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#gamergate anti-Semitism antifeminism creepy douchebaggery dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about entitled babies harassment literal nazis lying liars misogyny straw feminists straw futrelle

Fan mail, from some white supremacist

Me writing this blog (Reenactment).
Me writing this blog (Reenactment).

As the guy behind a long-running blog devoted to, as my tagline notes, tracking and mocking some of the worst pieces of crap on the internet, I’ve come to expect a good deal of criticism from the aforementioned worst pieces of crap on the internet.

What still surprises me is that they almost never criticize me for anything I’ve actually said or done. Instead, they attack my weight and my fondness for cats. And then, evidently having run out of true things to say about me, they move on to attacking me for things they’ve conjured up in their own brain about me, most of which bear little or no resemblance to the truth.

Last week, I got an email with the urgent subject “OMG OMG ITS YOU!!!” from someone calling himself TF2leplayer. The email consisted of a rather weirdly elaborate fantasy portrayal of what, I guess, he imagines my life to be. Or, at the very least, what he would prefer to think my life consists of.

EDIT: So it turns out this dude’s email is a slightly reworked copypasta of a 4chan-related meme. Not being a channer, I’m not up on all the 4chan memes. When 4chan copypasta is virtually indistinguishable from the kind of “fan mail” I get every day, well that doesn’t say much for the originality of my assorted critics.

There he is. There he goes again

Look everyone he shitposted again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?? Oh my god.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room giggling like a little girl as you once again type your little “MUHSOGGYKNEES” up.

I do actually have adequate lighting.

Or maybe you don’t even do that, maybe you’re such a disgusting pile of dog shit that you actually steal shit off of Buzzfeed and Polygon.

Uh, what? I guess this would be a stinging insult if I actually did steal my stuff from either of these two sites, but since I don’t it kind of falls a teensy bit flat.

So it has no more effect on me than if he accused me of, I dunno, shoplifting Whitney Houston CDs from … I dunno, wherever they sell CDs these days. Do they sell CDs these days?

Oh we all know the issue, the uh oppressed minorities isn’t it?

Uh, I thought we’d already determined that I was “typing up MUHSOGGYKNEES.”

I imagine you, little shit, laughing so hard as you as you come up with biased articles, you drop your Doritos onto the floor.

As fond as I am of Doritos, I can’t really eat them regularly. Too much MSG. Gives me headaches.

But its ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh that’s right, did I fail to mention? You live with your mother!

Ah, the classic “you live with your mother” ploy! Now, there are plenty of people who live with their parents, for assorted reasons. I’m not one of them. So, again, this insult misses me completely. And it’s pretty damn uninspired.

Kick it up a notch, dude. Why not “you live in a poop house that is made of poop and that is also filled with poop, also the furniture is made of poop, and instead of a TV you watch a poop!”

I came up with that one off the top of my head.

You’re a fat fucking fuck up and she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all god damn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Tumblr posting about white men and trannies.

Er, what? I haven’t posted anything on Tumblr since the glory days of Confused Cats Against Feminism last year. Which by the way was quite a popular little blog in its day, though as an essentially one-joke blog it was not one destined to last. Did I mention that it got written up in like dozens of publications? T-shirts are still available!

Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a FEMINIST.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure my mom never thought I was going to be an astronaut. Moms can sense these things. I don’t really give off much of an “astronaut” vibe.

A pathetic triggered fag of a FEMINIST. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even talk try to you because all you say is “HAVE YOU HEARD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ANITA SARKEESIAN?”.

It’s weird, this assumption the #GamerGaters have that being a feminist requires that one worship Anita Sarkeesian. I mean, she seems cool, her videos are pretty good, and the fact that she gets endless harassment for them is fucking appalling, but I’m pretty sure I and most other feminists spend a lot less time thinking about Anita Sarkeesian than your typical #GamerGater does. She’s not actually the central figure in world feminism.

#GamerGaters and other antifeminists spend a lot of time and energy railing against feminists, but they know so little about feminism that they can’t even get the stereotypes right.

It’s as if I started mocking Italians for their love of lutefisk and their excessive flamenco dancing. I would get odd looks, and no one would actually be insulted.

You became a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same topic that he’s done a million times now.

Again, I have more than adequate lighting.

Oh, and that’s all you’ll ever be.

That turns out to be a somewhat ironic ending to this weird little missive.

Because when I click on the email address of Mr. TF2leplayer, I am directed to a rather sparse Google+ profile. The only thing of note I find there is a conversation Mr. TF2leplayer had in a YouTube comments section a year ago.

Mr. T started off with a complaint:pewtieAnd then this conversation ensued:

pew2
After another commenter suggested that Mr. T should be “tortured and raped” — this is from a YouTube comment section, after all — our hero responded with a screed accusing PewDiePie of being a “fag” who lives in his mother’s basement.
pew3

I’m just going to cut it off there, because it gets worse, much worse.

