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MRA Dean Esmay elevates the discourse with new #SpankAFeminist hashtag, gratuitous rape references

Dean Esmay
Dean Esmay wants you to know that you’re a cruel bitter bitchy hatemongering bigot harpy who needs to be spanked, metaphorically.

Dean Esmay, the Chief Operations Officer (whatever that is) of A Voice for Men, has scored a major public relations coup for the Men’s Rights movement with his aggressive promotion of an exciting new Twitter hashtag, #SpankAFeminist.

In what I can only assume is an attempt to convince the world that MRAs do indeed spend a good portion of their days fantasizing about doing physical harm to feminists, Esmay explains in a post on AVFM that the hashtag is necessary “because it’s finally time to put abusive liars over the knee.” 

In case you’re wondering, when he refers to “abusive liars” he means feminists and not, you know, people who think that publicly fantasizing about spanking feminists is 1) hilarious and 2) some kind of actual activism on the behalf of men.

Esmay is quick to assure his readers that he is only referring to metaphorical spankings over metaphorical knees.

As he sees it, feminists are pretty much all just begging to be spanked (metaphorically).

Why would you spank a feminist? Well in reality, we know a lot of them would complain but some might actually enjoy it. Who knows? Maybe they’re just shit-testing us all and waiting and feeling frustrated that we aren’t responding right.

Evidently, in Esmayland, when women challenge their male partners with so-called “shit tests” it’s because deep down they want to be physically assaulted.

Also, feminists are a bunch of meanies, anyway.

[A]ny time you meet a feminist, you should spank him or her until they cry. And do it every time they open their mouths to spew forth their hateful lies about standing for tolerance, inclusion, and equality, when there is no movement in the modern world that does more to fight against tolerance, inclusion, freedom, and equality than feminism. Not even real life fascists or communists can top them at this point.

Feminism is an intolerant, hateful, racist, anti-gay, misandrist, misogynist, gynocentric religion and hate movement.

Yep, that’s right: In Esmayland, feminists are actually worse than real Nazis.

So how is the spanking going so far? Here are a few of Esmay’s contributions to the hashtag. As always, he is a master of subtlety. CONTENT WARNING for terrible rape references. Also a WAIT, WHAT? WARNING for some of the nonsensiest nonsense I think I’ve ever seen.

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612941449810677760

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612847267972669440

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612822995396984832

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612952905218273280

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612953182319214592

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612948591808659456

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612947630042185729

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612942938646032384

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612816059138113536

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612816846811574272

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612965121149796352

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612965888615141376

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612952601131249664

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612762509620068352

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612779175095746560

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612648857277743104

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612744601368162304

https://twitter.com/deanesmay/status/612472638317838336

You may have noticed that Esmay favors some rather colorful descriptions of feminists and feminism. Here are a few others he’s used in the hashtag over the last day or so.

  • Bitter bitchy harpies
  • Cruel violent abusive harpies
  • Hatemongering cultist[s]
  • Misandrist bigot[s]
  • Bigots and bullies
  • Hateful feminist bigot and bully
  • Bigot feminists

It’s weird that someone who complains so much about alleged feminist “bigotry” is fine with publishing articles written by a literal Holocaust denier.

Also, given how evil we feminists are, it seems a bit strange that Esmay tried to friend me on LinkedIn the other day.

Dean Esmay, man of many surprises.

While Esmay’s tweets seem to make up roughly half of the #SpankAFeminist hashtag, a handful of other terrible people have enlisted in Esmay’s (metaphorical) spanking crusade. Here are some of the most charming of the bunch, and when I say “charming” I mean CONTENT WARNING for gratuitous rape references, violent gifs, and Dan Perrins being Dan Perrins. (I’ve omitted the assorted porn pictures the #SpankAFeminist folks have posted.)

https://twitter.com/Synthovine/status/612305594595287041

https://twitter.com/rustBeltExpat/status/612326507374096384

https://twitter.com/Rob_Simple/status/612347342142967808

All of this is truly good for bitcoin Men’s Rights.

