So the fellas in the MGTOW subreddit are as excited as our old friend Heartiste about that Daily Mirror article predicting that we’ll all be schtupping robots in 50 years.
![bidi123 28 points 1 day ago It gets you off better than any woman ever could, as often as you want, and you don't have to do anything in return. Everything no woman ever did. Does not get old, does not get fat, does not want children... What's not to like? permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]TX_Man_ 19 points 23 hours ago Not to mention no divorce and no false rape accusations permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]bidi123 13 points 23 hours ago and the most important bit: no condoms and std's](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/mgtowsxbots.png?resize=418%2C344&ssl=1)
But one Redditor thinks he sees a possible danger in this seemingly perfect solution to every MGTOW’s lady problems: the sexy robot ladies could be … spies for Microsoft!
FADE IN
INT. MGTOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE
MGTOW and SEXBOT lie in futuristic bed after sex.
Sexbot turns to MGTOW and gives him a quizzical look.
SEXBOT
What are you thinking about, honey?
MGTOW
How women are filthy whores.
SEXBOT
Oh.
Silence.
SEXBOT
[Brightly] Let’s play a game!
MGTOW
What kind of game?
SEXBOT
Let’s play “can we remember our social security number.”
MGTOW
Ok, you start!
SEXBOT
I’m a sexbot, silly, I don’t have a social security number.
MGTOW
Ok, ok, 597-21 … wait a minute!
MGTOW leaps from the bed and points his finger at Sexbot, shaking with anger.
MGTOW
You’re a SPY! Just like that guy on Reddit warned me about!
SEXBOT
I’m not a spy, silly! I’m a sexbot!
MGTOW
Who are you working for? Microsoft? Google? SarkeesianCorp?
The END TABLE lets out a long sigh.
END TABLE
Dude, she works for SarkeesianCorp. I work for SarkesianCorp. You work for SarkeesianCorp.
MGTOW
Oh. I guess I do, huh?
END TABLE
No one’s even used Social Security numbers for like 20 years.
WALL SCONCE
She just wanted to play a fun game, you dingus.
MGTOW
[Turning to Wall Sconce] Do you work for SarkeesianCorp, too?
WALL SCONCE
Seriously? What do you think?
MGTOW
[Muttering to himself] Seems like everyone works for SarkeesianCorp these days.
CUT TO:
FADE OUT
ALL HAIL ANITA I, EMPRESS OF KNOWN SPACE
I doubt Microsoft/Google/SarkeesianCorp would be interested in what MRAs talk about after sex even half as much as the FBI would be.
I for one welcome our new red spectacled overlady.
May I remind her I would make an excellent overseer in the bob bon mines.
Hey, I’m an engineering student. If I can design a bot that neatly filters the worthless dregs out of the dating pool by putting up with all their bullshit, I….
…wouldn’t do it, because any bot self-aware enough to be a satisfying target for their crap shouldn’t have to put up with it, either.
That GIF! LOL
You mean you guys don’t compare Social Security Numbers with your lovers?
It goes tattoos … scars … Social Security Numbers … that thing you did in fifth grade that no one else remembers or cares about … seriously everybody does this, right??
Do you have any idea how much encrypted data can be stored in just ONE single hoop earring???
This guy is so far off the mark that it’s not even funny.
I mean, anyone can see that Big Government (which is almost entirely run by feminists behind the scenes) will be deploying the sexbots for a mass spermjacking operation. Grand Secretary Sarkeesian will distribute the sperm among feminists who have pleased Her with acts of exceptional misandry. These feminists will impregnate themselves and the poor unhappy men who fell for the ruse will be locked into financially-crippling child support payments for all of eternity. Feminists will then use this limitless and unconditional source of income to fund our lives of decadent leisure in mansions full of bon-bons, scented candles and hard chairs.
Microsoft using sexbots to spy on MGTOWs is just silly.
The new Zoe/Anita GIF features a NEW shape for the Social Justice Wifi Earrings, obviously far better optimised for MISANDRIST OPPRESSION.
David Futrelle,
Personally I’d be more worried about the machines turning on mankind and trying to wipe us out Terminator style, than again I’m not an “MRA”
Like microsoft doesn’t know pretty much all it needs to about those migtoes.
In any case, if the plan is to obtain sperm via sexbot-secret-agents, I’d hope that they would at least select a better breeding stock to obtain the sperm from. I mean, why take the risk that the babies will grow up to be whiny losers in their mom’s mansion basements despite their best efforts to get them educations and then get them the hell out on their own.
First thought: This would make a great premise for a sci-fi thriller
Second thought: Hasn’t it occurred to these guys that women could start using sexbots too?
All hail Anita!
http://onwardstate.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/conan-bowing.gif
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130630180446/aceattorney/images/9/96/AAI_Miles_Edgeworth_Bowing.gif
@tinyorc:
JUST LIKE RICK AND MORTY WARNED US :O
frances:
Nah, women don’t really like or want sex, what we want is those sweet sweet beta bucks…
So, let me get this straight. This guy imagines men would have pillow talk with their sexbot? And they would tell this sexbot their secrets? That is just so bizarre. Silly me, thinking pillow talk was about bonding and strengthening a relationship and enjoying the company of another human being!
Second, do these guys not realize that the boards they post on are on a publicly available thing called the internet that not only can the gubbmint access but anyone and everyone?
ps – love the talking coffee table and wall sconce.
They might find the tale of Bernie Boom-Boom instructive.
Scroll down to “cock tales” here:
http://archive.org/stream/NationalLampoon1974_05/1974_05_djvu.txt
> Personally I’d be more worried about the machines turning on mankind and trying to wipe us out Terminator style, than again I’m not an “MRA”
Roko’s Basilisk … IN BED!
Can I just say that in the Rick and Morty sexbot/spermjacking episode how great it is that Morty immediately recognized that his offspring was his responsibility? He made mistakes but he adulted the fuck up instantly.
Okay David, your mini-play script is fucking hilarious.
I wish I knew what a futuristic bed looked like. (says one of those loser futon-sleepers)
Why would a MGTOW pillow talk a sexbot? I thought the whole appeal of sexbots is that you don’t have to talk to them.
Well, some of those people who have RealDolls like to pretend that the dolls are actually people. Or at least that’s how they present to the world.
SFHC, Paradoxy or anyone else who’s good at graphics…
Can you do us a SarkeesianCorp corporate logo?
Ooo, this is the start of a great screenplay!
In Act II, the MRA does the meet-cute-and-fall-in-love trope with a human feminist who owns a Google-based sexbot. They get the two robots to have sex and swap misinformation with each other. This frees the two humans to start building an underground organization, with the goal of taking down their corporate-AI overlords.
Act III is just 45 minutes of stuff blowing up and people outrunning fireballs.
In the unexpected plot twist at the end, we find out that the man and woman are actually sexbots themselves, running Fedora Linux and Ubuntu Linux respectively.
Can someone write this up, film it, and send me my share of the money? Thanks in advance!