The final chapter of James Joyce’s Ulysses, as all former English majors will tell you, consists of what has become known as Molly Bloom’s soliloquy, a punctuation-deprived 24,000-word stream-of-consciousness rush of words reflecting the thoughts of Mrs. Bloom as she lies in bed next to her husband Leopold Bloom.
The soliloquy is famous as much for its smuttiness as for its style, ending with a much-quoted passage in which Mrs. Bloom basically invents the notion of Yes Means Yes:
how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Molly Bloom might seem an unlikely Men’s Rights heroine; as a sex-obsessed mother of two, she is what most Red Pill dudes would call a post-wall slut.
Yet her famous monologue remains an influential literary inspiration to this day, even amongst the misogynists of this world.
I know this because these dudes regularly deposit long, punctuation-deprived stream-of-consciousness soliloquys in my comments section on a regular basis. They are, alas, much less charming than Mrs. Bloom’s.
I don’t usually let these walls-of-text through, but the one I got today, from someone calling himself FA, was too good (by which I mean terrible) to keep to myself.
Though it may be a little hard to tell, FA’s angry monologue is in response to my post about Aaron Clarey’s proposed boycott of Mad Max: Fury Road.
FA starts off by (I think) suggesting that I am a “broad.”
get real men, a broad wrote this trying to tell you what is going on in her self created drama of myopic shelf life ruin the world with chemical abandon in her never ending search for the Face Cream of Life so she can keep putting her holes up against the next set of losers holes just so they can cuntinue to parasite off mankind and shower him with udder disrespect.
FA is evidently a bit of a punster.
women are children their entire lives, men and women know this is true, thing is men accept it, women make every excuse and remain children who need to be led through life, protected, corrected, taught and loved. no woman knows anything of love, just the running scared empty feeling void inside they rush to fill with anything they can get their grubby little materialistic hands on while taking Mr. Wallet for a ride because he cares and is capable of caring while all a woman WANTS is attention to beat out the next natural born sluts Marcy and Stacy over there, etc.
Well, at least FA is a little freer with his punctuation than Mrs. Bloom, who only managed two periods in her monologue.
Pathetic. And pathetic men have to put up with a creature that constantly attacks them because they made the wrong choice so very long ago. The Great Whore is a mentality and women have it. They think they are so smart but they left themselves behind with their laziness.
Should there be a Godwin’s Law for misogynists, too? Like, whenever someone compares women to the Whore of Babylon they automatically lose the argument?
Or maybe it could be a drinking game.
One word of advice, do not ever fix what a woman breaks – it’s all a ploy to get you to ‘feel’ for her to get you to do it for her and waste your life on something that wasn’t worth it in the first place.
Well, I’m no good at fixing anything anyway.
by their own choices. wonder why women are all up in publishing = to rehash just what they got to work with – gash, tits and ass and that’s it.
I had no idea that women were editing manuscripts with their vaginas. How many kegels do they have to do before they can hold the blue pen firmly down there?
NAWALT = just another excuse so a woman can keep lies in her pocket to pull out and use because none of them anywhere have any H.A.I.R.E. much less loyalty… they’re always shopping around, including for men but notice how they chastise men for women be an easy lunch?
What’s H.A.I.R.E? Why are we talking about lunch?
Hey, if anyone is going to JimmyJohn’s, can you get me a turkey and bacon sub on French bread?
yeah, it’s called the double standard and they know nothing of G-D. they made their choices, made their beds and they want YOU to take their places?
A guy who used the made-up-word “cuntinue” in his first sentence won’t spell out “GOD?”
nope. they did it to themselves and Obama was right = a nation of women because you fukn pussies are pussified when it comes to what is really going on.
Yeah, I don’t think that’s a particularly accurate paraphrase of anything Obama’s ever said.
Patriarchy? Ummm, nope try whore MATRIARCHY… but oh, it’s a man’s fault. women are pretty little desperate do nothing liars by choice = not your problem men, you have a world to keep building while they tear it down for attention because men are creators, women destroyers, men know and women never will.
Well, to be honest, some men are destroyers too.
Anyhoo.
they can’t. this is why G-D HAD a wife also, past tense, LQQK around, see where she is? yes. it’s just like that. now there are good women – your job is to avoid them and not to feed the whores of Cain’s of life.
