Even though I run a blog with the deliberately ironic title “We Hunted the Mammoth,” I’m still regularly amazed by how eager men who’ve accomplished nothing of value in their entire lives are to claim a kind of vicarious credit, by virtue of being men, for everything good that we humans have accomplished here on planet earth.
Consider this astoundingly un-self-aware bit of almost literal we-hunted-the-mammothing from a recent A Voice for Men post, written (very, very badly) by Peter Wright and Paul Elam:
Harnessing men’s utility can be witnessed from the erection of Stonehenge to the Roman Empire to the moon landings. Cures for diseases and vaccines to prevent them happened from the intensely intelligent actions of the human male. Exploring new territories and engineering the transport to send people to new places has changed the world, almost all of it through risk and hardship borne by men. Men have driven civilization forward since we first walked away from the African savannah. Men’s blood, sweat, tears and sacrifices are the fuel rods that have always driven the big machine of our society.
So much passive voice! So many mixed metaphors! Can anyone explain to me how blood, sweat and tears (liquids) can be fuel rods (solids, specifically “long, slender, zirconium metal tube[s] containing pellets of fissionable material”)? Or how “sacrifices” (an abstract concept) fit into the mix?
I will give an official We Hunted the Mammoth Award of Artistry to anyone who can draw me a picture — or make a diagram — of Wright and Elam’s terrible paragraph.
Oh, in case anyone is wondering, the ultimate point of that Wright and Elam post is to try to convince troubled men not to go to therapists unless the therapists are wise to the alleged evils of “gynocentrism.” You know, the evil force that made men do all that hard work for the lazy women of the world, who apparently spent all of human history watching soap operas and complaining about the men who were doing all that exploring and engineering and utility-ing and intensely intelligent actioning for them.
If you are searching for a therapist make sure and ask one question: “Have you heard of gynocentrism?” If they haven’t walk away and don’t hire them. In fact be prepared to do so much walking away that your steps will number enough to walk around the entire planet three times.
Well, that last bit, however cringeworthy the prose, is probably true. Because blaming men’s problems on “gynocentrism” is not just psychological quackery, it’s a highly obscure form of psychological quackery.
What a strange way the folks at AVFM have of demonstrating “compassion for men and boys,” as their old slogan had it.
Also, I’m pretty sure that at some point in the development of human civilization, and possibly even before it, women did some things too.
Like, holy shit, even accepting their idiotic premise that “doodz do all the things”, it’s still bullshit! How is keeping your house in order and raising and feeding your children, while you’re halfway around the world murdering different types of people for profits and glory, not being an integral part of the process?
But like always, it evinces such a stunning ignorance of history that I wonder if these shmucks even remember what happened last week.
“I have a Y chromosome! Where’s my cookie?!”
Seriously?
We don’t even know who was responsible for that massive erection at Stonehenge!
We, women, have birthed and brought forth all of humanity. The berries and roots we gathered provided the fuel to take those first steps off the savannah. We skinned the mammoth and made the fur into loin cloths so we could go to colder climes. We butchered the mammoth and fed the whole tribe.
…so men owe ME personally, totes obvs.
Even when (poorly) discussing history. They still find a way to even on a subconscious level, make it out about boners.
Also, if men were the only ones to “walk away from the African Savannah” and do the hard work of migrating and building new societies in strange lands, there wouldn’t be people anywhere but the African savannah, would there? Do they really think when humans migrated out of Africa, the men were pulling them on chariots or something?
Not surprised that they left out all the female scientists, free thinkers, intellectual heavyweights throughout history , struggling against a huge weight of institutional disapproval…Rosalind Franklin anyone? or perhaps Ada Lovelace? or Eleanor of Aquitaine? Kleopatra of Egypt ((and/or her daughter and noted architect, Kleopatra Selene, queen of Mauritania)) (my personal faves) or…yanno…the vast majority of women throughout history, laboring right alongside and in the same roles as their menfolk, tilling the land, fishing, and Getting The Job Done for survival. Nonono. Clearly that never happened, and Teh Wimmens were just hiding in their collective boudoirs eating snacks.
Those who do not study history are condemned to repeat it…inaccurately
Yeah, like discovering the seeds from the plants that they gathered happened to grow when buried and watered (via rain) which kinda started farming, which kinda actually started civilization rather than being nomadic hunter/gatherers (who wants to bet that was and “alpha” males idea?)
For some reason I find phrase “the intensely intelligent actions of the Human male” to be profoundly silly. Of course the whole paragraph reads as if their Vogon to English translator is on the fritz again.
