Categories
evil fat fatties grandiosity heartiste irony alert misogyny reactionary bullshit red pill sexy robot ladies

PUA douchebag Heartiste: “A typical American fatty has no chance against a sexbot with a pretty face [and] a slender BMI.”

Sexbots: The early years
Sexbots: The early years

The success of the Channel 4 renegade-robot drama Humans — playing on AMC in the US — has gotten people talking again about what some see as the key question of our time:

Robots: How soon can we start having sex with them?

One of the more ardent cheerleaders of the coming “sexbotopia” is our old friend Heartiste, the floridly racist and woman-hating “pickup guru.” Weirdly, given his enthusiasm for the subject, he doesn’t seem all that interested in indulging in robot love himself. But he can’t stop chortling about the potential misery he thinks sexbots will cause for non-robot women.

Inspired by a recent Daily Mirror article predicting widespread human-robot sex by the year 2070, Heartiste pats himself on the back for being “the first warning about consequences from the coming sexbot revolution” — apparently he never saw The Stepford Wives — and declares that

sexbots present a real challenge to flesh and blood women and, ultimately, to the sustaining of civilization.

But Heartiste doesn’t seem terribly worried. Who needs civilization when you’ve got sexbots?

As Heartiste sees it, once the sexbots arrive the beta and omega males of the world, lacking the “game” necessary to charm manipulate attractive women into bed, will give up on real women and turn instead to sexbots. Fat chicks will be left in a sexless purgatory, and even the hottest of the HBs will have to work harder to gain the attention of alpha males, whom they will be forced to share with other women.

[I]n a sexbot saturated world, the pressure on women to look their very best for the few men left in the dating market who are still suitable mates will be immense. …

A typical American fatty with attitude to spare has no chance against a sexbot with a pretty face, a slender BMI, and a perfect hourglass shape.

A “slender BMI?” Apparently Heartiste, despite his obsession with the evils of fatness, doesn’t actually know how BMI works. I’m pretty sure robots, made mostly of metal, will end up weighing more than humans of similar shapes and sizes. So even a skinny robot will have the BMI of someone who is “morbidly obese.”

Heartiste being Heartiste, he ends his post with a racist sneer.

Prediction: The vast majority of sexbots produced for worldwide male consumption will be White women with a diverse palette of hair colors. Asian women sexbots will compete with Latin women sexbots for second place. I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader which race of women will be least represented among the ranks of assembly-line sexbots. Hint: Black male sexbots will probably outsell this last category.

Heartiste’s commenters aren’t quite as enthusiastic about the coming sexbot revolution as he is.

Someone calling himself shartiste — ick — isn’t convinced that sexbots will cause flesh-and-blood women to start genuflecting to men.

[A]nyone thinking this will make girls shape up better check themselves though. The entitlement complex is ridiculous, they will just whine and continue eating. Only if alpha males start using these things will girls take notice, but if they could make a sex doll that can take a mans attention away from a flesh and blood PYT, the human race is doomed to extinction anyhow.

Jack finds talk of sexbots boring.

I’m so lazy that I will probably buy a male sexbot to fuck my female sexbot, and he can listen to her robotic nagging and her honey-do list BS.

PA points out one potential, er, obstacle to the widespread acceptance of sexbots. Hint: It’s jizz.

I remain sceptical about sexbots becoming anything more than an expensive novelty but I’ll remain open-minded on the subject IF they’re designed got hassle-free jizz-cleanup.

King, meanwhile, raises an even more skin-crawlingly icky objection:

Man engages in sex to see his will made manifest on a female body. Woman engages in sex to be the cause of his deep satisfaction, the vessel for his will. If you are fucking/getting fucked by a toaster, you may get superficial release, but it isn’t the profound satiety of causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures.

A fellow named DavidTheGnome suggests that Heartiste and the rest are;t thinking radically enough about the possibilities:

I wonder how long it would be till the truly monstrous deviants begin building giant, anthropomorphic sex dolls. Eight foot tall, mutli-wanged charivari, four armed mortal combat type sheeva outworlders and armored centaur trannies walking down main street, arm in claw with beaming human wretches.

