
So the fellas in the MGTOW subreddit are as excited as our old friend Heartiste about that Daily Mirror article predicting that we’ll all be schtupping robots in 50 years.
But one Redditor thinks he sees a possible danger in this seemingly perfect solution to every MGTOW’s lady problems: the sexy robot ladies could be … spies for Microsoft!
FADE IN
INT. MGTOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE
MGTOW and SEXBOT lie in futuristic bed after sex.
Sexbot turns to MGTOW and gives him a quizzical look.
SEXBOT
What are you thinking about, honey?
MGTOW
How women are filthy whores.
SEXBOT
Oh.
Silence.
SEXBOT
[Brightly] Let’s play a game!
MGTOW
What kind of game?
SEXBOT
Let’s play “can we remember our social security number.”
MGTOW
Ok, you start!
SEXBOT
I’m a sexbot, silly, I don’t have a social security number.
MGTOW
Ok, ok, 597-21 … wait a minute!
MGTOW leaps from the bed and points his finger at Sexbot, shaking with anger.
MGTOW
You’re a SPY! Just like that guy on Reddit warned me about!
SEXBOT
I’m not a spy, silly! I’m a sexbot!
MGTOW
Who are you working for? Microsoft? Google? SarkeesianCorp?
The END TABLE lets out a long sigh.
END TABLE
Dude, she works for SarkeesianCorp. I work for SarkesianCorp. You work for SarkeesianCorp.
MGTOW
Oh. I guess I do, huh?
END TABLE
No one’s even used Social Security numbers for like 20 years.
WALL SCONCE
She just wanted to play a fun game, you dingus.
MGTOW
[Turning to Wall Sconce] Do you work for SarkeesianCorp, too?
WALL SCONCE
Seriously? What do you think?
MGTOW
[Muttering to himself] Seems like everyone works for SarkeesianCorp these days.
CUT TO:
FADE OUT
D’aw, you guys think my name is cute.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/oh-god-what-have-i-done.gif
You silly weirdoes. Anonymous was right about one thing, bless they’re trolling soul.
(Not really the blessing part.)
“emo kid” — lmao
This coming from the ugly duckling who once raged at length on these very pages about how wounded she was (and obviously still is) from getting rejected by the popular boys in highschool. 😀
It’s difficult to overstate how vigorously you must have labored to type that string of characters with a straight face. I MEAN I JUST SERIOUSLY CAN’T EVEN.
For all the talk around here about lack of conservative self-awareness, you dorks are a fascinating case study of your own.
anonymous: You know, some of us have grown up and matured since high school. Something you can look forward to, I’m sure.
Kevin, is that you?
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/edwikia/images/7/7c/Dorks.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100909093300
(Seriously, you can do better than insults that haven’t been effective since the 90s.)
Aw, embed mammoth why?
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/edwikia/images/7/7c/Dorks.jpg
artsmyth: I’m sure. I’ll bet whichever sensitive ninny made words like “crazy” verboten around here is looking forward to it too.
@anonymous
http://36.media.tumblr.com/362baadda830f684acdec7b2d1509fe8/tumblr_nqwbq0N1bU1rmx2n0o1_500.jpg
anonymous: As you seem to be of the right age for it, you can always make your own clubhouse where you and all your chums can gather, even hang a “no gurlz aloud” on the door, and say all the words mean ol’ adults don’t like you saying in polite company, giggling at how naughty you are.
Oh noes! Here I was guarding against the fat and ugly insult. Little did I know this mastermind of insults would come up with “dorks!” Oh anonymous, you slay me with your words. What a rapscallian!
You know, it’s been a while since Bina talked about high school. Either anonymous has been creepily lurking for many weeks, or he slipped up and admitted to socking.
“Either anonymous has been creepily lurking for many weeks”
lmao — this Dunning-Kruger effect casualty reflects ineptly on the triteness of insults and fires back with the most hackneyed bromide of her own.
I’ll let you get cracking on that case. Ya gotta earn dem unemployment bucks somehow.
Double fail.
You don’t know what the Dunning-Kruger actually is. I didn’t vastly overestimate my competence. I made an observation that it’s fishy that you remember biographical details about Bina when your first post was yesterday.
Also, I’m not unemployed. When you get old for a job, you’ll discover that to get unemployment benefits, you must be unemployed. Or occasionally, underemployed.
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/17osq1pinzza9gif/k-bigpic.gif
Is there a game of “use as many words you don’t actually know the meaning of in one sentence” going on that I don’t know about?
“I didn’t vastly overestimate my competence.”
Oh but you do.
re: unemployment — I’ll defer to your expertise on the subject.
Goodbye for now, you mincing fa-ggots.
“Is there a game of “use as many words you don’t actually know the meaning of in one sentence” going on that I don’t know about?”
