Today, a news quiz!
Earlier this week, creepy misogynistic internet shitpublication Return of Kings posted an article titled “American Women Are Only Good For One Thing,” by Donovan Sharpe, described in his bio on the site as “a west coast resident who lives for objectifying women while keeping them on their toes, their backs, and their knees.”
The Question: According to Mr. Sharpe, what is the one thing American women are good for?
- Converting light energy from the Sun into “food”
- Producing a toxin in a specialized gland that is used to kill or paralyze prey via biting or spitting.
- Holding their breath for 90 minutes during deep ocean dives
- Jumping 100 times their own height
- Sex
- If you cut a woman in half, each half will regenerate into a whole woman
ANSWER: According to Sharpe, the answer is number 5, sex.
But it was a trick question! Numbers 1, 2, and 4 are also correct.
Apparently unaware of the amazing jumping, toxin-producing and photosynthetic abilities of women, Sharpe argues that
most of today’s women are bitchy, masculine, selfish cunts with inferiority complexes that make them think they want to dominate men.
The sad truth is that decades of feminism has reduced women to nothing more than three holes and a set of tits who are only as good as the orgasms they provide men.
I also think he’s wrong about the number of holes. Women have nostrils, right? And earholes? I mean, I don’t think they’re very good for sex, but they’re definitely holes.
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Please! Tell us more about how feminism has reduced our orifices! Also, how is the answer not “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?” I totally thought that that’d be it!
It’s just so hard to understand why someone would think like this, but at the same time, it’s not. I think the “inferiority complex” might just apply to this dude. That and whole lot of suppressed anger that will end with not a bang, but a whimper.
What a miserable, joyless person he must be.
Selfie time!
http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/omaha.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/5/68/568de1fc-ded4-52b7-b4a3-260330cba9d4/5331f1e75c859.image.jpg
I count eight holes. None of which he has a chance at, unless my mouth telling him that he can’t count and should fall into a McDonald’s ball pit of Legos counts.
1. Plants
2. Spiders or snakes
3. Dolphins or whales
4. Fleas
5. Every sexually-reproducing animal on the planet
6. Worms
Did I win?
@SpleenyBaggage
I love your username. “Spleen” is such a fun word to say.
@Kirby
Starfish, too. Some species can regrow their whole body from one chopped-off arm.
http://www.madreporite.com/science/linckia.jpg
And damned if they don’t look like a spiky penis when they do.
Woah, cool starfish.
Apparently earthworms can’t actually regenerate into 2 worms; only the front half can. But flatworms can regenerate from slivers of flatworms.
Which means that yes Kirby you got them all. Well, most. While sperm whales can hold their breath for 90 ,minutes, other whales and dolphins can only hold their breath for 20 minutes, according to what I’ve read.
Dang… I’ll beat your mind-bending quizes next time, David!
NEXT TIIIIMMMEEE!!!
@SFHC:
Wow. I knew they could do that, but I didn’t know what it looked like. That’s… huh.
Speaking of sea critters…
@anemonerosie:
Actually, the article pretty much does say “pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen” as things that women should be good at. Cooking, and child-rearing. Honestly it’s kind of impressive that he’s stretched out such a boring, ancient misogynistic cliche into a long essay.
Nah he’s aware of the other holes, but only counting the ones his angry little winky can fit into. It must be a miserable existence having a sexual desire for people you hate/devalue so (deservedly at that)
Dang… I’ll beat your mind-bending HTML formatting next time, Mammoth!
NEXT TIIIMMMMEEE!!!!
I’m assuming the three holes are vagina, anus, and mouth since those are the holes that provide orgasms to men.
Not only did he forget the nostrils and ears, he forgot the urethra. Does he think we pee from our vaginas?
@WWTH You may be surprised by the stupid amount of grown men who believe that. =_=
Here’s a selfie, I want to have a hashtag called #feministselfies now.
“Masculine”, eh?
Well, by that token, men are bitchy, selfish dicks with inferiority complexes that make them think they want to dominate women.
The misandry of the PUA sector in all its self-hating glory, folks.
That’s actually kind of a relief. Most of the time when these jackasses say “Since feminism, women are only good for X/good for nothing anymore!” they don’t mention what we supposedly used to be good at before feminism “ruined” us.
Here’s a thing I’ve noticed a lot from the ROK crowd… The idea that women are worthless for something if they (or another man) can do that something better. Can you cook well? Ha, all women are worthless for cooking. Can you hang out with a guy? Ha, women are worthless for company.
They point to, for example, famous male cooks and use that as evidence that men can cook better than women. Which obviously means that all men cook better than all women, and totally has something to do with the types of people these guys would actually meet or date.
I know it’s just a lazy excuse to put down women some more, but still. Bizarre. Like sneering at theoretical sour grapes from your secluded fox hole.
This sad and tired textual diarrhea is pretty much par for the course at RoK. I swear their “essays” all just blend together in a pile of vitrol and group think rage-spew at this point.
I will also second the unfortunate truth that there are many grown men who do in fact think women urinate from their vagina. Apparently whatever they went off to discuss during health class did not cover female anatomy very well.
@Karalora:
It’s actually kind of amusing. It’s not just “women should cook and raise children.” It’s “famous TV chefs that I know of are men, which prove that all women everywhere suck at cooking. I once saw a woman looking at her phone briefly while her kid wanted attention; that prove all women everywhere suck at raising kids.”
Ridiculously petty and shallow, even for their ridiculous and shallow ideology.
Well, crap, I guessed wrong. I really thought it’d be “vacuuming money out of dudes’ wallets”
this one is more of a romantic, I guess
I didn’t even have to look at the choices to get the answer right. Do I win a prize?
Ah, who am I kidding? In manosphere land, no one wins.
Do they still separate the genders in health class? I hope not. They didn’t at my schools, but I grew up in a progressive city.
kirbywarp:
It’s not really surprising. It’s part of the same symptom seen throughout the manopshere (though not limited there). Men have both the benefit of their negative traits only being a reflection on themselves, aaaand they simultaneously get to take credit for all positive things any man has ever done (or perceived to have done).
Women get the opposite. Unless every single woman can do X perfectly, women just can’t do X. And if one woman did something bad to one of these guys, well, all women collectively did it.