So? If someone wants to have sex with giant Pokemon robots, who cares?

Arbiter raises a much creepier possibility, asking

If there ever would be a sexbot industry, would it be allowed to make tween bots?

Greg Eliot, meanwhile, probably speaks for many Heartiste readers when he asks

Couldn’t we just mess with the brains of real women a bit and flip a few neurons into Stepford mode?

Because that’s what these guys really want.

EDIT: Added links

233 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
andiexist
andiexist
9 years ago

@Tim

Hey, since I bet you’re a lousy flouncer…

Why don’t you get off the computer? It’s got girl cooties all over it. You know, Ada Lovelace? The first programmer? 😉

I don’t know why you think us dykes care whether men find us attractive. *fabulous hair flip* I don’t care how good your liquid f**king gold is, you can keep it.

Now go stick your flounce, or we’ll sacrifice your tears to the Dark Lady Katie. She has four arms, five eyes, and a giant wrecking ball as her weapon.

Oh wait… that’s Sugilite.

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141111112757/steven-universe/images/7/73/SugilitebyJudgekoo.png

Easy mistake to make.

http://pre05.deviantart.net/5ada/th/pre/f/2015/082/4/c/steven_universe___sugilite_by_kelbremdusk-d8muo63.jpg

But you gotta admit…

http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2014/07/26/27-nicki-minaj-steven-universe.o.jpg/a_600x315.jpg

…she looks like she’d enjoy those tears.

http://img09.deviantart.net/ba59/i/2015/085/5/4/steven_universe_sugilite_by_philelmago-d8n7hj9.png

Of course, this wouldn’t be complete without Garnet, our favorite gay space rock relationship.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/8a05a589d69dad8fd177e199e7bdc22e/tumblr_nl4vz3h31X1tkhqtso4_250.gif

http://38.media.tumblr.com/7d1d264175c177e63347e9370537978c/tumblr_nl54x7AFD81up4talo1_540.gif

http://33.media.tumblr.com/3b43dfc84c5c4e9da97a6c6f261abcbf/tumblr_nl54x7AFD81up4talo3_540.gif

http://33.media.tumblr.com/194f87db56141c071f0e6f84f32d5a5e/tumblr_ngao58MxQK1u4728co2_400.gif

http://40.media.tumblr.com/cb4c194f3b9f757ffe63ccef491ea6ae/tumblr_nl4pq3b7z81qhwzkvo2_1280.jpg

(Okay, I admit it. This post was mainly an excuse to post Sugilite pictures. And Garnet too, of course)

berdache from a previous life

Really don’t understand their obsession with sexbots. We’re a long way from crossing the uncanny valley with robots, but not that far away from effective virtual reality.

VR would be cheaper and more effective, you could have dozens of scenarios, including those where virtual flesh would “transcended biological strictures”.

Would love it if these guys locked themselves inside an imaginary world and left this one alone.

Not only are the PUAs disgusting, but they’re also boring and unimaginative.

Nequam
Nequam
9 years ago

Apropos of nothing, I liked the owlet and the pussycat (kitten). I want to offer them mince and slices of quince with a runcible spoon.

As for the rest– I am trying to remember that napalm is not the answer to most of life’s little problems. NOT. HELPING.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

I think both the sexbot thing and the MGTOW thing are basically the same thing. They are based on the assumption that women cannot survive without being in a relationship with a man, and that if men pretend that they are no longer interested in women they will be able to force them back into regressive sex-and-housework relationships. They think they have all the bargaining power, but in fact they have almost no bargaining power as long as women are permitted to support themselves. The truth is that, in general, men need women more than women need men.
In other words, it’s a negotiating technique where these men have seriously overestimated the strength of their position.

andiexist
andiexist
9 years ago
Reply to  anonymous

@anonymous
comment image

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

andiexist | August 5, 2015 at 9:28 pm
Now go stick your flounce, or we’ll sacrifice your tears to the Dark Lady Katie. She has four arms, five eyes, and a giant wrecking ball as her weapon.

