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It must be strange indeed to live inside the head of Paul Elam, founder of Men’s Rights garbage site A Voice for Men. What must it be like to be so filled with hatred of women — and flowers, and candy — that you find yourself writing a 1300-word denunciation of Valentine’s Day, not on the holiday itself, but six months early?
In a recent post with the lovely title “Time for a National Whore’s Day or something,” Elam warns us of the impending approach (some six months from now) of the dreaded holiday, which he describes as “another manufactured binge of male shame-spending on women who claim to love them.”
And he’s just getting started.
There are many aspects to The Big Day financially. Candy, flowers, jewelry, fine dining, champagne, romantic getaways and a lot of other things that mandate men to empty their wallets. That’s so the women in their lives can be reminded of their speshulness and maybe give a little poon in return.
It is fair and accurate to say that offering up the poon is about the only expectation of women on this day of “romance.”
Apparently on some terrible Valentine’s day in the distant past Elam sprung for a half-dozen wilted roses and a deluxe Whitman’s Sampler and his, er, beloved refused to “offer up” the obligatory “poon.” And he’s been furious about it ever since.
Elam cites an unnamed survey claiming that
over half of women surveyed said they would end a relationship if they were not given something on Valentine’s Day – which is to say that 53% of the women surveyed are whores, and just like more garden variety whores, they will take a hike when they aren’t being paid.
This alleged statistic is the prime bit of “evidence” for Elam’s “argument” that women are a bunch of flower-obsessed “whores.”
So where did he get it? Elam cites a dubious site called “Statistics Brain,” which claims to have gotten it from a 2015 survey conducted for the “Retail Advertising and Marketing Associatio [sic].”
I tracked down the group’s 2015 survey, and the numbers on “Statistics Brain” don’t match the numbers in the original. Nor is there any mention of what percentage of women would leave their partners if they didn’t get V-Day presents.
Doing a bit of Googling, I found multiple references to this 53%, sometimes attributed to Statistics Brain, but without any hint as to where it actually originated. An article earlier this year in the New York Daily News claimed it came from a survey by WalletHub, but that “survey” turned out to be nothing more than an infographic, which didn’t give sources for any of its specific figures, attributing the bunch of them to a variety of sources including “news reports.”
So am I saying that Mr. Elam grabbed onto a questionable stat of uncertain provenance because it matched his misogyistic preconceptions, without bothering to check where it came from?
Survey says … yes!
Naturally, Elam returns to this dubious factoid later in his post.
What happens to roses after you shell out some hard-earned cash so you can give them to a woman who will kick you to the curb if you don’t cough up her petals? That’s right, they look and smell good for a very short period of time. Then they become useless discards, like the majority of relationships and at least 53% of surveyed vaginas.
Nice. And again:
If the woman who “loves” you hinges that love on whether you shower her with frivolous, wasteful presents; if she will leave you if she doesn’t get them, then just stick a C-note in her whorish little bra, show her the door, and find yourself another whore who is a lot more honest about how she does business.
And if the man who “loves” you writes 1300 word rants about Valentine’s Day … in AUGUST, run like the wind.
I’ve never actually been a big fan of Valentine’s Day myself, but the fact that it makes Elam this pig-biting mad makes me feel a bit warmer about it, I have to say.
Not a fan of VD myself, mainly because it provides douchebags like Elam and his merry band of MRA’s with a socially sanctioned means of pretending that they’re loving sweethearts to partners who they abuse, belittle and neglect the other 364 days of the year.
My favorite holiday is called The Day After.
The Day After Valentine’s Day (THE SECOND BEST ONE, but only by a little bit)
The Day After Easter
The Day After Halloween (THE BEST ONE)
The Day After Christmas
Because that’s when all the candy goes on sale.
http://media.giphy.com/media/PeiD6CRhuMrW8/giphy.gif
The Day After Valentine’s Day is good because there’s more chocolate and varieties thereof, but The Day After Halloween is best because CHEAP HALLOWEEN DECOR ON SALE THAT I CAN USE YEAR-ROUND~
I second this.
I never really understood the appeal of cut flowers as a romantic gift. It seems to say “here allow these plants that are fragrant and beautiful for now and will die in 2 weeks represent my affection for you.”
Potted flowers or other plants, those I’d like.
Though I tend to celebrate February 15th, personally. Discount candy day!
@Hipsterminator,
meh, that YouTube thing sounded more like one of Roosh’s wet dreams, the Battle of Montreal was a pyrrhic victory for him at best. Yes, he did get to speak in front of a handful of guys who already support him, and he’ll increase his site traffic for a few days, but he’s become a laughing stock in the mainstream media, a minor hate figure who most people will lose interest in in a couple of days. Meanwhile the guys who do support him are keeping a low profile IRL, while doing their usual online trolling which is nothing new.
Though I did hear that the petition to get his books taken off amazon has reached 90,000 signatures, and is hitting the national headlines here in Britain. Here’s the link if anyone’s interested:
https://www.change.org/p/amazon-com-amazon-stop-selling-rooshv-daryush-valizadeh-rape-books?utm_source=action_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=371696&alert_id=ZiziJiJoPP_BdEdf%2F79tVeOvGRIzhNYrGFE0zMBVzIQNSa8SzIPrS5L7nCoNjofnnjp8TSat%2BU5
Ah, ninja’d
@ Pandapool
That was great; but is anybody else now rooting through the fridge thinking “I’m sure there was some ham in here”?
