The final chapter of James Joyce’s Ulysses, as all former English majors will tell you, consists of what has become known as Molly Bloom’s soliloquy, a punctuation-deprived 24,000-word stream-of-consciousness rush of words reflecting the thoughts of Mrs. Bloom as she lies in bed next to her husband Leopold Bloom.
The soliloquy is famous as much for its smuttiness as for its style, ending with a much-quoted passage in which Mrs. Bloom basically invents the notion of Yes Means Yes:
how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Molly Bloom might seem an unlikely Men’s Rights heroine; as a sex-obsessed mother of two, she is what most Red Pill dudes would call a post-wall slut.
Yet her famous monologue remains an influential literary inspiration to this day, even amongst the misogynists of this world.
I know this because these dudes regularly deposit long, punctuation-deprived stream-of-consciousness soliloquys in my comments section on a regular basis. They are, alas, much less charming than Mrs. Bloom’s.
I don’t usually let these walls-of-text through, but the one I got today, from someone calling himself FA, was too good (by which I mean terrible) to keep to myself.
Though it may be a little hard to tell, FA’s angry monologue is in response to my post about Aaron Clarey’s proposed boycott of Mad Max: Fury Road.
FA starts off by (I think) suggesting that I am a “broad.”
get real men, a broad wrote this trying to tell you what is going on in her self created drama of myopic shelf life ruin the world with chemical abandon in her never ending search for the Face Cream of Life so she can keep putting her holes up against the next set of losers holes just so they can cuntinue to parasite off mankind and shower him with udder disrespect.
FA is evidently a bit of a punster.
women are children their entire lives, men and women know this is true, thing is men accept it, women make every excuse and remain children who need to be led through life, protected, corrected, taught and loved. no woman knows anything of love, just the running scared empty feeling void inside they rush to fill with anything they can get their grubby little materialistic hands on while taking Mr. Wallet for a ride because he cares and is capable of caring while all a woman WANTS is attention to beat out the next natural born sluts Marcy and Stacy over there, etc.
Well, at least FA is a little freer with his punctuation than Mrs. Bloom, who only managed two periods in her monologue.
Pathetic. And pathetic men have to put up with a creature that constantly attacks them because they made the wrong choice so very long ago. The Great Whore is a mentality and women have it. They think they are so smart but they left themselves behind with their laziness.
Should there be a Godwin’s Law for misogynists, too? Like, whenever someone compares women to the Whore of Babylon they automatically lose the argument?
Or maybe it could be a drinking game.
One word of advice, do not ever fix what a woman breaks – it’s all a ploy to get you to ‘feel’ for her to get you to do it for her and waste your life on something that wasn’t worth it in the first place.
Well, I’m no good at fixing anything anyway.
by their own choices. wonder why women are all up in publishing = to rehash just what they got to work with – gash, tits and ass and that’s it.
I had no idea that women were editing manuscripts with their vaginas. How many kegels do they have to do before they can hold the blue pen firmly down there?
NAWALT = just another excuse so a woman can keep lies in her pocket to pull out and use because none of them anywhere have any H.A.I.R.E. much less loyalty… they’re always shopping around, including for men but notice how they chastise men for women be an easy lunch?
What’s H.A.I.R.E? Why are we talking about lunch?
Hey, if anyone is going to JimmyJohn’s, can you get me a turkey and bacon sub on French bread?
yeah, it’s called the double standard and they know nothing of G-D. they made their choices, made their beds and they want YOU to take their places?
A guy who used the made-up-word “cuntinue” in his first sentence won’t spell out “GOD?”
nope. they did it to themselves and Obama was right = a nation of women because you fukn pussies are pussified when it comes to what is really going on.
Yeah, I don’t think that’s a particularly accurate paraphrase of anything Obama’s ever said.
Patriarchy? Ummm, nope try whore MATRIARCHY… but oh, it’s a man’s fault. women are pretty little desperate do nothing liars by choice = not your problem men, you have a world to keep building while they tear it down for attention because men are creators, women destroyers, men know and women never will.
Well, to be honest, some men are destroyers too.
Anyhoo.
they can’t. this is why G-D HAD a wife also, past tense, LQQK around, see where she is? yes. it’s just like that. now there are good women – your job is to avoid them and not to feed the whores of Cain’s of life.
Evidently, G-D is a G-D Going His Own Way.
all a bitch ever has, is an excuse – backed by lies, to get what she wants. know why they’re confusing? because they’re fukn with you, lying to you, cheating on you… men, go fuk ’em all… it’s what they obviously want – but oh, you can’t do that. be a man. or be a worthless abusive neglected finger pointing self made drama whores bitch.
I believe that should be “whore’s.” And I think there are some hyphens and commas that could go in there as well. Too bad there’s no woman editing his rant with her vagina.
hey ‘ladies’ – your feelings don’t pay the bills ya babies, but your tits and ass just might… since it’s all the currency you really have for your udderly disrespectful attitudes and choices.
