Last Saturday, police say, a 48-year-old Houston man named David Conley climbed in a window of the house where his ex-girlfriend lived with her husband and six kids. Using rope, and handcuffs he’d bought a few days earlier, he restrained the entire family. He then shot them all, one by one, starting with his ex-girlfriend’s husband, and ending with her.
Police took Conley into custody after an hour-long standoff.
Why hasn’t this horrific case of mass murder gotten the media attention that other mass shootings have gotten? Possibly because seven of the eight victims were black.
And possibly because, well, cases of men murdering their families are so common that they barely make the national news any more — even when the men in question kill more people than many much-better known mass murderers.
Someone shooting random people in a theater or a mall — that’s news. Men killing their exes and their children? That’s just part of the background noise.
Conley has reportedly confessed to everything, telling police in detail how he planned and carried out the eight murders. He has a long history of violence, having served five years in jail for a previous attack on his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Valerie Jackson.
In a series of jailhouse interviews, he’s been a bit more cagey on the question of guilt. But he’s been a lot less shy in discussing the motives for the murders he won’t publicly admit to.
He seems to have murdered eight people because Valerie wasn’t raising her children the way he wanted them raised. (Never mind that he was an on-again, off-again father as well as an on-again, off-again boyfriend, and that only one of the six children was his.)
And he was angry at her for “cheating” on him — with her husband.
The children “were growing up to be monsters, they were disrespectful,” Conley complained to one local TV reporter. “I’m not saying they’re dead because of that. I’m not even saying I killed them.”
“The Bible says, ‘Thou shall respect your mother and father or your days shall be short,” he told the Houston Chronicle. “I’m not God, but you know, then, I’m the man of the house.”
Let that sink in for a second:
“I’m not God, but you know, then, I’m the man of the house.”
At the time of the murders, of course, Valerie’s husband, Dwayne Jackson, was the “man of the house.” But Conley felt that Dwayne, the father of five of the six children, was somehow usurping his own rightful authority.
“He tried to pimp out over me and take everything, rule over my house.” he complained to one local TV reporter. “How would you feel?”
But it seems pretty clear that his most virulent anger was aimed at Valerie. He blamed the alleged bad behavior of the children — particularly his son Nate — on her.
“Nate didn’t give me any respect because of what his mother was doing to me,” he told the TV reporter. “She was cheating on me.”
Conley apparently made her pay for this “disrespect,” killing her last, after forcing her to witness the murder of her husband and her six children.
Yet he seems to think he’s the victim here — disrespected by his children, his authority as “man of the house” usurped by another man, and “cheated” on by a woman he had previously beaten and repeatedly left. When he asked a reporter “how would you feel,” he apparently assumed the reporter would feel some sympathy for him.
This is toxic masculinity at its worst.
Wow. I frequently hear MRAs complaining about the Duluth Model of domestic violence, but this is one example of why understanding how male privilege/entitlement leads to violence is so necessary. What a devastating tragedy, that happens shockingly often.
This is too horrifying for words. Thank you, David, for bringing it to everyone’s attention. It’s important not to overlook the dangers of toxic masculinity
If you will excuse me, I going to puke my guts out after I scream in rage and sadness for the victims.
WHY DOES THIS BULLSHIT KEEPS HAPPENING? WHY?
I’ve been avoiding reading about this story because it’s unbearable to comprehend the suffering and anguish of that family. It reminded me of the man last year who tied up and shot a family of five because the mother was the sister of his estranged wife (he couldn’t get to her so he targeted them), at least in that instance one child survived.
I do wonder if race comes into the reporting? His being black doesn’t fit the common trope, usually it’s angry white men who wipe out families.
I recently had a run in with an MRA who was claiming the Duluth Model helped to ruin his life, needless to say he was TOTALLY innocent of all charges brought against him. I’d have more time for MRAs if they concentrated more on helping male victims of violence and less time defending the perpetrators.
> He has a long history of violence, having served five years in jail for a previous attack on his on-again-off-again girlfriend,
Totally don’t have a gun problem in the US, though! Domestic abusers got the same right deadly weapons everyone else does!
Rosemary- Any legal model of anything that recognizes men as dangerous entitled privileged abusers is shocking for people to take no matter what the stats are, the personal accounts, the dead body count, slavery count, doesn’t matter.
Some men are exasperated that such a thing as an Ex Parte protective order exists, because it suspends their constitutional rights temporarily (arguable). Well these laws and means are only in place because of the dead body count, because of what horrible MEN have done. The “bias” in the system is a recognition of facts, not feminists.
Actually Cole, those with convictions of domestic violence are not supposed to have fire arms. Just fyi.
