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MGTOWs are planning to take over Puerto Rico and start their own lady-hating country there. No, really.

Starting your own country on an island? Simpsons did it. (But with girls.)

Over on A Voice for Men, a Man Going His Own Way named Frank Worley has unveiled a most immodest proposal: turning Puerto Rico, or at least a giant chunk of it, into a MGTOW nation. Yes, he’s serious. Also, an idiot.

As Worley sees it,

Women have used democracy to pressure our gutless politicians into surrendering our constitution, personal liberty and any semblance of due process. … Nothing male is sacred or protected. 

Instead of trying to organize politically to fight the evil dispossession of men — who control only 80% of congressional seats in the United States — Worley wants to rip it up and start again. 

The entrenched forces of Marxist Feminism and the cowardly politicians who cater to them, have taken all that is worthwhile from these once great and free nations.  So what is left for those of us who seek only to be treated as equals under the law?  …

The only immediate and complete solution to this problem is to concentrate our forces to create a majority in a single location so that WE become the state.   

The “it” that will be ripped up? Puerto Rico, or at least its eastern third. Worley hopes to turn at least this portion of Puerto Rico into some sort of alimony-free libertarian island paradise for the MGTOWs of the world. Well, the MGTOWs of America. They have to have American citizenship for Worley’s, er, ingenious plan to work.

One of my early proposals was the establishment of a micro-independent state on the eastern third of Puerto Rico.  The idea was to ask people who supported independence to move to one of several municipalities … and then vote for Mayors and council members who supported our program and then call a referendum.  If the petition for independence was denied by Congress then simply declare independence recognizing what that might imply.

Never mind that most of the supporters of Puerto Rican independence today are lefty types who aren’t likely to be big fans of either the MGTOW or the “libertarian paradise” aspects of Worley’s proposal. All he needs is to get a few American MGTOWs to move to the eastern third of Puerto Rico. Like, say 25,000 of them.

To accomplish this micro independence I would need upwards of 25 thousand MGTOW’s to relocated to the specific areas and register to vote.  … Any American citizen can move to Puerto Rico and vote and run for office and vote for independence.

Then, hey presto, a MGTOW nation in which “we write and enforce the laws without having to cow tow to the feminists.”

I’m sure the current residents of Puerto Rico will be thrilled to have tens of thousands of lady-hating white dudes show up overnight in an attempt to take over the government and declare themselves a MGTOW nation.

Also, the word is “kowtow.” “Cow towing” looks like this:

How to Cow Tow
How to Cow Tow

Worley, evidently taking inspiration from Starship Troopers, also declares that in this new nation, SERVICE GUARANTEES CITIZENSHIP.

The definition of being equal under the law in this proposal is service.  Military or civilian part time service is required for all citizens and immigrants both to deny entry to those who would seek only benefits of the new country and also to eliminate all other constantly changing definitions of who is a ‘protected class.’  Complete your service and you are equal under the law; fail to complete and you are not.

Yes, I’m sure libertarians will flock to a country where they will be forced into government service if they want full citizenship.

Oh, and did I mention that Worley, by his own admission, doesn’t even speak Spanish very well?

On A Voice for Men, Worley’s proposal met with, well, let’s charitably call it a mixed reaction. While many were sympathetic, they weren’t exactly sure this was a very practical plan. Dean Esmay even felt the need to stick up a little note at the start of the post declaring that “AVfM neither endorses nor rejects this proposal.” 

Hey, I can’t blame them. Given that AVFM is the most “activist” of all Men’s Rights organizations, and it just cancelled its much ballyhooed conference this year because organizing is just too darn hard, it is a little difficult to imagine MRAs or MGTOWs becoming organized enough to plan a picnic in the park much less take over a third of Puerto Rico, a US territory with 3.5 million inhabitants, a great number of whom live on the island’s eastern third.

And that’s not even taking into account the sabotage a would-be MGTOW nation would face from evil feminists.

Chris  Shrek6 • 2 days ago They wouldn't have to send in troops, once word got out about a large community of men without women in it, the feminists would flood in to take over majority voting power. How could you stop them, unless you were able to buy up all the land in question and put up 'no women allowed signs. 3  • Reply•Share ›  Avatar decemberx  Chris • 8 hours ago − Avatar Frank Worley  Chris • 2 days ago I suspect the feminists won't move in great numbers until we are getting close to the goal. At which time it would be too late. Essentially, they are going to start with what they always start with, ridicule.

Wow. The imaginary planet on which these guys live is a lot more entertaining than the planet Earth I live on.

I can’t help but think of the episode of The Simpsons in which Bart and his friends are stranded on a desert island, and Bart spells out his absurd vision of the paradise their island can become if they all work together:

Bart Simpson: And every night the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories.

Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be?

Bart Simpson: One at first, but he’ll train others.

Good luck, fellas! Send a monkey butler over to let us know how this turns out.

