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a woman is always to blame anti-Semitism antifeminism conspiracy theory dan perrins drama kings dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about entitled babies evil SJWs men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA none dare call it conspiracy oppressed men post contains jokes post contains sarcasm straw feminists

New Men’s Rights conspiracy theory replaces the Illuminati with Teen Vogue

The hand that holds the golf club controls the world?
The hand that holds the golf club controls the world?

Most conspiracy theorists are surprisingly uncreative in their choice of villains, blaming all the ills in the world on one or more alleged evildoers in a fairly short list: the Jews, the government, the Illuminati, space aliens, and a handful of other familiar suspects.

One Men’s Rights activist wants to add a few more names to the list: the women’s magazines Glamour, Allure, Self, Vogue, and, most terrifyingly, Teen Vogue.

So how did the MRA in question — Dan Perrins of Ontario, Canada — arrive at this particular conclusion? Earlier this year, you see, GQ magazine ran a rather scathing piece by investigative journalist Jeff Sharlet about the Men’s Rights movement, centering around the weekend Sharlet spent amongst the convention-goers at A Voice for Men’s first (and probably only) International Conference for Men’s Issues last year.

Perrins made a brief appearance in the article. He’s the guy Sharlet quoted as saying, about an ex, that “I should have killed the bitch five years ago … I’d be out by now.”

But that’s ancient history now, because there’s a new GQ outrage that has the MRAs up in arms: namely, a cartoon depicting a Men’s Rights Activist as a loudmouthed middle-aged guy that no one wants to listen to. 

gqmracartoon
Huh. Which MRA does this cartoon remind me of? Oh yeah: All of them.

Now, it’s true that not every single MRA is a loudmouthed middle-aged guy that no one wants to listen to. Obviously, some of them aren’t middle-aged.

But Perrins thinks something more sinister is afoot. In his mind, this cartoon doesn’t reflect the normal revulsion most human beings feel when confronted with a Men’s Rights activist. No, in his mind the GQers are doing the bidding of their evil puppetmasters.

While Perrins’ screenshot is a little blurry, he’s highlighting a list of the women’s “fashion and lifestyle” magazines owned by Conde Nast: Vogue, W, Glamour, Allure, Self, and the dreaded … Teen Vogue.

Apparently, in order to appease the vicious feminazis that read and run these magazines, the editors of Conde-Nast-owned GQ need to do all they can to denigrate the true male heroes of the Men’s Rights movement.

Presumably, all other Conde Nast magazines need to follow the feminazi editorial dictates of GLAMOUR and SELF and TEEN VOGUE as well. In other words, don’t expect to find any positive accounts of, say, Dean Esmay’s groundbreaking Twitter campaign against cavernous feminist vaginas, or whatever other important human rights activism that the MRAs are up to today, in the pages of Architectural Digest or Bon Appétit.

But wait. What is this I see in the list of Conde Nast publications?

golf

Is it possible that the feminazis at Teen Vogue aren’t really the ones in charge, but are merely a front for the true puppetmasters?

Could it be that all of Conde Nast is in the pockets of BIG GOLF?

 

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Kootiepatra
6 years ago

Aren’t the bottom-feeder trolls of Reddit currently mad at Conde Nast too? Does this mean that everything, eventually, truly is all about ethics in video games?

*puts on tinfoil hat just to be sure*

Sarah
Sarah
6 years ago

So fashion magazines that are overwhelmingly populated with white, size 0 models wearing 4-inch heels, 5-figure haute couture, and inches of make-up are the tool of men-hating feminazis? This conspiracy is even deeper than we thought!!

Ellesar
Ellesar
6 years ago

Quite so Sarah! I avoid such magazines like the plague and tend to assume that they are of the S&TC brand of ‘feminism’ ie not really feminist at all.

I guess it is just another proof that when MRA’s attack feminists they really just mean any woman (apart from those fervent anti feminists such as Karen Straughn and Judgy Bitch), and those magazines are easy targets, being as how they spout such appalling drivel.

Wilson
Wilson
6 years ago

This thing goes all the way to the top!

Film Runner
6 years ago

So fashion magazines that are overwhelmingly populated with white, size 0 models wearing 4-inch heels, 5-figure haute couture, and inches of make-up are the tool of men-hating feminazis? This conspiracy is even deeper than we thought!!

They’re deviously convincing men that all women look like that naturally so they can bathe in the tears of male disappointment when they realise they don’t! Diabolical.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
6 years ago

Max Factor is to blame, and must have secretly been hiding zie true gender configuration!I It’s the only logical conclusion.

Sephora aids and abets untold numbers of women and adolescent girls in their outrageous assault/battery against their joint or personal bank account(s), as they commit their worst cosmetic crimes like 1.) Being an attention whore who goes out on Friday nights with their friends and daring to wear makeup, 2.) buying every Urban Decay “Naked” palette 3.) overdoing things just a bit trying to get permission to leave the house looking like Tammy Faye Baker.
Brought to you by your local Cosmetics Police Auxiliary

opium4themasses
6 years ago

Ugh. http://www.sundayworld.com/news/courts/no-jail-for-man-who-raped-his-girlfriend-regularly-while-she-slept
Probably already posted here since I know the person who runs the Facebook group I got it from reads this blog.

