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Red Pill dudes agree: Volunteering can totally be alpha, just as long as you don’t help poor people. Or kittens.

Hold frame and do not give in to this kitten's devious "I want food" shit test.
Kitten shit-testing a human. Hold frame and do not give in! 

So one public-spirited gentleman who calls himself retturd has a question for the alpha dudes of the Ask The Red Pill subreddit: Is volunteering seen as blue pill? Retturd assures the assembled color-of-pill experts that “I love volunteering and helping people in general.” He just worries that being so helpful might be seen as terribly beta.

The regulars assure him that volunteering is perfectly fine for alphas. As long as they’re careful about just who they are helping. Helping old dudes and learning from their old-school alpha ways? Perfect. Helping poor people? Not so much:

abdada 11 points 6 hours ago  All men should have a cause that they actively do but don't talk about.  I volunteer at an old folk's home 2-3 weeks every year. It isn't charity; I learn freely from hanging out with old dudes.  But having a cause that is your own isn't beta. Helping others can be construed as white knighting, so you have to define what your limits in charity are.  I won't help poor people most of the time because I don't see many of them changing. I define my limits on my charity because it is my time and it is my money (sometimes) I am investing in others, not just throwing around freely.

Also, helping kittens is right out, unless you’re Elon Musk. Or at the very least a sharp-dressed swole dude.

ghrelly 2 points 4 hours ago  No single action is either blue pill or red pill.  Red pill is all about people's perception of you.  If Elon Musk started volunteering at an animal shelter with kittens, people would not think any less of him cause his SMV is so high that they perceive his action in a positive light.  On the other hand, if you have a mediocre job, not social, dressed shittly, didn't work out, and volunteer to raise kittens, people will probably see you as a beta.

DO YOU EVEN LIFT KITTENS, BRO?

 

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opium4themasses
5 years ago

You have gotta be kitten me. Such human rights. Is this misandry causing him to not help homeless guys?

Anyway, toxic masculinity at its best.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

I’d make a terrible alpha. That kitten would have me opening a can of Felix in seconds.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@opium
Since homeless guys are usually poor, hence the homelessness, I’m gonna assume yes on that question. But why help homeless men when feminists should be doing it for you, amirite?

Tore
Tore
5 years ago

These people have really made themselves worthless, haven’t they? Old school macho bullshit at least had a component that you were a teensy bit useful. You were a breadwinner, or could make stuff with your hands. The new misogyny has pretty much decided that it’s all posturing, video games and manipulative crap. Even helping people is made suspect.

Ew.

sylviaplant
5 years ago

Lmbo these goddamn babies are afraid of helping kittens and underprivileged people. I don’t believe in the laughable “WE’RE A PACK OF MANLY WOLVES” framework, but these guys wouldn’t even be betas, they’d be so far off the alphabet they’re hitting unicode umbrellas. ☂

They’re afraid to help people because they don’t want their online bros to tease them for touching anything that isn’t a military grade explosive. They have the mindset of 2 year olds afraid of cooties. No, scratch that, two year olds aren’t typically afraid of kittens.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

So… only volunteer when it directly helps you? Wow. As opium4themasses said, such human rights.

RoscoeTCat
RoscoeTCat
5 years ago

I really hope these guys are teenagers. Then, at least there’s a chance they might grow out of this Red Pill BS. They surely can’t be grown men??

kellyrtillson
5 years ago

Aw, this is so sad. I hope the original poster’s desire to help pulls him out of that toxic culture.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

They surely can’t be grown men??

I have some bad news for you, RoscoeTCat.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

I don’t know if I saw a guy volunteer raising kitties I would be like:
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130328012733/degrassi/images/d/d4/Santana_fanning_herself.gif
That is definitely going on the front cover of Miss Andry Magazine: “Betas” of the year

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

No single action is either blue pill or red pill.

Red pill is all about people’s perception of you.