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magnesium
magnesium
5 years ago

This hashtag is a perfect way to keep track of which MRA’s are getting off on the idea of using physical violence to put mouthy women back in their place.

Sunny Burn
5 years ago

They really really really want attention, don’t they?

scalyllama
5 years ago

“Metaphorically “, eh?

I don’t think we’re using the same dictionary.

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
5 years ago

@magnesium
I don’t need a hashtag for that. It’s pretty much all of them.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

If you solicit a feminist dom, she will hurt you for real, laugh at you, and dare you to call the cops if you complain.

There are just so many layers to this tweet.

scalyllama
5 years ago

Meanwhile in Australia …

Prominent feminist writer Clementine Ford was suspended from Facebook over abusive PMs. She didn’t SEND them though – they came from a bunch of jerks after she posted a partially nude pic of herself in response to victim blaming comments by an Australian morning TV show. Clem posted screenshots of the messages with sender names clearly visible. Apparently this was worse than the messages themselves.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lanesainty/a-woman-has-been-banned-from-facebook-after-sharing-the-abus#.yoOGN2Dg3

Yet Esmay and co promote actual physical abuse of women (because let’s be honest here – there’s nothing metaphorical in his hashtag) on Twitter and FB and…what? Silence from the powers that be? Maybe some crickets?

Sarah
Sarah
5 years ago

Oh look, a new indicator I can use in determining which assholes to block. And here I was thinking there was no more mileage left in the various #GamerGate hashtags.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

Is Dean (et al.) so disconnected from reality that he thinks that this sort of thing is what will finally catapult Men’s Rights into mainstream respectability and finally dispel the notion that MRAs are just a bunch of creeps with profound issues with women?

Or has he realized that his target demographic for continued AVFM cashflow is a bunch of creeps with profound issues with women, and that’s who he’s appealing to?

maistrechat
5 years ago

because if someone acts like a child they should be treated like one when they act like a ****

Was this an attempt at a garden path sentence or just a freudian slip?

Sarah
Sarah
5 years ago

Also, Dean Esmay actually tried to add you on LinkedIn? I was in a career success class just before graduating from college and we had a presenter who was a LinkedIn admin, to tell us about how it worked and how best to network. I actually pointed out to her that there were no controls in place for blocking trolls or managing harassment, and she seemed to think that trolling shouldn’t actually be a problem on the network. I just checked my profile; they seem to have updated to allow blocking. It’s a shame that it had to get to the point where a massive harassment campaign was underway before LinkedIn would do something about it.

spacelawn
5 years ago

I don’t know about that 75% ironic person….

Also @SpankAMetaphoricalFemenistMetaphorically.

Guess that one was to long.

estraven
estraven
5 years ago

None of these guys actually know actual feminists in the actual world, do they?

KL
KL
5 years ago

super creepy in so many ways… not the least of which is a white dude thinking he speaks for men of color…

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

None of these guys actually know actual feminists in the actual world, do they?

No man has ever encountered a feminist and lived to tell the tale. This is why they are so shrouded in mystery, rumor, and speculation. I’m pretty sure they have talons, though.

Vanir85
Vanir85
5 years ago

Isn’t this kind of attempt at instigating violence illegal?

And seriously, Dean (if you’re reading this), nice timing in agitating for assault on a group you actively try to dehumanize. Not like we have a recent example of what that kind of supremacist rhetoric can lead to…

… or is that what you actually hope for?

I-Over 42 Blast (@JoeKlemmer)

If I had the energy I’d flood the hashtag with anti-MRA and pro-feminist tweets.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

What is Dean on about with his claims that gender studies teaches feminists to believe that black and brown are the ones most prone to rape?

The only people I’ve seen do that recently are Dylann Roof and Donald Trump. I seem to remember one of the prominent members of the manosphere making that claim but can’t remember if it was Vox Day or Heartiste. It could have been both.

