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I Don’t Care if You Donated $10,000. F**k You: Jordan Owen graciously replies to critics of The Sarkeesian Effect trailer

Jordan Owen, interviewing his shoe
Jordan Owen, interviewing his shoe

Alleged filmmaker/bipedal mammal Jordan Owen has a few choice words for critics of the new trailer for The Sarkeesian Effect, the allegedly finished documentary he and white nationalist (on paper) Davis Aurini have been spending other people’s money on for the past who the hell knows how many months.

Wait, did I say “a few choice words?” I meant this gif:

 

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Stung by criticism of the trailer’s jarringly inept musical score, which he “composed” and “performed,” Owen posted a thoughtful response on TwitLonger today.

Fuck you.

Yes, you read that right. Fuck you.

The trailer has been getting a lot of great response and we really, really appreciate that- but if you have a problem with any aspect of the production, fuck you.

I don’t care if you donated $10,000.

I don’t care if you donated $10,000,000.

I don’t care if you donated BONE MARROW.

Fuck you.

As Owen sees it, the music is utterly perfect as is. It’s not the result of dropping a couple of kittens on some old Casio keyboards. It sounds the way it does ON PURPOSE.

Because I write that music and I’m proud of it. It sounds EXACTLY like what I want to get accross, which is why I wrote it that way.

As for one critic who suggested that maybe Owen should just grab some reasonably competent royalty free music off the internet and use that instead, because, holy crap, even that would be better than what’s on there now, Owen respectfully disagrees with this assessment.

Well listen Bobby, I know you think your heart’s in the right place, but the human heart is located in the chest cavity to the left of the esophagus. Not up your ass.

You send me a link to a bunch of shitty 2 chord guitar vamps and dubstep loops and think I’m going to write back and say “Gee willakers Bobby! That’s some great stuff right there! I sure am glad I listened to your opinion instead of thinking I knew what in the fuck I was doing!”

The music I wrote for The Sarkeesian Effect sounds fucking amazing- you know how I know? Because I like the way it sounds.

Sure, Owen admits, to undiscerning ears the music might sound a tad dated, but guess what: he meant to do that.

I keep getting these people writing in and telling me “This looks great, but the music sounds like it was done on a Casio keyboard from the 80’s.” Well there’s two reasons for that:

1. We’re doing a movie about video games, broadly speaking. Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe it was supposed to sound like that?

2. I sent Davis a remixed, remastered version of the music with more realistic string sounds, realistic bass guitar sounds, and realistic drum sounds. He wouldn’t put it in. I have no idea why. Ask him.

Yes, that’s right: the music sounds perfect as it is, but it is Davis Aurini’s fault that it sounds like ancient Casio crap because he used the ancient Casio crap version.

And for those who have wondered out loud how someone who was actually trained at the Berklee College of Music could possibly produce something like that, Owen has a response to this as well:

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR HEAD WHAT KIND OF MUSIC A BERKLEE GRAD OUGHT TO WRITE DOESN’T MEAN WE FEEL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OBLIGATED TO ACCOMMODATE YOU!

And I wrote that preceding paragraph in all caps because I was trying to create the effect of screaming at the top of my fucking lungs. Are you really so goddamn arrogant that you think in your infinitely pedestrian opinion that you know what sort of music Berklee grads ought to be writing?

To be fair, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of other Berklee grads out there making truly horrible music.

Owens’ little essays ends much as it began, with a giant “fuck you.”

So rest assured the music is going to be written by me and its going to sound exactly like it should sound. Tough shit if you don’t like that- no please go take your good intentions and pave somebody else’s road to hell.

Meanwhile, on YouTube, Owen has been similarly responsive to his critics. And by his critics, I mean Davis Aurini, his erstwhile film buddy:

sandflapjack 1 day ago  Oh my god the editing is just fucking atrocious. Feministfrequency has better transitions. Like really? Was that a fucking windows moviemaker pixel transition? for fucks sake.  Reply  · 2  Hide replies    Davis M.J. Aurini 1 day ago  +sandflapjack Jordan, you really gotta ban these shit-birds from your channel.  They're too cowardly to post on mine; they pick on you because you're a nice guy.  This idiot wouldn't know editing if it bit him in the ass.  Reply  ·    jordanowen42 20 hours ago  +Davis M.J. Aurini We open in six weeks- stop telling me how to run my channel and get back to work.

My only question is what exactly they will be opening in six weeks. Birthday presents? An Arbee’s franchise? Their mouths?

Whatever it is, I’m looking forward to it.