This is probably the single most nearly-self-aware comment I’ve seen coming out of the red pill world. Yes, red pill is all about people’s perception of you; people who are steeped in toxic masculinity and have horrendous notions of what makes a person good or bad. You definitely want those people to be the ones that define you. Yup.

But remember, caring too much about what other people think of you is totes beta. So care a lot, but hide it; because if anyone catches you caring, you’re out of the group.

sylviaplant
5 years ago

As we all know, the public perception of Robin Hood is that he is a beta mangina.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

Of course one of ’em has to use Elon Musk. What next, are they going to use Peter Thiel – one of the biggest pieces of shit on the planet – as an example of an “alpha”?

Actually, nevermind. They probably would.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

Oh wow. Another commenter in there wrote this sentence.

But doing anything just to please others or to make a good impression or to cause others to think highly of you is beta.

How does this person’s brain not short-circuit? “Doing something solely to try to appear Alpha is Beta, so don’t do that and people will think you’re Alpha.” It’s a catch-22! The only winning move is not to play, and everyone’s lives would be so much better if Red Pillers stopped their alpha-beta game.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

On the one hand, they’d doing something! On the other hand, they’re still selfish fucking assholes!

That shit ain’t compatible, yo.

sylviaplant
5 years ago

They’ve got one thing right, which is that when they volunteer at convalescent facilities it isn’t charity. I feel bad for whomever gets stuck with a visiting redpiller.

“Yeah yeah yeah, you were a pilot in WWII. How many chicks did you neg, though?”

magnesium
magnesium
5 years ago

The most alpha thing you can do is constantly check in with your internet community to make sure that they will still accept and hug you before you perform even the smallest of actions. And, of course, no alpha would make a decision for himself without direction from that internet community.

NothingClever
NothingClever
5 years ago

“Red Pill is about people’s perception of you.”

So…the red pill isn’t actually a thing you believe in but a thing that believes in you? “I didn’t choose TPR life, TPR chose me.”

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
5 years ago

@fruitloopsie, I second that gif!

How can they be so sure of Elon Musk’s SMV? I never heard of him.

megpie71
5 years ago

I find myself wondering how many of these people purport to be Christian. Because, y’know… religion where helping the poor and destitute is practically required, ditto things like visiting prisoners (originally to make sure the prisoners knew they hadn’t been forgotten), helping the sick, avoiding public displays of wealth and prestige, etc. Led by that wonderful beta mangina Jesus Christ, who was so wimpy he allowed himself to be crucified and such a complete wuss that he healed one of the soldiers who came to arrest him (guy had an ear cut off by one of Christ’s followers, and Christ put it back on and healed it up).

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@megpie71

His word are also “followed” by over 2 billion people, so that’s alpha as fuck.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Huh? Where did my text go? I tried to block quote and now it’s gone like magic. I guess this what you guys call the block quote monster?

mrkfoster
mrkfoster
5 years ago

If I may shamelessly plug the group I do a lot of volunteer work for:
http://www.healthebay.org/volunteer

Cleaning a beach can be surprisingly labor-intensive and physically demanding, but since I’m doing it to save adorable dolphins and children from rusty cans and used syringes I guess I’m pretty dang beta 😀

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

These people care so much about what everyone thinks of them, it’s pathetic. When you can’t pet a kitten because somebody might think you’re “beta”

http://emilylatka.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/look-at-your-life-look-at-your-choices.gif

It must be exhausting to go through your entire life evaluating whether your every action is alpha or beta. I’d feel bad for them if they weren’t such hateful assholes.

Binjabreel
5 years ago

He can be a huge asshole, but Bill Burr has a great bit about toxic masculinity (though he never calls it that by name):

“Guys die because every time they’re about to do something that might help them or be good for them there’s a chorus of their friends in the back of their mind going, ‘What are you, a fag? Oh look, he’s got an umbrella just cause it’s raining! Put your collar up!”

It’s hilariously spot on.

Also, lol at how real fucking Alphas have to constantly worry what people think of them. Incessant self censorship and living a lie while constantly worrying what other people think is so fucking rugged!