Oh wait… that’s Sugilite.

It doesn’t help that Sugilite is voiced by Nikki Minaj. It only makes the confusion worse.

andiexist
andiexist
9 years ago

@Paradoxial Intention

I know, right? It’s so easy to get them confused.

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

@Grumpy,

I was talking specifically about Heartiste and his readers. But I do think that there are non-redpill guys out there who would be opposed to sexbots for the reasons that you mentioned. There are certainly guys out there who aren’t engaging in conscious misogyny but who do still buy into toxic masculinity.

Bina
9 years ago

God gave women barely enough brain power to birth children and give a good blow job twice a year. Now, women want “diversity in talent” in the workplace. Ya gotta hand it to women – if it weren’t for the fact that poody and bazongas are like crack to men, women would have been wiped from the face of Earth long, long ago. Women should be grateful men still tolerate their crappola. Sex bots and artificial wombs can’t come fast enough.

Oh look, a useless wanker. Whatsamatter, Tim…was your sperm donation rejected at the local bank? Diddums…

Men invented everything you see about you. We’ll invent our way out of smart mouthed, in-need-of-a-beeotch slap women as well.

Wrong. If not for women, you wouldn’t have a computer algorithm to help you type your sad drivel, much less a wireless internet connection to fart it out into space with. Ada Lovelace invented programming before modern computers even existed, and Hedy Lamarr invented wi-fi long before cellphones. And don’t get me started on Admiral Grace Hopper, or the female programmers of World War II.

So as you can guess, Timmeh, I’m not worried about your kind. You won’t invent anything to seriously threaten our existence. You’re too fucking stupid; you’d probably get blown up sooner than succeed. And even if you succeeded, what would be the point? Just think, you’d have nobody to whine at if you got rid of women tomorrow, and you’d probably die of pent-up misogynous rage. The Earth would only benefit by your absence.

On second thought, invent away. Either way, you’ll be out of our hair, and we’ll be well rid of you.

Men can accomplish anything to which they set their minds. Ladies – you’d better wake the F up.

And do what? Sleep with you, just because you are a walking, talking, barely sentient dick whose best weapon against us is trite insults? No thank you, I can find better company. And so can all women.

In short, Tim, you can go fuck yourself. If your own anus will have you, that is. Go fight your lonely (nonexistent) gender war against your own sweatsocks.

Bina
9 years ago

Aaaand I’m late to the banhammer party because I chose to play catch-up. Oh well. I’m still trying to parse this piece of…of…of…what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah: DUNG!

Man engages in sex to see his will made manifest on a female body. Woman engages in sex to be the cause of his deep satisfaction, the vessel for his will. If you are fucking/getting fucked by a toaster, you may get superficial release, but it isn’t the profound satiety of causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures.

…”Causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures”? Whaaaat the fuuuuuuuck is that supposed to mean?

Well, whatever it is, it’s still wrong. Just like the bit about “will made manifest” and “vessel for his will”. Nope, nope, and NOPE. Women have sex not to be the “cause of his deep satisfaction”, but to get some for herself. And if you don’t know how to locate a clit, dude, you don’t get access to the vessel parts, either.

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

@Bina,

Also, how is a vagina transcending its biological structure when it gets penetrated by a penis? It’s biologically structured to be capable of being penetrated by a penis.

Tessa
9 years ago

Others have posted about the King guy’s post, but:

Man engages in sex to see his will made manifest on a female body. Woman engages in sex to be the cause of his deep satisfaction, the vessel for his will. If you are fucking/getting fucked by a toaster, you may get superficial release, but it isn’t the profound satiety of causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures.

the part I want to focus on is the “woman engages in sex to be the cause of his deep satisfaction.” What is it with these guys thinking that women having sex is all about the presumably always male partner? You’d think I’d stop being surprised at how these guys always think everything revolves around them and their penis.

*sigh*

Bina
9 years ago

Also, how is a vagina transcending its biological structure when it gets penetrated by a penis? It’s biologically structured to be capable of being penetrated by a penis.

