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a voice for men creepy Dean Esmay men who should not ever be with women ever MRA paul elam

“We’re a group of volunteers dedicated to a cause, and the cause is Paul Elam.” — Dean Esmay of A Voice for Men

ProTip: If you're ever tempted to start a cult, play this video game instead, and leave real people alone.
ProTip: If you’re ever tempted to start a cult, play this video game instead, and leave real people alone.

I sometimes refer to A Voice for Men, the Men’s Rights hate site that has evolved into something of a hate group, as a cult. Up until now I’ve only done so half-seriously; while there are a lot of things about AVFM that are cultish, from the apocalyptic rhetoric to the constant demands for money to the organized harassment of its critics, it seems to lack some of the central elements of a real cult.

I mean, they’re not holed up in a compound in Idaho; they don’t wear funny uniforms; and they don’t talk, at least not publicly, about their single-minded dedication to serving the group’s leader — one Paul Elam of Houston Texas.

Or at least I thought they didn’t.

One of my readers has pointed out to me an interesting moment in a video posted on Youtube last year by a woman — known by her internet handle SworeByThePrecious — who had been talking to AVFM’s Dean Esmay about getting a press pass for AVFM’s conference last year. The video features the uncut audio from a long and contentious 4 AM phone she and Esmay had to discuss the matter. (Ultimately, she didn’t get the press pass; here’s her account of what happened when she caught up with some of  the conferencegoers at a bar afterwards.)

The really interesting bit in the recording — which I somehow missed when I listened to this last year — comes just short of the 23 minute mark, when Esmay pointedly tells Swore that he and other AVFMers are “a group of volunteers dedicated to a cause, and the cause is Paul Elam.” Here’s the audio:

Yep. You heard that correctly. The Number Two dude at AVFM doesn’t say that their cause is Men’s Rights, or fighting the evil “hate group” that is feminism, or any of the other things that Men’s Rights Activists like to say that they’re about. He says, plain as day, that their “cause is Paul Elam.”

If you don’t believe me, you can find the quote in the original video here. (The link should send you directly to that part of the phone call; if not, it’s 22:50 in.)

Now, I’m assuming that this was a Freudian slip on Esmay’s part, but whether it was intentional or not it’s pretty damn revealing, huh?

 

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Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

What I want to know is how they managed to start a cult of personality around somebody with no personality whatsoever.

laughnwitch
laughnwitch
5 years ago

Check out the comment section response from the AVFM numbskull division

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
5 years ago

The beard and bulging eyes don’t count?

I thought it was obvious by now, AVFM and its staff exist to fleece vulnerable/guillible men. Or they would have had a shelter or something to show for their “activism” by now, hell Paul won’t even shell out a few bucks to fix his seconds obvious dental issues.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Which would explain any erratic behavior, much like that old by-line: “God works in mysterious ways”.

“We’re only here because we’re doing what Elam wants.”

Such activism. Much men’s rights.

sparky
sparky
5 years ago

That is one hell of a Freudian slip.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

dudeinthewoods,
I don’t think Paul’s looks are relevant.

makingfitzcarraldo
makingfitzcarraldo
5 years ago

So they are Man’s Rights Advocates?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Oh, wow, oh no. How horrible. How could this be true.

I am in shock. Total shock of this. A whole movement based around one man, totally didn’t expect that.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/are-you-done.gif

Although my earlier comparison of MGTOW to Altruist Cult has never been more relavant.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

How badly would a person need an authoritarian father figure’s attention and approval to
A) pay him to notice them even if that means living on instant ramen noodles?
B) settle for Paul Elam?

dudeinthewoods
dudeinthewoods
5 years ago

@Lea

I was actually answering Scented Fucking Hard Chairs lack of personality comment, I should have made that clear.

A.A. Wils
5 years ago

It appears that this whole MRM is actually a One Man’s (Paul Elam) Rights Movement. What a charlatan.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

Paul Elam is not even a good charlatan — if he was, he be a financial adviser or a televangelist — that’s where the real grifting money is. He has managed to find a group that is so clueless even his sixth-rate scamming works.

joeklemmer
joeklemmer
5 years ago

I’m gonna start my own cult. The Cult of Misanthropy. And as head misanthrope, none of you suckers are allowed to join. ‘Cause I hate you all.

So there.
NaniNani Booboo, stick your head on doodoo.

Miss Andry
5 years ago

Just watch for when they start stocking up on purple shrouds and Nike shoes.

Awful Man
Awful Man
5 years ago

I am not at all surprised that this is now a semi-official cult of (shitty) personality.

Tim
Tim
5 years ago

Thank you, David! You’ve sucked these women into a losing battle from which they’ll never recover! The men’s rights groups owe you a deep, deep debt of gratitude. You DA MAN!

I LOVE DAVID FUTRELLE!

MGHOW!

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Sometimes I almost feel bad for Dean Esmay. Almost.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

What on earth was Tim’s comment supposed to convey?

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

Sometimes I almost feel bad for Dean Esmay. Almost.

+1. Dean, Dean, Dean…

sparky
sparky
5 years ago

Thank you, David! You’ve sucked these women into a losing battle from which they’ll never recover!

Y’know what? If being “sucked into a losing battle from which I’ll never recover” means reading funny blog posts mocking horrible people – which is what David does here, write funny blog posts mocking horrible people – then I fail to see how that is so awful. Or how this is some grand victory for men’s rights groups. Try harder, Tim.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

@PoM – I’ve read it three times now and still can’t puzzle it out. Don’t MGTOW usually hate AVfM? Why would a man who’s turned his back on women care what we’re doing? How does pointing and laughing at a bunch of fools constitute being pulled into a losing battle?