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

I feel kind of bad for the dude in the OP. It’s sad to want to be kind and altruistic, but also feel like it besmirches your manly character to indulge those urges. Like kellyrtillson said above, I hope he finds his way out of r/TheRedPill in a timely manner so that he can move on to better things and better friends.

I don’t know if I saw a guy volunteer raising kitties I would be like: <fanning gif>

I’m with you, fruitloopsie! He loves kittens! If you’re nice, maybe he’ll let you pet one!

These TeRPers are missing a trick here. Kittens are where it’s at. Though that’s probably all for the better, because this way they’re not inflicting their foul selves on poor, defenseless animals.

It must be exhausting to go through your entire life evaluating whether your every action is alpha or beta. I’d feel bad for them if they weren’t such hateful assholes.

Seriously, it must take these guys twenty minutes and a post on Reddit just to decide what to have for lunch. “DAE think turkey sandwiches are beta food?”

Binjabreel
5 years ago

Turkeys are totes beta mangina food, unless it’s a wild turkey you personally trapped and killed and smoked.

fromafar2013
5 years ago

“DAE think turkey sandwiches are beta food?”

Do not feed turkey to your bettas.

http://www.gianteagle.com/ProductImages/PRODUCT_NODE_1355/46798168386.jpg

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

TeRPer’s wish they could be that alpha. Look at those fins! Bettas invented peacocking.

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
5 years ago

It’s amazing that they don’t consider Musks (Tesla right?) SMV to be high as a result of his generosity rather then in spite of it.

Why do I need to learn a bunch of new acronyms to talk about these toolboxes? I stumbled across married man sex life today and was utterly confused. It seems they are all experts on picture frames.

Scarlettathena
5 years ago

“I don’t help poor people because I don’t see them changing.”

How would you see them change if you didn’t help them?!!

Or are you someone like Ken Ham who misunderstands evolution to the point he proposes crocoduck? You expect them to receive charity and immediately become a different person.

“Why thank you for preparing me a ham sandwich.” person’s clothes change and he immediately just has a job.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Good lord, it’s like this picture I saw on tumblr the other day:

http://36.media.tumblr.com/a6d4836e8ff4f863ccd2ee1979680913/tumblr_nju47iFsBE1qhztfzo1_500.jpg

zennurse
5 years ago

“The poor”.

Who is that exactly? This guy seems to think its only people in soup kitchens scamming free food because they’re too lazy or high to change their lives. There are more and more people everywhere living week to week for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with anything but bad luck or bad health. As a visiting nurse, I saw older folks who had to choose between meds and food all the time. We had one gentleman who lived in a junked RV on the edge of the dump, bless him.

I worked as a nurse for 35 years and for years before I got my degree but finally had to give in to disabilities of depression and fibromyalgia after many years of resisting. I wish I could work but I have lost my mojo. My disability is more than some folks get because of my work but it is gone a week before the next deposit comes. I never, ever expected to be in this situation just like so many people but it is my reality.

This attitude that you don’t help anyone unless it benefits you just chaps me. Would I be different from the people in the soup kitchen or no, just another loser who can’t increase this troglodyte’s value? I have worked for and volunteered for nonprofits most of my career, most recently 10 years in hospice. I know what it means to give because you can, because you want to and because another person benefits from your help. I miss it more than I can say, but I also know I’m richer than that asshole will ever be.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Paradoxical

Wat.

W-what do those people do, then? Do they sit around, staring at the walls on rainy days they can’t sport?

