Today, another little treasure from the trash pile — that is, a comment someone left here but that I decided not to let through but which I have since decided might be worth sharing with the world.
This particular commenter — an excitable Man Going His Own Way reacting to my post Women are overpriced vagina buses that won’t let you ride them — has a bit of a fixation on a certain word that starts with “C,” which he managed to use 14 times in his tl;dr rant.
I’ve taken the liberty of cutting out boring stuff, breaking up his wall of text into paragraphs, and highlighting some of my favorite bits. And, in the interest of making the world a slightly nicer place, I’ve replaced each instance of the word “cunt” with “bundt cake.” Who doesn’t like cake?
Let’s see what Poltergeist1981 has to say, shall we?
Wow – look at all the bundt cake-hurt on this comment section! Nothing but baseless statements, Strawmen, and a myriad of other logical fallacies combined with emotional trauma. Not amazed or surprised through, bundt cakes hate it when you call them out on their bundt cake bullshit, especially if they are biased feminazi bundt cakes. …
Damn. I’m hungry already.
What are the feminists doing now? Complaining about how men sit? Man Spreading they call it? Give me a fucking break you bundt cakes – we have something in between our legs that makes it uncomfortable to sit like you do! It’s too bad you can’t grow a cock and pair of balls to understand that, but none the less what a pathetic fucking group it has become.
Ah, manspreading. If what I’ve seen is any indication, the overwhelming majority of the talk about “manspreading” has come from men who are absolutely furious that anyone could possibly suggest that maybe they shouldn’t take up more than one seat on a crowded subway. With all the talk about the possible harm to their allegedly HUGE BALLS, it’s almost as though they’re afraid of some sort of symbolic castration.
Angry dudes: some people with cocks and balls as big as yours manage do this on a regular basis — in part to avoid getting harassed or worse by transphobes — so quit your bellyaching about having to keep your legs together for a few minutes on the subway.
Feminists need to fuck off about the first world – you have more than your fair share of human rights (way more than men now) – and need to start focusing on the middle east where they still force bundt cakes to wear burkas or however / whatever you call them.
Spoken like a real expert on gender in the Middle East. Are you by chance Richard Dawkins?
Do they really focus on that though? No – they focus on bullshit like man-spreading. You want to know why? Because first world bundt cakes are superficial – idiotic – and are only good for what is between their legs, and half of you aren’t even good for that now – fucking STD infected land whales.
Uh, if these “land whales” aren’t even “good for” sex now, how is it that so many of them (at least in your imagination) have managed to get Sexually Transmitted Diseases?
Put the fork fucking down and close your fucking legs.
I would say “or” rather than “and” here. Nothing wrong with forks, or with sex, but combining the two may not be the best idea. You could put an eye out.
[A]ll you bundt cake are so extremely superficial, fucked up, nasty, no morals, can’t fucking cook, can’t fucking clean, just overall good for nothing, and you’re only good for sex assuming your bundt cake is clean and you’re not a fucking whale.
True, a clean bundt cake is preferable to a dirty one.
[I]t’s not that we can’t get laid – it’s because we just don’t want it from you anymore – it’s not worth our trouble.
I get more enjoyment from fucking a fleshlight to my favorite porn now than going through the trouble of being with some boring good for nothing / nasty / etc bundt cake to then eventually bust a nut with.
That poor, poor Fleshlight.
Also why would I or any of us want to have a “deep / intimate / close” relationship with you? You are not interesting, fun, uplifting, or anything what women USED to be back during the days where traditional conservative women were the norm.
I’m sure women who were systematically denied education were much more interesting conversationalists.
You say that “patriarchy” forced them to be that way when really, they simply just had more class than you.
Uh, that’s not how things work.
Myself? 32 yrs old, Never married – 0 kids – make over 100k / year doing java programming, 0 STDs, Great body work out every day, Near perfect credit, awesome house, Ferrari (not an expensive one a modest one I got for a great price :D), and a PC master race gaming habit i’ll never leave.
Gosh, an angry MGTOW who’s a computer programmer and gaming enthusiast who thinks it’s hilarious to refer to himself as part of the “master race.” Way to dismantle the stereotypes, dude!