So many questions.

Falconer
5 years ago

What on earth was Tim’s comment supposed to convey?

It’s good news for John McCain Bitcoin Paul Elam!

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

I suppose he didn’t get the marching orders memo that they’re ALL DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT, I SAY. TOTALLY NOT THE SAME THING. Etc.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

And hey, at least he’s more interesting than the boner troll/spambot in the comments policy thread. Or Bryce.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
5 years ago

Ah, thanks, David! I thought McLovin was AVfM’s only remaining MGHOW. Tim must also be a fan of chicken jerky and Jell-O.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Flying Mouse

What is the losing battle? I didn’t know I was fighting a battle. The winner of a battle is the side that is occupying the territory at the end of it – what is the territory here, and how will we know when the battle is over so we can check who is occupying it?

So many questions.

Indeed.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

David, you’re right. Which is why I can’t actually sympathize with him. He just seems to have bought into the cult of Elam more than anyone.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Also wondering what is up with Tim’s comment. I wonder if he’s trying to say that the MRM exists to troll feminists. Therefore by engaging with them enough to mock, we’ve been lured into a battle. A battle we’ll surely lose because they have big manly STEM brains and we only have little confused lady brains. Or something.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Tim is a shitty marketing ploy for a website that’s about offensive humor. They posted a video and website address in the other thread,.

WE’RE GOING TO OFFEND YOU.
At Redonkulas.com, we don’t do butt-hurt. We don’t do Wet Wipes. We really don’t care if it makes you cry.

Man up. Or woman up. Whatever. Put some damn pants on, quit your sniveling, stop looking for reasons to be offended (we’ll offend you, we promise) and stop being such a sissy mouth-breathing oxygen-thieving apple-ass.

It’s all in good fun, kids. If we’re not offending you, tell us. We’ll try harder.

That’s the summary of the website they mentioned in the other thread.

I can’t say I take kindly to people fucking advertising websites by pretending to be trolls, especially when they fucking censor themselves in the fucking comments WHEN WE FUCKING SWEAR ALL THE TIME!

Or at least I fucking do.

Fuck him, fuck him hard. Kiss the brownest part of my ass, ya cheap ass human spambot.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Jackie

I didn’t think Tim was posting that vid as an advertisement. It’ll be disappointing if you’re right and I’m wrong. I kind of want him to come back and tell me what MGTOWs are “winning” and how they know that they didn’t “win” it because it was such a shitty prize nobody else wanted to bother.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@PoM

No, Tim won’t be back, because they made that post to offend us, which is the whole point of their stupid, shitty website.

They fucking tailored their goddamn comment to offend us because we mock MGTOW and MRA and shit.

Fucking, Hell.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Here’s their website a la do not link:

http://www.donotlink.com/framed?719698

I didn’t click any videos because fuck them.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@David

Fuck them even harder. A fucking fan of AVfM and spammy out comments with their shitty shit shit ban them twice as hard.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Thank you, David! You’ve sucked these women into a losing battle from which they’ll never recover! The men’s rights groups owe you a deep, deep debt of gratitude. You DA MAN!

I LOVE DAVID FUTRELLE!

MGHOW!

Thank you, Random Incoherent Commenter! You’ve spewed a bunch of gibberish that refuses to be translated into anything making sense! The men’s rights groups owe you a pair of tearaway pants and a salami. You DA MAN!

I LOVE RANDOM IDIOTS ON THE INTERNET!

YABBA DABBA DOO!

steampunked (@steampunked)

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?

Reg: Fuck off! ‘Judean People’s Front’. We’re the People’s Front of Judea! ‘Judean People’s Front’.

Francis: Wankers.

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

Bina-He is spouting a whole of incoherent crap, isn’t he? I love random internet idiots, too! They are so entertaining! 😀 I wonder what shit he is going to come up with next!
comment image&t=552&c=3qoZ8HRbum1vSA

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Yeah, he’s getting into Manson family levels of adoration.

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

Ah! That one’s better!

steampunked (@steampunked)

You know, every time they post here, I get another Monty Python image in my head:

Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

*they all stab themselves*

Suicide Squad Leader: That showed ’em, huh?

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

steampunked-lol! I remember that one! They are kind of like that, aren’t they? It is amazing how the MRAs can’t see that Paul Elam is ripping off vulnerable men and is a total fraud. They really do have a cultish thing going on there.

Over-easy
Over-easy
5 years ago

laughnwitch

Are they still arguing with a sock puppet smoking a cigar? I’m too afraid to look.
Ed the sock roasts everyone and everthing, that’s been his schtick for over twenty years.
He promises to roast feminism next week and these same idiots will be back in the comment section congratulating him.

Boycotting a sci-fi movie.
Arguing with a sock puppet.
Such activism.

ryohji
ryohji
5 years ago

Someone should totally write a Yaoi Fanfic with Elam as the seme and Esmay as the uke.
I can almost feel the hundred of AVFMers raising in future outrage.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@ryohji

That’s impossible. That would mean someone would want to sleep with these people.

Also it’s an insult to queer people, and I’d rather have those fuckers be the straightest goddamn men in history than have them even near my part of the rainbow.

katz
katz
5 years ago

“Fighting a losing battle” of course means that you don’t cancel your conference.

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