So @benschoen, the putatively feminist co-founder of feminspire and the former co-host of a popular Harry Potter podcast, is having a bit of a meltdown on Twitter at the moment.
Well, more than a bit of a meltdown. He’s flying apart like the washing machine in the video above, announcing and quickly canceling online “press conferences,” lashing out at critics with bizarre “jokes” and weird threats, and generally acting like a giant ass.
For example:
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633325425272451072
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633712589265088512
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715930883846144
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633468512250535940
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633461383309475840
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633422642805084162
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633398579042865154
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322695397142528
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633715165054267393
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382676746121216
In addition to joking about menstruation and comparing himself to woman-beating pro football player Ray Rice, he’s also made some super-funny jokes about committing suicide:
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633322086551953408
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633342393815842820
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633382587113820160
Oh, and for some reason he keeps mentioning Hitler.
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633716053026205696
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633397429820354560
https://twitter.com/benschoen/status/633390461143654400
The whole thing started yesterday when Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman posted screenshots of some Tweets and messages Schoen had sent her — first hitting on her in an exceedingly creepy manner and then reacting with fury and additional creepiness when she politely told him she had a boyfriend.
After Spelman posted her screenshots, other women came forward who said they’d had their own weird experiences with Schoen, including the co-founder of feminspire and a former writer for the site, both of whom evidently left the site because they couldn’t deal with Schoen’s creepy ass any more.
You can read more of the details over on NYmag.com, or on Jezebel, or on Spelman’s Twitter timeline. Or watch the continuing horrorshow live on Twitter.
Are there any lessons to be learned from all this? Why, yes, there are. Here are 8 Ways to Not Be a Male Feminist Creep, inspired by Schoen’s meltdown.
1) If you’ve never spoken to a woman before and the only reason she knows who you are is because she was a fan of a podcast you were on eight years ago, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond to a completely out-of-the-blue tweet to her.
2) And for god’s sake don’t try to force her to respond by going all stalkery on her.
3) And if she doesn’t respond to your stalkerish Tweets, don’t write her an even creepier Facebook message, I mean what the fuck were you even hoping to accomplish with this, dude?
4) And if she actually responds politely to all this creepiness and gently suggests you move on (see above), don’t send her a series of angry, insulting Tweets.
5) And then don’t write her a furious 1500 word diatribe that you don’t send, then write an, er, “apology” that you do send that starts off by mentioning the furious 1500 word diatribe you didn’t send.
6) When the woman you’ve thoroughly creeped out with all of this shit posts screenshots to Twitter, don’t dig your hole deeper with an endless stream of awful Tweets (see above).
7) And when your meltdown becomes so spectacular that it actually attracts press coverage, don’t send a message to one press outlet declaring that
I have done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights than any of the people who are criticizing me.
Because, dude, you haven’t.
And even if you had, it still wouldn’t justify any of this.
But, you know what, you don’t need to remember all of these rules if you can just remember the following:
8) If you send a message to a woman you’ve never spoken to before in your life and she doesn’t respond, just move the fuck on.
How hard is that?
A man, yes. A feminist, no. Not by a long shot.
There were rumors about Schoen pulling this on young Harry Potter fans when he was still in high school. With all the fake feminists vlogger/YouTube stars preying on underage fans it isn’t surprising he tried the same trick with feminspire. What a perfect cover. But I’m a feminist!
(Well, at least this may distract people from the other thread a bit perhaps maybe not at all it won’t.)
… Huh?
I’m so sick of seeing women have to deal with this type of attention. (I’ve been reading too much straighwhiteboystexting.tumblr) And when you respond in the best way possible, you still get harassed. Gross. Leave us alone.
Ben Schoen: king of the Nice Guys.
I’ve heard the expression “flame out” before, but I’ve never seen such a spectacular demonstration. Every last bridge is already burning, but this guy is still pouring gasoline on the fires.
Dude, eating crow is a lot easier than living in a world you set ablaze. You’re staring down the barrel of a future hanging out with MRAs and MGOTOWs. Any regular reader of this blog will tell you that’s NOT the way to go.
So. It seems we must add “Never tweet while drunk or high” to “Never post while drunk or high (or both).”
Also: “While drunk, high, or both, do not follow a post up with a tweet. Do not follow a post up with many tweets. It’s like chasing beer with wine. Bad idea.”
Rules for living…
Isn’t it amazing how quickly “allies” turn on us? If you’re only a feminist as long as women you think are pretty are flattering and deferential to you, you’re not a fucking feminist! If you’re support comes with the explicit or implicit threat that you’ll become abusive if we don’t make our bodies available to you, you. Are. Not. A. Feminist.
