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So the Sigma Nu house at Old Dominion University in Virginia apparently decided last weekend to reinforce the not-exactly-unjustified popular perception that fraternities are basically giant petri dishes for growing rape culture by hanging these lovely banners out for all incoming students to see.
People have already come out of the woodwork to defend the banners as “politically incorrect” humor, as Amanda Marcotte points out on Pandagon, and suggesting that they can’t possibly be referring to rape. She quotes one Washington Post commenter, who claims that while
the signs are crude and dumb … this repulsive habit of charging “rape culture” every time a male mentions sex with a female is even more crude, more dumb, and far more dangerous. There is absolutely nothing in the signs (at least not the ones in the photo above) that even implies non-consensual sex. These lunatics throw around “rape” the way Joe McCarthy flung around “communist” and with just as much concern for truth and justice as he did.
Marcotte, who has encountered more than her share of mansplainy MRA trolls over the years, points out the fundamental bad faith of this “argument.”
Just because the signs imply rather than overtly call for force does not mean they aren’t rape culture. This is how rape culture is, in fact, created: Through winks and nudges, rather than overt calls to force sex on women.
While the banners do not overtly say “rape” on them, the implication is easy enough to see, even for people pretending they don’t see it. …
If you think of consent as something that is freely given and enthusiastic, the coercive element of these signs, which portray women as basically fuckholes who have no say in how they’re used, is staring you right in the face. …
But, of course, that comment shows what rape apologists always do: They suddenly pretend they are aliens from another planet and only learned human language last week and therefore are incapable of picking up on humor, implication, non-verbal communication and nuanced language. They pretend to ascribe to a form of communication so literal that even the slightest bit of metaphor or implication, to hear them talk, sends them spinning into a state of confusion.
Sounds like more than a few MRAs and GamerGaters I’ve encountered in my day. Actually, it sounds like almost all of them.
Happily, the school administrators at Old Dominion University are having none of it, suspending the frat pending an investigation.
Over at Fox News’ Outnumbered show — the one with all the women on it — co-host Harris Faulkner resorted to the old “boys will be boys” argument, saying that
these guys are teenagers and in their twenties and they were probably drunk when they were writing the sign … they’re just having a good time.
Later in the show, after co-host Kennedy Montgomery jokingly suggested she would send her own daughters to a convent to keep them safe, Faulkner declared
I’m going to keep them home in the kitchen.
For anyone playing along at home, this is rape culture too.
Yes, indeed, metaphor. These banners are clearly a metaphor. They are laced with nuanced subtext and subtle humour that onlookers are simply refusing to see.
It was all a metaphor for… something.
That doesn’t look like drunk writing to me. Letters of uniform size, lines centered—I mean, that’s a lot of text on there. Those aren’t rough draft sheets.
I suppose it could have been an alcoholic idea, but I gotta think it was enacted with some care by sober people.
Who is spoiling these man-boys and make them strut around so? My family and teachers never would have coddled such mean-spirited entitlement. It would have been nipped in the bud. How is it that this the first time these frat boys have ever been told no?
Yuck, just yuck. This kind of thing makes me glad I didn’t go to university.
I just dropped my freshman son off at college this weekend, and I miss him terribly.
When he and his younger brother were in middle school, I asked them if boys still come up behind the girls when they’re at their locker and snap their bras. We used to hate when boys did that, and they did it to us constantly! My sons looked at me with shock and horror on their faces and said, “People actually did that??! That’s sexual harassment!”
Next they’ll say girls should have stayed in the kitchen and away from university if they weren’t asking to be raped.
High five! You are parenting right.
@Gaebolga
Here, have some Maru.
If you aren’t quite disgusted enough, check out the HI-larious comments about this story on some site I’ve never heard of before called “Total Frat Move.” It’s like a game of straw feminist bingo over there. Lots of “feminists are just jealous cause they’re ugly and these signs weren’t directed at them, LOL” and other charming shit that.
