Categories
antifeminism grandiosity gross incompetence mike buchanan misogyny MRA oppressed men post contains jokes post contains sarcasm yeah that's the ticket

“Deputy Leader” sought by Men’s Rights party that won literally 0.0007% of the vote in the UK elections

The Justice for Men and Boys Party: They have a little truck
The Justice for Men and Boys Party: They have a little truck

If there are any stray British MRAs reading this blog, have I found an opportunity for you! How would you like to serve under the political whiz-kid who triumphantly led the Justice for Men And Boys (and women who love them) Party a landslide victory in the UK election this May, unexpectedly winning 216 seats in …

Oh, wait, the party didn’t win 216 seats. It got 216 votes. Out of 30,691,680 total votes cast, for a stunning 0.0007% of the total.

That’s one-fortieth the votes received by the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol party, one-eighteenth of those won by the old school classic Monster Raving Loony Party. (Note to non-Brits: those are both real parties.) 153 of these votes were for J4MB leader and A Voice for Men friend Mike Buchanan; 63 went to the party’s other candidate.

Anyway, fresh off this magnificent triumph, Buchanan has just announced that he’s now taking applications for an assistant — that is, for the prestigious post of Deputy Leader for the party. He’s looking for someone who will help to “enable the party to move to the next stage of its development.” which presumably involves getting more than 0.0007% of the vote next time. 

Why not just appoint one of the party’s dedicated political activists to the position? Apparently they’re all a bit too embarrassed to take the job. As Buchanan delicately explains it in a post on his blog,

[a] number of outstanding people who have been central to the party’s success to date wish to remain ‘below the radar’ for a variety of reasons, and have therefore declined the position.

Yes, that’s right, in a sentence in which he admits that literally no one in the party wants to be its Deputy Leader, Buchanan refers to “the party’s success to date” as if it has been anything else but the most abject of failures.

But at least Buchanan has a clear strategy for WINNING next time, in the Charlie Sheen sense at least. In a post-election discussion of the party’s plans for 2020, Buchanan explains

Following a strategic review, we’re changing our position on the political parties we challenge at general elections. Until now we’ve taken the position that we’ll decide some time before general elections whether we’ll target the marginal seats of the Conservatives or the Labour party. Our new strategy is to challenge the party in power – i.e. the Conservatives until 7 May 2020 – or parties, if and when we again have a coalition government. … 

By targeting Conservative marginal seats in 2020 we’ll increase the possibility that the party won’t be re-elected, and it will then have five years in opposition to reconsider their anti-male policy positions.

Emphasis mine. I’m sure the Tories are quaking in their boots as they consider the literally dozens of votes you may take away from them.

Buchanan says the party, which ran two candidates in the May elections, will put up 20 candidates in 2020.

Oh, by the way, J4MB is seeking applicants for candidates as well.

In case no one wants these jobs either, let me spell out some of their fine benefits:

  • Talking to Mike Buchanan regularly (probably)
  • Meeting the party’s new Deputy Leader (position yet unfilled)
  • Almost certainly losing the £500 deposit you and the party will put down so you can run in the election (which is only returned if you score more than 5% of the votes cast)
  • A ride in the J4MBmobile (probably)
  • Having your friends and relatives laugh at your for the rest of your life after you win fewer votes than the Ow Me Bum Hurts party candidate (NOTE: the Ow Me Bum Hurts party does not exist — yet).

Get in on the ground floor sub-basement of this exciting new political phenomenon!

 

78 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Eitan
Eitan
9 years ago

I think even the “official” communist party would get more votes than these shmucks. 10 points for whoever knows Yiddish insults.

A.A. Wils
9 years ago

@Eitan: well, the original Yiddish meaning of “schmuck” is penis, I believe. It has come to mean an obnoxious or stupid person. I guess both definitions apply, in this case (especially if we use a more profane word for “penis”).

Robert
Robert
9 years ago

My favorite take on British pronunciation – “Please meet Mr. Cholmondeley at the Taliaferro-Featherstonehaugh Club.”

I hope that the Ow Me Bum Hurts Party will work on improving the NHS’s proctology division.

C.V. Compton Shaw
9 years ago

In the USA, men are required to defend the state through military service either voluntarily or involuntarily (the military draft) while women aren’t. Is not that the case in the UK ? In the USA, women receive preferential treatment by law in employment, education, the receipt of social services and other wise. Is the same not also the case in the UK? As a result of the aforementioned, men are the servile class to women in the USA. If the aforementioned is also the case for men in the UK, then British men are the servile class to British women! When one hears the refrain from the renowned British anthem, “Hail Britannia” and it’s resounding assertion that Britons will NEVER BE SLAVES, you will no know that the same does not apply to current British men for they are already slaves to women!

