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Red Pill Redditors prepared to take New Zealand by force — using skills gained from Call of Duty

I'm pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly
I’m pretty sure this cat could take out the entire Red Pill subreddit single-pawedly

The lovely fellas in the Red Pill subreddit are up in (possibly imaginary) arms about a new anti-troll law that, they’re convinced, has made “the Red Pill … illegal in New Zealand.”

“This is blatant fascist censorship,” cries one outraged alpha male. “COME AT ME YOU FUCKING DUMBFUCK PUSSY CUNTS, AND FUCK YOUR WIVES, THEY’RE SHITTY COOKS,” adds another.

But as Red Pill subreddit legend GayLubeOil explains, in reality the Red Pillers have nothing to fear. Because they could totally take New Zealand. Like, by force.

GayLubeOil 258 points 22 hours ago*  The Red Pill is 120 thousand fit college educated middle class men. If we really wanted to we could invade New Zealand and install a new government. We definitely have the manpower. There are plenty of veterans here. Plus everyone here knows where the magazine release is on an M16, from years of playing Call Of Duty.  Realistically the Red Pill Reaction Force would be far more effective than half the world's militaries. The Afghan military is fucked up on opium. The Iraqi army cant even do jumping jacks.. Plus New Zealand has only 8 thousand military personnel the majority of whom are useless paper pushers.  I don't actually support the violent overthrow of New Zealand. I just think its kind of a fun idea conceptualy.

You just hit the X button on the M-16 to reload it, right? Real guns have X buttons, right?

H/T — r/BestOfOutrageCulture, via 

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sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
9 years ago

Dammit I KNOW I’m not supposed to feed the blockquote mammoth. My bad.

ryeash
9 years ago

@EJ

Woooo, Black & White!! I loved those games so much, and it’s like no one else has even heard of them. I wish I had a decent PC so I could play them again; From Dust was the closest thing I could find on console, but it’s nowhere near as good.

As for the Red Pill Army, I’ve gotten pretty good at fighting huge groups of goons. Might need to heal up a bit between waves, but I usually stay well-stocked on potions. Better a few less inventory slots than finding out that you haven’t saved in two hours and have to redo all that progress, amirite?

But seriously, I’m the goddamn Inquisitor. I have an army of my own. How are your M-16s against MAGIC??

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

I just realized I could solve the entire drought in California with two buckets of water. Just make a square hole, put the water in two opposite corners, and BOOM. Infinite water. Thanks Minecraft!

Also, I want to do a mockery of the new Batman movies where all of Batman’s lines are done in a cute, cartoony, squeaky voice.

Falconer
9 years ago

@PI:

We can’t all be Batman, you guiz.

No, but we can be Batman, Inc. !!

Pavlov's House
Pavlov's House
9 years ago

Yeah, OK, I admit i find it interesting when this blog touches on military issues, which is sometimes does….and, yeah, I would kind of like to read through the debate on Hirohito’s complicity (an important historiographic issue in WWII scholarship)…but the main subject of the post – a bunch of videogame players who think they could take New Zealand as Filibusterers (I mean Filibusterers in the original nineteenth-century sense, which has nothing to do with speeches in the U.S Senate)….good f-ing God. I cannot bring myself to actually write what should be written. If some of you have the patience to do so,, more power to you.

Raggin’ on the NZDF? *@#$! Off!

The country that produced the only combat soldier to have behind his name “V.C and Bar”?!?!?! Seriously?

Or, look, redditor game-playin’ wussies: two words that should END any debate now.

MONTE CASINO.

F*@# off reditor game-playin’ wussies. Get away from your computer, join a real-life army and learn some damn history.

P.S. No disrespect to Wojsko Polskie on the Casino comment – I know there’s debate about whose forces were actually first in the monastery. I respect history, traditions and accomplishments of all Allied forces.

————————
Note to David when deciding to post/let through – this post is not nonsense – please consider importance of all historical references. Thank you. If the invective is too much for you, heck, edit that out before you just can it. But maybe you’ll agree the invective is deserved.

maistrechat
9 years ago
Reply to  Pavlov's House

I once knew a Marine who upon returning from deployment in Iraq announced that the only thing more terrifying than Australian soldiers was the ones from NZ.

Psycho Gecko
9 years ago

Yes, the Afghan military is such a pushover. I’m sure a few people who play videogames can do what the U.S.A. and USSR, the only two superpowers on earth armed with billions of dollars of equipment and millions of soldiers, couldn’t.

The jokes on the MRAs, though. The Afghan men already share their values about women.

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