H/T — r/GamerGhazi

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ikanreed
ikanreed
9 years ago

Man, I’ve written music for personal projects before, and criticism stings… but… you know, if you’re trying to develop as a musician, you take that sting, and you learn what you can from it.

Also, I’m very amused at his contempt for the 2 chord pattern for soundtrack music. It’s supposed to complement what’s on screen, not draw attention to itself with rapid tonal shifts. Sure, sometimes you still want something advanced, but usually you just want to fill auditory space with something complementary to the “action”. Hating good ol’ I-IV is a massive failure.

sn0rkmaiden
9 years ago

Those two clowns just never stop giving do they? I can’t wait to see the finished product.

Let’s see; one popular criticism of Sarkeesian is that she doesn’t allow comments under her videos (we know this is to stem an endless stream of abuse, but critics say it’s because she can’t handle disagreement). Jordan Owen does allow comments, but apparently loses his shit with anyone who dares offer criticism, constructive or otherwise, even when they’ve personally helped to fund him.

Pots and kettles?

AllieCat84
AllieCat84
9 years ago

I just watched the trailer for the first time, and I got served an Amy Schuler ad. Youtube knows who’s watching the trailer.

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

@Allie
I’m quite fascinated by what YouTube offers me in way of ads, and how. I know that it’s based on my internet/YT activity and what ads I’ve watched the whole way through (I once paid attention to an Alpro recipe ad and now I CAN’T STOP GETTING ALPRO COMMERCIALS ARGH) but sometimes it’s very hit and miss and sometimes…I think my ads are based on GPS tracking. I was once working in an area of London with a high South Asian population, and later that evening I got a Youtube ad that was entirely in Punjabi. o_O

bvh
bvh
9 years ago

@PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer

Toxic Masculinity definitely feeds the beast. But women can have these behaviours too. The difference is women are far less likely to be in a position where they will be indulged, socially or professionally. Therefore they are made to confront their issues and change their behaviour. So it’s a mix of toxic masculinity and male privilege, imo.

I used to have a friend, who was the last thing from an MRA, but he had some serious personal interaction issues. Basic maladaptive things like explosive anger(verbal). I have very good boundaries and would not let this stuff slide…ever. Because I used to have these problems and if I could get my shit together, so could he. But he never could and we’re not friends any more.

Some people would try to excuse this as a gender thing. BULLSHIT. I was a tomboy- I know the difference between “rough and tumble” and asshole. Now I have information indicating a parent was less than supportive and he subconsciously took his rage out on people. But when the prevailing idea is that men are just naturally emotionally hapless, there is little social pressure to get help and deal with their shit. It’s not fun, it’s exhausting hard work, but it’s the only way to be a happy, well adjusted person. And also not to get sacked.

I think it indicative that for most men the MRA thing is a phase they grow out of by their late twenties, kinda like Libertarianism.

makingfitzcarraldo
makingfitzcarraldo
9 years ago

Thanks @pussypowertantrum. I’m new to the trainwreck of these guys. I should have guessed it was over not hating women enough.

Ellesar
Ellesar
9 years ago

I am guessing that someone has never learned to accept criticism!
The concepts of dignity and grace also appear to have never occurred to Owen.
But I am guessing that all the grapes he has ever had have been sour.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

Also, I’m very amused at his contempt for the 2 chord pattern for soundtrack music. It’s supposed to complement what’s on screen, not draw attention to itself with rapid tonal shifts. Sure, sometimes you still want something advanced, but usually you just want to fill auditory space with something complementary to the “action”. Hating good ol’ I-IV is a massive failure.

I found it really distracting too, and not in a good way. The changes are bizarre and it meanders around with no melodic structure, as if rabid weasels had been stuffed into a pillowcase with a DX-7.

FWIW, my brother also went to Berklee. I remember him saying a lot of the students there struck him as unbelievably arrogant and delusional. They all thought they were just a step away from stardom, didn’t want to put in the effort to learn basic theory and ear training, and thought the degree was going to do all the work for them. Berklee puts a lot of emphasis on the formulas and conventions of contemporary pop music – it’s not really a place that nurtures creativity. My brother was seriously into jazz fusion and dropped out after two years, realizing that a Berklee diploma wasn’t going to get him anywhere (although he did get to tour with Chuck Berry for several months).

So, I think Owen probably fit right in there, except he doesn’t seem to have even picked up the basics of writing listenable soundtrack music.

tania
tania
9 years ago

whoa whoa whoa, wait up…people keep telling him it looks great? there is no matching of color quality between shots, shitty as hell transitions, and titles format most likely downloaded from the first website to show up on a google search. not to mention the sound. call me crazy, but i think 10,000 could allow for a fucking boom mic. jeez. it sounds like the “MicroDoctors” video I made in 1998 for 7th grade bio.