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

Oh wow! Where do I sign up to be a candidate? Sure I’m a feminist, lesbian, American… and I’d work to undermine the misogynist talking points, but I’d work really hard for those talking points they don’t actually care about, and just put up there to make it look like they’re credible. And really, can I do any worse for the J4MB party than the 2 past candidates did?

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

In New England Wooosta is the second largest city and Leicester is the next town to the west.

Eitan
Eitan
9 years ago

@a.a I know the original meaning. I grew up fascinated with the language of my ancestors back in Eastern Europe.

Funkula
Funkula
9 years ago

If the US version is “chip in for gas,” shouldn’t the UK version be “crisp in for petrol?” Or perhaps “lift in for lorry, innit?”

misseb47
misseb47
9 years ago

Tessa-I think you would do a great job and much better than any of the party members. At least you would actually work hard at it and apply yourself. The other guys can’t even be bothered

autosoma
9 years ago
Reply to  Robert

OK I know it’s Mr. Chumley going to the Fanshaw club but Taliaferro? But I’m just an EastEnd Jewish fella so I dunno much about pronouncing Toff words.

For all the faults of the British political system it does a good job of filtering the real drek out, for an Independent to get into parliament you really have to be a strong constituency worker and not just rock up somewhere wave a pamphlet about and expect people to go “ooooh! Yeh I’ll have some if that”.

katz
katz
9 years ago

When one hears the refrain from the renowned British anthem, “Hail Britannia” and it’s resounding assertion that Britons will NEVER BE SLAVES, you will no know that the same does not apply to current British men for they are already slaves to women!

I see we need to pull out the guide to comparing things to slavery.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

In the USA, men are required to defend the state through military service either voluntarily or involuntarily (the military draft) while women aren’t.

The US military is all volunteer. Unless you were drafted for Vietnam, you can shut the fuck up.

Also, feminists tend to be quite anti-war. See Code Pink for an example. http://www.codepink.org/

If you have an issue with war and violence (I sure do!), your issue is with the patriarchy and with capitalism and with the hunger for money and power. Not feminism. Not women in general. Getting angry at us for the draft is like is like being angry at spiders for your sprained ankle. Unrelated.

guest
guest
9 years ago

‘Tolliver’.

Meanwhile, my write-in candidate for the next Dr Who has quit her job on the radio to help start this party:

https://womensequality.org.uk/

I hope it goes somewhere.

Re word choices–I do usually remember the English-English word for things, but when people give me crap for using an American-English word I point out to them that they all watch the Simpsons and have no leg to stand on when pretending to not understand me. I do remember getting a hilarious email from a colleague about ‘faucet’–‘yes, ‘faucet’ is a word, so is ‘vaca’–they’re just not English words.’

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

Here in the UK, our army is made up significantly of Fijian, South African and Nepalese mercenaries. We don’t have conscription. In fact, we’ll probably never have conscription again, being the last country in Europe to institute it and the first to repeal it.

Conscription is actually an interesting idea in that, looking around the world, many conscript armies are drawn from the ranks of the more privileged people, not the less privileged. In Israel Jews are conscripted and not Palestinians. In South Africa, whites were conscripted and not blacks. In Syria, Alawis are conscripted.

Do we have a Russian commentor who can comment on how conscription works there? Are Muslims and people from frozen-conflict areas required to go to the army?

autosoma
9 years ago

Mate I know I’m troll feeding but… we’ve had a couple if brief spats of national service in Britain, the military is a purely voluntary service, we have none if this service=citizenship twaddle.
And its Rule Britannia, I know septics think we’re the 51st State but at least Google your shit first before making flawed crap statements like yours.
As I’m a current British man how come I’ve not seen any of the wank you’ve come out with grrrr!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

@autosoma:
He’s telling us about what our lives are like whilst knowing nothing about them. Can we have a term for that? Yanksplaining, perhaps.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
9 years ago

You don’t understand, mates. You’re all bleeding woman-oppressed because Britannia’s a woman, and you’re singing “Hail” to her. Feminazis! (And that’s not getting into the whole issue of having a *shudder* woman as your monarch…)

Misha
Misha
9 years ago

In the USA, men are required to defend the state through military service either voluntarily or involuntarily (the military draft) while women aren’t. Is not that the case in the UK ?

No.

In the USA, women receive preferential treatment by law in employment, education, the receipt of social services and other wise. Is the same not also the case in the UK?