Now all this — what I’ve quoted and what I haven’t — doesn’t actually tell me anything about PewDiePie, video gamer and YouTube personality.

But it does tell me something about Mr. T. Namely, that he likes to go around accusing people he doesn’t like of things that aren’t true. And that he especially likes accusing people of being gay and living with their mother (not that there’s anything wrong with it). That’s not even as funny as the old standby: “You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.”

Seems like a sort of pointless and pathetic way to spend your life.

But what do I know, sitting n my room in the dark, giggling like a little girl and waiting for my mother to bring me another bag of Doritos?

MOOOOMMMMM!!!

DORITOS!! NOW!!!!!

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Philip Rose
5 years ago

“She’s not actually the central figure in world feminism.”

And yet, she’s pretty much the only thing antifeminists go on about. I have yet to have an antifeminist acknowledge that the war on women is real and that abortion rights are a rights issue. At most they skirt over it and then start screaming about Anita Sarkeesian again.

Funny that. It’s almost like they’re a bunch of selfish little children who only care about what effects their snacks, toys & nappy times.

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

Ewww, cheesy doritos? MY STIRLING IMAGE OF YOU IS RUINED! WE WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS TERRIBLE FIASCO! *mock sobbing*

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

On the plus side, at least he’s not a holocaust denier.

Film Runner
5 years ago

Is that projection I can smell?

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a FEMINIST.

So, uh… Who wants the honour of pointing out to this twit that one can be a scientist/astronaut/whatever and a feminist at the same time, because “Feminist” is not an occupation any more than “Bigoted idiot” is?

Maybe he’s just confused because he thinks “Bigoted idiot” is his occupation. Most other #Gits certainly seem to.

Signed, a feminist scientist.

ginnyn56
ginnyn56
5 years ago

Why it has to be a TF2 Player? It’s not like the Team Fortress 2 community is not toxic by any degree, but it’s like separated in several, several communities and there’s a lot of variety between them. This game has almost 50% women players in it! And the slash community in this game is really REALLY BIG!
Well… :(. Go away!

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

And yet, she’s pretty much the only thing antifeminists go on about.

Not the only thing. There’s also Valerie Solanas. =P

anemonerosie
5 years ago

You know, I’m willing to bet that there are more “rape and torture” survivors who are also in the feminist camp than there are in the opposing faction. Because the thing is – funny thing about rape and torture – they kinda suck. There’s a reason that John McCain, Republican extraordinarre, is against the whole ordeal. So all these poor dears who keep yelling about how wonderful it is are really just showing off their ignorance again. It’s really very unseemly and a little bit awkward. And it happens with the regularity of their epidermis showing. So epidermis = ignorance?! The Conspiracy Awakes!!!! 😀

(Note: I’m really trying to sound enthusiastically off the deep end here. Is it working?)

Hobbesian Academic
Hobbesian Academic
5 years ago

He could at least called you Ignatius. That would have been a better insult

Film Runner
5 years ago

So, uh… Who wants the honour of pointing out to this twit that one can be a scientist/astronaut/whatever and a feminist at the same time, because “Feminist” is not an occupation any more than “Bigoted idiot” is?

Maybe he’s just confused because he thinks “Bigoted idiot” is his occupation. Most other #Gits certainly seem to.

Signed, a feminist scientist.

Cosigned, another feminist scientist.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
5 years ago

Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a FEMINIST.

Charlie Jemison and Dorothy Green must also be so very, very disappointed. After all, it’s even possible that they once sensed a “scientist” vibe in Mae Carol.

Or that other thing.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

Doritos are really good, crushed up, in chili.

karalora
karalora
5 years ago

Voltaire’s prayer answered AGAIN!

Ellesar
Ellesar
5 years ago

OMG I have just finished a big bag of Doritos, and my son introduced me to PewDiePie (really don’t understand why he is so popular), BUT we don’t have a basement. These contradictions must make TF2leplayer’s tiny mind explode!

GiJoel
GiJoel
5 years ago

Dear Mr. TF2leplayer, those who live in fat houses shouldn’t throw scones

Miss Andry
5 years ago

I admit I have an affinity for Spicy Doritos. They’re amazing.

Malitia - SJW Who Lurks Above in Shadow
Malitia - SJW Who Lurks Above in Shadow
5 years ago

I’m trying to decide if my mental voice for Mr. Futrelle beginning to sound like Jim Sterling at the “Why not “you live in a poop house…” point is a good or a bad thing.

pecunium
5 years ago

Dave, he also called you a jew (at least I think he did) with the “MUHSOGGYKNEES”. I think he was trying to use/mock the Yiddish work, meshuggenesh.