Exactly. Unless this guy is talking about rape (of an underage girl, yet), that bit makes no damn sense whatsoever. Except of an awful kind that doesn’t bear thinking too long about.

You’d think I’d stop being surprised at how these guys always think everything revolves around them and their penis.

It never does cease to amaze, does it? Every last one of them, however pathetic, thinks his cocktail weenie is the axis around which the whole world — nay the whole galaxy — nay, the entire UNIVERSE revolves!

What a lucky thing for the Universe that it doesn’t work that way.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

@Alais: I have noticed that some of the PUA “game” seems to be motivated more by the desire to humiliate women than to get them to sleep with the guys. Some of it is so offensive that it’s hard for me to imagine that any woman ever would respond positively. (Not that I’m an expert on women, but women are people and most people don’t enjoy being humiliated.)

But misogyny is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it is hard for men not to acquire a serious dose unless they understand what it is and consciously resist it. I’ve been thinking about that issue quite a bit recently, and I’m afraid it’s going to take a long time to get it worked out of our system. But you never know — certainly the majority attitude toward homosexuality has changed radically in just a few decades.

katz
9 years ago

There’s a trolly aonymous upthread who said all our comments were stupid, but he posted right after Tim showed up, so it looks like he’s saying Tim is stupid XD

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

Without Margaret Hamilton and a ton of other women’s programming, that one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind wouldn’t have happened. (◡‿◡✿)

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

@Grumpy,

Well said. The best that I can figure is that PUAs are all (a) exaggerating their success wildly, (b) only succeeding via the coercion and manipulation that are key to their “game,” or (c) only succeeding in getting consensual sex from women who find them physically attractive enough to be worth putting up with for a one night stand.

Bina
9 years ago

The best that I can figure is that PUAs are all (a) exaggerating their success wildly, (b) only succeeding via the coercion and manipulation that are key to their “game,” or (c) only succeeding in getting consensual sex from women who find them physically attractive enough to be worth putting up with for a one night stand.

Or (d) just making shit up, as usual.

Shaenon
9 years ago

Not to encourage fat hate, but the male population of the U.S. is way fatter than the female population. According to this easily Google-able chart from Kaiser, 70% of men in the U.S. are categorized as overweight or obese by the (very unreliable) BMI standards, as opposed to 57.6% of women.

http://kff.org/other/state-indicator/adult-overweightobesity-rate-by-gender/

You gentlemen had better start dieting before we dump you for our skinny robot gigolos.

…Or maybe fat people are totally cute and nobody needs to compete for prettiness with imaginary robots. Either way.

Shaenon
9 years ago

…”Causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures”? Whaaaat the fuuuuuuuck is that supposed to mean?

LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
9 years ago

Sexbots for women: http://jessfink.com/Chester5000XYV/?p=34

Warning: very very very NSFW. But also very charming.

Shaenon
9 years ago

The best that I can figure is that PUAs are all (a) exaggerating their success wildly, (b) only succeeding via the coercion and manipulation that are key to their “game,” or (c) only succeeding in getting consensual sex from women who find them physically attractive enough to be worth putting up with for a one night stand.

Honestly, if you read PUA and Red Pill forums, which I do not recommend, they’re not very successful. Most of them have totally normal interactions with women, then run to their keyboards to rationalize how the woman was a hamstering HB who was secretly totes into their Red Pill alphaness. The rest are abusers and/or lying. None of them seem to be getting laid much.

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
9 years ago

Man engages in sex to see his will made manifest on a female body.

Ugh. Makes me think of Connie Willis’ All My Darling Daughters, a very disturbing and brilliant short story about creepy predatory sexual appetites.

Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

Man engages in sex to see his will made manifest on a female body. Woman engages in sex to be the cause of his deep satisfaction, the vessel for his will. If you are fucking/getting fucked by a toaster, you may get superficial release, but it isn’t the profound satiety of causing flesh to transcend its biological strictures.

To be honest, when I read that, my first thought was that this is a guy who has no real experience of sex. That’s a less creepy interpretation than the alternatives.