Alleged filmmaker/bipedal mammal Jordan Owen has a few choice words for critics of the new trailer for The Sarkeesian Effect, the allegedly finished documentary he and white nationalist (on paper) Davis Aurini have been spending other people’s money on for the past who the hell knows how many months.
Wait, did I say “a few choice words?” I meant this gif:
Stung by criticism of the trailer’s jarringly inept musical score, which he “composed” and “performed,” Owen posted a thoughtful response on TwitLonger today.
Fuck you.
Yes, you read that right. Fuck you.
The trailer has been getting a lot of great response and we really, really appreciate that- but if you have a problem with any aspect of the production, fuck you.
I don’t care if you donated $10,000.
I don’t care if you donated $10,000,000.
I don’t care if you donated BONE MARROW.
Fuck you.
As Owen sees it, the music is utterly perfect as is. It’s not the result of dropping a couple of kittens on some old Casio keyboards. It sounds the way it does ON PURPOSE.
Because I write that music and I’m proud of it. It sounds EXACTLY like what I want to get accross, which is why I wrote it that way.
As for one critic who suggested that maybe Owen should just grab some reasonably competent royalty free music off the internet and use that instead, because, holy crap, even that would be better than what’s on there now, Owen respectfully disagrees with this assessment.
Well listen Bobby, I know you think your heart’s in the right place, but the human heart is located in the chest cavity to the left of the esophagus. Not up your ass.
You send me a link to a bunch of shitty 2 chord guitar vamps and dubstep loops and think I’m going to write back and say “Gee willakers Bobby! That’s some great stuff right there! I sure am glad I listened to your opinion instead of thinking I knew what in the fuck I was doing!”
The music I wrote for The Sarkeesian Effect sounds fucking amazing- you know how I know? Because I like the way it sounds.
Sure, Owen admits, to undiscerning ears the music might sound a tad dated, but guess what: he meant to do that.
I keep getting these people writing in and telling me “This looks great, but the music sounds like it was done on a Casio keyboard from the 80’s.” Well there’s two reasons for that:
1. We’re doing a movie about video games, broadly speaking. Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe it was supposed to sound like that?
2. I sent Davis a remixed, remastered version of the music with more realistic string sounds, realistic bass guitar sounds, and realistic drum sounds. He wouldn’t put it in. I have no idea why. Ask him.
Yes, that’s right: the music sounds perfect as it is, but it is Davis Aurini’s fault that it sounds like ancient Casio crap because he used the ancient Casio crap version.
And for those who have wondered out loud how someone who was actually trained at the Berklee College of Music could possibly produce something like that, Owen has a response to this as well:
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR HEAD WHAT KIND OF MUSIC A BERKLEE GRAD OUGHT TO WRITE DOESN’T MEAN WE FEEL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OBLIGATED TO ACCOMMODATE YOU!
And I wrote that preceding paragraph in all caps because I was trying to create the effect of screaming at the top of my fucking lungs. Are you really so goddamn arrogant that you think in your infinitely pedestrian opinion that you know what sort of music Berklee grads ought to be writing?
To be fair, I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of other Berklee grads out there making truly horrible music.
Owens’ little essays ends much as it began, with a giant “fuck you.”
So rest assured the music is going to be written by me and its going to sound exactly like it should sound. Tough shit if you don’t like that- no please go take your good intentions and pave somebody else’s road to hell.
Meanwhile, on YouTube, Owen has been similarly responsive to his critics. And by his critics, I mean Davis Aurini, his erstwhile film buddy:
My only question is what exactly they will be opening in six weeks. Birthday presents? An Arbee’s franchise? Their mouths?
Whatever it is, I’m looking forward to it.
H/T — r/GamerGhazi
And this, ladies and gentlemen and neither and both, is why so many MRAs (and their penumbra) can’t do art or even decent craft for shit. You need to listen to feedback and be willing to improve, something that does not happen if your knee-jerk response is HOW DARE U ATTACK ME. Not all feedback is useful, of course, but you’re unlikely to get to the useful feedback if you’re so thin-skinned that you take critiques of your favorite video games as a personal affront.
I would lay 5-1 odds that this supposedly completed “documentary” doesn’t exist and never will.
They can’t even handle criticisms from their own fans or each other. How do they even survive in this world?
@PussyPowerTantrum
So true, so true.
Rome wasn’t built in a day; masterpieces aren’t made without a few sketches and you can’t be afraid to throw it away and start from scratch. The only thing you can do is start over and pour yourself back into your work, no matter how much it drained you before.