Still, funny that the MRAs are finally getting their day in the sun and sunlight is the disinfectant we needed.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

“teen vogue” is an anagram for “eve tongue.” Obviously, hidden femluminati symbolic code indicating that this is the “mouthpiece” for the Feminine Agenda. And, we all saw where listening to Eve got Adam. Wake up, sheeple!

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

I’m starting to think that the Freemasons must be feeling a bit left out lately. When was the last time you saw anyone refer to the secret society of communists+ catholics+ jews+ freemasons that used to run the world not so many years ago.

As for loudmouth MRAs putting everyone off their food, I have to confess that I’ve more or less given up on the BTL comments at The Guardian. They descend like locusts on any of Jessica Valente’s articles, but they’re all over the place in all sorts of topics. I tend to stay out of it unless it’s something particularly egregious on a topic that really gets to me. People claiming that Rosie Batty is just ‘playing for sympathy’ because her son was murdered by his father or is unqualified to be Australian of The Year because ‘she’s never done anything noteworthy’ do get me to come out fighting (if I see them on the first page of comments).

There are also a fair number of Mealymouthed selfRighteous Assholes on the ABC (Australian) website as well. I get a bit disheartened and guilty all at once — I don’t usually have it in me to put in a comment and I feel guilty and overwhelmed because I feel as though I should. (I know. I’m not fearless and forthright and energetic now the way I was 40 years ago. But it feels wrong. I just hope my grumpy old lady status will come to the fore and I can do it again, at least intermittently with a burst of occasional fury.)

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Interestingly, Conde Nast also owns Reddit. It’s all connected, I tell you! SJWs are everywehre!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I’m starting to think that the Freemasons must be feeling a bit left out lately.

Not so. If you rearrange the letters of feminist, you get Freemason!

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view8/4595407/alex-jones-o.gif

Miss Andry
6 years ago

Join the Femilluminati today.

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

girlscientist
girlscientist
6 years ago

@Opium4themasses: Ugh is about right. What a discouraging story! It’s awful that he got away with it *because he confessed*. People are always saying “oh, rape is so hard to prosecute! It’s he says/she says” but here he agrees that he raped her, repeatedly, and the judge is still saying “this is so hard to prosecute!!!1!” Moving goalposts, anyone?

sunnysombrera
6 years ago

@opium

She expressed anger that an earlier incident of sexual abuse she suffered as a child had been brought up by his legal defence as a contributing factor in her psychological problems.

“She was crazy BEFORE the rape Your Honour, this guy barely hurt her at all!”
http://38.media.tumblr.com/3d29f5a857664a228f304c5fb81c6fe9/tumblr_mizircHKFq1s6vufto2_500.gif
(sorry for ableism)

IRELAND. FIX THIS SHIT. NOW.

sunnysombrera
6 years ago

@girlscientist
IKR. How fucked up is it that as soon as he confesses they start cooing over him like “awww he says he feels bad! What a nice guy. Here, no jail time for you. ^_^ ”

DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO FAKE REMORSE, YOU DIPSHITS?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

she was at first “fooled that it was not really rape because it didn’t fit with how rape is often understood”

And this is why we need feminism.

Johanna Roberts
6 years ago

I knew golf was evil. XD NOW I HAVE PROOF. That being said, this was just a giggle fit to read.

kylagb
6 years ago

When I started looking into the men’s movement, the first word that popped into my head was “paranoid”. It reminded me of every other movement based on fear, bitterness, victim-blaming and insecurity like Stormfront, neo-nazis, even cult leaders like Charles Manson. You guys have probably already seen this article talking about how the men’s movement recruits young, vulnerable people.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-uncomfortable-truths-behind-mens-rights-movement/

NonServiam
6 years ago

Curse you, Big Golf! Curse you!

NonServiam
6 years ago

Also; that news story from Ireland: I feel ill and I want to leave again.

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
6 years ago

@kylagb, I hadn’t seen that one before, great article. It’s always reassuring when mainstream publications (particularly those aimed at a male audience) just can’t take the manosphere seriously.

teabug
teabug
6 years ago

Yeah; I don’t think most MRAs understand what American Beauty is about.
Why am I not surprised.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Not that I can speak for World Freemasonry*, but there are still plenty of. . . innnteresting people who are fascinated/horrified by the Craft and its members. There’s just so very much competition now that it’s harder to spot.

*Nobody can. There is no Magister Ipsissimus in a secret location controlling the entire society. Really.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

Fun fact: There’s actually a Freemason building in my town, compass logo and everything.