I think I prefer Molly Bloom’s dirty thoughts to his.
also notice a woman always attacks first, always… with the excuse of being threatened, notice they always hit first because they’re children, notice how they have every excuse – and Americunt High Society thinks they’re a bunch of smart hoes running men…
Ah, that brings back memories. Did anyone else read those Americunt High books when they were a kid?
It’s possible I may have gotten the name of that book series wrong.
nope, just a bunch of rude whores who aren’t worth it because guess what WHITE AMERICAN ANGLO SAXON MALES = YOU ARE THE APEX PREDATOR OF THIS PLANET… AND THE TARGET TO USURP BY ALL HER LIES.
APEX PREDATOR OF THIS PLANET! Well, at least until these things get here:
Is that the sound Predator makes? I have to admit I haven’t seen the movies.
nope, there’s real women, but let’s get real here – most are just self used up natural born whores who gender bent a system to refuse to give men respect. they also started all the chaos for WWi and II…
Er, what? I guess I should have been paying more attention in Totally Imaginary Completely Untrue History class.
remember, G-D HAD… a wife too – till he kicked her ass out to the gutter where she chose to belong… choice a = be a real woman choice b = be a whore and they all choose b BECAUSE IT’S SO LIBERATING. They do not care about anything – but sure lie and say they do. nice space shuttle they built, eh? … know your place, men do – but some whores want to be men.
Yes, it was a nice space shuttle these women helped to build.
I’m all for real men and women who play life straight and come correct with manners and respect – ya know, a human being. the rest, fuck your feelings, you’re shit and nothing but parasites and worthless fodder to make examples of. you do not care so neither do I. but for those who are True and do care. ” ) Hello. to the rest… fuck your feelings scabs and parasites. worthless human garbage. time to go.
Well, so long, then! It’s been unreal!
“worthless abusive neglected finger pointing self made drama whore”
Is it a new Tom Wolfe book?
Really though, this guy’s rant makes no sense whatsoever. What is he on?
Why does he keep talking about udders? Like cow udders? Is he a dairy farmer, or does he wish he was one? Or is he really thirsty and would like some milk, and maybe some cookies?
Mmm…chocolate chip cookies and milk….
The MSPaint George Thorogood had me in stitches.
Um…good puns, I guess?
So, same old song from the misogynists’ madlibs.
Ah, yes, women are stupid and lazy but also somehow running everything, keeping men down, and tricking men everywhere into serving them.
Um…but what if she pays you to fix it because your job is fixing it? Or you’re married to her and you need it too?
Is he trying to claim that women only write erotica? Is this what this sequence of words means?
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pymby
“Not all women are like that” and whatever he was trying to say about double standards relate to double standards how?
http://www.memegen.es/m/g9wj8d.jpg
But women are somehow running everything, even though men are much smarter, more logical, and better at doing things? How are women supposed to have pulled this trick on men if we’re so illogical, emotional, and incapable of accomplishing things?
http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=imgres&cd=&ved=0CAgQjRwwAGoVChMI_IfAsc7qxgIViZGQCh1yGQfM&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.complex.com%2Fsports%2F2014%2F10%2Frussell-westbrook-meme%2F&ei=oGKtVfy3KImjwgTyspzgDA&psig=AFQjCNGI9a9ROuFBqsHuxxN_O-lxv3ATsw&ust=1437512736768015
Sounds more like Palahniuk, I think.
I thought maybe it was something to do with “tits or gtfo,” but I like your theory better.
I love it when people claim credit for something because someone in the same arbitrary group did it, that’s always fun.
Just yesterday I was claiming I’d personally invented the aeroplane… No, wait, I was on an aeroplane marveling at all the inventiveness and history that had gone into making it possible to fly above the clouds in a tin can at hundreds of miles per hour. I always confuse those two!
See – it’s so easily done!
“I’m voting unhappily divorced. If so, I hope they had no children and she’s got a restraining order.”
I’ll second that.
“Udder disrespect”
He once insulted a large-breasted woman whose hands were full of valuable breakable objects, so she slapped him silly with her boobs. (That would be a fairly high level of disrespect.)
To paraphrase Ivan Stang, proof that some forms of ideological fanaticism have much the same effect as methamphetamine.
Me too! This is the best thing ever. As a straight white man it means that I did all the things.
I’ve opened my Welcome Package but haven’t read through *all* of it yet. (Don’t worry, I’ve lurked enough that I know to try *really* hard not to use ableist language. I’ve only ever heard of this since coming to this site though, so my sincere apologies if I mess up. I will be trying very hard though.)
I’m also nervous about trying to make quotes correctly. Let’s see how it goes.
[quote]If we are children does that make straight men pedophiles? [/quote]
Well, a lot of MRA-types are okay with pedophilia as long as the *boys* aren’t getting hurt, yes? This may not bother this guy at all. 🙁 😛
[quote]
Also it sounded much more like her was talking about lillith, gods first wife. (And midgame boss in many, many games) [/quote]
Again, not an expert, but I thought that Lilith was *Adam*’s first wife?
[quote]What is he on? [/quote]
I don’t know, but I don’t want any!!