On a side note; gamergaters and other misogynists have mantruming all morning because John Oliver did a segment on the harassment of women online.

ryohji
ryohji
5 years ago

Try to spank a feminist woman or man, end up maced or in custody, can claim being victim of MISANDRY.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@Vanir85:

Ah, but you see; Dean Esmay, in his infinite wisdom, has forseen your objection and cleverly subverted it before it was even raised.

Why would you spank a feminist? Well in reality, we know a lot of them would complain but some might actually enjoy it. Who knows? Maybe they’re just shit-testing us all and waiting and feeling frustrated that we aren’t responding right. They make so many phony, transparently, scientifically debunked assertions, that answering them is like playing Whack-A-Mole.

So here’s an easy thing to do: from now on when they say something idiotic on social media, just respond with a spanking. It’s all they’re really worthy of anyway.

Some examples:

► For being the kind of bitter, humorless, hateful harpies who’d feign that “Spank a Feminist” is advocacy of real “violence against women.”

See? You should be “spanked” if you see the obvious non-metaphorical aspect of the word “spank.”

I mean, Dean could have chosen anything for his hashtag, but he chose “spank” for a reason. A reason to use a metaphor that calls to mind the patriarchal violent disciplining of an unruly child that misogynists have painted feminists, women in general, as since feminism existed, and one that literally arouses the MRA commenters with fantasies of crying women being struck by them.

I mean, a reason. A good reason. Very metaphorical. Completely non-violent, especially the “spank him or her until they cry” bit. I don’t see how you could have possibly misunderstood.

autosoma
5 years ago

Well, I’ll offer myself up for a photo opportunity of Deano spanking a bloke who supports feminism, He’s gonna ‘ave to come to E12 London though. And he’ll look a bit of a knob given I’m a 50 year old tattooed skinhead ex-squadie turned software engineer who looks like a postrboiy for the BNP (yes the BNP recruiters looked very confused when I pointed out I was Jewish and thus felt an obligation to say no).

So standing offer Deano, until me, the missus and the sprogs quit London.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

… or is that what you actually hope for?

People who incite violence in this manner know exactly what they’re doing, and they know they can get away with it. The American amongst them watched Sarah Palin put crosshairs over Gabrielle Giffords’ face and get away with it without any consequences.

autosoma
5 years ago

Oh and the photo op rights I’m gonna give to David

tealily
tealily
5 years ago

#dismissamisogynist #ohwaitwealreadydo

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

[A]ny time you meet a feminist, you should spank him or her until they cry.

He’s never done that through debate. Never. Maybe through death threats and continued terrorism, but never through the pathetic dishonesty rhetoric he calls debate. The only woman I wager he’s made cry by spewing his MRM talking points is his mama. I know I’d cry if one of my kids turned out like him.

Feminism is an intolerant, hateful, racist, anti-gay, misandrist, misogynist, gynocentric religion and hate movement.

Staggering levels of projection. Next he’ll accuse us all of having an unkempt appearance, magic pants and poor public speaking skills.

These men dream of being and hope to encourage serial killers and rapists, but they accuse feminists of being evil and dangerous? Sounds like the Charleston killer, doesn’t it? It sounds like most bigots who kill. The FBI needs to watch these men. They’re attempting to terrorize and they know it. They’re whipping each other up and they know it. AVFM and the CCC have so much in common is it sickening.

Also, kids acting like cunts? Kill your daughters for choosing a gender studies major? She really wants it, but it’s still a punishment for being uppity? No wonder these creeps lose their kids in court. No wonder they’re worried about accusations of rape and abuse. They are rapists and abusers or fanboys of the same trying to silence victims.

