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On this most epic of Pride Weekends, MRA Paul Elam welcomes gays “to the gallows”

Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage nationwide, celebrates yesterday in Cincinnati with his attorney
Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage nationwide, celebrates yesterday in Cincinnati with his attorney (not Dr. Gonzo)

Pride parades are a bit more fabulous than usual this Pride Weekend, on the heels of the Supreme Court ruling making gay marriage legal across the United States.

A Voice for Men “CEO” Paul Elam is using the occasion as an opportunity to “warn” unwary gay marriers that they may be embarking on “a trip to the gallows.”

Elam, you see, considers himself a bit of an expert on marriages — possibly because he’s had so many of them himself — and wants gays to know that marriage is terrible and that their celebrations this weekend will ring hollow once they end up in divorce court.

After acknowledging that, sure, laws should apply equally to gays and non-gays alike, he offers up this disconcerting toast to all the potential new marriers:

I will say congratulations to the gay community.

And welcome to the governmental tyranny over your lives with the rest of us.

NOTE TO ALL POTENTIAL BRIDES AND GROOMS: Whether you are gay or straight or something else, don’t invite Paul Elam to your wedding.

Elam delivers up a patronizing lecture to “the gay community,” complete with a nasty little aside suggesting that adopted children are all “damaged.”

Instead of less government intrusion in their private lives, the gay community has just seen the floodgates open. They will start figuring it out when the divorces start rolling in, especially for couples with adopted children and one crazy spouse. It will be even worse for gay parents. Adopted children are already damaged from some form of abandonment. A follow-up of dose parental alientation is hardly what they need.

It is exactly what many of them will get.

Elam predicts that gay men — he seems to have forgotten about lesbians — will end up joining him in his “foxhole” once they realize just how right he is and how thoughtless “their cause” has been.

I support the right of every gay man to be treated no differently by society or under the law than anyone else. So in a system that sucks, and laws that suck, and the beatings they and their children will take I will be happy to make room in the foxhole right alongside the rest of us.

Perhaps a generation or two in the trenches of family law will convince them a little more thought should be put into their cause.

Somehow I doubt it. After all, more than a few in the Men’s Rights movement have trouble understanding just why gay people get together at all. In their minds, after all, most relationships between men and women are all about “privileged females” extracting resources from their own private “disposable males.”

But what if both of them are dudes?

Dun dun DUUUUUUH!
Dun dun DUUUUUUH!

In the comments to Elam’s article, regular AVFM contributor Tom Golden — described in his bio on the site as “a psychotherapist specializing in men and boys’ issues [and] a member of Warren Farrell’s proposed White House Council on Boys and Men” — asks a classic ignorant question:

So who will play the role of the male? How will the family court hyenas decide who will get the shaft? Maybe money will be the factor? The lawyers will favor he who has more wampum? Then again maybe since they are both males they will both get the shaft?

Someone calling himself Clear Thinker offered up a wall of text, which I’ve taken the liberty of breaking into paragraphs, with especially, er, “clear” thinking bolded.

The only solution to Gay Marriage IS Gay Divorce.

In Ontario it has been a bit of a(trigger alert) sniggering disgrace, the activities of the Gay community, but now they are finding out what it is to be truly miserable. No longer will they be able to trade one boy toy for another, once they put a ring on his finger, or other appendage.

The rich old Queen’s of Toronto will now face what heterosexual men have known for 30 years in our Province … You will pay alimony to your husband or wife or whatever it is you call it. If you have adopted children, which is all the rage these days, the courts will hand over the children to the mentally ill partner, as this is what they do today and yesterday to the men of real marriage.

Now you will have real marriage, and you will be toast.

Imagine our jails filled with gay deadbeat dads who wont pay the court ordered baksheesh demanded by the boy toy. Guys you have been warned, Lesbian women, no one cares, you don’t have any money, and if a judge can figure out which one of you is the most crazy, then that one will win.

Welcome to the real world of family law, and if you are in a fight, YOU WILL DO all that you can, to crush the one you said you loved. Call me in 5 years and tell me how right I was/am. America, read, learn, then laugh. This disaster for gay men is on its’ way to them right now.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before gay men flock to you guys for answers.