Also, what the fuck has this no talent assclown done to advance women’s rights? Does he think offering a job to a woman if she lets him sexually harass her is feminist? I’ve never even heard of this chuckle fuck until now!
Ugh. Sorry for the rantiness. This sort of thing really angers me.
I never even heard of this guy before now.
Would anyone like to place bets on how long it takes for migtaos and emrays to paint that raving jackass as the poster boy for male feminists?
He was a twerp in his Harry Potter days too. Rumor has it he took sexual advantage of underage girls at the conventions; was a jerk to the mugglecast cohost about her weight. He is a perfect fit for the mras, anyway. Emma Watson ignored him at a party. He failed to get her attention too. They will have bitching about her in common too.
The levels of entitlement wafting off this guy are astounding. She already gave him an explanation, though she owed him NONE. And it’s not good enough, he figures he’s deserving of the “real” explanation. Sick.
What is it with male feminists having very public meltdowns? At least Hugo Schwyzer’s meltdown was an apology for being a fraud and an asshole. http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisonvingiano/why-did-controversial-feminist-hugo-schwyzer-have-a-twitter#.trz91GwA2A
Yeahhh, no idea who this guy is. But he reminds me of some of the guy ‘friends’ I’ve had in the past who had no problems creepily hitting on me/all the other women around them.
The introductory video may be the single best video I’ve ever seen (well, the single best video not including animals, for sure).
anon, either that or they’ll embrace him as a bold truth-teller.
That tweet of his about chuck johnson wasn’t actually a joke. He just did a live interview with johnson — who treated him as a bold truth-teller — and dug his hole deeper and deeper. He’s astoundingly narcissistic.
@David Futrelle Maybe he’s running for Mr. Nice Guy 2015.
http://media.giphy.com/media/9wZMlnM0R06l2/giphy.gif
Ah, “male feminists”, such fair-weather allies. As long as we’re patting them on the head and telling them they’re not like those other men, they’re content to be “feminists” and do the bare-minimum of what it takes to be a decent human being.
But the moment we stop lavishing them with attention and the moment we tell them “I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend, please stop hitting on me.”, they turn into every other asshole douchebro we’ve ever faced ever. “Why did you really turn me down?! Why did you hurt my feelings?! You’re a hack and your work is garbage! But I’ve done more for feminism and women’s rights than you’ve ever done, you bitch! Are you on your period?!”
And men wonder why I don’t like men calling themselves “feminists”. I’m just going to throw this right on the pile of examples, right on top of Eron Gjoni, who also harassed the fuck out of women and was a shitty human being while claiming to be a feminist.
(For the record, I find that when a man who calls himself a feminist is confronted with the idea that some women aren’t comfortable with him calling himself such, and this example would surely explain why, he has two options: Double down and insist that he be allowed to call himself a feminist, which means that he doesn’t give two flying fucks about feminism, he just wants cookies, or, he understands and calls himself a feminist ally instead, and that means he understands that feminism isn’t about him and his ego, and understands that he has to work at making sure women feel comfortable in his presence.)
An extra-creepy factor in this is that they first met (online) when she was 14. I get the strong vibe from the way he’s acting that he’s been waiting the whole time for her to be ‘legal’ before overtly hitting on her.
I just… no. The fucking sense of entitlement shown by these weiners. I think most women experience this online, sadly. I know I’ve experienced it a lot of times.
You shut their advances down politely -they freak out at you, get abusive.
You ignore their messages – they freak out at how rude you are for ignoring them in all their majestic glory.
You chat to them but try to steer the conversation to a more platonic subject – you’re leading them on.
There is literally no right way to respond to them unless it’s instantly worshipping their super duper amazing penis.
And I have a message for Mr. Twittermeltdown:
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1nioqjjsb1qbe0gto1_400.gif
I was also reminded of Hugo Schwyzer. Maybe someone could lock him and Schoen in a room together?
Personally, I don’t care if men call themselves feminists, feminist allies, or any other variation. I care what they DO about it.
@ParadoxicalIntention: “And men wonder why I don’t like men calling themselves “feminists”.”
THIS. This is the exact reason why I don’t call myself a (male) feminist. I’ve seen way too many “male feminists”* pull bullshit like this. For men, I feel that it’s a title that we don’t get to give ourselves, but one that must be bestowed upon us.
* Remember that turd who had the Jezebel gig? Ick.