The lovely fellas in the Red Pill subreddit are up in (possibly imaginary) arms about a new anti-troll law that, they’re convinced, has made “the Red Pill … illegal in New Zealand.”
“This is blatant fascist censorship,” cries one outraged alpha male. “COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,” adds another.
But as Red Pill subreddit legend GayLubeOil explains, in reality the Red Pillers have nothing to fear. Because they could totally take New Zealand. Like, by force.
You just hit the X button on the M-16 to reload it, right? Real guns have X buttons, right?
H/T — r/BestOfOutrageCulture, via @Prios
Does it make me pathetic that I never wanted to be Batman?
I wanted to be able to do really awesome stuff (like fly, and climb trees) in a really pretty dress.
Ironically I turned out to a gay woman that still loves to wear wear pretty dresses. I’d be a damn cute Bat-whatever…if I wanted to be.
I was a really lucky little girl. I was able to be me.
When I still played WoW (oh sweet days of my youth, I have to get back to it…) my guild leader and her right hand were both women. We were, and, for all I know, still are, very successful. So not only menz can organize an army, watch out!
Not at all. I can understand that he’s not everyone’s superhero of choice. Personally, he’s not mine either, but I can understand the appeal. He does a lot of interesting things for being a semi-ordinary cishet rich white dude.
I’m not personally a fan of the new Mayunly-Gritty-Angsty Batman portrayed in the live action movies. I loved the spirit of the Animated Series where Bruce had more humanity and was actually empathetic to his rogues who were simply victims of circumstance themselves.
And one of my favorite parts is where he’s scolding Tim about failing a test about law in school, and Tim just says “I know the law doesn’t work!”
Bruce: “How did you come to that conclusion?”
Tim: “By watching you.”
Bruce’s face was priceless.
I miss the campy shit. I want more Schwarzenegger being Mr. Freeze again. He was fabulous. And Michelle Pfeiffer being Catwoman. Because wow she was amazing. (And that performance may have been a moment in my young life where I was like “Why are girls so pretty and amazing?”, even though I didn’t realize it until years later.)
I got experience from running and avoiding obstacles, flying and searching for chaos emeralds, sword fighting, horse back riding, archery, playing the ocarina, I’m a level 50 at candy crush, solved many, many puzzles, leapt over cliffs and destroyed obstacles as a robot unicorn, and I never died by the feathered foes which are known as “cuccos”. Yes I got what you call “skills”
Oooh, video games as real life! I can play that game. Let’s see. I’m a galactic emperor, having conquered, terraformed and inhabited most of the planets in the known universe (Galactic Empire), I’m a totally badass tactician specializing in diplomatic, religious and cultural dominance of my enemies (Civ IV and V), not to mention that you can drop me anywhere with nothing but the shirt on my back and I’ll destroy trees with my bare hands to eventually work up to making tools and cultivating crops and hunt animals and kill zombies and misc. other monsters, becoming rich in diamonds while doing so (Minecraft, survival mode). But I believe the most relevant of all is that I am literally God. Or in my case, Goddess. (ALL the Sims games and expansions.)
They can all come at me. I’ll make them pee themselves and then have them take a swim in the pool and remove the ladder. Or repair electronics with their zero repair skill. That’s how this works, right?
So the part of batman I liked was the detective part, which is pretty much nonexistant nowadays, because I liked Sherlock Holmes as a kid but eventually came to the conclusion that I’d be that obsessive if I did that much cocaine too.
To be honest; the comic character whose power I always wanted was Storm. Controlling the weather always seemed like a trump card that they rarely used to it’s full potential- I guess when you have a tornado everything would look like a trailer park.
I’ve been a lurker here for a couple of years now. Love the blog and all the comments – I’ve learnt so much here thanks to you all.
I’ve come out of lurking as I can’t let stand a rather ignorant comment that is close to my heart – Emperor apologetics.
@kyuubinokitsunehime
I’m sorry but you really need to check up on the official documents and diary entries by Hirohito and his closest aids in the court group (what have been released that is) . While he didn’t start off the “incident” in China – he did absolutely nothing to stop it, and gave imperial rescripts to the commanders involved. Hirohito was directing policy and war aims throughout the war. As long as his troops were successfully expanding his empire, he didn’t care how they did it.