*Should have been “charming shit like that.”
“probably drunk when they were writing the sign”
Right..
Drunk for men: you get to do whatever you want and you won’t be held accountable
Drunk for women: men can do whatever they want to you and it’s all your fault.
That’s just great.
Usual ‘Freeze Peach’ nonsense at Popehat. Which is disappointing.
Saying this is a teachable moment is like asking why you don’t like compliments when you complain about sexual harassment.
Misognists/anti feminists/society:
“Boys will be boys”
“Teach your daughters how to dress and act, don’t you know boys can’t control themselves because it’s biology?”
“Boys are pretty much animals they go with their instincts so just keep women and girls away from men and boys at all costs becuase you know they seriously can’t control themselves definetly animals no worse than animals”
:later:
“What do you mean I hate men and boys? Feminists are the man haters because they don’t put men and boys first 24/7 don’t they know that men and boys are more important? Not putting men and boys in the spotlight for a second is worse than genocide!”
Also this is why I wish for more girl only schools.
Ironically, “politically incorrect” is itself the politically correct term for “complete and total bastard”.
I’m actually trying to think if there’s any way that these kind of signs could be make to be okay – something that gets across “welcome, let’s have some (safe) sexy fun if you’d enjoy that” with no implied (or overt) predatory slant to them, because it’s college, and people should be able to enjoy that as part of their new-found freedom! Unfortunately boys of societies like these – and actually, the sexual roles that are put on men and women in general in life – have pretty much rendered that impossible. Thanks a lot, men!
I am so pissed at myself for ever being part of a fraternity… *sigh*…
I’m so sorry for ever being a part of this…
If you’re advertising availability for consensual sex, you advertise YOU. Rowdy, bawdy, good-natured fun would be something along the lines of, “Ladies, GET YOUR MAN MEAT HERE,” or “Freshman girls: get us drunk and take advantage of us!” or “Booty calls answered here.”
You don’t talk about women like they’re objects being passed around, and you don’t strongly imply that she’s going to have that “good time” whether she’s ready or not (much less consenting or not).
Crass?
Sure.
Enough to make parents want to turn around and urge their freshmen daughters to do the first two years at a community college?*
Absolutely.
But not rapey bullshit.
* Note: If they’re going to ODU and are a resident of Virginia, not a bad option – get an AA or an AS for <1/2 the cost and transfer in as a Junior.
What about young women being around 20 just having a good time while drinking? ”asking for it”
Fuck you. And oh, I wont stay in the kitchen…Im going to drink with my male friends. Or should I view them as dangerous in ”stay safe”…?
men should stop drinking if they do shitty things like assaulting people or writing offensive shit.
Drinking is no excuse or whatever. If you drink you must be hold responsible. Because YOU are hurting people….
Charlotte; No men cant rape drunk women…and its not fine or their fault. Drunk men who rape are 100% rapists. Drunk men who murder people are murders. Dont drink if you cant handle it. Period.
Steubenville; those boys were drunk but still held responsible for their shitty actions, only silly rape apologists think like that and blame the girl
@LG:
Just a slight modificaton to propose: “Freshman girls: get us drunk and take advantage of us! But not too drunk, or we might not be able to perform!” With a footnote: “This is Biology 101. See? You’re learning stuff at uni already.”
I’m glad the school suspended them. And really I did something bad because I was drunk isn’t an excuse. You still did something uneceptable. Apologize and try to make up for it at the least. I mean if you burned down a building because you were drunk that wouldn’t be an excuse. So why is it here?
Of course they went with the “it’s just a joke!” defence. Yeah, it’s obviously a joke, that doesn’t mean it’s funny or that they aren’t assholes for making it.
tinyorc: No one is saying that the banners are a Metaphor. What were saying is that they treat women as objects with no agency of there own. This is part of rape culture. The fact that you can’t recognize this says more about you than us.