EDIT: Also, if Puerto Rico doesn’t work out for you, why not try one of these lovely islands?

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Falconer
5 years ago

@EJ: I lol’d.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

It was the one where Steven, Sadie and Lars got stuck in that other realm and Sadie and Lars~~~~ *teehee*.

Falconer
5 years ago

So did they actually move that relationship forward, or what? ‘Cause it looked like maybe she was going to start seeing Renaldo later.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

Pretty sure spoilers

she and Lars are an item now.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Noooooo! Cookie Clicker fucking reset my whole game on me! I had almost eight months of time in that thiiiiiiiiiiing!

Falconer
5 years ago

8(

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

I guess it could be worst than almost getting all the achievements and then have it magically resetting for some reason. Maybe it got updated or there was a glitch. At least the Grandmas aren’t calling me “filthy” and hating me anymore.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Falconer | June 12, 2015 at 1:14 pm
So? Feckin’ Caesar’s Legion never shuts up, doesn’t stop me from killing every one I see.

Yeah but when Caesar’s Legion talks, it’s either “Everyone else but us are weak heathens who need to be put under the heel of our jackboots!”, or “Wimmens are weak and should be in the kitchen or in my bed making babies!”

I tried playing the Legion once to see what it would be like, and I instantly regretted it when my Courier went to meet the Legionaries at the docks upon Caesar’s invitation when their leader pulled that shit.

“Oh? I wasn’t expecting you to be a woman. Women are weak.”

Caesar was surprisingly less sexist to my face, but I don’t doubt that he instilled that shit in ’em. Took everything I had to reason with myself to not to crack open the console and kill every last one of ’em. My next Courier is going to take over New Vegas and Caesar’s going to have a special seat reserved in hell, just for him.

They’re pretty much MRAs, except they actually, y’know, do shit.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Paradoxical

There’s more achievements for killing Caesar than anyone else in the game. That tells you something.

Eitan
Eitan
5 years ago

Why don’t these mra bozos go to battleship island in nakajima because it is uninhibited at the moment though they may need to plan accordingly since access to he island is limited each year.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

When I say I’m going to do something, I do it. Here’s the first few bits, detailing the construction of the fortress of Udosfigul. It’s tumblr, so it starts from the bottom and goes upwards.

http://udosfigul.tumblr.com/

(“Udosfigul” is the game’s translation of “Man Glands” into Dwarven. Its dictionary doesn’t have “boobz”, so that’s the next best thing.)

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@EJ

Jesus Christ that was fast. O.o

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Whoa, Dwarf Fortress has changed graphics. Is that a mod or…?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

It’s a graphics mod. I also have a 3D one but haven’t tweaked it to work yet. I’ll get some screenies with it when I have something to show off.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@EJ

These chairs are all made of limestone, because that’s what we live in. As a result, they may not be scented, but these are some hard fucking chairs.

Amazing.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

You all’s game seems quite fun. Crossing fingers for more galena.

I’m evil like that.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

The next set of updates is up. Spoilers: Falconer is lazy as hell, Miss Anthropist finds a use for the fucking galena, and we go to great depths in the search for metal.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

🙂

Dwarf Falconer is hilarious, Dwarf Lea is exceptional, and we got a fuchsia monster. Where’s this game been all my life?

Falconer
5 years ago

Dwarf!Falconer’s party is taking months. He’s probably running an RPG campaign where the party of doughty dwarven heroes are venturing far from their comfortable mines, and exploring the abandoned forest city of the elves.

It’s probably equal measures terrifying and exciting.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

The entire fortress shut down during that party. Seriously, if a forgotten beast had turned up then it could have waltzed right in and nobody would have tried to stop it. I’d have been like “Quick everyone! Brick up the cavern gate!” and they would have been like “Sure thing boss, we will get right on that this very second… hey Jackie, pass the wine, would you?”

My favourite bit was when Dwarf!David left the party while the elven traders had been waiting patiently at the trade depot for over a week, ate an entire stack of cheese, paused to think of what to do next, then went right back to the party as though he had nothing else to do.

I went into this game with the stated aim of making Dwarf!Falconer happy. He is making me choke on my words. This little procedurally-generated bunch of pixels is winning the game against me even though he’s a character in it.

Falconer
5 years ago

That’s the thing about us (we?) Falconers. We’re not half clever.

Falconer
5 years ago

Is your icon Dwarf!Falconer getting his party on?

contrapangloss
5 years ago

🙂

Falconer
5 years ago

Icon on your Tumblr.

I’m going to have to start another fortress, ain’t I? Prolly see if “Alpha Cock Carousel” translates. Maybe I’ll have to substitute “Horse Tornado” for “carousel.”

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

That’s David Futrelle getting his party on. Falconer’s a miner, so he uses the miner sprite. By now he’s managed to get his skill to legendary levels too, so he’s a blue-flashing miner sprite.