Oh, and the Domme remark? No Domme ever wanted to play with Dean. He’d have to find one who liked and respected him enough to share her skills, time and toys with him.
Never
Gonna
Happen

And the racism, Ablism, rape apology and gasslighting. Wow. What a shithead. Bonus shithead points for trying to land a job on sex workers who don’t see themselves as inferior to their clients.
To sum up that hashtag:
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/d2/d2f80ca06e6d649c4553d3a6675cec303c2974a2d308dfb1e6b91160b8f3631a.jpg

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

Can the meme about feminists WANTING spankings die down? And even for those of us who like that thing in the confines of a consensual encounter aren’t going to like it from jackass strangers doing it to make some point about how wrong we are. We’re not waiting to be punished for chrissake. <__<

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

None of these guys actually know actual feminists in the actual world, do they?

Would you spend time with them? The only thing these guys know about feminists is how fast they can walk away.

(yes the BNP recruiters looked very confused when I pointed out I was Jewish and thus felt an obligation to say no).

I’d have loved to have seen their faces.

People who incite violence in this manner know exactly what they’re doing, and they know they can get away with it. The American amongst them watched Sarah Palin put crosshairs over Gabrielle Giffords’ face and get away with it without any consequences.

Bingo. And Fox News incites violence with their repetitive hate-mongering and nothing is done about it. It’s nothing but propaganda to keep the oppressed under the boot.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

*dishonest rhetoric*
Eh. By now you can parse out my gibberish.

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

I’ve got to say I found most of Esmay’s tweets too confusing to be offensive, he clearly has an aversion to being taken seriously. I wonder if his tooth is playing up again?

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
5 years ago

So much for AVFM’s claim that they have zero tolerance for advocating violence. From someone named Kronk in the comments:

Spanking is not good enough for these reprehensible criminal hate mongers. Total annihilation is the only suitable response to their lies and destruction. Until that happens, we will just endlessly whack another mole’ as they pop up in every conceivable aspect of modern civilization.

50 years of their ‘war on men and boys’ is quite enough now. Can I get an AMEN?

Driversuz replied, “Amen, providing you meant to say “metaphorical annihilation.” We’re not encouraging anyone to actually hit feminists…” but left the comment intact.

Paul Elam shouldn’t try to make jokes. His attempt to skewer David is weak and unfunny.

Shalimar
Shalimar
5 years ago

Simple consent lesson for Dean Esmay:

When you and Elam play S&M games, it’s ok, because you’re the spankee and you enjoy it. You consent to be spanked.

When you punish people you hate by spanking them, it isn’t ok. They don’t want to be spanked, and they do not consent. It is in fact felony assault and battery. You will go to prison.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
5 years ago

Blockquote question. Is there a way to prevent the second and subsequent paragraphs from indenting? It never used to do that.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

The “this is metaphorical and you especially deserve to be spanked if you think it’s not (but only if you’re a feminist, MRAs who treat it as a call for real violence will not face censure)” line is just CYA. Freedom of speech in the United States does not cover incitement to violence if the violence incited is imminent from said incitement. In practice, this usually means that if there is a bit of a delay, or if the inciter has some wink-wink-nod-nod language in the inflammatory language, no consequences ensue.

Nobody inciting violence on the internet (or in any media) can control how long of a delay occurs between the incitement and the violence, so the second method is the safest CYA. That’s clearly what Esmay is using.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

Everything MRA, redpillians, and their misogynist ilk believe about women in general and feminists in particular is a projection. Everything. And Esmay’s effluvia, wrapped in gleeful imaginings of violence against women, only prove it, again, as if it needed proving.

BTW, John Oliver had an excellent segment about threats of violence and harassment of women on the Internet:

(Apologies if someone already posted it earlier.)

I guess Esmay would like to spank John Oliver, too.

While at it, I would extend autosoma’s invite and ask Esmay stop by our house to do some spanking of my feminist husband and our two strappy sons, along with their male friends. We live in the States, so it’ll be even easier. It should be fun. I’ma fire a grill and get the beer.

The Knitting Cinephile
The Knitting Cinephile
5 years ago

Feminism is an intolerant, hateful, racist, anti-gay, misandrist, misogynist, gynocentric religion and hate movement.

