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Red Pill Redditors prepared to take New Zealand by force — using skills gained from Call of Duty

I'm pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly
I’m pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly

The lovely fellas in the Red Pill subreddit are up in (possibly imaginary) arms about a new anti-troll law that, they’re convinced, has made “the Red Pill … illegal in New Zealand.”

“This is blatant fascist censorship,” cries one outraged alpha male. “COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,” adds another.

But as Red Pill subreddit legend GayLubeOil explains, in reality the Red Pillers have nothing to fear. Because they could totally take New Zealand. Like, by force.

GayLubeOil 258 points 22 hours ago*  The Red Pill is 120 thousand fit college educated middle class men. If we really wanted to we could invade New Zealand and install a new government. We definitely have the manpower. There are plenty of veterans here. Plus everyone here knows where the magazine release is on an M16, from years of playing Call Of Duty.  Realistically the Red Pill Reaction Force would be far more effective than half the world's militaries. The Afghan military is fucked up on opium. The Iraqi army cant even do jumping jacks.. Plus New Zealand has only 8 thousand military personnel the majority of whom are useless paper pushers.  I don't actually support the violent overthrow of New Zealand. I just think its kind of a fun idea conceptualy.

You just hit the X button on the M-16 to reload it, right? Real guns have X buttons, right?

H/T — r/BestOfOutrageCulture, via 

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Danny Chameleon
Danny Chameleon
9 years ago

Also, I is now employed!

Yay! Congratulations!

autosoma
9 years ago

Oh these boys from the red pill, need to do this, even by fast container ship from Long Beach to Auckland it’s 18 days travel, plus an attack on New Zealand is an attack on the US cos of the ANZUS treaty, plus the Five Power Defence treaty means the UK can join in. I guess as they are all pasty basement dwellers then roughing it on a container ship is out of order, so they can hire a Disney Cruise Liner for the necessary comforts.

katz
katz
9 years ago

…Meant to say “Yay!”

sn0rkmaiden
9 years ago

Maybe they could sail over to NZ on rafts fashioned from old pizza boxes and empty beer cans?

However I believe most redpillers are more set of holing up in their own fortresses off grid than invading another nation.

sn0rkmaiden
9 years ago

@Sunny,

congratulations 🙂 I still think the bingo hall was the better option anyway. Good luck with getting the debts cleared.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
9 years ago

Okay, I’ve never been, but a very good friend of mine lived there for years and, from his stories, I’d be willing to put money on the New Zealanders in a fucking heartbeat.

Hey, RedPill, you think you can take on an incredibly prideful and insular island culture with a long legacy of vicious intertribal warfare? Yeah, go fucking right ahead and try.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

New Zealand doesn’t even lift.

Yes, but it got laid in Norway.

kyuubinokitsunehime
kyuubinokitsunehime
9 years ago

@EJ:

Thank you for turning all of New Zealand into ultra Chuck Norris land, that gave me a giggle.

I love that the response to this new law is to invade New Zealand, with people who can barely be bothered to complain on the internet. I wonder how they intend to get the supplies to carry out such an invasion? Oh wait they don’t they’re just blustering and saber rattling on the internet.

On the subject of the NZ law: I’m a little worried about how far they might try to extend their reach with this, or that other nations might follow, by pass similar legislation. I’m also wondering if this might cause social media sites to just deny service to New Zealand at this point by blocking IPs.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

The redpillians will simply build a few islands, stock them up with weapons, troops and games (because Rome wasn’t built in a day) then get some big long booms and pole the islands over the ocean

Like Birnam Wood, but more incompetent?

I once watched a CoD trailer and — not to brag or anything — in less than two minutes I learned which end of a gun goes bang.

Miss Andry
9 years ago

I can picture it now, a bunch of lonely guys “training” on Call of Duty, stockpiling Cheetos and Mountain Dew, donning their fedoras and marching out of their folks’ basements to invade a sovereign nation. Good luck with that.

autosoma
9 years ago

@kyuubi…(are you Finnish or Magyar????)

I’m not seeing much of an issue with social media sites geoip blocking Kiwi requests… It would free up their bandwidth for better things.

