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Evil female fakes pregnancy to get attention, pampering, delicious bamboo

Sneaky, sneaky!
Sneaky, sneaky!

The latest news out of Taiwan seems to suggest that maybe Men’s Rights activists are right about the wily female and her endless demands for stuff.

In Taipei, one famous female was recently discovered to be faking a pregnancy in what appears to have been a transparent ploy for attention, round-the-clock pampering, and delicious bamboo.

Ok, it was a panda.

As China Daily reports:

Hopes that another panda cub would soon be born in Taiwan were dashed when experts determined that signs of pregnancy displayed by a giant panda at Taipei Zoo appear to have been faked by the animal in order to secure better conditions during the summer.

According to the article,

Pandas thought to be pregnant are moved into single rooms with air conditioning and round-the-clock care and also receive more fruits and bamboo.

Experts believe clever pandas display behavior similar to pregnancy to improve their quality of life after noticing the difference in treatment they receive.

Apparently this panda went a bit further than most. The article reports that the panda in question, a lovely lass named Yuan Yuan,

had shown signs of pregnancy such as loss of appetite, thickening of the uterus and increased fecal progesterone concentration.

Uh, how exactly would one go about faking “thickening of the uterus” or  “increased fecal progesterone concentration?” The article doesn’t say.

Females sure are mysterious creatures, huh?

Mysterious and evil.

H/T — 

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Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

APALT. They ride the alpha heat carousel, then dump their loser beta pen for one with air conditioning.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
9 years ago

@Alan:
Weeeeelll, (sorry to hijack the thread again)
The police could have summoned him in for questioning. Not an arrest, just call him in and sit with him for a few hours, to ask him about those flyers he’s written about how the parade must be stopped by all means, and that interview to a haredi news service where he expressed no regret about his crime, and also spoke about how the parade needs to be stopped. Gauge his intentions sort of thing. Just need to keep him there until the parade’s done – although, of course, if he’d been stupid enough to had his knife on him, I guess that could be cause for arrest.
They claim they didn’t have any intelligence about his intentions, but c’mon. They knew or could guess enough to disseminate his picture to the forces guarding the parade.

(Oh, and they’ve been pretty good with doing that sort of stuff when it’s ‘social justice’ [the economic sort, like the 99% folks, not necessarily the equal-rights sort] protestors they call in for questioning and remind ‘we have our eye on you’, so it’s even clearer that this is either gross incompetence or willful ignorance.)

And the cop who recognised him at the place could have searched him. I mean, seems like a pretty basic cop thing to do, to check if a known suspect has a weapon. Or she could have made sure he’s followed. I don’t know if she specifically was homophobic – you get all sorts – but again, it was either incompetence or willful ignorance.

@Bina:
Like I said, things are complicated. It’s important to remember that there are a couple of religious (including orthodox!) groups marching in the Jerusalem parade every year – either LGBT or allies. A whole bunch of the first response teams were religious, too. Things are not great, not by a longshot, but they’re not black-and-white.

…And we’re back to pandas!
Here’s a happy Jewish panda which, by the background, appears to be celebrating bisexuality:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51qZhAVsJdL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

contrapangloss
9 years ago

Penny, that sounds ridiculously awful.

In panda news, pandas are adorable and silly. Male pandas show off how cool they are by how high up on walls and trees they can pee. To get as high as they can, they’ll pee while in a handstand.

It’s goofy and adorable.

Arawhon, Beast of the Matriacholypse
Arawhon, Beast of the Matriacholypse
9 years ago

@Bina

PS: I liked the angry moth, too. I wonder what kind of noises they make. Obviously nothing within the range of human hearing…

Moths generally don’t make sound, but when they do, its super cute.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@Arawhon, Beast of the Matriacholypse

http://media1.giphy.com/media/f31DK1KpGsyMU/giphy.gif

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ Penny

I get your point, but it would have been tricky for ordinary cops on their own initiatives to do anything. If there’s a demo coming up and known faces then it’s the higher ups who authorise the questioning. Although even then ;people are within their rights to refuse, and often do.

The orthodox brigade can cause a lot of bother over there as you’ll know. Just look at all the grief that occurs when the authorities do take any sort of action. They all start screaming about interference with their religious liberty etc.

Even if he did have a knife that might not have given grounds to do anything; it’s not uncommon in a country as self defence aware as Israel.

I don’t think we can judge too harshly when we have the benefit of hindsight. The alternative is that we accept cops can stop, search and arrest anyone who attends a gathering of people they hate; then we effectively make counter demos illegal. Not sure that’s a good thing.

So think this is more about street cops not wanting to wind up a member of a vocal and disproportionality powerful lobby in a country where religious tensions are a big issue; rather than some sort of pan-Israel homophobia; especially when Israel is probably one of the most gay friendly countries in the world.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina
9 years ago

Andrea Dworkin was writing about the excesses of ultra-orthodox religious groups in Israel decades ago. And the real point is that it’s not really about Judaism, it’s about the tendency of some flavors of all religions (all the Abrahamic ones at least) to encourage murderous fanatics to believe that they are doing God’s will. Whether it’s racists (Chatleston), misogynists (Trainwreck), or homophobes (this incident), they all are trying to impose their view of morality on others by violence.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina
9 years ago

Also note one difference: in the incident in Israel, there were no guns, and nobody was killed. You can’t eliminate murderous fanatics, but you don’t have to let them arm themselves.

Mari
Mari
9 years ago

It’s completely outrageous that the attacker in Israel stated in his home town that he was going to do this, and he still wasn’t monitored carefully enough to stop it.

Mari
Mari
9 years ago

On the topic of pregnancy, I’ve noticed the increase in IUD usage and corresponding drop in unplanned pregnancies recently. It never occurred to me that Warren Buffet could be partly responsible!

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/warren-buffett-foundation-iuds

thedxman
9 years ago

Wait! Fake pregnancy tests only come up positive for fake pregnancy, which only occurs after fake sex and fake ovulation? Or maybe it’s more associated with boredom and fake orgasms…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ Penny

You might find this interesting:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/05/israel-jails-suspected-jewish-extremist-without-trial-following-attacks

Throws up some interesting legal issues, but at least it keeps him off the streets.

Boyd Wooley
9 years ago

When police asked Chris if he had suspected that Leslie was faking her pregnancy, he said he had no idea that she was lying – even though he had been intimate with his wife during the time she claimed to be pregnant.