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

I don’t think we are appearance shaming so much as expecting professionalism. It looks like he rolled out of bed late and grabbed whatever was appropriate for the heavy metal concert he’s attending this evening and he’s got lawn tickets. Would khakis and a polo shirt have killed him? Classic business shoes and yes business socks pulled up?

Or simply not appearing on camera at all and allowing their interviewees to take centre stage without constant distractions from whatever tics the interviewer is displaying when they’re not speaking. As I said on the other thread, the Paul Elam interview is one of the only ones that looks even vaguely as though it belongs in a proper documentary.

Rick
Rick
9 years ago

It will probably open at a peep booth in Owen’s home town.

tania
tania
9 years ago

also, i didn’t know having a b.a. in economics makes you an economist?

ktrantingredhead
9 years ago

Phase 1: Make terrible “documentary.”
Phase 2: Piss off all donors
Phase 3. Proft?

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Mwa – now that you pointed it out! Technically it’s supposed to be “There are two sides to every story,” but since it’s common to say “there’s” in speech when the subject is plural, I wouldn’t have noticed it.

Poor editing choices – now those I noticed! The newscast clips in the beginning are presented without context, the snippets of interviews they include don’t seem to go together (and are pretty incoherent on their own), and the camera movements are boring and repetitive.

epitome of incomprehensibility

That came out too harsh, maybe. I mean, it’s not wrong to make mistakes and people have very different opinions about what works in art, but I think the telling thing is how Owen responds to criticism. “A critic above criticism” indeed.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

Thanks @pussypowertantrum. I’m new to the trainwreck of these guys. I should have guessed it was over not hating women enough.

There’s always more hate to go around. Aurini originally had the logs up on his website, but apparently finally realized that they didn’t make him look good and took them down. However, the internet never forgets. (content note on those for gaslighting and emotional abuse)

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

I mean, it’s not wrong to make mistakes and people have very different opinions about what works in art, but I think the telling thing is how Owen responds to criticism.

Indeed. I am obsessively self-critical about my own video work, and one of my basic working principles is that I’ll try never to make the same mistake twice. And hand on heart, I don’t think I have – although that doesn’t mean that I haven’t made every mistake under the sun at one point.

The only thing I can honestly say is that I’ve never fucked up the sound in an interview. I can cover for poor video – in extremis, I can replace it altogether with illustrations of some kind – but I can’t get around poor sound. And my recording equipment cost around $500 total.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

one of my basic working principles is that I’ll try never to make the same mistake twice.

For my money, this is one of the smartest things you’ll ever hear said.

ktrantingredhead
9 years ago

It’s been well over a year that they’ve been trying to make this “project.” They are never going to make it. They are never going to finish it. If hell freezes and they do, no one will watch it….except us to make fun of it. The great irony is that one of the big criticisms of Sarkeesian is how she raised money for a film series she “never really made” or “never really finished” or “shouldn’t take that much money” or “has only a few videos and they suck”….and….well………………………

I guess imitation is the highest form of flattery? What about when you hate what you’re imitating?

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

This metaphorical train wreck just keeps getting more and more amusing.

As an aside, my daughter peeked over my shoulder while I was reading and was absolutely delighted by the seal in the sidebar. “It’s a seal! A purple seal!” The 3-year-old approves of the “Feminist Lavender Menace SJW seal of approval,” for what it’s worth.

Mwa
Mwa
9 years ago

@epitome – I teach college English, so I’m used to seeing these kinds of errors. To be fair, that mistake is fairly common, but it just speaks to the notion that line-editing and double-checking are unnecessary. My freshmen have the same attitude.
There is a deeper point that I try to teach as an aspect of critical thinking. That is, anyone who tries to tell you there are two sides to a story is lying to you. It is an informal fallacy and completely ignores any sense of nuance.

katz
9 years ago

…I just not realized there’s actually a place called “Berklee” and everyone isn’t just misspelling “Berkeley.”

I should know better, since I went to Scripps.

Tina S
Tina S
9 years ago

Wetherby, i wonder if it does mean something that only Elam is without an interviewer in the shot.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

i wonder if it does mean something that only Elam is without an interviewer in the shot.

It probably means he interviewed himself with his own equipment and emailed it to Dumb and Racist.

Bazia
Bazia
9 years ago

I’m extremely upset that Jordan is going for the 80s Casio sound, as this is the coolest sound ever – I treasure my ancient keyboard and every corny sound effect – how could he besmear this sound, this ancient tradition, so casually?