Try reading Herbert P. Bix’s Hirohito and the Making of Modern Japan. Or try reading the diaries of his closest aides and other members of the court group.
I’m so sick of people going for the whole “Emperor was a figure head” crap. It doesn’t stand up to scrutiny at all.
Oh, and CoD manospherian shit bags, just try invading NZ with your l33t CoD skills….. HAHAHAAHAH!
Awww, ninja’d by Binjabreel!
I was just about to say that my heart lies more with the X-Peeps than Batman if I’m brutally honest. Although the Batvoice is ridiculously addictive and has become a staple in our everyday conversation at home.
“Have you done the washing up yet?”
“No, sorry, I’ll do it soon”
“SWEAR TO ME!”
Also a very good response to any man claiming to be Going His Own Way.
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28905369.jpg
Looks like “Stranded in Babylon” overheard someone say “free republic” and manfully rushed here to defend it.
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/07/02/red-pill-redditors-prepared-to-take-new-zealand-by-force-using-skills-gained-from-call-of-duty/comment-page-2/#comment-779795
Hey, free republican? How does equal access to cake restrict anyone’s freedom?
Why are you suddenly interested in the freedom of a group of people that
doesn’t include you? Either you’re consistently selfish, or you realise that freedom for all comes with some requirements on how we treat others. Which is it to be?
Also, please send a copy of this feminist agenda that you’ve been reading. I left mine in the wash.
I have no real life practical skills whatsoever, since I don’t play video games. However, I do have lots of totally accurate and useful real world knowledge from reading novels.
(following tl;dr about my very obscure fandom)
I just re-read one of my favorite childhood books, the Swiftlet Isles by James G. Porter. It’s one of those old-timey (1970s) adventure novels that provide escapist fantasies for young boys. The protagonist is an Australian runaway teen boy who literally “goes his own way” in a somewhat plausible manner, settling on a small tropical island and living off the land. All that info about sailing and outdoor survival would be more useful than Call of Duty for any sulky teenagers who want their own Pacific island. There’s even some casual shaming of fat guys and divorced mothers in the book!
Anyway, I still love that story. I feel lucky that it was translated in Finnish (since I was just beginning to learn English at age 10-15) and I found it from a library thrift sale. Some years ago I tried to search info on “Swiftlet Isles” but found nothing, which wasn’t very surprising for such tiny islands, even assuming they do exist. They’re supposed to be just off the coast of North Queensland about halfway between Townsville and Cairns.
Just now it occurred to me I could look them up on Google Earth. Turns out that the group is actually called Family Islands, but otherwise the book’s description is indeed very accurate.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Islands_National_Park
The islands have a surprisingly fascinating history, particularly Dunk and Bedarra. (The book’s central locations are the Bedarra and Wheeler islands.)
Also, it turns out there was already significant tourism in the 1970s and even more now. The area is apparently very beautiful, and still reasonably quiet, as a luxury tourist destination. If I had lots of money and free time, I could go vacating in a resort on Bedarra, and visit camping on Wheeler where the book’s protagonist lived. Such dreams…
Re: The Haka – I got to visit a dear friend of mine who lives in NZ. She took me to a rugby match, and told me ahead of time about the haka—I thought it sounded cool, like a nifty little traditional chant to kick things off.
I was watching safely from the stands and I felt profoundly intimidated. I can’t imagine how it feels being on the field, staring directly into a sea of All Blacks who look for all the world like they don’t plan on leaving survivors. I still get goosebumps thinking about it.
My totes-real-life combat training allows me to spray lots and lots of bullets around while yelling about sandwiches in a corny Russian accent. I can also build the most stomach-churning rollercoaster known to human history.
Hey Redpillers, bad news for you! I’m an undefeated champion* at Risk!
It means I can rule the whole fucking world without leaving my room.
Take that, gamebros!
http://screencrave.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Picture-121.jpg
*which means I won once and I was friend of the winner the rest of the times.