No. There are no laws in the UK stipulating that women should receive preferential treatment in any of these areas. Maternity leave is not considered ‘preferential treatment’ because this poses a false equivalency – men do not have to physically grow, develop and push another human being out of themselves*.

If the aforementioned is also the case for men in the UK, then British men are the servile class to British women!

It’s a good thing the aforementioned is not the case then. Toodle pip, what what.

*Although I’m all for extending paid paternity leave. This would work wonders in reducing the childcare pressures placed on women and hopefully reduce hiring bias in workplaces as a whole. As well as provide men with greatly increased opportunities to bond with their newborn during that crucial first year.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

katz | June 28, 2015 at 1:30 am

When one hears the refrain from the renowned British anthem, “Hail Britannia” and it’s resounding assertion that Britons will NEVER BE SLAVES, you will no know that the same does not apply to current British men for they are already slaves to women!

I see we need to pull out the guide to comparing things to slavery.

But, but! Wimmenz expect men to buy things and take out the trash sometimes and not hit them! And the wimmenz don’t pay with blowies and/or sex every time the menz do something nice!

Menz aren’t getting paid to do things they’re expected to do as contributing members of the societies they live in! Menz can’t make women into their personal maids/sex toys for simply saying that they’re not THAT fat! Misandry! Slavery!

[/sarcasm]

Misha
Misha
9 years ago

C.V. Compton Shaw’s website is an actual CV. Lol.

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

C.V. Compton Shaw:

In the USA, men are required to defend the state through military service either voluntarily or involuntarily (the military draft) while women aren’t. Is not that the case in the UK ?

There is no more military draft, so don’t use present tense for that. As for the voluntary bit, women volunteer as well. (I won’t get into the silliness of being “required to volunteer.)

In the USA, women receive preferential treatment by law in employment, education, the receipt of social services and other wise. Is the same not also the case in the UK?

Can you please clarify this. Preferably with citation.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

Trollicus

In the USA, women receive preferential treatment by law in employment, education, the receipt of social services and other wise.

http://i706.photobucket.com/albums/ww61/imbrial/xkcd_citation_needed_edit.jpg

And no, your degree from MRA Assfax University doesn’t count.

Let’s break this down on the feminist end, shall we? I’m bored.

Women in employment:
Here’s some stats from the US Department of Labor’s Women’s Bureau
Here’s some facts about the wage gap from the White House’s official website
Here’s a study based on gender when it comes to hiring in STEM fields by Stanford University.
And if you’re still interested in learning more, Here’s some facts from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics

All in all, the wage gap is closing, but it’s still not equal pay. Women still are more likely to work lower-paying jobs, women are still more likely to be discriminated against when it comes to hiring because she “might get pregnant”, and those stats get even worse if you’re a woman of color.

Women in education:
Women are More Likely to Earn College Degrees, but Still Earn Less than Men
The Depressing Truth About Why Women Need College Degrees
Men won’t take jobs that are traditionally female because girls have cooties and men need to be macho masculine.

In short, women do earn more college degrees, but we kind of have to if we want to get a career where we can make enough money to be comfortable in life. We have to work far harder to get to a point where we can be considered just as good as our male colleagues, and even then we’re disrespected and not given the same pay. (And, again, it’s worse if you’re a woman of color).

Women and “social services”:
Report on the percentage of Americans on welfare
An article talking about why female-headed households go on welfare

You’re right. Women do get more services than men do when it comes to government aid. In fact, we even have special services that only cater to women and children. However, a lot of women who get government aid are not just caring for themselves, but their kids as well. And a lot of these women are single. Could you work 40+ hours a week (and that’s only for one job, some single mothers have more than one), and take care of your kids (or have someone help you to do so), and still manage to have enough money to pay for all your expenses (and theirs), and make sure you still had a roof over your head, healthy food on your table, and clothes on everyone’s backs?

Though, I’m confused by your use of the term “social services”. “Social Services” could be anything from schools to roads, things everyone, regardless of gender uses. I mean, I figured you’d mean welfare and government assistance, but, again, “Social services” is vague.
________________________________

Alright. Your turn. Citations please.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

…did my comment get put into moderation because I posted lots of links? Because I quoted the troll? Or did I do a bad thing and have been put on probation?

Because my comments have been put into moderation a couple of times now when I was responding to trolls.

Anne
Anne
9 years ago

MRAs are totally ignorent of facts. That’s the only way they can excuse their position.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

In the USA, women receive preferential treatment by law in employment, education, the receipt of social services and other wise.

http://i.imgur.com/H2C8Fvi.jpg

Your sources. Cite them.

(The University Of Your Ass is not a source.)