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Danny Chameleon
Danny Chameleon
5 years ago

@baroncognito
I really don’t see how it is more racist than, say, “hacksilver” or “dollars”.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I see MRAs are the last people in the universe who are still going “But if a dude marries another dude, who wears the pants?”

I can just visualize the MRAsshat heads exploding if it’s two gay Scotsmen who decide to say their vows in kilts.

Danny Chameleon
Danny Chameleon
5 years ago

@Bina
Not that I fetishize kilts, but I was soooooooo just about to say the same thing.

Fabe
Fabe
5 years ago

Miss Andry, thanks for posting that ‘attack on titian’ Gif. I saved it and hope to be able to use it soon

Shalimar
Shalimar
5 years ago

Has Rick Scarborough set himself on fire yet? I don’t mind a little Elam for distraction, but I’m mostly biding time before the weenie roast.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

I wonder how long it will take for these types to figure out that most gay people most people are actually pretty boring and just go about their lives with their families amd loved ones…

…probably never.

They seem like they make everything into an epic battle (in their minds, at least).
It must be exhausting.

katz
5 years ago

I wonder how long it will take for these types to figure out that most gay people most people are actually pretty boring and just go about their lives with their families amd loved ones…

Bringing to mind the classic Horsey cartoon.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/98e8519e66b1e81a2b5380f0e60c33d5/tumblr_n6hqijxGEE1rg6wzxo1_1280.jpg

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Not that I fetishize kilts, but I was soooooooo just about to say the same thing.

Not that I do either, but this is soooooooo obligatory:
comment image

And we all know what they wear underneath them, right?

http://api.ning.com/files/gLRz0qCeA0WzoVI2st0ODVigcOmXy-sRIZ2Mra-8bmd60Uh6NVvvtTuGhX*0PjfQEJH4lh639jEo8Rg8sqShT75ItrkbDDF8/KiltedKitty.jpg

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

Has Rick Scarborough set himself on fire yet? I don’t mind a little Elam for distraction, but I’m mostly biding time before the weenie roast.

As expected, he backpedaled like a stunt unicyclist.

https://www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2015/06/27/texas-pastor-now-says-he-didnt-mean-hed-really-set-himself-afl

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Katz,
The “think of the children! How do I explain teh gays to the children!” line of reasoning is always so laughable. I grew up across the street from a lesbian couple. I was friends with their daughter and their nieces. They were friends with my parents. It was not confusing or scary for me. Why? Because nobody made a big thing about it. They were treated no differently from any other family in the neighborhood. Because they weren’t really different. Since the adults didn’t care, I didn’t, and the other kids didn’t. Kids learn homophobia. They aren’t born with it.

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

Not to question the wisdom of ClearnThinker, but I suspect that blatant homophobia isn’t the best way to convince gay men to join their cause.

TheLurker
TheLurker
5 years ago

This whole argument that Elam is making reminds me of a post on the Red Pill where a guy was saying that marriage equality is going to “bite SJW’s in the ass” because apparently the courts won’t know who should pay alimony and *gasp* feemales might have to pay alimony! The horror!

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

They should be celebrating. Marriage between lesbians offers the MRAs an opportunity to finally be right! If it breaks up, then there’s definitely always a woman to blame. 🙂

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger yep, kids defo learn homophobia. When that song ‘Same Love’ came out a while ago – my very young son asked me what ‘gay’ was. So I explained in terms of boyfriends and girlfriends and girlfriends and girlfriends. He was like “oh ok”. And then asked if he knew anyone who was gay. I then rolled off a list of names. A good proportion of the adult women he knows…. It was all very chill. He doesn’t happen to have any [out?] gay men who play a role in his life – so we’ll see if that plays out differently later.

LordCrowstaff
LordCrowstaff
5 years ago

All this in two sentences: Ha, now these men too will face the tyranny of the state. But also they’re HOMOS *snicker*

Apparently it’s Men’s Homophobic Rights Movement.