@indifferentsky: Okay, maybe I was a little mistaken, but per wikipedia “In Texas a convicted felon may possess a firearm in the residence in which he lives once five years have elapsed from his release from prison or parole, whichever is later.”
Besides which, they only do background checks when issuing carry licenses.
Yeah that stinks. The DV law is federal and state though but when there are guns everywhere… I don’t think it’s that hard to get one. The laws are in place but the genie is out of the bottle. 🙁
I have personally known three different people from different families whose father killed their mother when they were children. One just left her slumping in a chair, dead, while his 8 y/o triplets were asleep. He left her for the kids to find in the morning. I’m right now in a situation where I am terrified to date anyone because I think my ex would try to kill them – or me.
That may be true, but it obviously didn’t stop this guy from getting a hold of one.
Kind of reminds me of this tweet I saw:
https://twitter.com/blunderingidiom/status/628469905038438401
And yet, MRAs think it’s misandry for women to be afraid of men.
A woman’s chances of getting killed or attacked by a man are MUCH higher than being attacked by a shark, but being afraid of sharks is normal while being afraid of men is considered to be “reverse sexism”.
I’m so fucking angry right now. I’m gonna go play Minecraft and just…try to forget.
Oh no, do you have a violent ex? I hope you’re safely away from them.
This is so awful. I’m surprised they caught him alive.
@Rosemary, snork, et al:
The Duluth Model of domestic violence = how feminism destroyed American families, in MRA’s eyes. It took normal masculine behaviors and labeled them as abusive, planting the idea in women’s mind that their manly husbands, who only had their best interest in mind, were abusing them. And women, who are herd- and hamster-driven mindless bots, bought into that destructive idea, as they are wont to do.
In MRA’s eyes, what Conley did is a natural consequence of good men being ripped away from their families and rendered helpless as husbands and fathers — i.e., rightful family owners — by the evil forces of feminism and progressivism in general, and evil women following their gina tingles in particular.
If only Valerie submitted to Conley’s headship, instead of rebelling against it and pursuing her sexual pleasure (read: an opportunity for a safe and happy life for herself and her kids, for a change — but never mind small distinctions), he would not have been forced to assert his rights in this way. Ergo, her fault. It is always HER fault, in MRA and their ilk’s eyes.
@Paradoxical Intention:
Great point.
Near tears reading this. My thoughts and prayers are with the family of the victims and the victims themselves. The man who did this deserves to spend the rest of his life locked away in prison where he hopefully won’t hurt another living soul.
It really makes me sick that some people bend over backwards to make this t he woman’s fault.
I’m not really. We have kids together. He hasn’t been violent since I left seven years ago, but some men seem to think that once you have a child with them, you can never be with any other man.
‘A woman’s chances of getting killed or attacked by a man are MUCH higher than being attacked by a shark, but being afraid of sharks is normal while being afraid of men is considered to be “reverse sexism”.’
OK, yeah, but your chances of being killed crossing the road or driving a car are also much higher and we don’t (mostly) live in fear of those things, either. For example, US women who die aged 20-24 are about 5 times more likely to been killed by an ‘unintentional injury’ than to be murdered. That stat must include road traffic accidents, though also presumably shark attacks.
We get used to dangers we live with, because we have to. We exaggerate certain risks like terrorism (in the West) or sharks, which are non-zero, really low, but big in our imaginations.
This, this makes me sick. Fuck! What is wrong with this world? Fuck!
@rugbyyogi
There’s obviously certain acceptable risks to our safety that we must deal with to participate in society. But I’m not sure what your point is to compare those with a woman’s chance of being murdered which really should never be an acceptable risk. And even where there is higher risk of bodily harm, like driving a car or walking across the street, as a society we do a lot of things to minimize those risks to ourselves and others, but when it comes to women being murdered by their ex or current partners we seem to think there is nothing we can do to minimize that.
That’s horrible news.
I was just listening to part of a radio program yesterday where they were talking about family violence and shelters. They cited some depressing info that among domestic violence murders, many women (specifically) are killed by their partners after they leave. One of the speakers said she didn’t want to discourage people from leaving abusive relationships, but to make sure they do so as safely as they can.
But there isn’t always that safety available. Other callers noted that shelters can be harder to find for transwomen, people who have disabilities, and people who have children with them (I suppose also for people who are ethnic minorities or who don’t speak the dominant language, but they didn’t mention that).
@logrey – I’m so sorry about that and I’m glad you’re in a safer place. The idea that people can “own” others or be entitled to them needs to stop.
If he was in fucking jail for assaulting his girlfriend this wouldn’t have happened.
WRT why there’s little coverage of it, is Conley black? In addition to the reasons Dave said, the media isn’t interested in so called “black on black violence.” It doesn’t sell as well.