I simply fail to see how one can be both misogynistic and gynocentric. That makes about as much sense as hamburger steak or jumbo shrimp.

autosoma
5 years ago

@lea… It was quite a picture with a fair bit of confusion on their part… You look like one of us, but your not one of us. It sort of why I think it would be hilarious if Deano takes the photo opportunity I’m offering. #cmondeanoaveago maybe other fellas globally will join me in offering there arsecheeks for Deanos hashtag

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

Delurking for a moment here, just to join @autosoma in the offer to be a male feminist for D. E. to spank. Though in my case he’d have to travel to Finland, and again I don’t think that Dean-o (apologies to Dean Martin, RIP) would want to spank a fairly big guy (in all directions) in his 30s, who has a more luxurious beard than Mr. Esmay himself and hair straight out of a heavy metal band. I have to admit that I’m short on tattoos and other “mad street cred” stuff, but still, the offer stands. 😛

Also, just wanted to let everyone (anyone?) wondering, that I in fact am doing better and am thinking of being a regular poster on the site again. 🙂

Also, also, if anyone missed the “Last Week Tonight” segment on online harassment that women face every day, here’s the YT link: https://youtu.be/PuNIwYsz7PI

Usual caveats about not reading the comment section apply. Oy vey, do they apply. 🙁

Neurite
5 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger:

“What is Dean on about with his claims that gender studies teaches feminists to believe that black and brown are the ones most prone to rape? The only people I’ve seen do that recently are Dylann Roof and Donald Trump.”

Actually, that is exactly where that claim is coming from – he is arguing that Dylann Roof only believed that black men rape “his” women because eeevul feminists convinced him of that. Because feminists constantly say that, dont’chaknow. (Never mind that they totally don’t.)

Ugh, now I feel like I have to wash my hands after typing that.

LG.
LG.
5 years ago

The history of spanking is interesting. It has long been associated with slavery in addition to its use to control wives and children. Other forms of corporal punishment, like whipping, pillories or thwacking knuckles with a stick, don’t have the same connotations of very creepy intimate ownership. The message of a spanking is not just, “You did wrong,” but, “I’m better than you and I own you.”

And the sexual element has always been there because it’s extremely common for the body to respond with sexual arousal to that high level of nervous system input. This is traditionally part of the humiliation that adds to the control.

In other words…Jesus what a creepy fuck.

Anne
Anne
5 years ago

I have given up a long time ago. I don’t discuss anything serious with MRAs. I avoid them as much as I can.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Johanna,
It’s more slut shaming and victim blaming, isn’t it? Every way women get it on and get off enrages them. They use anything women enjoy doing with our bodies as an excuse to rape and abuse us. What we like to wear, that we like to fuck, that we don’t like to fuck. It doesn’t matter. It’s all about keeping us from feeling that we own our bodies. Shit, we can’t even eat what we like without them trying to use it as an excuse to abuse and rape us. (Being fat has been used as a reason it is OK to rape a woman and even to “prove” she really liked it. A British judge even told a teen girl that she should have taken her gang rape as a compliment. *spit*)

They are angry that even rape and violence, which are supposed to brutalize us into lifelong submission to every man everywhere, can be turned into make believe play. That women can have a consensual good time that edifies rather than destroys with the misogyists’ most dire weapons as toys has to scare them. It’s a bit like putting a daisy in a soldier’s rifle. It says to them, “This isn’t your tool for oppression. This is my toy for pleasure. I’m even in control of my body when I pretend I’m not.”

Also, knowing that what women who are supposed to be weaker than them sometimes do for fun is past the point of what they could physically and mentally endure must be very threatening to them.

And I think it gives them one more thing to feel inadequate over. Being a sadist for kicks isn’t easy. It takes practice and guidance. You do what you are told by the person getting the stingy end of things and you do it right or you’re out on your ass with no one to play with at all. To be bossed around and rejected by someone who wants to submit to rough stuff would destroy the tiny bit of self esteem they manage to maintain. The concept of a service top must blow their minds.

