The lovely fellas in the Red Pill subreddit are up in (possibly imaginary) arms about a new anti-troll law that, they’re convinced, has made “the Red Pill … illegal in New Zealand.”
“This is blatant fascist censorship,” cries one outraged alpha male. “COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,” adds another.
But as Red Pill subreddit legend GayLubeOil explains, in reality the Red Pillers have nothing to fear. Because they could totally take New Zealand. Like, by force.
You just hit the X button on the M-16 to reload it, right? Real guns have X buttons, right?
H/T — r/BestOfOutrageCulture, via @Prios
*checks my Skyrim hours on Steam*
1235 hours
By the nine 0_0
I knew it was bad, but…
@Misha
Excuse me, but no, you are not Batman. My name was misspelt TWICE when I was Banana Jackie Cake as “Batman Jackie Cake”, PLUS I’ve (almost) beaten Arkham Asylum on hard, so, I’m Batman.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/h7C81F493.gif
lol
@kakanian
yeah, mirrored guns. That stopped years ago, was the last FPS you played BF:BC2?
Sure, it still happens here and there, like in Far Cry, but it’s very uncommon to see nowadays.
@ Pandapool
That is my favorite Batman gif right now. I’ve used it twice on Facebook today alone! The first time I saw it I nearly peed myself laughing!
I think these redpoll era would not even be able to handle a bolt action rifle.
NZ might be pretty easy to conquer, except for the fact that’s its too far away from anywhere but Australia, and everyone in Australia has family in NZ and vice versa so that wouldn’t work. Everything costs three times as much here just because of shipping, so shipping over 120K bigots plus equipment would be expensive.
I know from my extensive experience playing Civilisation that these kind of long-distance sea-based wars are generally a bad idea economically, although it’s a lot better when you have invent units that can attack directly from boats into cities.
The other thing about NZ is its a lot like Atlantis – you’ve heard of it, it’s somewhere in the ocean, but its not on any map. http://worldmapswithout.nz/
It’s also like Atlantis in that it is filled with strange and wondrous things, many of which have already been mentioned, such as Haast Eagles, Hobbits, Jedi, birds that eat cars, giant insects, and so on.
Ultimately though, I think any invasion would fail due to the fact that pretty much everyone in the country will ignore the Red Pillers takeover due to lack of interest – unless they invade tomorrow and disrupt the rugby game, in which case they will be ripped to pieces.
The Red Pillers may not have the full solution, but many women are questioning the feminist agenda because of stories like this, about feminism not actually protecting their freedom, but rather restricting it. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3307120/posts
Congrats, sunnysombrera!
I’ve learned to drive very irresponsibly from GTA. Also that you can survive just fine after driving off cliffs in a taxi.
I’m pretty good with a plasmid…
Their guns can fire bullets, but my gun can fucking teleport.
Also, my painting skillz mean I should have my own wing in the Louvre by now.
I meant to type redpiller. Also the original m16 was very unreliable due to the fact that it jammed in dirty places. Battles are not fought in clean environments.
They should use commercial air travel to sneak into Wellington in groups of five. Agents (perhaps there are already some MRAs already in New Zealand?) will pass out maps indicating the location of a central meeting point. (I would suggest the giant statues on either side of the river that we saw in The Lord of the Rings movies. That’s probably easy to find.)
They can just carry their arms with them. If they are at any point challenged by New Zealand authorities, they should just get all aggressive and raise their voices and yell at the authorities. New Zealand is just like the Canada of the Southern Hemisphere, right? They are very super-polite and they don’t like conflict so they will back down. If it doesn’t work, pretend to be Australian and you can do whatever you want. (I learned this from Flight of the Conchords.)
Next, get the Maoris to teach the invasion force to ride whales.
For food, they will have to live on kangaroos and koalas and hobbits for a time, but it will be worth it when it’s time for the endgame and they burn the Opera House to the ground.
But watch out for Zoe Bell!
Come back when you’ve completed Arkham Knight. Then we’ll talk.
… on second thoughts, the time of Batfleck is coming. I don’t know if I want to be Batfleck 🙁
@Misha
I am willing to be Batfleck because I am the Goddamn Batman.
Meanwhile, yes, please Red Pillers, please keep complaining about this anti-trolling law. Maybe if it gets enough attention, legislators in other countries will take note and make similar laws. 😀
“There are plenty of veterans here.”
I have this sneaking suspicion that he’s referring to digital warriors and not to, like, actual combat veterans. Haven’t gamergaters* also compared themselves to real soldiers/ veterans because of all the many heroic hours they’ve spent firing imaginary weapons in their mothers’ basements?
*Ha, as if they aren’t the same people as the TeRPers.
Not to mention the fact the New Zealand is filled with armies of orcs that can eat them for breakfast. (Hey, if they can live in a reality-free zone, then so can I.)
@AbsintheDexterous “COME AT ME BRO, AND FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SHE CAN’T DUST”
OH YEAH???!?!! CAN YOU EVEN DUST, BRO?
Thanks for the congratulations, everyone!
Let’s see, my gaming CV…well, I’m a ninja, hand to hand combat expert, spaceship pilot, to name a few. And I’m pretty damn good at the guitar too, apparently.
“wondering how they’re going to get 120,000 M16s into New Zealand?”
That’s what you’re wondering? I’m not even wondering how they’re going to get their hands on 120k assault rifles, because I’m still wondering where they’re going to get so many Red Pill supporters. If there are more than 10,000 of them on the planet, I’d be shocked.
All I would say to the redpillers about a take over of NZ and miffed Kiwis is Falklands. 28000 squaddies, matloes, bootnecks and the mad fuckers plus a 100 ships were nearly fucked hard by battalion strength conscript kids. A highly trained combined arms amphibious force of highly disciplined worlds best armed nutters did done hard graft.
I don’t think COD gives them the real experience of soggy boots, empty stomach, the stink of your mates, chaffing fatigues and shitty pants from going on a spree in NZ’s cold, wet, rainy mountains.
Plus 80 million guerilla sheep with improvised exploding fleeces will fuck the red pillers up royally, wonder if Peter Jackson would film it for us.
“And after the conquest the oppressed males will greet the invading redpillians with candy, flowers and dancing in the streets.)”
So you’re saying they’d be greeted as liberators? Well, I’ll at least give the Red Pill goons credit for thinking their invasion plans through slightly more than the Bush administration did.
If I thought this was going to result in anything other than a bunch of blokes whining on the internet, I’d start popping the popcorn and asking all the folks on the East Coast of Australia to please sit down in front, so those of us over here in Western Australia can get a decent view.
New Zealand has a population of roughly 10 million people, many of whom are farmers, or at least live in rural areas. They also have a culture that is obsessive about the outdoors, particularly contact sports.
So if they can get their 120,000 “soldiers” (omg lol) into the country, then smuggle 120,000 M16s with ammunition past one of the tightest customs programs in the world, they only have to contend with about 5 million rough and tough boys and girls who spent most of their lives playing rugby while weight lifting whole sheep.
They’ll have NZ under the Redpill flag by the weekend.
I’m fairly certain that two Maori gents in full war-paint would be enough to make all 120,000 of these invaders go “Oh shit! Actual Alphas!”, crap their pants and run away.