Telling. 😀
http://photos.vanityfair.com/2015/05/14/55550a44b80bcc99383a595e_lady-olenna-gif.gif
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/yok.gif
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/yawn1.gif
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/brng.gif
@anonymous
Don’t like that edge cut you on the way out.
I really hope MRA central brushes up its script.
“Broad insults, naughty words and vague implications” doesn’t offer much to work with. (To anon’s credit, dudle did try the stalker angle, I guess.)
So, not that this is relevant or anything, but when does school usually start in the US again?
Re: anonymous
Hmm, would a diagnosis of “Delusions of Adequacy” breach our ableism policy?
For someone who accused someone else of being a “try hard,” he sure is trying awfully hard. With little to show for it.
Beginning of September, usually.
Most people leave “I am rubber, you are glue” and “I know you are, but what am I” behind with recess and large-print primers…
Actually, some schools are starting back up about now. My mom is a teacher and her township started classes this week. My nephews start back next week. It does tend to vary by area though. Some places don’t start back until after Labor Day (first Monday in September).
My schools always started the day after Labor Day. My friend who went to Catholic school usually started back in late August. So it just depends.
I’m kind of surprised summer vacation is still a thing. Wasn’t it originally there so that farm kids could help their parents? No kid would ever want to hear this, but they could probably trim down summer break to 2-6 weeks. It would give them more time to learn and help out parents with childcare costs.
Frankly, I don’t know that many school districts could afford to do away with summer vacation. There’s been enormous economic pressure on many districts to trim days.
@kid who’s going to be grounded when his parents find out what he’s been doing
http://i.imgur.com/BqAnfGP.jpg
@WWTH
Trimming the summer break would actually really help. Students forget a lot when they are away from school for so long. Usually, the first few weeks of school are spent reteaching things that were taught in the previous year.
There are quite a few papers about this, but this paper reviewed data from multiple other studies and found that students lost about a month’s worth of learning over the summer.
http://rer.sagepub.com/content/66/3/227.short
I’m with isidore and WWTH.
http://i.imgur.com/w3Sib.png
@ej – growing up with the long summer holidays, I loved them and there are advantages re. summer jobs for older kids and teachers, etc. I now deal with the UK system which has a shorter summer break (but as a parent it feels long enough!!) and endless term and half-term breaks. I’m not sure they’re actually in school for any longer and I have more frequent occasions where I have to scramble for childcare and we end up having breaks during the dank, dark days of Feb and October and a long stretch over Christmas. There’s no perfect system!
…I wish school started later. I’m going to have a month and a half of 80+ hour work week heck when my school job starts up again at the U, but my summer job is still holding on for the end of summer.
Yep.
And colleges start later than primary and secondary.
It starts too soon.
“lmao — this Dunning-Kruger effect casualty reflects ineptly on the triteness of insults and fires back with the most hackneyed bromide of her own.”
That’s cute, like a parrot picking up some basics of human speech and using them for a long, passionate, and ultimately meaningless squawking session. Maybe someday he’ll learn to craft insults that can actually hurt someone’s feelings, or use “tongue-in-cheek” as something other than a retcon.
@ Carayak
If you ever get a parrot teach it to say “Help; a wizard turned me into a parrot!”
@rugbyyogi
You’re absolutely right. I was coming from the perspective of improving the learning process by not having to reteach things, but it can be difficult for working parents who have to find childcare during those breaks.
My mom still teaches at my elementary school, so we never had to worry about that when I was growing up. If we were off of school, so was she. While it was great for us, it’s not something everyone is able to do. I worked as a day camp counselor when I was in high school/college and there were definitely times when I felt like a glorified babysitter. You could tell that that kids didn’t want to be there, but the parents just needed somewhere for them to go during the day. It’s kind of sad when you think about it.
Did the troll ever actually try to say anything? Make any point about anything? I missed the beginning of this.
Nah the troll just tried to get at us with primary school insults. Which didn’t work because we’re all adults here, way past that stage. I’m pretty sure he/she was a lurker/sockpuppet, since they obviously didn’t bother to learn what Dunning-Kruger is and just picked up the term by reading our comments.
Which makes me then think that maybe anonymous actually IS an adult. >_>
@sunnysombrera:
Imagine if you will a primitive AI, unable to truly understand language but capable of digesting what people write, chopping it into pieces, and using it as its own statements in future. It sees a person accuse another of being “stupid”, so it stores that as a thing to call someone. Likewise, it stores “fa-ggot” and “Dunning-Kruger”, despite not having any knowledge of what they mean and so not able to deploy them appropriately.
Can we be sure that anonymous is not such an AI?
Now that silly primary-school troll is gone…
@David, your script is hilarious! I look forward to more adventures with End Table and Wall Sconce.
Oh my god, I can’t believe someone expects guys to have pillow talk with sexbots and reveal all their deepest secrets to them.
Wait but then it actually happened
They already know your secrets. No sex bots nessecary. I doubt 99% reddit users don’t bother to use a VPN…