Evidently, G-D is a G-D Going His Own Way.
all a bitch ever has, is an excuse – backed by lies, to get what she wants. know why they’re confusing? because they’re fukn with you, lying to you, cheating on you… men, go fuk ’em all… it’s what they obviously want – but oh, you can’t do that. be a man. or be a worthless abusive neglected finger pointing self made drama whores bitch.
I believe that should be “whore’s.” And I think there are some hyphens and commas that could go in there as well. Too bad there’s no woman editing his rant with her vagina.
hey ‘ladies’ – your feelings don’t pay the bills ya babies, but your tits and ass just might… since it’s all the currency you really have for your udderly disrespectful attitudes and choices.
I think I prefer Molly Bloom’s dirty thoughts to his.
also notice a woman always attacks first, always… with the excuse of being threatened, notice they always hit first because they’re children, notice how they have every excuse – and Americunt High Society thinks they’re a bunch of smart hoes running men…
Ah, that brings back memories. Did anyone else read those Americunt High books when they were a kid?
It’s possible I may have gotten the name of that book series wrong.
nope, just a bunch of rude whores who aren’t worth it because guess what WHITE AMERICAN ANGLO SAXON MALES = YOU ARE THE APEX PREDATOR OF THIS PLANET… AND THE TARGET TO USURP BY ALL HER LIES.
APEX PREDATOR OF THIS PLANET! Well, at least until these things get here:
Is that the sound Predator makes? I have to admit I haven’t seen the movies.
nope, there’s real women, but let’s get real here – most are just self used up natural born whores who gender bent a system to refuse to give men respect. they also started all the chaos for WWi and II…
Er, what? I guess I should have been paying more attention in Totally Imaginary Completely Untrue History class.
remember, G-D HAD… a wife too – till he kicked her ass out to the gutter where she chose to belong… choice a = be a real woman choice b = be a whore and they all choose b BECAUSE IT’S SO LIBERATING. They do not care about anything – but sure lie and say they do. nice space shuttle they built, eh? … know your place, men do – but some whores want to be men.
Yes, it was a nice space shuttle these women helped to build.
I’m all for real men and women who play life straight and come correct with manners and respect – ya know, a human being. the rest, fuck your feelings, you’re shit and nothing but parasites and worthless fodder to make examples of. you do not care so neither do I. but for those who are True and do care. ” ) Hello. to the rest… fuck your feelings scabs and parasites. worthless human garbage. time to go.
Well, so long, then! It’s been unreal!
Hello and welcome! Help yourself to a welcome package if you haven’t already.
(I don’t think it’s written down anywhere that you can’t have a welcome package until you’ve posted a comment.)
It’s been a long time since I saw Predator but I seem to recall that it recorded some of the chatter of Arnie’s squad and played it back as a sort of lure.
Although after Arnie managed to get it, I think it did play back a laugh, which means it knows what laughter is.
I learn something new every day …..
To anybody who hasn’t seen it, the original predator movie was pretty awesome. The new movie predators was decent.
But predator comics are where its at.
You know, until we see the end of “man caves” (NO GURLZ ALOWED!!) they really need to stop comparing us to children.
“I AM KING OF ROME AND ABOVE GRAMMAR.” – Sigismund of Luxembourg, Holy Roman Emperor
Welp, predator’d several times.
It’s like ninja’d, but they really are invisible until they strike.
As a woman in publishing I can definitely confirm that I edit all of my proofs with my vagina.
Re: Midrash questions-
From biblical sources it looks like a couple of the tribes kept trying the whole monotheistic thing (though there it really just equated to politics- one group would get power and convince everybody else their pet deity was the right one) but one of the sticking points was actually that YHWH was always masculine.
I think he was a god of war or of like the desert winds (it’s hard to tell), and people had a natural reluctance to pray to a guy for things like rain, or crops, or fertility, which is why long after he’d subsumed the rest of proto-Jewish pantheon you still find references to a female consort deity.
I think the first one he absorbs is probably Baal, the god of storms and rain, though it’s hard to tell because Baal also just means Lord, so interpreting old texts gets sticky.
There’s some great stuff in Karen Armstrong’s History of God, I highly recommend it.
This is the finest quote ever. It even defeats my former favourite Holy Roman Emperor quote:
“I am the Emperor, and I want dumplings!”
– Otto I, Holy Roman Emperor (only known proclamation)
If God had a wife, who performed the wedding?
