So @benschoen, the putatively feminist co-founder of feminspire and the former co-host of a popular Harry Potter podcast, is having a bit of a meltdown on Twitter at the moment.
Well, more than a bit of a meltdown. He’s flying apart like the washing machine in the video above, announcing and quickly canceling online “press conferences,” lashing out at critics with bizarre “jokes” and weird threats, and generally acting like a giant ass.
For example:
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633325425272451072
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633712589265088512
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715930883846144
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633468512250535940
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633461383309475840
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633422642805084162
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633398579042865154
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322695397142528
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715165054267393
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382676746121216
In addition to joking about menstruation and comparing himself to woman-beating pro football player Ray Rice, he’s also made some super-funny jokes about committing suicide:
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322086551953408
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633342393815842820
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382587113820160
Oh, and for some reason he keeps mentioning Hitler.
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633716053026205696
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633397429820354560
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633390461143654400
The whole thing started yesterday when Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman posted screenshots of some Tweets and messages Schoen had sent her — first hitting on her in an exceedingly creepy manner and then reacting with fury and additional creepiness when she politely told him she had a boyfriend.
After Spelman posted her screenshots, other women came forward who said they’d had their own weird experiences with Schoen, including the co-founder of feminspire and a former writer for the site, both of whom evidently left the site because they couldn’t deal with Schoen’s creepy ass any more.
You can read more of the details over on NYmag.com, or on Jezebel, or on Spelman’s Twitter timeline. Or watch the continuing horrorshow live on Twitter.
Are there any lessons to be learned from all this? Why, yes, there are. Here are 8 Ways to Not Be a Male Feminist Creep, inspired by Schoen’s meltdown.
1) If you’ve never spoken to a woman before and the only reason she knows who you are is because she was a fan of a podcast you were on eight years ago, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond to a completely out-of-the-blue tweet to her.
2) And for god’s sake don’t try to force her to respond by going all stalkery on her.
3) And if she doesn’t respond to your stalkerish Tweets, don’t write her an even creepier Facebook message, I mean what the fuck were you even hoping to accomplish with this, dude?
4) And if she actually responds politely to all this creepiness and gently suggests you move on (see above), don’t send her a series of angry, insulting Tweets.
5) And then don’t write her a furious 1500 word diatribe that you don’t send, then write an, er, “apology” that you do send that starts off by mentioning the furious 1500 word diatribe you didn’t send.
6) When the woman you’ve thoroughly creeped out with all of this shit posts screenshots to Twitter, don’t dig your hole deeper with an endless stream of awful Tweets (see above).
7) And when your meltdown becomes so spectacular that it actually attracts press coverage, don’t send a message to one press outlet declaring that
I have done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights than any of the people who are criticizing me.
Because, dude, you haven’t.
And even if you had, it still wouldn’t justify any of this.
But, you know what, you don’t need to remember all of these rules if you can just remember the following:
8) If you send a message to a woman you’ve never spoken to before in your life and she doesn’t respond, just move the fuck on.
How hard is that?
Dammit.
Paradoxical, the only comments I saw are referring to me as an idiot, MRA, troll and misogynist all for leaving that one comment. I do not know the best way to use this comment forum. But those are the comments I saw and the people I was responding to. And honestly no I do not find it “petulant” to be shocked that such a short and non violent comment got me called all of those things. I really thought this would be a relatively safe place to leave a comment and receive responses that were normal, because when I first commented it required approval. I didn’t know I would immediately be called all of those things and jumped at like that. People are certainly allowed free speech so I am not telling anyone they can’t say anything as long as it’s approved on this site. But the response to that initial comment was over the top and unwarranted and that’s my opinion. Being called a man and an MRA and a troll, none of which I am, makes no sense and strikes me as ironic.
Does anyone else find it rather hilarious that someone claiming to be a feminist is having a meltdown over not being immediately deferred to to in the comments section of an article about someone claiming to be a feminist having a meltdown over not being immediately deferred to?
Because I do.
Paradoxical, I don’t know why you wouldn’t see that I wouldn’t want my face or name on here as a woman of color. Like, isn’t that obvious…
Paradoxical you have to be trolling. I didn’t ever ask to be deferred to. I never thought my comment would even BE responded to. I was shocked by people calling me all manner of ridiculous crap over a single comment which actually has little significance. Don’t you guys get actual violent misogynist trolls here or is there slim pickings and that’s why you have to pretend I’m an MRA? I mean seriously.
Actually this one is better.
http://dudeareyouserious.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/joke-goes-over-head-superman.gif?w=610
“> Comes in all high and mighty and says that David’s problematic, then snaps at everyone in a highly passive-aggressive manner when we ask for clarification”
Eagerly awaiting the quote of me calling him problematic. I said he engaged in problematic behaviors, and I still believe that. I never called him problematic, bad, or any of these things you people on here keep claiming. And I was not asked for clarification. I was immediately mocked shut down and called an MRA troll. I do not ask to be deferred to but I don’t respond to even people I disagree with in that manner unless harsh words have already been exchanged. I see no reason for it. The person who asked me what I meant got a serious response. But I’m supposed to take people seriously when they call everyone an MRA troll. I’m not a man, I’m not an MRA and I’m not a troll. None of those attacks had jack to do with what I wrote.
