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Yeastward ho! A Voice for Men heads in a radically yeasty new direction

avfmyeasty

Yes, that’s right: the top “featured article” on A Voice for Men today is titled:

Unique yeast evolutionary events made lager beer history

The post in question — reprinted from examiner.com — is an example of the bold new direction for AVFM that site founder and chief tantrum-thrower Paul Elam announced proudly a little over a month ago, and which, he explained, was proof of AVFM’s great success in “chang[ing] the public narrative about sexual politics.”

AVFM has apparently done such a great job of this whole narrative-changing thing that the site is now able to just reprint random articles about crap from examiner.com and declare them to somehow have something to do with men’s issues and men’s interests. I mean, it’s not like AVFM is desperately casting about to gain additional traffic without doing any actual work or anything like that.

This post about yeast raises the bar even further. Having succeeded so completely at changing the discourse for human men, AVFM can now begin to change the discourse for YEAST MEN as well.

Presumably AVFM will soon be announcing its new name: A Voice for Yeasty Men.

Might I suggest a slogan? YEAST RISING!

Or maybe THE SON RISES IN THE YEAST!

I got a million of them, Paul. Call me!

 

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katz
katz
5 years ago

He’s tapping into a new market.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

And if they keep lifting, someday they might have six-packs.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Paul’s trying to work them into a froth.

He’s gone barmy.

And if they keep lifting, someday they might have six-packs.

Nah. Just Molson muscle.

(It’s all those 12-ounce bicep curls, don’tcha know?)

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Molson muscle – love it! I knew I could count on you guys to leaven the proceedings.

OT, have you heard about the guy posing as a Target customer support rep who trolled the FB pages of people outraged by their new policy of no longer labelling girls’ and boys’ toys separately? His responses are liquid-gold-snortingly hilarious.

http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/man-poses-target-facebook-trolls-haters-its-gender-neutral-move-epic-replies-166364

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Molson muscle – love it! I knew I could count on you guys to leaven the proceedings.

Just a leaven in the lump, to keep things bubbling along…

And yeah, Target Troll Guy was great. His Facebook page is full of screencaps showing the actual identities of the people he trolled, too. My fave was “Allahu Akbar”.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Weiss are the red pillers mad? Because American women are too stout!

Sissy
Sissy
5 years ago

…I still haven’t gotten my “Politically Correct Bingo” card full on the Target stuff. *checks card*

PC, that’s the free space. Yeah. Um… “liberals”, um… transphobia…

Anyone wanna make a bingo card of this if they have the time?

(BTW, my somewhat crass self laughed at the “gently insert your opinion into your behind” response.)

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Poor widdle oppwessed menz. I think I’ll dedicate a song to them:

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Reminded me of the Yeastie Boys and their hit, “Candida”.

Regarding the flavor of hopped beer, beer can also be made with bittering herbs other than hops – e.g., marsh rosemary, yarrow. I made some gruit ale back in my homebrewing days; it doesn’t last as long as hopped beer, but tastes more floral. I also made cider and mead.

dslucia1
dslucia1
5 years ago

To be super srs about beer because I’m bad at puns or being funny, I’ve found that I’m particularly fond of wheat ales, with witbier rising above everything else. Pale ale is too bitter for me to regularly enjoy, I don’t have much interest in lagers (I like Sam Adams, I suppose, but it’s a little bland), the only stout I’ve had is Guinness (I liked that, too), etc.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

And then there’s this poem, which celebrates beer-soaked masculinity in all its true glory:

Why, if ’tis dancing you would be,
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world’s not.
And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:
The mischief is that ’twill not last.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where,
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I’ve lain,
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew.

I highly recommend the whole thing; it’s both satirical and philosophical. I practically have all of A Shropshire Lad memorized.

GardenGallivant
GardenGallivant
5 years ago

I’ve always like the idea that the desire to drink beer was the root of agriculture, hence modern civilization. As an ancient Mesopotamian poem teaches how women brewed beer and African rock carvings show women harvesting grain it seems well documented that women were at the heart of brewing craft and agricultural developments .

Alewives brewed for home use and shared or sold what the household could not use before it went off, before hopping extended the shelf life. Farms and villages would always have beer or cider as water was not always safe to drink. This again put women at the center as they could do this from home just as they could weaving and other necessary crafts.
Ale was a woman’s craft in medieval England. The book Ale, Beer and Brewsters in England: Women’s Work in a Changing World, 1300–1600 by J. Bennett is a good read.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

I think we need the “how to overcook chicken breast” guy to give us some tips on brewing at home.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

What’s wrong with liking chicken close to burnt and steak butterflied so it’s really totally and very well done? That sort of thing is just trampling over people’s right to eat burnt poultry and steak! What’s next, telling them they can’t reheat leftovers in the microwave to the proper and desired temperature of “food is exploding – better have a lid or like to clean the microwave”!

