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MRAs: The real injustice is that men had to use Ashley Madison to cheat, while women just have to exist

MISANDRY in action?
MISANDRY in action?

Forget the reported suicides and all the ruined lives; the real tragedy of Ashley Madison is that men had to use the site in order to find women to cheat with, when all women have to do to get laid is to exist.

At least that’s the consensus of Men’s Rights Redditors in a recent thread.

The Reddit post in question links to an article in The Week asking “Why are we denying that women used Ashley Madison?” But the assembled MRAs are much more interested in discussing what they see as the real issue: how unfair it is that men have to sign up for dating sites to get laid while women, allegedly, can just fall into bed with whatever random dude is nearest to them.

The male tears flow freely as the Redditors set forth their case.

zenicaone 3 points 7 hours ago Women do not have to use Ashley Madison (paid site) in order to cheat they can use facebook (or other similar free sites) or simply walk down to the bar , when they want to cheat

It’s MISANDRY, I tells ya!

Globalization101 9 points 6 hours ago This is the real story that no one is touching. It's the WOW effect, women are wonderful men are duchebags. Most of all the women I've slept with in my adult life where almost all married or in a relationship. They didn't need to use this service to get what they wanted. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]jb_trp 9 points 5 hours ago It's the WOW effect, women are wonderful men are douchebags When a woman discusses the horrible things that men can do society calls it "insight, empowerment, and a step towards equality." When a man discusses the horrible things that women can do society calls it "sexism, misogyny, and mansplaining" (i.e. "shut up you whiny fucking loser!"). Men eventually got the message: Society doesn't care about your feelings. Hence, the women are wonderful and men are douchebags trope. permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]BigOldNerd 1 point an hour ago Can confirm that my ex-wife didn't need a service. She hit the jackpot on her 1st outing.

As Palidin327 sees it, women not only don’t have to sign up for Ashley Madison; they can have sex delivered right to the door for free — without even bothering to order it in the first place.

Paladin327 1 point 4 hours ago Women don't actually need websites to have affairs don't need the internet to meet the mailman/poolboy

If this is true, why aren’t horny men lining up around the block for jobs as mailmen and poolboys?

Meanwhile, Spolio repeats a familiar talking point:

spolio 6 points 8 hours ago Women don't actually need websites to have affairs women are the gate keepers of sex, and yeah , you are correct, they don't need web sites, just a nod, look, come hither... done.

Dudes, here’s the thing: YOU are also the gatekeepers of sex. You can also say no! Just because your standards are lower, or because you have standards you’re unaware of because you only really notice the women that you do want to have sex with and not those you dismiss as fatties and uggoes, doesn’t mean that (heterosexual) sex is always the woman’s choice, not the man’s.

You’re also forgetting that women don’t only screen guys for attractiveness, compatibility, or lack of ear hair; they screen for safety because, you know, men are afraid women will laugh at them, and women are afraid that men will kill them.

If women don’t want to sleep with you, maybe it’s because you’re a creepy, whiny, entitled Men’s Rights Activist.

 

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Tigerbos
Tigerbos
5 years ago

The mentality of these idiots never ceases to amaze me.

anemonerosie
5 years ago

Maybe if you treat her as a person she’ll want to sleep with you? Nah! That’s too hard! I’ll just whinge about her until it wins her over! Or rape her. Either or.

LG.
LG.
5 years ago

It’s almost as if the risk to reward ratio for women when it comes to sex is different or something. But that’s impossible, surely.

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

So, does this mean they’ve abandoned the narrative that loads of cheating wives will be publicly shamed by the Ashley Madison hack?

I’m finding this whole Ashley Madison scandal really horrible, I know cheating is wrong but it’s a private matter, and somehow I doubt the wronged spouses are enjoying this either. I think this is the closest we’ve gotten to revenge porn against men, I’ve seen comments gloating over the men who are alleged to have committed suicide over this.

I hope they do find the hackers responsible, and then someone sues Ashley Madison for their lousy security for good measure.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Because no men ever cheated before Ashley Madison.

makingfitzcarraldo
makingfitzcarraldo
5 years ago

The pussy pass is so real!

ryeash
5 years ago

So…the guy who’s mad at women for cheating is (supposedly) sleeping with women who are in relationships. Cool morals, jackass.

And y’know, the worst criticisms I’ve heard about cisgendered heterosexual white men have come from cisgendered heterosexual white men. Never have I ever heard anyone else call them–as a group of individuals–such horrible names as they call themselves to provide “examples” of their “oppression”. The rest of the world is not responsible for your own self-talk, dudes.

davidknewton
davidknewton
5 years ago

Regarding “having to” use a site to find someone to have sex with – have they tried just not being repulsive for a moment?