I’m really, really bad at video games. In fact I’m pretty bad at all games. However, I did once manage to build a perpetual motion device whilst messing around with pumps and waterwheels in Dwarf Fortress; and I once worked out a technique to annihilate an entire city at once in Black and White.
I really hope these skills don’t translate to real life.
Invade New Zealand because of an anti trolling law?! Total LOLnes. How the hell do they expect to be able to pull that one off? Oh dear. Not only would it be a huge logistical feat transporting all the ‘troops’ from the other side of the world, New Zealand is a close neighbour to a country that has a much larger military-Australia. New Zealand may only have 4 thousand military personal, but Australia has over 90 thousand-approx 60, 000 full-time active-duty personnel, 20, 000 active reserves and 20, 000 standby reserves.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Defence_Force
Australia is also New Zealand’s closest and most important security partner and we have a strong alliance relationship. Australia and New Zealand also have fought side by side in all the major conflicts in the 20th Century since WW1 (the Gallipoli campaign). Just look up the ANZACs. Australia also has a strong economic/trade and political relationship with New Zealand. (If anyone is interested in learning more about Australia’s relationship with New Zealand, the New Zealand Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade is a great place to start. http://www.mfat.govt.nz/Foreign-Relations/Australia/index.php )
So if New Zealand ever gets invaded, how do you think Australia will react? I am sure over 94 thousand highly trained military personnel is more than a match for 120, 000 Call of Duty trained basement dwellers.
sunnysombrera-Congrats!!!! I just got a job, too. YAY!
http://www.mysweetescapebakery.com/Lets-Party-party-8204481-682-456.gif
http://flyingsquirrelsports.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/11-birthday-party.jpg
I don’t have much knowledge of New Zealand or warfare, but if games are real life, I would defeat their 120, 000 “soldiers” by rolling them up in my katamari.
Mag release? It’s adorable that they think they’d last long enough to have to reload.
I’m not much for fighting games but if you ever need a door opened via an overly complex logic puzzle involving a steampunk style boiler, 6 octagonal disc keys, and the sound of a peeper frog matched to its silhouette then I am your girl!
@Hoosier X
Zoe fuckin’ Bell! <3
Of course! Khajiit is too sneaky for you. And why say ‘milk drinker’ like it’s a bad thing!?
http://www.mindlesspixie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/244894.jpg
Freedom from misogyny, sexism, harassment, assault and abuse is “restriction”? For WOMEN? Somebody’s been reading Orwell all wrong again.
@kyuubinokitsunehime
Hirohito still was the hinge on which the Japanese polity turned and he told neither the army, nore the navy to quit or even slow down at any point until after the atomic bombs had been dropped.
He rubber stamped whatever they were doing. Members of his family were even involved in war crimes.
Plus the Imperial Way faction was a thing. Parts of the military were indeed ready and willing to fight the rest of the military at his command as they felt that the cliques were obstructing his power. Never mind that there would have been no point in keeping an unimportant figruehead whom nobody pays any mind to around after the war, right? So claiming that he had been marginalized is the height of ignorance.
@spacelawn
The most recent 3D shooter I play with some regularity is Return to Castle Wolfenstein. I appreciate that its mechanics pretty much make all guns you get useful.
Because Freepers really have their finger on the political pulse. In the US in 2002 anyway.
@ Kakanian
It’s interesting to read up on the Tokyo War Crimes Tribunal. The Nuremberg Trials get most of the attention, but a lot of modern International Law derives from Tokyo.
In the Tokyo trials there was an agreement amongst the prosecuting authorities that Hirohito would be kept out of the proceedings; they needed him as a figurehead to smooth the MacArthur governance. Most of the defendants were happy to take the rap for him. His involvement though was hard to cover up. A lot of the time, despite skirting around the issue, there’s a big Hirohito shaped gap in the evidence.
New Zealand may only have 8,000 organized troops, but the whole place is crawling with orcs. Hope you’re ready.
Oh wow. You go NZ! And please tell me this law will apply to school bullies.
It doesn’t really appear to be the Gestapo of free speech that the red pillers seem to think it is.
They believed that Anita Sarkeesian would bring the downfall of the video games industry, for fucks’ sake. Melodramatic is their middle name.