That sort does tend to being a one-trick pony.

pecunium
5 years ago

That is the adjectival from of meshuggeneh.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

I’ve heard he has turned a corner and is doing much better with this as of late, but PewDiePie does not exactly have a stellar SJW track record in terms of his humor. I mean, of all the people to rant all “white knights and ess jay double ewes” about…

I’d bet you dollars to donuts that TF2-whats-his-face has not watched a single PewDiePie video, at least beyond ten seconds. So basically he understands that channel as well as he understands feminism, for pretty much exactly the same reasons. He’s listened to the haters, but has done none of the research, and defaults to the same basket of insults for everybody.

Charming.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

@pecunium

Actually, it’s supposed to be “Misogyny” done in the style of “Freeze peach.” Trying to turn our jokes back on us and failing, much like how they try to turn our SJ language back on us and fail.

Merus
Merus
5 years ago

Let’s be fair, David, you do source a lot of your content from Reddit.

“She’s not actually the central figure in world feminism.”

Although to be honest, GamerGate has made Anita much more visible than she otherwise would have been, and has put her at the forefront of the discussion about how abuse manifests in online spaces. (I think she would have much preferred to not have the abuse if it meant relative obscurity.)

Still, while Feminist Frequency has a good reputation frankly they just aren’t prolific enough to be a thought leader. The gaming industry had been primed for something like this for a while, after Penny Arcade’s cackhanded handling of the dickwolves controversy*. Voices that demanded to be heard couldn’t be ignored for too much longer.

*long story

Vanir (@Vanir85)
5 years ago

Yes. All mothers live in fear that their sons will grow up to be feminists. It’s their number one nightmare – the thought of their child becoming a man who respects women and support their freedom and independende.

What mothers WANT is for their sons to grow into misogynist, chauvinist creeps who think of women as just something you do and use and control.

Common knowledge, y’all!

Vanir (@Vanir85)
5 years ago

I’m trying to decide if my mental voice for Mr. Futrelle beginning to sound like Jim Sterling at the “Why not “you live in a poop house…” point is a good or a bad thing.

– Malitia

Don’t know why, but in my head, David has always sounded like Morgan Freeman.

Make of that what you will.

ej
ej
5 years ago

So, uh… Who wants the honour of pointing out to this twit that one can be a scientist/astronaut/whatever and a feminist at the same time, because “Feminist” is not an occupation any more than “Bigoted idiot” is?

Maybe he’s just confused because he thinks “Bigoted idiot” is his occupation. Most other #Gits certainly seem to.

Signed, a feminist scientist.

Cosigned, another feminist scientist.

Cosigned, yet another feminist scientist (and a woman to boot!)

davidknewton
davidknewton
5 years ago

Thanks for going through all the garbage you do for us. These people want to be hated – they really despise being made fun of.

dslucia1
dslucia1
5 years ago

“Yo listen up, here’s a story
About a little guy that lives
In a poo world
And all day and all night
And everything he sees is just poo
Like him, inside and outside

Poo, his house, with a poo little window
And a poo corvette
And everything is poo for him
And himself
And everybody around
‘Cause he ain’t got nobody to listen

I’m poo, da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye
da ba dee da ba dye

I have a poo house with a poo window
Poo is the color of all that I wear
Poo are the streets and all the trees are too
I have a girlfriend, and she is so poo
Poo are the people here that walk around
Poo like my corvette, it’s in an outside
Poo are the words I say and what I think
Poo are the feelings that live inside me”

Apologies if that happens to break any of the revised policies, but I couldn’t resist once I read the “you live in a poop house” bit.

Bob Dole
Bob Dole
5 years ago

For those who don’t know, the email Dave received is a play on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6UydqWS01g

HEhead those who install HEposting.

Bob Dole
Bob Dole
5 years ago

*insult

Binjabreel
5 years ago

The best part about pathetic shibboleths like “muh soggy knees” is that I know I can instantly disregard everything the douchecanoe is saying.

guest
guest
5 years ago

Being an astronaut is apparently not all that glamorous.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/329/nice-work-if-you-can-get-it?act=0#play

I cannot believe this story was aired in 2007! I remember it very clearly.

Apparently they have to fill out a transport authorisation when they fly in the space shuttle. ‘Government provided–other.’

guest
guest
5 years ago

OK, not that vividly–it’s ‘government–air’.

Ira Glass

OK, so it’s the day you get back from a shuttle mission, are there special weird forms that you have to fill out on that day?

Cady Coleman

Well, there is a travel voucher. You know, we work for the government, all of us. And there is some government thing that says, when you’re traveling, you will be paid for just the fact that you are gone from home, and there must be something you had to buy.

Chris Cassidy

Oh yeah, the $3.50 a day thing.

Ira Glass

It’s $3.50 a day?

Chris Cassidy

I think that’s the government, what they call meals and incidentals rate.