I have a feeling that the reason women aren’t know for as many “great” things is because men in the olden times didn’t think women could, idk, sail around the world and kill natives and such, women could have accomplished these things just as well as men could but because of the very deeply rooted patriarchy back in those days, they never really got a chance, atleast in the western world. Now, a lot of women did do a lot great things of course, but the K/D ratio of it all is falling more on the men’s side of it sadly.
Nobody knows which gender built Stonehenge.
But I just wanted to point out that it’s not that strange that in the last 2.000 years or so men were more responsible for the technological progress than women. Only a few women were able to get the education men of similar status were getting.
After numbering enough steps to walk around the planet three times, wouldn’t they just find themselves right back on the front steps of Dr. Haventheardofgynocentrism? Metaphor, why you no geometry?
But maybe a few pointless circumnavigations of Earth would at least expose these idiots to the sight of women doing their part to build civilization.
It’s like I keep saying though, Men have historically put women on the bunny slope in everything then tried to feed us the BS that its all nature and our lack of inclination to do more than be a house slave/lovedoll/baby vending machine. Wouldn’t need to convince anyone if it was true.
This is one of the problems that comes of marginalizing any group: you can’t really claim all the credit for “progress” without also taking responsibility for the ENORMOUS cultural and institutional effort made to keep women, black or whoever out of your progress club. One also can’t take all the credit without also taking all the blame. Hmmm….didn’t think that one through, did they?
For the historical record: Inventors of the Ice Cream Maker: Agnes Marshall, Nancy Johnson. Every time these lads have ice cream, they have these women to thank.
Ha, ha.
@Professorfate
Ah yes, “the intensely intelligent actions of the Human male” sure, a lot of men have invented or created good things, but A LOT of men have also started A LOT of wars and invented weapons to further make those wars even worse. “the intensely intelligent actions of the Human male” behind, per say, World War one really showed they know what they’re doing.
“Men did ALL THE THINGS”
Correction, a tiny subset of men did them and women were never given the chance. And did you ever consider how much more awesome things we might have if we hadn’t insisted on using half our species as breeding stock? We might be flying around now with those jetpacks that people are always complaining about not having.
@Catmara and flying cars too.
@Catmara
Exactly, although i want those self-lashing shoes.
There’s a documentary called A Walk To Beautiful, which I recommend everyone watch but only when you have a fresh box of tissues handy. I would pay money to see Paul Elam do even 1 day’s work that those young women do.
I am tired of these assholes claiming my accomplishments as theirs just because I’m white and male. Goddamn it, get out of my gender. I’m using it.
Oh also, off topic, @Policy of Madness:
I made some ciabatta using the suggestion you gave and it came out lovely. Thank you so much.
even if we took it as fact (it is NOT, at all) that men alond are responsible for everything, that doesnt really say anything about women when they were NOT ALLOWED to even try!
Hatshepsut, Elizabeth the First, Hypatia of Alexandria, Margaret Hamilton (both the Wicked Which of the West, who was also a grade school teacher, AND the computer scientist ans systems engineer without whose work there would have been no moon landing), Hedy Lamarr, actress and co-inventor of the technology for spread spectrum and frequency hopping, which was used in WWII for controlling torpedoes and is the basis for WiFi, CDMA and Bluetooth tech…there are just a few of the MANY, MANY women who throughout history have created science, art and technology. Oh, and does anyone remember Aunt Harriet from the Batman TV show? Well, her real name was Madge Blake and she, together with her husband, developed the detonator for the atomic bomb for the Manhattan Project.
And then, one more – Clara Schumann, wife of classical compose Robert Schumann. She was a composer and a classical pianist. Much of what was published under Robert’s name was composed by Clara. Know why his name was on it? Because men would not publish music composed by women, so the Schumann couple decided that, rather than allow her work to never be heard, they would publish under his name.
So many women lost because MEN WROTE US OUT OF HISTORY! They must feel terribly threatened, the poor dears, by the humanity of women.
I can see why they’d be picky about therapists: therapy might lead to them examining their own actions and assumptions, and they might not like what they see.
Every time these ungrateful asshats log on to their computers and post their bullshit to their “site”, I want them to personally thank me.
Because Ada Lovelace was a woman, and I am a woman. So, I get to take all the credit for her hard work and dedication to her craft.
So, I demand a cookie and/or a kitten picture personally sent by Paul Elam because I’m a woman.
that does tend to happen quantumscale when they fancy themselves as superior despite all evidence to the contrary