Ellesar
Ellesar
5 years ago

Marriage isn’t compulsory. Now that same sex marriage is legal in the US it still isn’t compulsory. Something these guys seem to have missed.

I am guessing that all the bollocks about how gay men will suffer the same way as hetero men do in marriage will only apply to the ‘real’ man in the relationship! This apparently is the only way these bozos can envisage a same sex marriage between men.

I am surprised they did not mention lesbians more, as we are the only ones birthing children in a same sex relationship/ marriage, and as we are all apparently ‘crazy’ surely there would already be evidence of our horribly damaged kids (there isn’t, the little research done shows that children of lesbian parents do just fine)!

So, as usual, logic fails from the dudebros.

boogerghost
boogerghost
5 years ago

I’m sorry Paul, but you’re reaching. This version of the story kind of crumbles without the whole “feminists ruin everything with female greed and hatred” part. Like, I guess I should give him props for not using the f-word? But you know he’s thinking it. Maybe I should give him more credit, but this is as far as I can take his previously expressed MRA logic:

1. All non-straight people are gay dudes, probably cis.

2. All gay parents adopted.

3. Adopted kids are double fucked-up.

4. Family courts and the government in general are run by hijinks-loving jólasveinarnir* feminists intent on causing as much chaos as possible.

5. Or possibly they want to break up the gay marriages so women can marry all the gay men because all the “good ones” are gay..? And women are threatened by having fewer men to control? Um, I’m doing my best here.

*Icelandic mythical Christmas figures who like to wreak havoc and fuck with people for no reason, also sometimes deliver gifts.

LordCrowstaff
LordCrowstaff
5 years ago

@boogerghost: to be honest, that kinda DOES sound like government.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@boogerghost
That word fascinates me but I have no idea how to say it. Could you rewrite it in phonetic English? 🙂

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

@TheLurker – Which is funny, because I know two women who are currently paying alimony and child support to their ex-husbands.

It’salmon as if courts look at family dynamics and how transience in the support of one spouse’s career in determining these things.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

It’s almost, et al.

On my phone @ my husband’s grandparent’s house.

Only my phone, no WiFi, so sad.

davidknewton
davidknewton
5 years ago

He’s so absolutely incensed that anyone might be happy.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

Good to see that Paul Elam has his eye on untapped sources of revenue men with potential to be done wrong by The System. “Bring your ‘damaged’ kids and join me in the foxhole” is such a sensitive and concrete offer of assistance, too. I’m sure that AVfM is just drowning in messages of gratitude.

DonVoyage
5 years ago

@Nequam it’s for better that he doesn’t set himself on fire, he wastes enough oxygen as it is.

I just feel sorry for those christisns being driven into hiding by the Gay Reich and those patriots having their copies of “Gone with the Wind” stolen /s

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I just love how Paulie ASSumes that the government never had an opportunity to interfere in LGBT+ people’s lives until now. Um, hello, systemic discrimination! What is that, if NOT governmental interference? This is just the first of its many dominoes to fall.

spacelawn
5 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

Is weirwoodtreehugger3 your handle on gawker?

Falconer
5 years ago

Men’s Human Rights Activists, everybody.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Spacelawn,
Yes it is.

meeg
meeg
5 years ago

Elam so badly wants everyone else to suffer the loneliness he has to endure as a consequence of his abusive behavior. I’m sorry your marriages didn’t work out dude, but don’t take it out on us.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Nice how the OP assumes every serious relationship decision gay people make is frivolous, impulsive, and driven by the whims of fashion…

No longer will they be able to trade one boy toy for another

If you have adopted children, which is all the rage these days

Kids are the new black!

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

davidknewton | June 29, 2015 at 8:19 am
He’s so absolutely incensed that anyone might be happy.

I’ve noticed that with most (if not all) of the anti-SSM people. It’s like they can’t bear the thought of other people that they’ll never meet or come into contact with being happy in a way they don’t personally approve of. And then they claim “Religious freedom!” like the people they’re discriminating against don’t also have the same fucking right.