I love my life. Why should I fuck it up with marriage.
I’ll agree with you on this one. Do not fuck up your life — or, more to the point, anyone else’s — by getting married
I look at things like an economic transaction when it comes to women.
Boy, there’s a shock.
When you consider myself – the value I have will continue to grow as I get older – i’ll continue you make more and more money, and increase my market value.
Now take a woman – when it comes to most of you the only thing you’re really only good for is what is between your legs and your looks. That is what I consider a depreciating asset since eventually your looks will fade. Why should I have to MARRY you? No what I will do though – I will lease you. When our contract is up – I’ll replace you with a newer model.
Wait, weren’t you just declaring that women are worthless, and singing the praises of your Fleshlight? And now you’re bragging about “leasing” young hotties with your Java money? Money that could be spent on Steam, or on a replacement Fleshlight? You’re going your own way SO HARD that you brag about bribing women into having sex with you?
You ask who will take care of me when I get sick? My new model or you if you have not depreciated enough to be replaced at such a time. I will ALWAYS have a replacement..
Yes, keep telling yourself that.
Now if I found a woman that actually has many values / morals / etc that is worth keeping around – EVEN THEN – I would still not marry her. Why? Because a woman like that probably ALREADY has a job that pays really well, she can take care of herself, she does not need my money – she would be seeing me because we have mutual interests and SHE IS INTERESTING and not superficial –
I shudder at the thought of a women who has “mutual interests” with you, given that your main interest seems to be calling women “cunts” on the internet.
BUT SHE HAS ALL THIS MONEY??!?! So why should I risk losing HALF OF MY SHIT to a woman who is making as much IF NOT MORE money as myself? Where is the logic in that shit?
We don’t care if you don’t marry. I’d much prefer you didn’t.
Honestly until the laws that fuck guys financially GO AWAY from drivoces go the way of the dinosaur – MGTOW 4 fucking life. Fuck that shit.
And now we’ve reached the part of the rant in which the ranter descends into gibbering incoherence.
I would like to ask some of you bundt cakes. Is your pussy worth my life? Is it? I seriously fucking doubt it – and to the those who say Yes – it is – fuck off and die – you are what is wrong with the world and women today mmmkaY? kkthxbai
MGTOW 4 life, bundt cakes.
Bundt cake for life, MGTOWs!
Wow, this needs an “MGTOW bingo card”. (I broke it up to compare to David’s post per paragraph)
I could go on, but holy Katie, that’s a lot of unpacking to do.
I did look up the MRA one, and I didn’t get a bingo on either one though. Sad face.
I just had the ugliest of Viking Laughs that dissolved into Stereotypical Witchy Cackling. Thank you so much.
None of the people I know who work as computer scientists or software engineers would describe what they do as “java programming” even if their jobs involve coding exclusively in Java.
The master race thing is supposed to be ironic, it was a joke made by Yatzee about how PC gamers tend to be elitist pricks. Sadly, no-one seems to have gotten the joke.
Kind of like how atheists use the word “sheeple” unironically. : P
I find that people who use phrases like “PC Master Race” or “sheeple” or “misandry” as deadly serious are people to avoid.
He’s bragging about earning $100k writing Java. Hell, I would brag too. That’s an actively difficult niche to get into. For that sort of money you can hire a C engineer; if all you want is a Java monkey you can get them far cheaper.
A thirty two year old programmer who makes US$100K and thinks he’s a Master of the Universe? Well, sir, you just go on living.
At least we know that he’s not in Silicon Valley, because that income will NOT get you a house there.
I think my favorite part of this whole screed is how hard he’s working to try to convince people that he is totally happy with his awesome life. It’s kind of funny in a completely non-believable way.
[Nostalgia for something that didn’t exist] rears it’s head again.
@sheehank
The fact that PC gaming > all other platforms in no way justifies the use of terminology that purposefully excludes poc.
He sounds like a poor man’s Christian Grey.
People who call themselves “Java programmers” (rather than just “programmers”) are usually self-taught and managed to find some type of programming work. Silicon Valley companies would prefer someone with a bachelor’s or master’s degree in computer science who can learn new languages quickly and adapt to new technologies (and yeah, probably for much less than $100K).
