To go along with the Open Thread for Personal Stuff I just put up, here’s an Open Thread for everything else. As always, NO TROLLS, NO MRAs.
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Open Thread for Non-Personal Stuff: Late July 2015 Splashy Splashy Edition
One thing that’s really interesting. We often have clowns coming here and talking about women’s easy, bonbon munching lives. We have to talk about working and, especially, about how hard domestic work has always been.
We’ve been watching a BBC series called History of Home. Here’s a written description of some of it. http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/middle_ages/history_of_home.shtml#two
If you can get hold of it, it’s worth watching. There’s the usual over-emphasis on homes of the rich, but it’s still good value because the hard yakka of servants is not ignored, it’s described pretty fully. Trudging up endless flights of stairs with buckets of hot water, over and over and over again, to fill m’lady’s bath, washing white linens. None of the details of drudgery are glossed over.
Did someone say kitten hugs? Kitten hugs to all!
Oops, Meant to put that in the personal thread. Oh well. Kitten hugs can go here too!
@mildlymagnificent
I had an American Studies professor that spent a good deal of time on women’s experiences on the frontier in the 18th and 19th centuries. It’s striking how much hard work went into setting up a home “on the prairie,” and how the the women were expected to dive into the hard labor.
There was a prosperous industry in what I can only describe as singles ads; men would secure some land, then later take out ads in newspapers asking for “strong, healthy” women to come manage it with them (and have children, natch). I’m sure beauty was welcomed, but it was secondary to a firm arm and straight back.
I quit twitter a while back due to transphobic and racist GamerHate harassment. Recently I got harassed on Facebook too, and gave that up too. because I have this habit of writing feminist comments. People made fun of my personal appearance, accused me of believing things I dont believe, said “SJWs sent me rape threats” so that is somehow my fault (I am not now nor have I ever been a member of some kind of secret SJW club, I just believe in equality, no one I know makes or condones rape threats, quite the opposite); one man threatened me by talking about where he thinks I live and other presumed personal details (which he got wrong thankfully). this was all on one mainstream comedy website thread, just because I said something feminist.
Point is, this isnt just happening to famous women who have power, it is happening to anyone who stands up against bigotry. And the effect is that most people I know just dont read or write comments. Comments was supposed to be a way for readers to continue the conversation, but they are overrun by angry ignorant bigots and dangerous bullies.
I didnt post in personal because this is t a personal issue, it is a political, public safety issue. Bigots are organizing to use bullying to shut down speech. Maybe that’s old news but idk, I just want to hear your thoughts and see if anyone else feels silenced and what you think we should do…
I hate that whenever somebody expresses a desire to have spaces on the internet be not filled with hate and/or harassment, there’s always somebody there to accuse of promoting censorship. But the thing is, toxic dens of hate effectively censor people who are the targets of that hate by making it unsafe for them to be there.
That’s why this is one of my favorite quotes
@KL,
It’s so sad that you have to deal with that. I posting feminist content on my wall because of that. The most that I’m brave enough to do is argue when other people post anti-feminist stuff. I have friends who jump in on those arguments, so no one is ever stuck arguing alone. It’s sad that people like you who stick their necks out more get so much hate.
Also, I’ve been reading the comments at Biblical Gender Roles (the site that revolves around the author railing against women who sometimes turn down their husbands’ sexual advances) and that banned troll, InsanityBtyes22, has been commenting regularly. This is the worst of her stuff that I’ve seen so far. http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015/07/11/is-my-husband-raping-me/
Cats don’t mind getting wet, as long as it’s in Tears of Dog Sadness.
@wwth – YES!
@alaisvex – that was so upsetting I couldn’t even get through it. That poor, poor woman. I hope she got out of that relationship. That is just so awful. I can’t even think of another thing to say now.
Alais,
Holy fuck is that awful. I almost cried reading that. Especially when the woman writes that she is not a feminist. I wish she were, she’d get a lot more support in a feminist community and she needs feminism to validate her very legitimate concerns. I feel so awful that so many women have such internalized misogyny. Whether or not she ever identifies as a feminist though, I hope she is someday willing and able to escape her abusive husband and realize that her instincts that his behavior is not okay were correct. It’s like gaslighting women is such a huge part of our culture that women do it themselves. We’re constantly second guessing whether our feelings and opinions are valid.
It’s no surprise that IB is just as awful as the writer of that blog. Equating his sad feels at having sex with someone who is frightened, miserable and not consenting with being raped is just disgusting.
And then the other told another commenter that she would tell her own teenage daughter that marital rape is okay. Noping the fuck out of that blog
http://thesecondtake.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/FUNNY-OR-DIE-4.gif
*about to click on link*
*sees other people’s responses*
Nope.