Marsha Ivins

So if I’m going to Washington, DC to go to NASA headquarters, it authorizes me the mode of transportation, you know, commercial air, or train, or taxi, or whatever when I’m there. So when we go to space, we get travel orders that authorize us to go from Houston to the Kennedy Space Center to Earth orbit and return.

Ira Glass

Wait, and is there a place on it where it says, like, taxi, jet, space shuttle? Like, is that an actual box you fill in?

Marsha Ivins

It’s government air.

Ira Glass

Government air?

Marsha Ivins

It’s government air. And then lodging is provided, transportation is provided, meals are provided.

spacelawn
5 years ago

“Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a FEMINIST.”

And did this guy end up as anything better? Spending time on the internet going off on ridicules rants that make no sense and are on top of that some vile shit?

Binjabreel
5 years ago

My favorite “being an astronaut isn’t all glory and freeze dried ice cream” story is the bit in one of the Apollo transcripts where they argue over whose poop is floating around in the capsule.

Or the guy who snuck a corned beef sandwich on board, then complained he couldn’t stop farting during an EVA and didn’t know his mic was on.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
5 years ago

I find it endlessly amusing to see the oh-so-witty people making “you’re fat and you live in your mom’s basement and also you’re fat” jokes being outwitted by the (actually witty and creative) people they are trying to insult. Thanks for another hilariously written article, David.

@dslucia1

Goddamn you, now it’s stuck in my head. With your lyrics.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ binjabreel

The corned beef chap was John Young; he did get quite a bollocking for that. Although by all accounts the other astronauts were just relieved he hadn’t brought cigars.

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

He could at least called you Ignatius. That would have been a better insult

I think that book is well above his reading comprehension level.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

A scientist or an astronaut? Is an astronaut not a scientist?

Also, I thought the stereotype was about Cheetos, not Doritos. And yes, spicy nacho Doritos are delicious. I also liked Salsa Verde, but they unfortunately discontinued them.

dslucia1
dslucia1
5 years ago

@Anarchonist

Sorrynotsorry.

Music videos for that song would be way different if it had those lyrics, though.

Malitia - SJW Who Lurks Above in Shadow
Malitia - SJW Who Lurks Above in Shadow
5 years ago

Vanir:

I call that a superpower.

ColeYote
ColeYote
5 years ago

> The only quasi-famous homosexual old enough to have a real job

So… Elton John, Neil Patrick Harris, Rob Halford, George Takei, Alan Cumming*, Roland Emmerich, Stephen Fry, did they all stop existing? And the implication that Pewds doesn’t have a “real job” is kinda laughable when he’s making literal millions doing stupid videos for YouTube. I’d kill to get in that position.

*I know Alan’s bi, but I doubt this joker bothers to make the distinction.

jupitaur
5 years ago

I suspect Muh Soggy Knees also has an element of “ha ha feminists on their knees ready to do the blowjobbing amirite amirite har har har.”

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@WWTH

Is an astronaut not a scientist?

I think it was Carl Sagan who said “Our first scientist on the Moon was also our last scientist on the Moon”

He was lamenting that most of the Apollo astronauts were pilots (although I’d suggest orbital mechanics has a scientific component; you throw the hammer forwards to speed up; how’s that work?)

Of course, nowadays a lot of astronauts are scientists but it’s probably true that the majority of people sent into space are primarily there just to keep the craft functioning with the science package as a secondary element.

andiexist
andiexist
5 years ago

I guess Tim Cook doesn’t exist to this guy… you know, the first ever openly gay CEO? I’d like to hear him argue that that doesn’t count. No, wait, I wouldn’t, because this guy can’t argue anything worth beans, and I do not want to hear him ranting about “f*****s” for hours on end.

(I don’t know why my brain jumped to Tim Cook. I guess I’ve been reading the Macalope too much…)

Scarlettathena
5 years ago

I can’t imagine what an angry person you would have to be to waste your time insulting people with whom you disagree. There are lots of times I think horrid thoughts about a person I find despicable, but I don’t waste my life constructing elaborate missives, nor do I spend much energy imagining their lives at all. I read an article, not the horrible nature of the individual, make a mental note that that person is horrid and move on. The next time I encounter their horrific thoughts, I think “I’m not surprised. That’s the horrible person that said/did those horrid things.”

And frankly, you could be fat and stupid and ugly and live in your parents’ basement where you feed yourself nothing but snack foods and your argument could still be valid. Your mother may indeed cry herself to sleep about you, and your argument could still be correct.

guest
guest
5 years ago

@Alan OMG it actually says ‘moon’ on it.

History Nerd
5 years ago

Funny, I’m actually a graduate student in a STEM field (which doesn’t prevent me from also being a history nerd). Many of these far right guys aren’t anywhere near what they want people to think their qualifications are in hard sciences.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

You became a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same topic that he’s done a million times now.

…writes the sad little man, laughing in the dark by himself, as he…

…well, you know the rest.