Miss Andry
9 years ago

I say this as a video game-playing, anime-watching geek, of course.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
9 years ago

Personally, I think it might be an important step towards finally murdering the “the internet isn’t real life” bullshit myth once and for all.

I’ve been saying it again and again, pieces of shit like these redpillians and GamerGate will kill internet anonymity forever, and it will have gotten so bad that people will be glad to lose that freedom.

P.Roberts
P.Roberts
9 years ago

The only Alpha way to invade is in Viking long boats…MGTOW can use canoes and invade as individuals.

katz
katz
9 years ago

I’m sure their invasion will go just as well as the first time white people tried to land in New Zealand.

Angelic
Angelic
9 years ago

120,000? Well that’s depressing as fuck.

kyuubinokitsunehime
kyuubinokitsunehime
9 years ago

@kyuubi…(are you Finnish or Magyar????)

I’m not seeing much of an issue with social media sites geoip blocking Kiwi requests… It would free up their bandwidth for better things.

@autosoma…(I’m neither, I’m an American. Where did you get the idea I might be Hungarian, or Finnish?)

I’m more concerned about it for the Kiwis who use the site. Although it would be interesting to see how a site hosted in the US might react to any legal action from NZ.

Who Knows (@ShiraMK)
9 years ago

“AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS”

Why you gotta be so hurtful, man? I hope no new zealander gets to read this, it could scar them for life. /s

makingfitzcarraldo
makingfitzcarraldo
9 years ago

That 120,000 is the star wars clone wars. Sock puppet clones. Their disembodied whining will creep out the poor new zealanders.

ikanreed
ikanreed
9 years ago

I just realized on this second reading: it’s the same “we outnumber and can defeat organized society with its rules and systems” delusion that you see on free republic. Just younger.

They think that there’s evil maneuvering to manipulate laws on the part of a small but skillfully manipulative minority. Rather than the much more easily recognized truth that their beliefs just aren’t that popular, particularly among the moderates who mostly don’t care about politics.

Danny Chameleon
Danny Chameleon
9 years ago

pieces of shit like these redpillians and GamerGate will kill internet anonymity forever, and it will have gotten so bad that people will be glad to lose that freedom.

Not will, has. Welcome the panopticon!

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

First and foremost: Congrats to Sunny!

As for the article, from an anime-loving, comic-book loving, gamer:comment image

This is the most ridiculous version of “Games are real life!” I’ve ever fucking seen.

It’s also extremely telling that they just openly said “This law that makes it so we can’t harass people makes our ideology illegal!”, and have not one fucking iota of self-awareness.

“COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,”

“You’re women with woman parts and your women can’t do one of the only things I think women are for!”

Wow. If you didn’t think they hated women before…

Though, it is silly that that was the thing that came to his fingers while he was typing. I know their brains can’t work properly in frothing rage mode, but holy shit.

spacelawn | July 2, 2015 at 11:32 am
Anyway, this guy seems to be joking, atleast i hope so. I guess after the people here have written 300 comments about it we’ll figure it out.

Days Since People Forgot What the Site is for (Mockery): 0

It doesn’t matter if zie was joking or not, it was still a stupendously dumb thing to say. Besides, isn’t the point of a joke to laugh at it?

LeeshaJoy
LeeshaJoy
9 years ago

I remember being firmly convinced that I was qualified to be a police officer because I beat the original “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” game.* But I was eight years old at the time. What’s their excuse?

* For the uninitiated, Carmen Sandiego was a video game franchise before it was a PBS game show.

Kakanian
Kakanian
9 years ago

I thought game guns are still being mirrored? Like even if video games had given them basic competence, they’d still have to completely re-train themselves on the actual weapon.

Never mind that the guy who wrote that claptrap certainly never shot a gun in his goddamn life.

Misha
Misha
9 years ago

I want to know what skills I’ve gained from RPGs. Tactical thinking? But from my hours of playing Legend of Zelda games I can confirm that I am an expert at the hookshot.

I’ve been trying to tell people for years that I’m a Master Detective. Every hidden object game I’ve ever completed tells me so. Take that, haters.

By redpillian logic I’m also a hotwiring expert, chocobo rider, x-wing pilot, zombie apocalypse survivor and blue hedgehog.

My CV looks AWESOME.