What is a fleshlight? I’m scared to google it.
Also really want cake now, which is destroying my chances of losing weight and not being a land whale so I can be leased to this super guy!
First off, if feminists were to try to focus on problems in the Middle East, MGTOW would complain that they’re throwing men under the bus there too.
Second, let’s assume, for the sake or argument, that women really are as bad as he says. Hiring a “model”, as he puts, would probably be the worst thing he could do, seeing, by MGTOW logic, she would find a way to falsely accuse him of rape at some point, in which case, he would either go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit or spend years and a large amount of money to get acquitted. He would be better off having medical supplies at hand, a effective means of transportation to go to the doctor and a list of contacts in case something goes wrong.
So much for MGTOW being the smart ones. It really says something that I could probably go my own way better than these clowns.
I think you’re a bit confused about how this works, son. You know that “trading models” business? It’s about trading out wives. That picking up new wives on a whim was a common enough practice to name should be enough to convince you that marriage was very much rigged in favor of men until quite recently, and still is in some cases, but never mind that. The important thing to note is that this is where your whole “no marriage” plan falls apart.
That kind young woman doting on an asshole in his old age is his third wife. And she cares for her because, as a married woman, tradition demands it, but also because when he croaks she gets his stuff. Your third mistress is not going to take care of you, I’m afraid.
Goodness, that is one angry person. I am not saying “man”, because he sounds like he is 16 if that, with a rich fantasy life. He should keep going his own way, as you say.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this dude doesn’t actually make 100k a year. That’s a nice, round figure though, isn’t it? If he actually makes 100k, then I’m the Pope.
(I’m actually not the Pope.)
Sarah: A fleshlight is a sex toy for men. The base model is a metal tube lined with latex on the inside, and I assume some sort of gel between the latex and the outer tube. It’s used exactly how you think it’d be used.
I’ve heard tell of models with, like, attached speakers that spout randomized phrases to help the imagination-impaired. Also, some get mounted into RealDolls and that sort of thing.
For someone with an absurdly vanilla sex life, I know way too much about some of this stuff…
********
Honestly, that seems to be the case with most of them. They don’t seem to get any pleasure out of the act; instead, it’s all about ‘being alpha’ enough to get the girl in the first place, and so forth. It’s about conquest and dominance, not about enjoyment or fulfillment. It’s also far more about gaining status with their peers than it is about forging any sort of relationship with a partner, or even about just enjoying someone else’s company on a purely physical level. The apparent belief is that if they aren’t demeaning a woman, there’s no point.
It’s just that pathetic, really.
This is the kind of man so common in my job field 🙁
Bundt cakes! Now I’m craving one with a light icing–perhaps lemon or orange flavor…
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPvO53JHnmY&w=560&h=315%5D
Wow, for the man who has everything (except bundt cake) he certainly seems very upset.
Oh, and… I have a deep, dark confession to make.
I don’t care for bundt cake, very much. It’s almost always too dry for my tastes.
I know, I’m a horrible, horrible person.
To all MGTOWs: Just keep going – as far away from the rest of us as possible…
@freemage
I don’t like bundt cake either for the same reason.
If they hate us so much, if they can’t stand women and/or feminists, why don’t they go their own way already? Preferably by taking a long walk off a short pier, as the kids say. But really, what’s the point of going your own way if you’re just going to snipe at people you hate online?
As a San Francisco software developer (who lurks but usually doesn’t comment):
1) 100k ain’t shit around here if you have a CS degree, but depending on where he lives maybe it’s impressive even mid-career?
2) “Java programmers” are the worst. If you describe yourself as a “Java programmer”, you are telling me that Java is the only language you know and your brain breaks if you encounter a concept that Java doesn’t do well. (Java programmers with self-respect call themselves “full-stack” or “backend” or “JVM” developers.)
3) I’m pretty sure a 32-year-old man bragging about his hardcore PC gaming habit is still pathetic, even if he is a developer.
4) But he does claim to own a used Ferrari, so there’s that?