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

AT LAST!! That site has an article I can really get behind. When I went to Brussels, tagging along on a business trip, we’d already checked out, I hadn’t brought a decent overcoat and the only museum that was open on a wet winter Monday was the tiny Beer Museum. I watched every film. Read every descriptor. Alongside displays on process and bottling, they had displays on the key ingredients: water, grain and hops, but yeast – a truly magic ingredient, was missing from the coverage. It seemed very curious. Too curious. I’m glad AVFM is working to redress the imbalance.

Sofa King
Sofa King
5 years ago

Yeast is a perfectly viable comparison to whatever is being referenced above. If a banana has 50% the DNA a human does, why couldn’t yeast be used to prove statistical probability? Seems reasonable.

Road to Servitude
5 years ago

For people who claim to be ideological ‘hipsters’ who break the mould, why do Male Rage Assholes actually admit to liking beer? I’m surprised by that, would’ve thought beer wasn’t ‘edgy’ enough for those people. They don’t even have the courage of their tinpot bohemianism…. >_______< Maybe consistency is too much to ask for, from immature jerks who 'hate' ALL identity politics… as long as it's not THAT kind of identity politics.

Hm. Looks like 'going their own way' means being totally conformist. Whoda thought…

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

We need some vegemite jokes up in here.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@Road to Servitude:
“Identity Politics” is a right-wing American term of art. It means “disadvantaged groups voting in such a way as to end their own disadvantage (instead of just living in denial about their disadvantage like we do.)” It has nothing to do with what you or I might consider to be actual identity politics.

So actual identity politics are fine when they do them; but when black people start mentioning that they’re black, or women start mentioning that they’re women, then this is bad and they should be told to stop it and go back to pretending to be white men. You know, actual people.

ljy2008
5 years ago

How about:

‘Yeast Infections’

After all, these pricks have infected the internet with their incomprehensible bullshit.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Kootiepatra | August 15, 2015 at 1:13 am
I think we need the “how to overcook chicken breast” guy to give us some tips on brewing at home.

And have him risk blowing all his would-be homebrewers lighting themselves aflame on all the inflammable beer? No thanks.

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

Lolz! I wish I could bake up a yeast pun as good as you guys, but mine tend to fall flat. I must be using the wrong flour. ^^;

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

And yeah, Target Troll Guy was great. His Facebook page is full of screencaps showing the actual identities of the people he trolled, too. My fave was “Allahu Akbar”.

That one made me laugh so loud it startled the cat. I also like the guy who has 2 “boys” and 1 “girl”. Scare quotes, what are they?

Paul Elam must not have read that beer article very carefully, because the lead scientist who discovered the yeasty evolutionary breakthrough was (gasp!) a woman. I thought women couldn’t STEM?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I also like the guy who has 2 “boys” and 1 “girl”. Scare quotes, what are they?

“Scare quotes” are for “people” who are afraid they’ll forget “their” children’s “gender”!

Paul Elam must not have read that beer article very carefully, because the lead scientist who discovered the yeasty evolutionary breakthrough was (gasp!) a woman. I thought women couldn’t STEM?

For guys who always claim to be Going Their Own Way, they sure never seem to get far without us. Hell, they couldn’t knee-walk home from the pub without the help of our agriculture and our beer!

pecunium
5 years ago

I like me some Houseman: and that poem from A Shropshire Lad is one of my faves. It’s why I stare into various abysses (inc. the Manoshpere).

Re Elam/AVfM, if they think this will poolish their image, and raise their reputation, well the proof is in the pudding.

A.A. Wils
5 years ago

My yeast puns rarely rise to such an occasion. My budding career in comedy has produced a product that is so spore.

(I’ll see myself out)

Road to Servitude
5 years ago

You are right EJ, this is my point. As you say, reactionaries claim to be against ‘identity politics,’ but it all depends on whose and whose is in question. They condemn feminism, but support MRM. They oppose racial equality, and then turn around and support David Duke or other white supremacists. This is a ridiculous contradiction, and I think these bigots are well aware not only of the bad ethical character of their views, but also of the logical flaws. I sometimes wonder whether the term ‘identity politics’ has become so tainted by people using it as a slur, that maybe there are also alternative names for it that aren’t tainted? I don’t really know. Then again, I guess there doesn’t have do be one single word for everything, though (otherwise that tends to mean a forced consensus, which isn’t good either)…

Road to Servitude
5 years ago
Reply to  Bina

They are really unique in their capacity to be jerks, so maybe they should call themselves MBJOOW (Men Being Jerks Our Own Way). They really are in a class of their own.

Road to Servitude
5 years ago

*Whose politics and whose identity, I meant.

Rino
5 years ago

Funny– since mitochondrial DNA is passed down through the mother. Yeast doesn’t have a need for a ‘father’– maybe they should protest that?