@Paradoxy,
yes absolutely on the discounted chocolate that’s up for grabs after Valentine’s Day.
I can’t believe Elam is ranting about such a thing in August, does his girlfriend want to go on a mini break and she’s asking to pay half or something? Maybe she’s been dropping hints about him chipping in for some rent?
On the rare occasions I managed to not to be single on VD I always considered gifts to be a reciprocal thing.
@isidore13
“What praise are you referring to? And again, you’re assuming that this issue has never been addressed on this blog. How often does he need to address this issue to satisfy you? Would you be happy if he added some sort of disclaimer to every single post?”
The praise from the media, and the fact that he has such a large fanbase.
He also literally has more freedom as to what he CAN say and who he CAN criticize while still being praised. Yes, he has people who attack him, but he will always have his white masculinity to legitimize him. The very fact that he is generally considered intelligent (he IS intelligent, do not misinterpret me here please) is partly due to the fact that he is a white man. In this world, as someone with any kind of significant privilege, even when you earn something you haven’t fully, 100 percent earned it. And any white man getting large amounts of attention and praise for a blog that is feminist in nature can trace a large part of his success to the marginalization of women and people of color. That’s nothing against him or his efforts whatsoever, that’s just the way the world is structured and NO amount of allyship could negate that. Cats Against Feminism was my example, because it’s arguably (I believe *certainly*) problematic in nature.
Again, when I asked if anyone brought that up I was referring to the thread specifically because of the specific nature of the thread. I found the whole thing ironic. And to be honest, I know some people won’t like this, but there is NO LIMIT to the amount of times he could point out his own privilege. NONE. If he did add a disclaimer to every single post it wouldn’t even be excessive. This is not something I’m advocating for, however. In a post about a male feminist though? He probably should.
I love that you’re all on board with the ‘day after = discount chocolate’ thing. I was so brought up like that. We never had Easter Eggs until they went on sale (even as a kid that appealed to my commercial sense).
I’m sure if any of you ever need to seek asylum in Yorkshire you’ll be welcome.
@ellesar Yeah Halloween is totes misandry- all those sloots wearing costumes who WONT LET YOU TOUCH THEM! And some of them probably dress as video game characters, so they’re also “fake geek girls”, and also some men dress as women, which is Oppression :-p (it’s like MRA bingo!) I personally like to wear my Fuzzy Owl Onsie halloween costume to parties. Everyone else is freezing in skimpy little costumes, and i’m basically wearing my PJs! And Mr. Alpine doesn’t see anything wrong with that :-p
@Paradoxical
He as a white man criticizing other white men is obviously not offensive, it’s commendable. But when people respond to criticisms by implying that the other~ person is saying a white man can’t criticize (mostly) other white men that is a typical tactic used by MRAs.
Off topic, but the link below is an article about Roosh (and Amazon):
http://www.salon.com/2015/08/21/amazon_and_the_pick_up_artist_how_the_celebration_of_purposeful_darwinism_destroys_women_first
Hey 01010101010101 — that thread was closed for a reason (as in, David needs to spend some time elsewhere), and it is pretty rude to spill it to a different thread.
@ Eugenies/01010101
David closed down that thread to put a stop to the mess that was happening in it. Don’t drag it in here.
Happy Birthday, Frootloopsie! Also, welcome to the land of over 21. It’s not that different from the land of under 21, only people seem to magically think you’re more mature or something…
People are strange, that way.
Also, seconding the love of the “Day After” holiday. That’s when I buy Christmas light strings for gentle night lights and hallway illumination, and when I stock up on those delicious dark chocolate mini Easter eggs, and when I get those adorable little fake spiders.
P.S. Also, high five for deciding drinks taste nasty! I knew I couldn’t be the only one!
It was such a disappointment to my cousin, who worked in a brewery…
Off-topic: Here’s complementarian guru John Piper telling women that, when they pick a career, the most important consideration is to think of the manfeels.
@ Katz
That’s even more confusing than the bread and apples thing!
I am also a huge fan of Discount Candy Day. All those types jelly beans you can only get around Easter are the best.
My hubby and I tend stay in on Valentine’s Day and make ourselves a nice dinner using the good china and everything. We sit at one end of the table and eat by candlelight. It’s much nicer, far more relaxing and we can chat as long as we want without a server hovering over us waiting for us to leave.
Depending on what kind of movie we’re in, he might.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m823mpXFh01r20xa0.gif
@ Katz
I wish the postman would ring twice; rather than just leaving that card that says “we tried to deliver” and vanishing like a fucking ninja.
And I’d just be happy with a Payday bar and some bulbs to plant tiger lilies or one of those teeny mini rose bushes. Because I don’t like chocolate and I can’t stand cut flowers… Actually, I only get Valentine’s presents from my Dad and I’d be thrilled if he remembered that I don’t like chocolate.