Lea’s been intensively training up the two new miners, Koopiepatra and sn0rkmaiden. Falconer has been helping. Now that we’ve actually got the forges running the miners are going back to all the previously-discovered veins of ore and actually working them. It’s testing the pathfinding algorithm to its limits.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Dwarf!Contrapangloss is a strange one. I like them. Wooden rocks, menacing cloth spikes…

…that’s my dwarf, alright!

Falconer
5 years ago

I remember someone was boggling over their game producing an item that was carved with a cheese. The cheese was also carved with a cheese.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

I believe that happened in the legendary, ancient “Boatmurdered” game played on the Something Awful forums. Let me see if I can dig up the image.

Found it:

http://lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/Update%201-19/bracelet.jpg

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

There’s a dwarf me?
Awesome.

brooked
5 years ago

Craftsdwarfship?

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Dwarf!Lea is the hardcore, hardworking Dwarf. Dwarf!Falconer’s the party dwarf. Dwarf!David’s the Almighty Overdwarf, and Dwarf!Contrapangloss just likes making weird stuff.

Dwarf Fortress is so spot on.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

The fortress runs because Lea, M, Miss Anthropy and Buttercup Q Skullpants are good at their jobs. Everyone else is a hilarious cavalcade of incompetence, laziness and experimentation, but those four are pretty solid.

Falconer
5 years ago

Whoo! DC just confirmed that Harley & Ivy are a couple!

Although they do say “Girlfriends without the jealousy of monogamy.”

C’mon, they’re in an open relationship. Is that hard to say?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@EJ

I quite like dwarf me is an engraver. 😀 I best most of the stuff I carve is metal album covers and poems in sloppy writing. I also have a husband, which is…weird, mostly because I’ve never thought of getting married. Imma gonna pretend he’s either Varric or Gimli. Or Vargimli.

Hmmm, Vargimli…

Oh, just so you know, I don’t care if my dwarf is man, woman or other, so you can name anyone after me. Or any animal for that matter. I do not mind, as long as I have a magnificent beard. Just FYI for anything in the future.

Also:

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Whoo! DC just confirmed that Harley & Ivy are a couple!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/lebowski1.gif

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@Jackie: About ninety percent of my immigrants are married couples, often with kids. As such I don’t really have much latitude when it comes to naming. You can have a married male dwarf or a married female dwarf; that’s normally about the limit of it.

Vargimli is currently working as a mason, and under M’s watchful eye he’s become quite skilled. He’s currently churning out coffins. We don’t need them yet, but dwarves sleep more soundly knowing that they have a tomb waiting for them in case anything happens.

Dwarf!Jackie has a magnificent auburn beard, according to her bio.

@Falconer: Let’s be realistic here. They’re in a stable poly triad with The Joker.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@EJ

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wnod.gif

This information pleases me.

Also, my dwarf!husband is one of my fav Florence + The Machine Songs.

(Love this version better than the album version.)

Falconer
5 years ago

@Falconer: Let’s be realistic here. They’re in a stable poly triad with The Joker.

Oh ick, no. Harley goes running back to him, but Ivy would put on her special lipstick if he made kissy faces at her.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

Oh, I skipped over that part.

EJ, no, you’re horrible, stop.

Ivy would even use her special lipstick; she wouldn’t let Joker even think he has a chance, and if he ever thought he did, she’d dispatch him from the farthest away possible.

She has standards, ya know.

Falconer
5 years ago

She has standards, ya know.

They include redheads who know how to use eyeshadow. Bright green and pancake makeup can step right the fuck off.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Goddamnit.

Falconer
5 years ago

Well, bright green hair.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

There’s a version of Ivy with green hair? Whaaaaa?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@EJ

I found you a whole playlist of awesome dwarf songs on the YouTubes:

Some with lyrics, some without. The ones by the Fletcher guys are pretty epic.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Falconer | June 13, 2015 at 4:54 pm
Whoo! DC just confirmed that Harley & Ivy are a couple!

Although they do say “Girlfriends without the jealousy of monogamy.”

C’mon, they’re in an open relationship. Is that hard to say?

http://media.giphy.com/media/BNBsX9OFigPvO/giphy.gif

Well, it’s cool that polyamory’s getting some positive attention, and canon bisexual Harley Quinn and possibly bisexual Poison Ivy, but if they shoe-horn in the Joker, I’m going to be pissed.

Mew York Kitty (@CCMSparkster)

Honestly, this is why I find MGTOWs the most laughable tendency in the Manosphere.
We should give them their own island tbh. Just take our garbage and build an artificial island to house them all.
Also, for wanting to get away from those dang dirty feminazis, they sure talk a lot about us.

Falconer
5 years ago

@Falconer

There’s a version of Ivy with green hair? Whaaaaa?

I’m sorry, I think I messed up originally.

I said Ivy liked redheads, thinking of Harley, but Harley’s blonde.

Green hair and white pancake makeup is the Joker, and Ivy would just tell him to walk.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

Oooookay! That makes more sense. 😛