*goes and finds some Sera and Quizzy pics*
This book is a classic in the field of technology history, if you haven’t yet run into it:
http://labyrinthine.wikia.com/wiki/More_Work_for_Mother
The takeaway is that the home appliances we’ve always been taught were ‘labour saving’ saved the labour of everyone BUT the female head of household–housekeeping is an incredibly labour-intensive task, and used to be a mixed-gender team effort; now it’s considered the primary responsibility of only one, female, person per household.
Here is a good antidote, if anyone needs it, to the Biblical rape promoter’s rape-promoting:
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/right-wing-christian-expert-on-feminism-insists-that-submitting-to-marital-rape-makes-jesus-happy/
That BGR guy is a frequent topic on another blog I read, mostly they talk about things related to their time in the quiverful movement and experiences now that they’re out (and many are now atheist but that’s neither here nor there.) He’s actually pretty typical for the type of men one can expect to encounter in the CPM (Christian Patriarchy Movement) crowd, but there are worse mixed in, as many of their ‘star pastors’ have to make a formal announcement about stepping away from being the public face of the ministry for a while, which is all about regrouping after some kind of sex scandal or other misdeeds. In that setting, the only real opportunity available to women when it comes to having power of any kind is through men appointing them as cultural enforcers who bully other women and instruct children on all the rules while making sure everyone knows that it’s men who are in charge.
Does anybody else besides me think that Paul Elam is a lot shorter than 6 feet 8 inches? (He brags that he’s that tall and would hit a much smaller woman.) If so, do you have any proof? Just wondering.
Uh, hello there. (shut up Woody)
I used to follow the internet personality Asalieri years ago, back when he was getting popular ripping on the Irate Gamer. Of course, I don’t really do that any more, not since everything about him being a manipulative amoral jackass came to light, but I wanted to see what he’s done recently.
I found that he had done a review of a webcomic, Assigned Male, which was deleted, but mirrored here:
https://youtu.be/2Yc2i-Waups
He starts off by saying that he “has nothing against trans people”, but then proceeds to repeatedly misgender the transfemale lead character when he talks about her. He also accuses her of being “egomaniacal” for daring to suggest that she wears clothes she wants to wear in order to express her femininity, or calling out teachers and friends who call her a body. He reads out her dialogue during his examples in a deep masculine voice. He suggests alternate endings for certain strips where she is beaten by her father and her schoolmates for trying to stand up against them.
After watching this, I figured I satisfied my curiosity now. Asalieri’s hit rock bottom.
The saddest thing about that article was that that woman probably wouldn’t have tolerated it if she hadn’t been raised to believe that it was her duty. She’d probably also see divorce as an option. No doubt her husband is taking advantage of her beliefs, even though he apparently isn’t Christian. It’s sickening how they think that she must only be thinking this way because she believes that she has to be in the mood to have sex. She clearly doesn’t believe that. The problem is that repeatedly being pressured to or pressuring yourself to have sex when you don’t want it does start to wear down on you after a while, even if you’ve been indoctrinated to believe that you don’t have the right to turn down your husband. That’s what they’re too blind to see. The problem isn’t that she’s too influenced by feminism. The problem is that her beliefs don’t give her the tools to address the feelings that arise from years of repeated sexual abuse.
Hi All
Didn’t actually read this because it’s got computer games etc. but it looks like it might be interesting:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2015/07/20/men-who-harass-women-online-are-quite-literally-losers-new-study-finds/?tid=sm_fb
If she weren’t so indoctrinated, she’d have left him by now. And if he actually cared and were actually suffering from low self-esteem, he’d have listened to her (because she told him what was wrong and told him how to solve it with her!) and gone to counseling and started paying more attention to her outside of sex. But no, instead he’s pressuring her to drink instead because that seems like less work to him and because he clearly doesn’t give a shit about her feelings.
And Alan, I saw that. Can’t say that I was even slightly surprised.
Is anyone up for dipping a toe into a discussion of US politics?
Nothing too controversial:
The real reason so many Americans support Donald Trump
http://wapo.st/1Mjuc1Y
I don’t see m/any WHtM readers supporting Trump.
@Alan – Saw that, but I think any signal boost is great.
Plays into the whole in group/out group thing & reminds me of the observation that the most vocally/violently racist whites in the US have historically been lower on the socioeconomic ladder – a share cropper would’ve been more threatened by the prospect of someone from a “lower status” out group gaining ascendancy*.
* That’s not meant as an attempt at either an indictment or a pardon of individuals, but more as description of a broad sociological trend.
I can’t say I am not surprised: http://bennorton.com/dashcam-video-of-violent-arrest-of-sandra-bland-was-edited/