Someone said once that being against SSM because of your religion is like being angry that someone, somewhere is having a doughnut while you’re on a diet.

If you don’t like the idea of gay marriage, don’t fucking have one. Let us queer folk who are happy that we now have the opportunity be happy and go do our own thing. It has no bearing on your life at all.

And yet, these are the same people who complain when “the government” come in and “tell them what to do”. Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle, meet a hypocritical bag of snot and spite.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

And then they claim “Religious freedom!” like the people they’re discriminating against don’t also have the same fucking right.

SOP for right-wingers.

Harassing women? Freedom of speech! Speaking out against harassment? Tiananmen Square all over again!

Boycotting pro-LGBT+ companies? Invisible hand of the free market! Boycotting anti-LGBT+ companies? Big Daddy Government regulations!

Etc.

ColeYote
ColeYote
5 years ago

> In Ontario it has been a bit of a(trigger alert) sniggering disgrace, the activities of the Gay community

What, because we don’t welcome you shitheads to our parades?

Patti
Patti
5 years ago

Sounds like Clear Thinker should have been a little more careful in choosing a spouse.

Peaches
Peaches
5 years ago

Yeah, Paul really does want to share his misery with everyone. And boy that comment about who is the ‘man’ cracked me up.

But I will say this: My blood sugar started going up a few weeks ago, so now I’m doing the low-carb vegetarian thing (I already was a vegetarian). I AM angry at the thought someone might be eating a doughnut! But you know, I’ll get over it.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

@Peaches Have you seen the new diet donuts? They just cut a hole out in the center.

Iogrey
Iogrey
5 years ago

“Clear Thinker” (lol) probably thinks lesbians have no money because they don’t have a man to mooch off of.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

So, I come here sometime and can’t even. Then my only reply to a topic that depresses me is an awful pun. I don’t mean to make light of the issue, but I am all odds by that point.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Off topic: John Oliver had a pretty good segment, I think, on transgender issues.

(Also, opium, I snerked.)

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

I noticed how Clear Thinker used “boy toy” twice. Apparently he believes that marriages between gay men follow the pattern he imagines straight couples follow, with one adult (the Man) and one cunning parasite (the Not Man). That’s more repulsive than I would have expected; most of the couples I know – including mine – are far more egalitarian than that. Not that that would be difficult.

Criticaldragon1177
5 years ago

David Futrelle,

Paul Elam only thinks that gay men made a mistake by fighting for marriage equality because he’s a pathetic loser. The religious right loves to talk about how gays and their quest for equality under the law are supposedly anti marriage, but in reality, its losers like Elam who are really anti marriage.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

“So which of you is the “man” and which one of you is the “woman”?

This question makes no sense and is absolutely annoying Its like having chopsticks and asking someone which one is the fork or looking at two washing machines and asking which one is the dryer.

Peaches
Peaches
5 years ago

@opium4themasses -Heee, cute.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Does anybody have a full-length version of that John Oliver piece that works outside of America? Panda’s is US-only and I can only find half-length and sound-only versions.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@SFHC

I’m sorry about that. See if maybe this works?

https://vid.me/ayyw

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

@Panda

Ah, thanks! ^^; No worries, there’s no way to know which videos are US-only beforehand, ugh. (Note to the YouTube admins who definitely read WHTM [/sarcasm], country-locking is why Hulu is basically dead.)

As always, John Oliver is both hilarious and so fucking correct.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@SFHC

I’ll make sure to get links from that site when I post YouTube vids from John Oliver’s channel. I’m guessing it’s US only because of HBO.

However, here’s a tip. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you’ll see pull down bar that says Country: [Your Country]. If you change it to “Worldwide”, it should let you see more videos.

However, the first video of (MY) IMMORTAL: THE WEBSERIES is blocked by country somehow?

And, yes, it is a webseries based on the infamous Harry Potter fanfic.

katz
katz
5 years ago

However, the first video of (MY) IMMORTAL: THE WEBSERIES is blocked by country somehow?

It’s considered an international human rights violation.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@katz

All the other videos aren’t though?