Okay, so we’ve got the likely explanation of “G-d’s wife”, but does anyone have any ideas what H.A.I.R.E. refers to? Google tends to suck at tracing acronyms, and this one’s been particularly difficult for me to try and track down.
I think you’ve been reading too much Joyce yourself.
sweet babby jebus this would be entertainingly incoherent if it weren’t a little disturbing. I’m impressed.
I did get the idea that there was something very personal behind the “G-D HAD… a wife too – till he kicked her ass out to the gutter where she chose to belong… choice a = be a real woman choice b = be a whore and they all choose b BECAUSE IT’S SO LIBERATING.”
I’m voting unhappily divorced. If so, I hope they had no children and she’s got a restraining order.
I’ve read a few articles/essays/things about the “Judaism wasn’t always monotheistic, or particularly Jewish” issue. The transition from El to YHWH is particularly interesting.
There’s also the argument that the Samaritans are the closest to the original Abrahamic faith, despite there being so few of them.
Shorter FA: “Argle bargle wimminz don’t do what I want argle bargle.”
I thought Predators made a clicking sound in a very low frequency. Kind of like a bad starter noise but pitched very low. Wait, I’m a woman. Am I allowed to know what a bad starter sounds like?
Anyway, one of my high school girl chums designed a door hinge for the Space Shuttle.
Oh yeah, our fearless correspondent here has clearly had a bad breakup — apparently because he found his wife/girlfriend/girl at the coffee shop he’d been stalking from afar completely incomprehensible, or possibly just unwilling to kiss his ass enough for building the space shuttle.
“And pathetic men have to put up with a creature that constantly attacks them because they made the wrong choice so very long ago.”
This would make me think he was dumped for cheating and/or trying to, but are there really two women in the world who would sleep with this guy?
If we are children does that make straight men pedophiles?
Women are children and men are superior but women rule the world.
Women are heartless but their emotional.
Women are parasites living off of men’s money but they shouldn’t get a job because that hurts the mens’ feelings.
Women should be respectful and have good manners but men can call women gender slurs and decides what a “real” woman and man is.
Is this the Man Logic I keep hearing about?
As a Christian, God never had a wife (unless it’s a different god they are referring to) I find it funny that women are children, etc but it’s Eve’s fault I mean forget Satan who tempted her and Adam leaving her alone and choosing to go along it’s all Eve’s fault. According to misogynists like the mgtow it’s always a woman’s fault never a man’s, women should always take responsibility for everything especially for men’s actions and yet we are the parasites. (I’m not calling men parasites I’m calling misognists that though I think calling them that is an insult to parasites)
I think FA’s really sweet. Anyone who knows sweet FA thinks he’s a great person!
The only thing I can think of when you say “sweet FA” to me is “Sweet Fanny Addams,” so if you mean something else, artsmyth, I’m afraid I must confess myself confused.
F is of the four-letter variety, and A is all. “Fanny Adams” is actually often a “polite” variation.
*knows this is a reference, but unsure if it is the exact reference to something and doesn’t want to feel like an idiot for mentioning where they read this quote from and have it not actually be what is being reference Scandinavian black grindcore acousticallies synthesized folk ham sandwich oh god*
@artsmyth: Ah, I got you the first time. And I only just realized that the troll David is quoting calls himself FA.
Excuse me. I must go wait out my embarrassment somewhere that’s else.
Early Jewish traditions had a male and female god, but I’m not sure if they were actually separate gods or two sides of one god.
Two sides of one God makes more sense from a modern interpretation, although god is now seen a sexless and only called father do to an attempt to label something we don’t really understand.
Also it sounded much more like her was talking about lillith, gods first wife. (And midgame boss in many, many games)
Now that I’m looking back at this, with a more awake brain, I think this part in particular is kind of telling.
This guy is saying we need to “come correct” with “manners and respect”, but I think that his attitude is telling of what kind of “manners and respect” he seems to think we need to have.
We know what manners and respect are – and we show them all the time – but this guy isn’t talking about the same kind of manners and respect we’re thinking of.
When he refers to manners and respect, what he’s saying is “respect me and treat me as an authority, and I will respect you and treat you as a human being rather than a lesser being.”
He’s not asking for respect as an equal, because that would just confirm he’s a terrible person who isn’t worthy of common courtesy, what he’s asking for is to be in a position of power over people (women specifically), and when he feels like that’s not the case, he lashes out, hence this rant.