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

“I want to help people, but only if people will still consider me superior to other men” is probably the most desperate, least attractive sentiment I can imagine.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

I have written a short list of acceptable female hobbies. Please adjust your lives immediately to meet this new standard, which is as follows:

– Working out in dude-approved ways (nothing too girly, and nothing that takes up too much catering to your man time)

– Hiking while wearing makeup (look at you, being cool and breezy and not “high maintenance” like those other girls! Except you definitely want to look pretty while you’re doing that, otherwise gross)

– Being silent

– Losing video games to men

fromafar2013
5 years ago

@ Paradoxical Intention | June 9, 2015 at 7:12 pm

I am laughing at that pic so hard, I’m crying. Number 1, using computers. Hahahaha, I’m in IT and just got Network + certified, I’m such a boner shrinker! Just ask my fiance 😉

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
5 years ago

If he doesn’t want to help poor people “because I don’t see many of them changing”, then how does he justify helping old people? They’re even less likely to change!

Other than that, I see that the definition of “White Knight” has expanded again. I remember that it used to mean something like, “Trying to help people in an ineffective way”, and then it changed to “Helping people who in my opinion don’t deserve to be helped”. Now it’s apparently just a synonym for “Helping others”.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

– Losing video games to men

What kind of feminist misandrist malarkey is this? I was raised to be a proper woman, which means that my only video-game hobby is watching and cheering while the menfolks play. Oh, and I occasionally run to the kitchen for snacks.

fromafar2013
5 years ago

I’m reminded of the Captain Awkward post about “I love my volunteers (just not the racist ones)”. I’m not all that disappointed that guys like them don’t want to volunteer for my rescue. As much as we need volunteers for the kittens (and puppies!) we don’t need the hassle of dealing with assholes. We’re good, thanks. You go be alpha. Over there.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

I have no idea why I put a dash between “video” and “game.” I’m already way too fond of commas. I hope that I don’t start overusing dashes next.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Unacceptable female hobbies (according to TRPers):

– Helping others
– Being fat
– Being “poor”
– Having your own job/income
– Making personal choices that men don’t approve of
– Doing things for yourself unless you’re a man (then it’s Alpha as fuck)
– Wearing articles of clothing that men don’t pre-approve of
– Saying no to sex when men ask for it
– Saying yes to sex when men ask for it
– Disagreeing with the Red Pill doctrine
– Wearing makeup (faker!)
– Not wearing makeup (Ugly!)
– Existing without men’s expressed permission
– Breathing without men’s expressed permission

And many more! Collect all N^34533234455 excuses to be a raging misogynist today!

fromafar2013
5 years ago

What kind of feminist misandrist malarkey is this? I was raised to be a proper woman, which means that my only video-game hobby is watching and cheering while the menfolks play. Oh, and I occasionally run to the kitchen for snacks.

Oooh, I got so many misandry points a few weekends ago. I was playing video games on my fiance’s Playstation3 while he watched and cheered me on, and every now and then he’d get up to go do something and ask me “Can I get you anything while I’m up? Need another beer?”

MISANDRY!!!!!!!1!!!!111111111

I think I just leveled up my skills in Social Justice Assassin. I’ll alert the high council.

Orion
5 years ago

Viscaria, you forgot about needlepoint.

proxieme
proxieme
5 years ago

@PI @pandapool – Maybe…baking…?

Is baking ok?

Cooking probably isn’t (because ERRYONE knows that all of the best chefs are men).

…at a loss for much else.
So many of the stereotypically überfeminine activities are too easily shoved into vanity (nails, make-up), frumpy (knitting, sewing), or TAKIN ALL TEH MENZ MUNNAH (shopping) slots to be acceptable to MRAs.

Women can’t be traditionally feminine because then they’re vain leeches .
Women can’t break away from traditional femininity because then they’re unspeakably mannish.

We’re left to sit in rooms, staring at the walls, living off of air and light mist.

Miss Andry
5 years ago

You know what’s totally alpha? Diving headfirst into an empty pool.

AllisonW
AllisonW
5 years ago

Miss Andry is right, that is the most alpha thing ever.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Miss Andry
You know what’s even more Alpha? Setting yourself on fire then dive headfirst into an empty pool.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

What if I use my sewing, cross-stitch and jewellery-making skills to make Portal t-shirts, Star Wars samplers and Pokemon necklaces (which I actually do)? Double misandry points or do they cancel eachother out?

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