See, i thought I was having a pretty solid day. But then news about heroic super duo White Skull and Bath Master turned up and now today is FUCKING EXCELLENT.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/1518133d4a043df223e3480fba04a987/tumblr_ngy84eodXM1txufzyo1_400.gif
Anyone who gave these assholes money for this stupid project deserves to be told to fuck off.
That said, I hope these guys aren’t planning to try to make a career out of crowd-funding their “art” because telling your backers to fuck off and that their taste is not simply pedestrian, but infinitely pedestrian, is not the path to career success.
Did he just call his movie a road to hell?
@Lady Mondegreen
Considering the way Aurini had treated him and he had to work with him…
. . . Donated bone marrow? To a documentary?
I think those skulls just stopped being funny.
I think he just did
We’ve seen a lot of really genuinely horrific manosphere bullshit lately; stuff that’s too awful to even laugh at. I’d like to extend a big thank you to Davis and Jordan for providing some old-school goofy Tom Martin style hard-chairs MRA comedy. (BTW, Any word on his documentary about how unfunny women are?)
Remember, their whole impetus for starting this nonsense was the (oh-so-easily debunked) #GamerGate meme that Anita didn’t fulfill her donation promises and therefore is a scam artist. Which makes this even funnier.
They are the monster under their own beds.
Isn’t it ironic that they’re getting up in arms about critiques about a documentary that’s supposed to be “critiquing” Anita Sarkeesian.
It’s so thick and delicious. Like salty sweet gelato.
“We’re doing a movie about video games, broadly speaking. Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe it was supposed to sound like that?”
In the world of landscape photography, one of the main rules is that your horizon must be level. If your horizon is skewed even a little bit, it makes for a bad image because it looks like you did a slapdash job. As with all rules there is one exception, called the “Dutch Angle” – which is an intentional tilting of the camera to effect a dramatic composure for specific composition.
How does one tell if the photographer is using Dutch Angle, or just took a poor shot? Well, the scene and composition must support it, and the photographer must make it *obvious* that it’s a Dutch Angle (so you don’t tilt the camera 2 or 3 degrees – you start at 45 and increase or decrease from there.)
As one of my photography instructors once said: if the viewer can’t tell whether you’re doing it intentionally or not, then you didn’t do it properly.
I think the same applies here.
@PandaPool I was actually relieved to see him sniping at Aurini in the comments. Sure it’s unprofessional as hell, but that’s to be expected. More importantly, it’s healthy that Owen harbors resentment for the way he was treated and can barely stand Aurini. The post-release recriminations are going to be GREAT, haha.
Sometimes trolling is ugly, but it can also keep things real. This is a perfect example. Two narcissistic man-children blowing their stacks cause the internet has become marginally aware of their existence, and their fragile delusions of grandeur are being assailed!
Owen’s also losing his lunch over a Cracked article that lampoons the documentary and the genius behind it. The word “libel” is being thrown around. Twitter loves the word “libel”! What’s he gonna do? Set up crowd funding to sue Cracked?
@PussyPowerTantrum:
I certainly won’t be inviting them to my next crafternoon. It would turn into a bloodbath.
I’m increasingly thinking that the two not only don’t know how to make a documentary but that neither one of them has even seen a professionally produced documentary.
And another thing, if anyone actually donated 10k (or, less believably 10mil) to these humanoids, we need to find them and stage an intervention, stat!
Ooh, I hope so. I’d love to see the fact that they’re a pair of scam artists proven in a court of law.
@PussyPowerTantrum
Me too. No one deserves the shit Aurini pulled with Owen. Owen maybe a shithead but even shitheads don’t deserve to be tortured by that dickhead.
Oh these two… I’ll miss them and their soap opera after their “film” “opens”.
And to think people actually gave them movie to do this. Oh the comedy!
I can’t wait to see the “finished” product. If it is as bad as it looks, there’s no way their target audience is going to accept that. We’ve already seen how poorly they deal with criticisms.
On a side note, Aurini telling Owen to block people is rich, considering one of the main complaints against Anita Sarkeesian is that she allegedly won’t accept accept criticism.
@Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Owen in court spewing hyperbolic paranoia would definitely extend the comedic gold of all this silliness!
@PussyPowerTantrum:
Totally. Owen is ridiculous, but Aurini is such a piece of shit that I feel bad for him.