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How Not To Be a Male Feminist Creep: 8 Lessons From the Ben Schoen Meltdown

So @benschoen, the putatively feminist co-founder of feminspire and the former co-host of a popular Harry Potter podcast, is having a bit of a meltdown on Twitter at the moment.

Well, more than a bit of a meltdown. He’s flying apart like the washing machine in the video above, announcing and quickly canceling online “press conferences,” lashing out at critics with bizarre “jokes” and weird threats, and generally acting like a giant ass.

For example:

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633325425272451072

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633712589265088512

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715930883846144

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633468512250535940

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633461383309475840

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633422642805084162

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633398579042865154

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322695397142528

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715165054267393

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382676746121216

In addition to joking about menstruation and comparing himself to woman-beating pro football player Ray Rice, he’s also made some super-funny jokes about committing suicide:

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322086551953408

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633342393815842820

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382587113820160

Oh, and for some reason he keeps mentioning Hitler.

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633716053026205696

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633397429820354560

https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633390461143654400

The whole thing started yesterday when Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman posted screenshots of some Tweets and messages Schoen had sent her — first hitting on her in an exceedingly creepy manner and then reacting with fury and additional creepiness when she politely told him she had a boyfriend.

After Spelman posted her screenshots, other women came forward who said they’d had their own weird experiences with Schoen, including the co-founder of feminspire and a former writer for the site, both of whom evidently left the site because they couldn’t deal with Schoen’s creepy ass any more.

You can read more of the details over on NYmag.com, or on Jezebel, or on Spelman’s Twitter timeline. Or watch the continuing horrorshow live on Twitter.

Are there any lessons to be learned from all this? Why, yes, there are. Here are 8 Ways to Not Be a Male Feminist Creep, inspired by Schoen’s meltdown.

1) If you’ve never spoken to a woman before and the only reason she knows who you are is because she was a fan of a podcast you were on eight years ago, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond to a completely out-of-the-blue tweet to her.

2) And for god’s sake don’t try to force her to respond by going all stalkery on her.

CMnrMrmUYAEz48D CMnrMxnUAAEBEKc3) And if she doesn’t respond to your stalkerish Tweets, don’t write her an even creepier Facebook message, I mean what the fuck were you even hoping to accomplish with this, dude?

CMnrvCSUAAQvTWj

4) And if she actually responds politely to all this creepiness and gently suggests you move on (see above), don’t send her a series of angry, insulting Tweets.

CMnsVWMVEAAP7X5

 5) And then don’t write her a furious 1500 word diatribe that you don’t send, then write an, er, “apology” that you do send that starts off by mentioning the furious 1500 word diatribe you didn’t send.

CMnsxrWUsAE51Um

6) When the woman you’ve thoroughly creeped out with all of this shit posts screenshots to Twitter, don’t dig your hole deeper with an endless stream of awful Tweets (see above).

7) And when your meltdown becomes so spectacular that it actually attracts press coverage, don’t send a message to one press outlet declaring that

I have done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights than any of the people who are criticizing me.

Because, dude, you haven’t.

And even if you had, it still wouldn’t justify any of this.

But, you know what, you don’t need to remember all of these rules if you can just remember the following:

8) If you send a message to a woman you’ve never spoken to before in your life and she doesn’t respond, just move the fuck on.

How hard is that?

 

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leftwingfox
9 years ago

Thank god asshole meltdowns only produce vast quantities of bullshit rather than lethal radiation.

I wouldn’t turn down the concrete sarcophagus and a 100 km exclusion area though.

leftwingfox
9 years ago

Oh hai mark.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

He emailed the Mary Sue (twice) about it, and they wrote an article about it.

My favorite part is the second email.

Your article is printing a flat out lie. I never threatened her career. She started posting private emails and I said I would let her bosses know as that is against the policy of many media companies.

“You’re lying! I didn’t threaten her career! She was posting things I didn’t want anyone else to see because they’d make me look bad, so I said I was going to tell her bosses that she’s breaking the rules and that would surely get her fired!”

andiexist
andiexist
9 years ago

@WWTH

Stars above, I really wish that my sensory problems didn’t basically bar me from getting tattoos.

I *am* going to put green streaks in my hair, though, so that’s at least *some* of the Misandry Quota taken care of. 😉

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@WWTH

YAAAAAAAAS!

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

Ooooh, careful! We might be sexually objectifying them! (I know that’s a separate troll, but that one was silly as fuck.)

Woah
Woah
9 years ago

Lol not even /r9k/ is this cringey.

eugenicides
9 years ago

Holy crap. I almost feel like my point has been proven by these responses to my innocent comment. I am a 23 year old, female college student. My screen name is a mix of the author and book title (Virgin Suicides). I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to criticize this site whatsoever. I am a reader but I feel that nothing is above criticism and we should be mindful of the sites we read when it comes to issues like misogyny. But I guess not. Holy hell.

eugenicides
9 years ago

“Oh, let me guess: A humorless git who doesn’t understand satire, and doesn’t think a white man has the right to criticize/satirize/mock other mostly-white dudes who are complete fucking jackasses, infinitely worthy of mockery, and sorely in need of a good soccer-dribbling of their asses around the field.”