Shalimar
Shalimar
5 years ago

@Lea

Wow. What a shithead.

To me, Esmay is the only one of the AVfM leadership team that ever shows a hint of humanity beneath the unrelenting narcissism and hatred. He’s such an ass-kissing lickspittle that it’s easy to forget how hateful he is himself, which makes him more dangerous imo. No non-misogynist is ever going to trust Elam or Bloomfield, whereas Esmay occasionally comes off as the kind of new acquaintance who is likeable and entertaining at your wargaming convention table for a few hours before he stuns you with a random rant about whores.

Morrizaurus
Morrizaurus
5 years ago

So, feminism is a religion now? Like darwinism was, before?
I really hate when people brand others as religion nuts because they aren’t willing to have a serious dialog.

Also since when does Esmay or AVFM for that matter give a shit about “brown men”, I might be confusing the manospherans but I thought their only concern for PoC was that they were stealing the white women.

By the by, do check John Oliver’s piece on online harassment on youtube, it bothers me how the comment section is filled with gators and assholes.

Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

Hey look, they’re trying to be funny, again!

*squints*

At least, I think that’s what they’re trying?

Attempting to parse:

Dean: “Feminists are terrible, terrible people. Like Nazis, but worse.

“So let’s…start a hashtag where we “spank” them! Yeah, that image will totally convey our not-at-all hyperbolic message about how feminism is really for real a real terrible hate movement

Once again, all they’ve managed to do is express their own intellectual confusion. If they really believe half the shit they spew, why start a hashtag like this? Doesn’t it diminish the message about our awful terrible terrible awfulness? Would anyone start a “#spankanazi” or “#spankawhitesupremacist” hashtag?

Very confuse. Much fail.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

Could someone summarise, paraphrase or quote the most important parts from the John Oliver video? I clicked and got a message that it isn’t available to watch in my country. 🙁

Lynn
Lynn
5 years ago

Why do all revenge inspired actions towards feminists have to be sexual? Why can’t they just fucking say punch a feminist in the face? But no it’s either rape or spanking. These MRAs have this obsession with dominating all women, especially feminists, because they can’t stand the fact that women would rather be acknowledged for their existence as human beings and not fuck toys.

This is also why pornography is used as hate speech towards feminists and women in general. They want to put us in our place using sex, because to them “sex” is our place.

[violent remarks deleted by DF]

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Lynn,
No. Just no. Mutilating other people won’t make the world better for anyone. No one deserves to be tortured. No one.

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

@Lynn – you’re assuming these men have nuts to start out with. I have my doubts. They smack of overcompensation to the max.

@Lea – I think you hit the nail on the head there. In their minds it has to be some sort of domination thing because the idea that we might take these actions for ourselves drives them up the wall.

In other news, there’s a really cool spider on my wall. I’ve named her Ballcruncher. She’ll be my loyal minion.

Morrizaurus
Morrizaurus
5 years ago

The video is about how easy it is for people to go on the internet to harass others, mostly women, for pretty much any reason they can come up with and how the police in the US are very much inadequate to deal with the harassment and in some cases actual threats because in some parts they don’t even understand the medium where the harassment is happening (twitter, reddit, et al).
Also he raises awareness how revenge porn is a thing that happens commonly, is unregulated at the federal level or at state level as well in around half the US states and how the victims of revenge porn are often targets of victim blaming

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

They could be using twitter to raise awareness of homelessness and the danger exposure presents this time of year. They could be using it to spread information about suicide prevention hotlines or services for veterans. But they use it to have a circle jerk over the thought of sexually abusing women.

How is anyone so gullible as to believe MRAs care about anything other than harming women? Could they be more obvious?

autosoma
5 years ago

Well I just tweeted my brickies arse to Deano, won’t take long for them to have a pop

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