The Daily Stormer defends its hero Donald Trump against the Elders of Zion (and the Daily Beast)

Andrew Agelin, grand wizard of The Daily Stormer, is given to, well, colorful headlines. Notable recent ones include

Devious Jew Vermin Abe Foxman Finally Steps Down as Anti-Defamation League Head

Jew Flood: 150,000 Ratlike Parasites to Apply for Spanish Citizenship Following New Law

Fed Jewess Janet Yellen Refusing to Share Documents with House Committee

He also has, as you might have noticed, a teensy bit of a preoccupation with Jewish people. Indeed, he’s something of an expert at working the fact (or the fantasy) of a person’s Jewishness into stories in which said person’s Jewishness is not really the story at all.

But Anglin’s attempts to inject a Jewish angle into the story of Donald Trump’s alleged rape of his then-wife Ivana deserve some sort of award. A terrible, terrible award. Here’s the headline:

Pulling Out All the Stops: Jews Accuse The Donald of Raping His Own Wife in the 80s

Technically, the person who accused The Donald of raping his own wife was his own wife, in a sworn deposition she gave several years after the alleged incident. What happened on Monday is that a publication ran an article reminding people of this allegation.

But let’s not get bogged down in mere details like that. Because, as Anglin sees it, Jewish fingerprints are all over the terrible smearing of The Donald, who is, incidentally, the darling of the neo-Nazi crowd at the moment.

The J, E, and W keys on Anglin’s laptop get quite a workout as he sets forth his accusations:

Whatever you think of Donald Trump, there is no doubt that most of the hardcore opposition to him is coming from the Jews. It was a Jew who tried to stump him on the John McCain war hero gibberish, Jewish-owned media outlets coming at him 24/7.

And Jews are a people whom no one has ever accused of having shame. They are now bringing up an ancient rape allegation (which was not actually a rape allegation) made by Trump’s wife, Ivana, during their divorce in the nineties.

The Jewish publication The Daily Beast was the first to unearth this hoax in an article written by Tim Mak (Asian) and Brandy Zadrozny (Jew).

But wait! It seems as though there’s a teensy weensy little schtikel of a flaw in Anglin’s Jewspiracy theory here.

Because, as you may recall, the Trump lawyer who got o much attention yesterday for defending his boss in a most Trumpian manner — with bluster and nonsense and a heavy dollop of attempted intimidation — was a guy named Michael Cohen.

Now, I’m no Hitler, but even I know that’s a Jewish name.

A Jew defending Trump against … the Jews? This Jewspiracy theory seems to have fallen as flat as unleavened bread.

But Anglin, an old pro in the anti-Semitism game, manages to work Cohen into his Jewspiracy theory.

What is interesting about the situation, from an anti-Semitic angle, is how horrible Trump’s Jewish lawyer, Michael Cohen, responded to the Asian reporter. …

Why would Cohen, who is surely a shrewd Jew, deal so horribly with a reporter, making a statement so offensive to modern sensibilities?

If I didn’t know better (and believe me, I don’t), I would almost wonder if this Jew working for Trump is purposefully attempting to sabotage his campaign.

And I am not asserting a conspiracy theory here. I am not suggesting some other Jew called up Cohen and told him he’d better serve the tribe and sabotage the Donald. The word “purposeful” wouldn’t even be explicitly accurate. The way Jewish psychology works, they subconsciously sense threats to their tribe, then act out based on these perceived threats. …

Well, it seems as though Anglin has this case all wrapped up, with no loose ends, like he’s a detective on Law & Order: Anti-Semite Unit.

But, to invoke an entirely different TV detective, there’s just one more thing that’s bugging me here.

Because, ok, so it’s Anglin’s contention that it was Michael Cohen’s evil Jewy unconscious that led him to behave in a way that made Trump look even worse than he already does?

Who else talked about the unconscious mind a lot? You know, he didn’t really invent the idea, per se, but he was the one that got people talking about it at cocktail parties for like a century.

I believe it was a famous psychologist named Sigmund Freud.

Or should I say a famous JEW psychologist named Sigmund Freud?

That’s right. There’s only one conclusion to draw from this.

Andrew Anglin, the supposedly Jew-hating, Hitler-loving dude behind The Daily Stormer, is working for the Jews!

All I can say to you, Andrew, is welcome aboard!

There’s lox and bagels in the break room.