… It’s just a social club hall. All they do is hang out, drink, pray and donate to charity. Unless beer gives them superpowers, I suppose.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

Anyone who plays a game with the name of “FLOG” spelled backwards …

opium4themasses
6 years ago

@sunnysombrera It strikes me the same as the Menendez bros asking for a lighter sentence on account of their status as orphans.

They don’t give plea deals after a concession. The plea deal is supposed to get the conviction. Plus they gave his family credit for paying the money necessary to come to court to defend him. Fuck it. Just fuck it.

Josh Miller
Josh Miller
6 years ago

This whole article is hilarious. Good work, David.

NothingClever
NothingClever
6 years ago

My local chapter of the Masons has Strawberry Sundae Sundays. Open to the public. Those evil bastards.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

EJ (The Other One) | July 13, 2015 at 10:41 am
Interestingly, Conde Nast also owns Reddit. It’s all connected, I tell you! SJWs are everywehre!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/jkendrix/LXiJg.gif

There’s also that old myth about golf standing for “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden”. Are the MGTOWs involved in this too?!

epitome of incomprehensibility

My pet conspiracy theory is that lip balm actually makes your lips dryer, so that you have to keep buying it. Perhaps this is related to Teen Vogue somehow? 🙂

Stranded in Babylon
Stranded in Babylon
6 years ago

I’m sorry to burst your bubble but the masonic conspiracy is real; they are trying to destroy the deposit of faith of the Roman Catholic Church and yes corporate fashion magazines and golf are a part of it; most US Presidents spend too much time playing golf…very suspicious. And yes as I said last week Mozart did try to infiltrate freemasonry as he was spying for the Vatican and put masonic messages in the Magic Flute as part of this but he was assassinated and his report was lost forever. John Wilkes Booth was also a feminist freemason who assassinated Lincoln because Lincoln was about to convert to Catholicism; please do your research.

Stranded in Babylon
Stranded in Babylon
6 years ago

Dan is also part of the conspiracy though; MRA is a freemasonic movement; a lot of MRAs are at least somewhat pro-choice. Fact, well-documented. There are Bible codes predicting the rise of MRA/feminist conspiracy. Also CS Lewis discusses it; there are codes in Chronicles of Narnia books.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Didn’t I ask you to try a different trolling tactic. The hilarity wore off the last time you posted.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago
katz
katz
6 years ago

No troll has gone from funny to tiresome more quickly.

Stranded in Babylon
Stranded in Babylon
6 years ago

This post was about conspiracies so it’s totally on topic to share my concerns about freemasonry. There are also many women who believe in conspiracy theory so it’s anti-feminist to shame them; by contrast I am defending them. The perspicaciously false catechism displayed on this blog is philosophically inconsiderate and in essence inconsistent with the moral truths and natural scriptural exegesis of the patristic traditions

Stranded in Babylon
Stranded in Babylon
6 years ago

Also this thread didn’t have enough comments yet; I am actually helping you all by increasing the comment count. Idea generation is a noble goal.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

There are also many women who believe in conspiracy theory so it’s anti-feminist to shame them;

http://33.media.tumblr.com/eb84dad9579073f0a45c5644762731a6/tumblr_inline_nrcj0ocT651t5wl3j_500.gif

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

@stranded in babble-on: have you managed to get your head past the sigmoid yet? We’d love to hear a report from you when you succeed, which I’m sure you will.

Stranded in Babylon
Stranded in Babylon
6 years ago

I didn’t post during the whole Ellen Pao Reddit distraction this weekend. Now that’s truly boring.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
6 years ago

Welp, off to listen to Mozart’s Masonic Funeral Music on repeat I go, then. After all, I’m not sure I’ve caught the secret message yet. (The secret message is that it’s Masonic; there’s a clue in the title.)

And then perhaps Sibelius’ ritual Masonic music. You haven’t explained how he fits into things yet. If it doesn’t involve the Russo-Finnish war, the Kalevala, the Hungarian uprising of 1956, Shostakovich’s 11th Symphony, the Russian Revolution of 1904-05, and Sergei Eisenstein’s Ivan the Terrible, I will be very disappointed.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

@Babylon

David’s already outed you as a sock, dude. The whole conspiracy crackpot schtick isn’t interesting when we know it’s a schtick.

serrana
6 years ago

Did David say that Stranded is one of our old trolls who’s returned? Or did I dream that? Did anyone guess who it is?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

@serrana

Yeah. It was come completely forgettable name. I think it might have started with a p or b. Whatevs.

serrana
6 years ago

Was it brz? He used to pretend to be French, I think, but he so obviously wasn’t.

I was thinking it was Diogenes myself, but he was only sort of a trol – he was obnoxious, but I don’t think it was on purpose.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

It’s not so dear but so very old and tiresome Pro Patria wotsit.

katz
katz
6 years ago

It was Pro Patria Truthteller, right?

serrana
6 years ago

Oh, that dude. Yeah, he was boring as fuck. Still is! (I only remember brz because I want a Suburu BRZ someday.)