YOU ARE LITERALLY AN MRA DO NOT COME AT ME.

eugenicides
9 years ago

And I still think Cats Against Feminism was offensive sorry for having my own opinion on this site. Jesus Christ.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

I don’t understand how Cats Against Feminism is offensive.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

It was a parody taking the piss out of a stupid anti-feminist hashtag using kittens. That’s the opposite of offensive.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

My screen name is a mix of the author and book title (Virgin Suicides).

Well that’s a bold-faced lie. “Eugenicide” is a word that means “Committing genocide via or in the name of eugenics.”

eugenicides
9 years ago

I don’t know how to respond to a comment because this is my first time commenting in this cesspool.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

*Genocide committed via, I should say. COFFEE.

eugenicides
9 years ago

It’s not a lie. I literally combined the two. The book is by Jeffrey Eugenides.

eugenicides
9 years ago

I am so sorry I stated my opinion. I didn’t know this site was full of nutcases.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

Seriously though, how is Cats Against Feminism offensive? I really don’t understand.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Eugenicides,
First of all, you’ve given no reason for finding Cats Against Feminism – an obvious satire – offensive. So it just seems like a ridiculous troll comment.

Secondly, we get a lot of sea lion trolls here. So when you introduce yourself that way, we’re going to be suspicious. Why did you think you would be well received when your only comment was a criticism? Why is that so hard for you to understand? Is that how you introduce yourself to people in meat space? Neither this blog or David or the commenters are above criticism, but if criticizing is your purpose for posting, that’s trolling.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Eugenicides,
If I walked up to you and said “hi, I think your haircut is ugly” would you want to be my friend? Probably not. If you justifiably reacted poorly, would it be appropriate for me to conclude that you think you’re above criticism? No!

andiexist
andiexist
9 years ago
Reply to  eugenicides

@eugenicides

MRAs call non-satire things satire, but that doesn’t make obvious satire non-satirical, or make everyone who talks about satire a MRA. They’re confused cats. They’re anti-feminist cats because they don’t understand feminism. That’s the point.

Also, “nutcases” is an ableist insult, so we’d rather you didn’t use it. Please read the comments policy.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

So, let’s see.

– “David is a man therefore bad.”
– “You disagree with me therefore MRA.”
– Offensive 2edgy4u username.
– Claiming that a silly kitty parody is offensive but refusing to say why.
– Tone policing.
– Ableism.

MRA idiot trying their usual tactic of throwing around SJ words without knowing what those words actually mean, or just a regular idiot?

katz
katz
9 years ago

“That site is offensive.”
“Why?”
“JESUS CHRIST SORRY FOR HAVING AN OPINION.”

eugenicides
9 years ago

I’m sorry, I really do not give a crap what anyone says. When you jump to attack someone for merely criticizing the white male feminism GOD’s website you can’t seriously give a crap about women. All I did was leave a single comment which I do not feel was mean, aggressive or trolling in any way. I had not read the comments on this site before, though I have read many posts (probably 30 or so), so maybe I was unaware of certain things that had been addressed in posts or comments I did not see. Attacks are still unwarranted. I had never seen anyone address his male privilege including himself so I brought it up. And the way I brought it up was not offensive.

I have the right to be offended by Cats Against Feminism and had anyone asked why instead of attacking me and arguing against stupid assumptions they made up in their own minds, I would have been happy to explain the nuances of why it does. But apparently all we care about on this site is defending the white male god of feminism against all who dare to approach him with even moderate criticism.

Lastly I don’t give a crap if you believe me or not but you all genuinely attacked a woman of color to defend this white guy in the name of feminism. You may not have known that because I am anonymous, but you still did. You accused me of being male, an MRA and a troll for leaving what I would call a moderate critique. I never expected this site to be like this and I thought this was a relatively safe place to leave a comment. That is apparently not true and you are all actually trash. I am shocked my comment was approved to be published if it was really going to cause this much of a row, and now I have to suspect that he published it for the purpose of getting commenters to attack me. I would have preferred it not be published if I was just going to be attacked.

Of all people, women should be allowed to comment anonymously on the web. The idea that I would be assumed to be a man unless I prove otherwise is already an issue and sexist in and of itself. It’s often not safe for women to leave comments online with her real name or pic. It’s honestly screwed up to assume I am a man because I made that comment. I’m not acting like an MRA or a troll so what the hell is wrong with you people? And the attacks on my screenname, which I made up because I needed a throwaway WP account to work on a project, are baffling. It’s a screenname. Get the hell over it.

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