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On this most epic of Pride Weekends, MRA Paul Elam welcomes gays “to the gallows”

Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage nationwide, celebrates yesterday in Cincinnati with his attorney
Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage nationwide, celebrates yesterday in Cincinnati with his attorney (not Dr. Gonzo)

Pride parades are a bit more fabulous than usual this Pride Weekend, on the heels of the Supreme Court ruling making gay marriage legal across the United States.

A Voice for Men “CEO” Paul Elam is using the occasion as an opportunity to “warn” unwary gay marriers that they may be embarking on “a trip to the gallows.”

Elam, you see, considers himself a bit of an expert on marriages — possibly because he’s had so many of them himself — and wants gays to know that marriage is terrible and that their celebrations this weekend will ring hollow once they end up in divorce court.

After acknowledging that, sure, laws should apply equally to gays and non-gays alike, he offers up this disconcerting toast to all the potential new marriers:

I will say congratulations to the gay community.

And welcome to the governmental tyranny over your lives with the rest of us.

NOTE TO ALL POTENTIAL BRIDES AND GROOMS: Whether you are gay or straight or something else, don’t invite Paul Elam to your wedding.

Elam delivers up a patronizing lecture to “the gay community,” complete with a nasty little aside suggesting that adopted children are all “damaged.”

Instead of less government intrusion in their private lives, the gay community has just seen the floodgates open. They will start figuring it out when the divorces start rolling in, especially for couples with adopted children and one crazy spouse. It will be even worse for gay parents. Adopted children are already damaged from some form of abandonment. A follow-up of dose parental alientation is hardly what they need.

It is exactly what many of them will get.

Elam predicts that gay men — he seems to have forgotten about lesbians — will end up joining him in his “foxhole” once they realize just how right he is and how thoughtless “their cause” has been.

I support the right of every gay man to be treated no differently by society or under the law than anyone else. So in a system that sucks, and laws that suck, and the beatings they and their children will take I will be happy to make room in the foxhole right alongside the rest of us.

Perhaps a generation or two in the trenches of family law will convince them a little more thought should be put into their cause.

Somehow I doubt it. After all, more than a few in the Men’s Rights movement have trouble understanding just why gay people get together at all. In their minds, after all, most relationships between men and women are all about “privileged females” extracting resources from their own private “disposable males.”

But what if both of them are dudes?

Dun dun DUUUUUUH!
Dun dun DUUUUUUH!

In the comments to Elam’s article, regular AVFM contributor Tom Golden — described in his bio on the site as “a psychotherapist specializing in men and boys’ issues [and] a member of Warren Farrell’s proposed White House Council on Boys and Men” — asks a classic ignorant question:

So who will play the role of the male? How will the family court hyenas decide who will get the shaft? Maybe money will be the factor? The lawyers will favor he who has more wampum? Then again maybe since they are both males they will both get the shaft?

Someone calling himself Clear Thinker offered up a wall of text, which I’ve taken the liberty of breaking into paragraphs, with especially, er, “clear” thinking bolded.

The only solution to Gay Marriage IS Gay Divorce.

In Ontario it has been a bit of a(trigger alert) sniggering disgrace, the activities of the Gay community, but now they are finding out what it is to be truly miserable. No longer will they be able to trade one boy toy for another, once they put a ring on his finger, or other appendage.

The rich old Queen’s of Toronto will now face what heterosexual men have known for 30 years in our Province … You will pay alimony to your husband or wife or whatever it is you call it. If you have adopted children, which is all the rage these days, the courts will hand over the children to the mentally ill partner, as this is what they do today and yesterday to the men of real marriage.

Now you will have real marriage, and you will be toast.

Imagine our jails filled with gay deadbeat dads who wont pay the court ordered baksheesh demanded by the boy toy. Guys you have been warned, Lesbian women, no one cares, you don’t have any money, and if a judge can figure out which one of you is the most crazy, then that one will win.

Welcome to the real world of family law, and if you are in a fight, YOU WILL DO all that you can, to crush the one you said you loved. Call me in 5 years and tell me how right I was/am. America, read, learn, then laugh. This disaster for gay men is on its’ way to them right now.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before gay men flock to you guys for answers.

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Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@EJ

YOU KNOW IT’S A PARODY OF THE FAN FIC.

DON’T EVEN HIDE THAT YOU DON’T KNOW.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

I know what the fanfic is. I know it very well. But why in the name of Theoden King would anyone make a webseries of it?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@EJ

Why don’t you see yourself?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

Jackie, why would you do that? Why? I thought you were my friend!

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago
mockingbird
mockingbird
9 years ago

*is blissfully unaware of this particular fanfac*

mockingbird
mockingbird
9 years ago

fuckaduck – fanFIC

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

Considering the spelling involved in ol’ Enoby’s adventures, “Fanfac” is probably more accurate. =P

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

There was spelling?

Mammoth Naturalist
Mammoth Naturalist
9 years ago

I’m trying to figure out with my girlfriend which one of us, in the case of divorce, is the most crazy. Honestly, if autism counts as being crazy, then I win by a landslide.

It’s good to know these things.

contrapangloss
9 years ago

I was blissfully unaware, until Chronic Lurker became my roommate…

I nope’d out within a couple paragraphs, and she laughed at my horror. Chronic Lurker kind of liked introducing me to things that made me make the “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING KILL IT WITH FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RUN AWAY RUN AWAY” face.

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