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

It’s almost as if the risk to reward ratio for women when it comes to sex is different or something. But that’s impossible, surely.

Nooooooooo.
Men are REALLY the ones at risk! Haven’t you read any of the manosphere’s well-written and throughly documented articles regarding the phenomenon of sperm jacking? All those women and the calculated lust for random men’s liquid gold.
Between that and the rampant false rape accusations, it’s a wonder that any American man is left free to spread the word.
/s

and

/S

for good measure.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

“The Ashley Madison debacle just goes to show how privileged women are, since they can just walk outside and ask any dude for sex and get it.”

“Is that dude in a relationship?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“So… all dudes are horrifically unfaithful to their spouses?”

“Yes… wait, no, this is about women being bad. No, a dude in a relationship wouldn’t say yes.”

“So she couldn’t ask any dude for sex…”

“Yeah, she’d have to seek out single dudes, but there are plenty of those around.”

“So any dude not in a relationship would say yes?”

“Obviously.”

“And she could ask any single dude?”

“Right.”

“So women have no standards?”

“Rig… er… no, obviously they only go for hot guys. Women have an inflated sense of their own SMV, and only have sex with the alphas. 80-20 rule.”

“Ok, so women couldn’t ask any single dude.”

“Well, they could!”

“Could you ask for sex from someone you found extremely unattractive?”

“*blech* No. Ugh, fine. Alright, so a woman who wants to cheat could ask any single hot dude for sex and get it.”

“So single hot dudes have no standards?”

“Uhh…”

“Standards that you have even though you don’t have your pick of hot women?”

“Well, ok, she has to be attractive…”

“So any attractive woman could ask for sex from any attractive single dude and get it in order to cheat.”

“Yes… Yes, of course! Alpha fucks, Beta bucks! Women marry a poor shlub of a dude for his money but deny him sex, then go off and fuck all the hot dudes behind his back. Women are awful!”

“Could any attractive married man ask for sex from any attractive single woman and get it in order to cheat?”

“No! It’s easier for women!”

“Aren’t the attractive dudes the Alphas, the ones who sleep with all the hot chicks? Are the chicks coming to them or are they going to the chicks?”

“Obviously they can pick and choose. They’re Alphas!”

“So basically, it’s very easy for a conventionally very attractive person to have sex.”

“Yes.”

“And this makes women terrible.”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Aside: I can’t vouch for everything on this site (haven’t plumbed its depths), but it seems like it’s having the conversations that I was hoping something calling itself the Men’s Right’s Movement would be having when I first started *shudder* researching:

http://goodmenproject.com/about/

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Aaaaand it’s down in the 2 minutes it took me to write that response.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

How are these women finding people to cheat with on Facebook? Wouldn’t men also be using Facebook to cheat easily in that aspect? Are there just lesbians using Facebook to cheat?

Are there?

katz
katz
5 years ago

Mockingbird: The Good Men Project is a mixed bag. It has some seriously sketchy stuff (it was one of Hugo Schwyzer’s main haunts), but on the other hand, our erstwhile Mammotheer Ozy also wrote there.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

they can use facebook (or other similar free sites) or simply walk down to the bar , when they want to cheat

And if they don’t want to cheat, well, who cares what they want, they’ll get hit on anyway. Constantly. Or worse.

If this “All women want to cheat all the time!” garbage didn’t start as a half-assed justification for sexual harassment and rape, I’ll eat my 3DS.

peristyle
peristyle
5 years ago

What I find curious is that these guys talk about how they’ve been with women who are married or attached. Hello! Shouldn’t these guys be ashamed of that too? Why only condemn the women for cheating? These guys are part of it too. But no! It’s always just the women’s fault. (Not that I’m in any way excusing a woman who cheats.) I think both people who willingly enter in an affair where there is “cheating” involved are to blame and shouldn’t be proud of themselves. (I see ryeash has also covered this!)

I don’t know where else to ask this, but I’m curious. Has anyone else on this blog mentioned that there’s an online petition to get RooshV’s books off of Amazon? It is almost at the required 150,000 votes. I really want to see it succeed.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

When a woman discusses the horrible things that men can do society calls it “insight, empowerment, and a step towards equality.” When a man discusses the horrible things that women can do society calls it “sexism, misogyny, and mansplaining” (i.e. “shut up you whiny fucking loser!”).

When women discuss the bad shit men do, it’s along the lines of sexual harassment, domestic abuse, rape and murder. When men discuss the “Bad shit” women do, it’s along the lines of being raped, speaking out against rape, having bodily autonomy, having agency, having sex, not having sex, voting and existing. I get that MRAs aren’t very good with nuance, but… That doesn’t even fucking count as nuance. o_O

Linax5
Linax5
5 years ago

Well we are the gate keepers? So we can decide what to do with our vagina, right? If no one gets hurt and all that…

But how dare a woman has Sex, evil slut….

