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Red Pill Redditors prepared to take New Zealand by force — using skills gained from Call of Duty

I'm pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly
I’m pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly

The lovely fellas in the Red Pill subreddit are up in (possibly imaginary) arms about a new anti-troll law that, they’re convinced, has made “the Red Pill … illegal in New Zealand.”

“This is blatant fascist censorship,” cries one outraged alpha male. “COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,” adds another.

But as Red Pill subreddit legend GayLubeOil explains, in reality the Red Pillers have nothing to fear. Because they could totally take New Zealand. Like, by force.

GayLubeOil 258 points 22 hours ago*  The Red Pill is 120 thousand fit college educated middle class men. If we really wanted to we could invade New Zealand and install a new government. We definitely have the manpower. There are plenty of veterans here. Plus everyone here knows where the magazine release is on an M16, from years of playing Call Of Duty.  Realistically the Red Pill Reaction Force would be far more effective than half the world's militaries. The Afghan military is fucked up on opium. The Iraqi army cant even do jumping jacks.. Plus New Zealand has only 8 thousand military personnel the majority of whom are useless paper pushers.  I don't actually support the violent overthrow of New Zealand. I just think its kind of a fun idea conceptualy.

You just hit the X button on the M-16 to reload it, right? Real guns have X buttons, right?

H/T — r/BestOfOutrageCulture, via 

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jillhorton
9 years ago

If they actually try it I’m going to need popcorn and some twizzlers.

Hypnotosov
Hypnotosov
9 years ago

If your community´s very existence is threatened by anti-troll laws it´s time to rethink your life choices.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

360 NOSCOPE BLAZE IT. [snoopdogg.gif]

(Note to Reddit admins: I’m preeetty sure this is a good way to get your unwashed porta-potty of a hate site in legal trouble.)

Tore
Tore
9 years ago

New Zealand doesn’t even lift.

Josh
Josh
9 years ago

So the logic of this is “By virtue of playing Call of Duty, we can do better than people who have actually been trained to fight in a war zone!”

justinebonczek
9 years ago

Omg this is wonderfully precious. It reminds me of an older comment that was featured on this website about GamerGate being an “organized army” based on their ability to conduct raids on World of Warcraft.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

How would the red pill army get to NZ. They can’t take an arsenal on planes. They don’t have a navy. It’s a lot easier to defend your own country than take and hold another. Plus, other militaries would certainly pitch in to defend NZ.

So even if the idea that they could invade a small country based on video games wasn’t completely ridiculous, they really didn’t think through the logistics.

Johanna Roberts
9 years ago

I hope they remember to invert the x axis or they’re not going to be able to hit jack.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Besides, how can they be so sure lots of people in NZ don’t have Call of Duty training?

sarah
sarah
9 years ago

I’m still chuckling. That kitteh meme is epic.

Fit, college educated, middle class males? I’m deeply suspicious about that statement. I imagine New Zealand is safe. From red pill alphas anyway.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

Wait a second.

The bill covers posts that are racist, sexist, or show religious intolerance, along with hassling people over disability or sexual orientation.

There’s also a new offence of incitement to suicide (three years’ jail).

The Red Pill now illegal in New Zealand.

So, Captain Brain Trust just admitted that the Red Pill consists entirely of bigotry, bullying, hate speech and death threats. So much for their half-assed “Third-party trolls!!!1” excuses.

Johanna Roberts
9 years ago

I mean y axis. You know, the up and down one. ME SMARTZ.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

I’d say, ‘Go for it, boys… er, uber-manly alpha men!’ I’ll bring popcorn.

Karl
Karl
9 years ago

Just wondering how they’re going to get 120,000 M16s into New Zealand?

Or do they believe they just need to send a scout in to set up a spawn point that they’ll all materialize at?

Aura
Aura
9 years ago

Cool. Let’s put them all on a boat to navigate their way across the Pacific to New Zealand. That should take care of things nicely.

I’d worry about New Zealand if I thought any of them would actually make it there in “fighting” condition… or at all.

spacelawn
9 years ago

The magazine release will drop the magazine. That’s it. Then you gotta now how to reload and fire it to.

Anyway, this guy seems to be joking, atleast i hope so. I guess after the people here have written 300 comments about it we’ll figure it out.

Kimstu
Kimstu
9 years ago

If it really did somehow come to a showdown between the NZDF and redpillers, I’d be betting on the approximately 10K (counting active duty and reserves) actual NZ military personnel with, you know, actual military equipment against the allegedly 120K “fit college educated middle class men” of redpill every time.

Especially considering that NZ is a remote island nation on the other side of the globe. What would the redpillers do, pool their pocket change to buy a few secondhand troop transport vessels? Does Call of Duty teach you how to pilot those too?

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

P.S. And while at it, you may want to tackle ISIS.

Surely such a manly men’s RP Force contingent would dismantle ISIS in a jiffy, wouldn’t it. And if Trump joins them, ISIS is toast in less time than you can ask ‘But do you even lift, bro?’

pecunium
pecunium
9 years ago

Oh man, trust me on how wrong they are.

Just knowing how to drop the mag makes one competent with a rifle?

It’s not as if the M16 isn’t a notoriously cranky weapon, and immediate action drills, reloading, takedown, cleaning, reassembly, etc. might be useful.

It’s not as if it has to be zeroed in, so the shooter hits what’s being aimed at.

Nope, it’s all about pushing the button.

Idiot reminds me of the fool who asserted to me (and another soldier) that modern soldiers are so trained (from video games) that they aren’t scared when the shooting starts.

Moron.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
9 years ago

The comments, oh, the comments…

My favorite – so far; it’s hard to choose, frankly – is,

“Your feelings end where my intellectual expression begins.”

LOLz. There are not enough ‘I can’t evens.’

AbsintheDexterous
AbsintheDexterous
9 years ago

COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK P**Y C**S, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS

I…is this the best that he can do? I mean, it’s got a “fuck you and the horse you rode in on” quality to it, but it’s still really silly. Not even “they’re a bunch of wh*res”? Like saying that they’re shitty cooks was the worst possible insult that he could think of right then?

“COME AT ME BRO, AND FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SHE CAN’T DUST”

I’m still laughing at this. The Men’s [Only For Certain White Male] Human Rights Movement, which doles out unintentional comedy but also intentional rape threats.

apeculiarpersonage
apeculiarpersonage
9 years ago

I seriously doubt that 120 thousand MRAs in total, even counting the ones that aren’t fit or college educated.

katz
katz
9 years ago

They haven’t even tackled Puerto Rico yet and they’re already going for New Zealand? What is it with these guys and islands?

BritterSweet
9 years ago

Little flaws in their plan: Running around in a fight makes you tired, especially if you’re weighed down by your weapons and (limited) ammo. One hit is enough to kill you. When you die, you never respawn. And quoth MC Lars: “Beating Call of Duty doesn’t mean your aim is good.”

ikanreed
ikanreed
9 years ago

Ha, they think TRP is made up of fit college educated men.

Classic.

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