I also have to point out your username really is very offensive. I saw someone linked you to what eugenics are and I hope you can now understand why coming in with that name didn’t help your not-a-troll case.
If you perceived my tone as high and mighty in my initial comment it was never intended that way. My initial comment really had none of the wild implications that everyone seem to take from it. I just wanted to put in my two cents as someone who had never seen the two items addressed. I said it must be brought up, and that’s how I feel. I do not see the issue and I do not see myself demonizing him in any of these comments.
Does anybody else find it really suspicious that after claiming to be a woman, only to discover that we don’t care, Eugenics Genocide immediately started claiming to be a woman of colour instead? Smells like #NotYourShield to me.
Are we going to get called trolls for posting cat pictures too?
@isidore13
I didn’t think about what handle I was using at the time of commenting honestly. It was a temporary handle that was made up quickly in order to use wordpress to create something, and I just left a comment. I don’t make wordpress comments and I didn’t realize any of this was going to happen or think about my screenname being read. I understand and can change my handle.
@Eugenicides:
The list of reasonable (ie not just insulting) comments made in response to your first post:
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/18/how-not-to-be-a-male-feminist-creep-8-lessons-from-the-ben-schoen-meltdown/comment-page-2/#comment-798987
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/18/how-not-to-be-a-male-feminist-creep-8-lessons-from-the-ben-schoen-meltdown/comment-page-2/#comment-799004
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/18/how-not-to-be-a-male-feminist-creep-8-lessons-from-the-ben-schoen-meltdown/comment-page-2/#comment-799009
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/18/how-not-to-be-a-male-feminist-creep-8-lessons-from-the-ben-schoen-meltdown/comment-page-2/#comment-799016
Nobody called you an MRA troll (that I could see) until your started posting tons of passive-aggressive bullshit. Hell, from what I can see you called Bina an MRA first here
@eugenicides
To answer your question on “real trolls,” we get many MRA trolls. Your initial comment was similar to some they leave. You keep calling regulars trolls, which doesn’t really help your case. Your name, not knowing the reason you stated behind it, does come off as the sort of thing many of the nastier MRA trolls have.
Have you checked out the comment policy yet?
@eugenicides
Whoops, ninja’d on the name thing. Sorry about that.
But anyway, on the off chance that you’re telling the truth: Still don’t care. I’m a gay woman. Other regulars are bi/pan women. Black women. Hispanic women. Asian women. Trans women. Trans men. Nonbinary people. Even cishet white dudes! Unless it’s actually relevant to the discussion, the important part is that we’re all people.
Aw, WordPress ate my comment directed to the meltdown.
Well, fuck it.
TL;DR: Stopped caring. You’re not willing to listen, you show no signs of being willing to listen, you only want to martyr yourself and listen to yourself talk.
Okay, so my other comment isn’t showing up, and I try to repost it and it says it’s a duplicate comment.
Huh.
Yeah, that happens to me a lot, even if I change a few words from the original. Isn’t WP awesome? =P
“So you snap instead of trying to clear up what may have been a misunderstanding, and that’s somehow our fault?”
I will not apologize that people called me an MRA. My initial comment was not an attack. I never said he was bad. I never said he shouldn’t have a site. I never even suggested he apologize. Where the hell did the vitriol come from? It came from before I flipped out – and yes, I flip out at being called an MRA – when I had only left that one comment. Like I said everyone is entitled to free speech but please explain how the hell calling me an idiot, MRA and all manner of other things makes ANY sense in response to my initial comment. And I still don’t understand the mental hoops you have to be going through in order to take issue with me saying yes, you have free speech, but no that was not warranted. That’s my opinion. It wasn’t warranted and I don’t act like that unless insults are already flying. It’s your prerogative to act differently and it’s mine to find that absolutely wild. You have the control to change the tone of the conversation so any idea that I want people to defer to me is wild as well. If you’re nice, I’ll be nice. If you call me an MRA troll, I’m going to be rude to you. It seems like you the ones who want deference… after calling me all manner of nonsense for no reason you want to whine about be being rude? Really?
< And I see no apology for calling us “liars” and your claims that we were trying to “gaslight” you.
No one's going to apologize for calling me a man and an MRA troll even though I'm a woman of color – unless I apparently bare my face or name for the whole world to see. Which I find ironic on a site against misogyny. There are obvious reasons why I don't want to do that and that doesn't make it right for people to continue to call me those things. You just want your cake and to eat it to. You're not going to call me an MRA and then demand an apology for me saying you're lying and gaslighting. Give me a break. You're so dedicated to feeling like you're right and that you're slaying internet trolls that you're willing to call a woc an MRA repeatedly.
> But anyway, on the off chance that you’re telling the truth: Still don’t care. I’m a gay woman. Other regulars are bi/pan women. Black women. Hispanic women. Asian women. Trans women. Trans men. Nonbinary people. Even cishet white dudes! Unless it’s actually relevant to the discussion, the important part is that we’re all people.
I am bringing up being a woc in response to being called an MRA so it is relevant to the discussion.
Paradoxical, shut up. I explained why cats against feminism offended me and you have to be trolling me at this point.
Kirby, you’re a liar. I was off this site for a couple days before I saw anyone respond to my initial comment so me being called an MRA obviously predates this.
Chairs, I added that because I always respond to the author as a white man so I clarified that I am a woc. No issue there. I don’t owe anyone my face, name or identity.