I don’t understand them.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Men’s rights activists/Misognists/antifeminists logic:

Call women and girls Misognist slurs like s*uts, easy and wh*res when they wear certain clothes, flirt, slept with someone/likes sex etc and say they are disgusted with that and they should be more decent but hangs out with them anyway and watches those kind of women and girls in porn.

Later complain why its so hard to get a date/laid and why they should do all the work to impress women and girls.

I bet these are the same men who tell feminists/women to shut up about first world problems and think about the women and girls in other countries.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Linax5
“But how dare a woman has Sex, evil slut….”

But how dare a woman has sex And Not With Me, evil s*ut….

FTFY. It’s all about jealously and sexual insecurities.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

In constantly harping on about the ‘gatekeeper’ thing these men are admitting what their real concern is.

By complaining that women can choose either to not have sex with men generally or, more specifically, with them they’re making clear that their real objection is the requirement for consent.

They might as well be honest and say “Women shouldn’t be allowed to say ‘no'”.

Robjec
Robjec
5 years ago

David I’m confused by one of the lines in your article. Wouldn’t homosexual sex also be the women’s or man’s choice? Why did you specify heterosexual sex?

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Robjec
He meant specifically the straight men who are complaining about women being the “gatekeepers” of course men and women in homosexual relationships have the right to say no.

Robjec
Robjec
5 years ago

@kirbywrap
your doing it wrong. That conversation would involve using logic and recognizeing contradictions. 🙂

Robjec
Robjec
5 years ago

@Fruitloopsie
Ahhh ok. It just seemed weird to me to specify.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
5 years ago

@Alan

But they’re probably also huge fans of the “Man’s home is his castle” thing. But only for them. The wind may enter, the rain may enter, but the king may not enter: hate to tell you lads, it applies to people’s bodies too. Even when the king is a returning one.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Alan
http://www.mzshyneka.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/giphy4.gif

I find it infuriating they think that men and boys cannot say no becuase they are always ready for sex so they just erased male victims of rape. Way to go a-holes.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Hey, OT mind bleach. A guy belly dancing:

It’s super interesting, culturally enlightening and there’s body glitter.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

That YouTube page is in, like, four different languages and I can’t figure out where the guy is from so it MIGHT not be culturally enlightening as I thought…

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Too much logic from the commenters here. My head hurts.

CCD
CCD
5 years ago

They seem to forget that these heterosexual women they are so bitter over, who get sex so easily, are getting that sex on with… men. Men who are apparently finding sex with these women without the use of paid dating sites. I doubt this is a small pool of men for a large pool of women, either. At least, not significantly smaller. Which means that it’s a two-way street, and plenty of men ARE having sex, just not THESE losers!

Catalpa
5 years ago

If this “All women want to cheat all the time!” garbage didn’t start as a half-assed justification for sexual harassment and rape, I’ll eat my 3DS.

Yyyyup.

“Women can gave sex any time they want! Heck, they can even have sex when they DON’T want! Women who fall unconscious in the presence of any dude [at least any dude who is anything like the speaker, and they assume this trait is universal] is going to get sex like, right away! What a huge privilege those [insert slur of choice here] have, getting sex handed to them without even asking for it (even though they’re totally asking for it, amirite fellas?)!”

Ugh. Writing that made me feel dirty.

Vetarnias
Vetarnias
5 years ago

The creaky Victorian in me fails to understand why someone should *set out* to be unfaithful to one’s spouse. It’s one thing to be married, then meet someone else you want to get close to (and wished to have met before your current spouse); it’s quite another to register on a website with the express intent of cheating with someone, anyone, as long as you’re cheating.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go and trim my sideburns.

Nitram
5 years ago

All idiocy aside, I don’t get the point of AM site. Married people usually don’t seek out affairs, they just “happen.” Like “I never planned this, etc.” if you’re looking to screw or date outside of your relationship there’s many sites designed for hooking up. I just don’t see the appeal. You get married for the express purpose of staying with one person. Is it just me? Do you have to be a devious shitstain to understand?

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

Hidden assumption of MRAs: All women= white, thin, hetero, conventionally attractive.

Because it certainly is not the case that the rest of us can “get laid” any time, anywhere.