[quote]Why does he keep talking about udders? Like cow udders? Is he a dairy farmer, or does he wish he was one? Or is he really thirsty and would like some milk, and maybe some cookies? [/quote]
If it’s just that he isn’t spelling “utterly” right– and that’s a bit “if”– I was wondering if maybe he was trying to make breasts seem less appealing by constantly referencing udders. If he hates women this much, he probably hates himself for finding women attractive and hates the idea that women think they’re attractive. Possibly “udders” is an attempt to make a female feature often seen as attractive seem less so?
I have a feeling the Welcome Package explains how to quote properly. I’m going to lower my head in embarrassment and slink over there.
Anisky: it’s (blockquote) (/blockquote), only with angular HTML brackets rather than round maths ones or square bbcode ones.
I think your point about “udders” is a good one.
Biblically the Church is usually given the role of God’s wife. But that’s a metaphor. It’s not, like, literal.
Aren’t nuns ‘brides of christ’? And if you go for that Trinity thing then technically they’re god’s missus.
Anisky: Or, the dude doesn’t know how to spell. Utter vs Udder. And I’d be okay with him not being a great speller (not something I judge people by), if he wasn’t such an irredeemable tool.
The Mormons believe god probably has lots of wives. But since they believe he still has them, I figured this guy wasn’t one of them.
EJ: Thank you for the info! 🙂
Wils: I thought that was covered in my starting my paragraph with ‘If it’s just that he isn’t spelling “utterly” right– and that’s a bit “if”–‘.
Anisky: Yeah, I’m so tired right now my eyes are crossing, so I probably saw it, read it, but it didn’t register. I agree, it is a big “if”–or maybe it’s a boobish Freudian slip.
For some reason, I got stuck on the “udder” thing. As I was reading his tirade, I kept thinking “no, you idiot! It’s UTTER, not udder!”
A lot of the “Church as the Bride of Christ” thing comes from a desperate desire to find an excuse for that porn poem you find in the middle of the Old Testament. You know, the Song of Songs. See, it’s all allegorical, it’s Jesus talking to the Church, it’s not really a woman talking about how much she wants to hurry to bed with her man. And when the man says “Your breasts are like clusters of fruit, I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit,” he’s not talking about fondling her breasts. It’s Jesus talking about how he’s going to… umm… something to the Church. Somehow.
@Alan – don’t know if I’ve been ninja’d on this but Catholically I can say that our sisters aren’t exactly brides of Christ. Not in any traditional sense, anyway. It’s all really complicated.
Ehh…My ‘inside sources’ report that a significant number of churches stick to the parts of the Bible they can use to shame their constituents into no masturbating/no dating/no sex or touching of any kind until marriage/submissive wives have all the babies and provide sex on demand to their headship aka husband/did I mention they are pushed to marry young, only boys are encouraged to go to college though not much/oh and no matter how exhausted and over-scheduled the women are with having babies, raising the toddlers, cleaning house, homeschooling, preparing meals, doing the wash, and everything else they must still find the time to keep themselves fit and looking attractive or their man will probably start looking at porn which is a gateway to cheating on their wife which she’ll be blamed for as “not fulfilling her wifely duties”.
Or the parts with all the hellfire, damnation, and how everyone who doesn’t believe the same things they do are sinners who will be punished in a lake of fire etc etc. Always have to wonder why they fret about declining church membership and then turn around to indulge in gleeful declarations of why we’re all going to hell – especially the liberals of California. Maybe people don’t want to hang out with a group that enjoys detailing what they can expect during their eternity as awful sinning sinners trapped in hell just for voting as a democrat. Among other things.
“Women are children and men are superior but women rule the world.
Women are heartless but their emotional.
Women are parasites living off of men’s money but they shouldn’t get a job because that hurts the mens’ feelings.
Women should be respectful and have good manners but men can call women gender slurs and decides what a “real” woman and man is.
Is this the Man Logic I keep hearing about?”
Having spent an embarrassing amount of time clicking around wizardchan in fascinated horror, this all sounds very familiar. This kind of screed is pretty much business as usual there: a big mishmash of contradictory reasons to hate women for not smothering them in affection and boobs, basically. I’d theorize that this is an extremely socially dysfunctional young man who was never able to form real relationships, romantic or otherwise, with women. That’s why it’s easy to say asinine things like, “women don’t feel love,” because he’s really only heard of women via reality TV and rough description. At some point in his adolescent development, when boys usually learn how to empathize and behave themselves around women long enough to get to know them, this boy decided it was all too hard and scary and retreated into himself. And then, because he didn’t want to deal with the reality of his own social failure, he had to project it onto the women — it’s THEIR fault for not loving him. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous and self-contradicting the excuses are, so long as they can distract him from his own self-loathing.
All theoretical, of course, but it seemed like a painfully obvious trend with all the angry young men on chans that say similar things.
If you have ever seen a cat on a window sill watching birds you are likely to have heard the same sound as a predator makes. Most of the cats I know do.
Now excuse me it is bedtime and I must barricade the bedroom door lest my feline companion grow bored in the night and think me prey.
As one of the aforementioned liberals of California:
See you all in hell~