None of the rest of us count as women to these knuckleheads.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Whenever men do the “women can have sex with a man anytime they want” or “how can you complain about being catcalled, I’d love it!” I have to roll my eyes. Sure I could I find sex anytime despite being not an HB10 and past the wall at an ancient 35. But, with who? Can I have sex specifically with any man I find attractive anytime I want? Not so much. Could I pick up a skeevy and possibly dangerous creep from the internet or the bus stop? Sure! Only super conventionally attractive women are even visible to these men. So when they picture getting genitalia shots on OK Cupid, getting catcalled and being able to find a willing sex partner 24/7, they’re picturing their fantasy women throwing themselves at them. They aren’t gender flipping our reality. They’re conjuring up their wank material and getting mad it’s not their reality.

It all comes down to the usual manosphere complaint. That they don’t have an endless supply of thin, pretty, young virgins at their beck and call. This is somehow on the same level as being raped and abused.

ColeYote
ColeYote
5 years ago

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on; the guy who claims every woman he’s ever slept with has been married is upset about being stereotyped as a “douchebag”?

anon
anon
5 years ago

So they want slut-nun-virgin-whores-man hungry-sex avoiders who will have sex with men that don’t wipe.

And they wonder why they’re bitter and alone.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
5 years ago

@sn0rkmaiden

At least one of those things has already come true: just today Ashley Madison have been sued by five separate plaintiffs for a total of over $500 million, which should amount to about $15 for each stolen account. It seems a bit steep, but they’re probably hoping to settle out of court. I think it’s safe to say that AM won’t be recovering from this.

pecunium
5 years ago

One of the things not being discussed is just how craptastic AM has been about security from the beginning. They didn’t (or at least some time) engage in account authorisation; so people who wanted to arrange harassment campaigns, could (and did) sign people up for accounts, so that they could then get pestered (or bombarded) with AM sourced mail.

A sort of Distributed Means Of Harassment, a la a DDOS attack.

So the data may all be from AM, and still be incredibly corrupted.

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
5 years ago

@Nitram

I thinkthat their appeal to married people is that they’re supposed to offer a much larger degree of privacy and security to their users, so they don’t get found out by their spouses. It’s also easier to keep things secret if the person you’re having an affair with knows that you’re married from the start, rather than finding out afterwards.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Amazing. Here I’ve merely existed for more than four decades, and somehow managed NOT to have any cheaty-ass affairs. What the hell am I doing wrong???

drst
drst
5 years ago

I am so so SO beyond sick of this MRA fantasy that women can have sex on demand without having to do anything. It’s so obvious that they don’t consider non-“HB10” women to exist (they don’t think women are human to begin with). It goes hand in hand with the “women never experience rejection” bullshit – since men “have” to make the first move women have NO IDEA how haaaaard it is to risk that rejection nevermind the 4 billion other forms of rejection that exist.

I know a lot of women who aren’t having sex. I know a lot of women who have been rejected, brutally, by someone. I really just want this fucking meme to die.

amy
amy
5 years ago
weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Off topic, but I’m so relieved somebody besides me saw the trailer for No Escape and thought “wow, that’s racist as fuck.” I pretty much had a rage stroke when I first saw the trailer but didn’t see anything about it anywhere else and wondered if it was just me.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-theres-no-escape-from-hollywood-racism/

Speaking of racist trailers
https://youtu.be/aGGPTlrX_PE

Holy crap, what the fuck? Eli Roth really needs to bungee jump into a pit of Legos anytime now.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@wwth

Oh, I saw an article about No Escape, I think, on Cracked.

Some sort of username
Some sort of username
5 years ago

@WWTH

I… I have no words. Has the idea that anyone not from a “civilised” western civilisation is some kind of murderous cannibal deity worshiping “savage” STILL not died out? In 2015? And that these people live in the fucking rain forest?

lightcastle
lightcastle
5 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger, The defense I’ve heard is that the point of the movie is to pick on the “White Saviour Complex”. These kids in knowing nothing of what’s actually happening. I don’t think people are buying that defense, but that is what I’ve seen trotted out.

chaltab
chaltab
5 years ago

The defense I’ve heard is that the point of the movie is to pick on the “White Saviour Complex”. These kids in knowing nothing of what’s actually happening. I don’t think people are buying that defense, but that is what I’ve seen trotted out.

I think that would hold more weight if it was their own stupidity and ignorance that got them in trouble instead of man-eating Peruvian savages.

Also is it just me or is anyone else interpreting the critic quotes in the trailer as though they’re not actually frightened by the movie but rather by the horrific racism and cultural insensitivity on display.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

lightcastle,
I suppose it’s possible. But you’d think if that’s what the movie was going for, that would be clear from the trailer. If someone needs to be a mind reader to pick up on the satire, you’re doing satire wrong.

Of course the comments on the Cracked article are full of people whining about how mean the SJWs are to white people. If the people who defend your movie are the types of people who think anti-white racism is a thing, again, you’re doing something wrong.

But I’m sure people will buy that defense because that’s what they want to believe.

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