I suppose I should mention the latest attempt at viral outrage from the always terrible Return of Kings boys: A post by B.R. Crumb with the deliberately offensive title “Why You Should Avoid Dating Girls Who Claim They Were Raped.”
The trolly Crumb is so unashamed of his trolliness that he actually devotes a chunk of his post to imagining an outraged reaction from me (“already I can see David Futrelle’s fourth chin trembling as he stammers his rebuttal in a fit of pique”).
So I might as well give him what he wants, a reaction, though it’s one of weariness rather than “pique.”
Crumb’s “argument” is that, while men shouldn’t necessarily “forego banging a raped chick (after getting her written consent, notarized and in triplicate)” they shouldn’t enter into relationships with them, because a dating strike against “chicks” who claim to have been raped will, as he puts it, undercut the appeal of rape. No, really.
Girls are fond of falsely crying rape because in the sexually liberated West, being known as a rape victim is all upside, no downside. Raped chicks are praised for heroism and bravery. Other people lavish attention on them, and ask them to speak about themselves at length, which for chicks is like crack cocaine.
In extreme cases, raped chicks have leveraged their purported suffering into international acclaim and seven-figure book deals. …
If men once again refuse to date raped chicks, rape will become once more an infrequent source of private and passing pain, and not an indelible merit badge to be trumpeted across all the media outlets in the land.
As you can see, his infallible plan to reduce the alleged appeal of rape is not actually a plan to reduce rape itself; it’s just a plan to try to get women to shut up about being raped.
In case this argument isn’t offensive enough for you, Crumb throws in a remark about raped women “orgasm[ing] underneath [their] alluring, bad-boy attacker[s].”
Crumb confesses that he doesn’t actually care much if men date “raped chicks”; they just need to announce publicly that they won’t.
What matters is that you say you won’t date raped chicks, and thus encourage girls to think that crying rape will hurt their romantic prospects.
Realize that we are fighting a war of disinformation, against an unprincipled enemy that is openly contemptuous of the truth. Nothing could be more tediously unproductive than arguing over facts with an opponent who has chosen to forego them. To win this fight, you have to hit the bitches where it hurts.
And for most chicks, that means attacking their romantic prospects—or, more fundamentally, their attractiveness. Even the most manjawed cunt secretly harbors fantasies of locking down a good man, marrying him, and thereby trebling her disposable income. Chicks will cry rape if it means endless, adoring attention with zero associated cost. But they won’t if they think getting raped renders them unattractive in the eyes of men.
Though the headline of Crumb’s piece refers to “Girls Who Claim They Were Raped” (emphasis mine), and he uses similar language in his post, he quickly forgets about including this qualifier, referring repeatedly to “raped chicks” — as if, on some level, he recognizes that the overwhelming majority of rape claims are indeed true.
Towards the end of the post, he seems to suddenly remember that he’s supposed to pretend that rape accusations are all a bunch of lies.
[I]f we band together in this effort, then someday, in the not-so-distant future, a 6.5 will find herself in her dorm room, regretfully recalling the night she got pounded out by the captain of her college’s club soccer team… and she’ll idly contemplate crying rape.
But then she’ll remember how much she likes the captain of the club swim team, and she’ll consider the impact crying rape would have on his opinion of her. And she’ll think better of her little lie.
And when she does, it will be because together, we took a stand against ever dating raped chicks.
He couldn’t even keep up the facade for more than two paragraphs; in the final paragraph of that quote, he has returned to talking about women that even he would acknowledge have really been raped.
And that, of course, is the whole point of his screed. His “plan,” of course, is really no more than a fantasy — a fantasy, not of a world free of rape but one free of all talk of rape.
He’s not really interested in shutting up women who lie about rape; he’s interested in shutting up those who tell the truth.
But there is a silver lining here: If the terrible men who make up the bulk of the Return of Kings demographic actually do refuse to date rape survivors, well, they won’t be dating rape survivors. Return of Kings has already declared dating strikes against fat women, women with short hair and probably a number of other kinds of women that I can’t remember at the moment. Ultimately, one can only hope, they’ll end up boycotting all possible categories of human women and settle into long-term and hopefully more-or-less sanitary relationships with their Fleshlights.
I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.
(I’m sure the comments to Crumb’s post are even worse than anything he’s written; I just don’t have the energy to wander into them today.)
CORRECTION: Crumb says he did not write the headline to his piece; I have reworded one sentence to reflect this.
David, I was somewhat recently given an example of a “good” MRA blog. I want to see your take on it. (Spoiler! There’s no such thing as a good MRA.)
https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/
Paradoxical Intention-
↑ This.
How the hell do these people get the twisted view that there is ‘no downside’ to being raped? Not only is the rape itself horricfic, many rape victims do not receive justice, are often still not believed and are often victim blamed. And if the case does get to court, talking about it in great detail in front people they don’t know and being heavily cross examined is a devastating experience. What the f**k makes them think that there is any ‘benefit’ to being raped at all?!
But, all in all, please stay the fuck away from me and other rape survivors RoK douchebags. You and your peens are not wanted here.
Seconded!
PS
More hugs and kisses if you want them! <3
Leisha Young-Me too! A cute pixie cut is SO easy to take care of and now it has the added bonus of keeping RoK douchebags away from me! YAY!!
Hmmm.. In my previous comment to Paradoxical it appears that the Block Quote Mammoth has struck again……by refusing to actually block quote! Interesting.
That an MRA* would say a thing like this is hilarious. It deserves a special, shiny entry into the hall of fame of statements which almost, almost achieve self awareness but avoid it by the most narrow of margins.
@Paradoxical:
Hopefully that ends well. My best wishes to yourself and your family, and my sense of powerlessness that I can’t do more than send best wishes.
*Or an off-brand MRA. We got this one from RoK so it’s probably a Neo-Masculinist or a PUA. Don’t cry, sweetie, it’s just as good.
Ah, so Mr. Crumb’s problem with rape victims is that they get all this attention and praise for being able to speak about their awful experiences. I’m sure we will soon hear similar complaints against cancer survivors and other folks who live through tragedy and talk about it in public.
To be honest, probably. Guys like this resent everyone for everything.
Liz Lemon: You get jealous of babies because of their smooth skin!
Jenna: And all the attention they get!
@Fruitloopsie
I’m so sorry you and your mom were put through all that. Glad things are looking up for you now, hope moving out brings nothing but good things.
@Paradoxical Intention & Fruitloopsie
Hugs if you want them.
This contemptible piece of clickbait is not only pathetic but staggeringly unoriginal. Another RoKspawn wrote this last year:
http://www.donotlink.com/framed?557078 ‘What To Do When She Claims To Have Been Raped In The Past’
Which, once he’s attempted to show that very few women really get raped, using insights like the fact he’s never met a man who admitted to raping anybody, concludes by saying he would never date a girl who claimed to have been raped.
RoK has a very limited range, and every note of it went stale a long time ago.
@Fruitloopsie, I really hope you and your mother do get to move away soon, people like your grandmother are best loved from a distance.
@Paradoxical Intention, I’m concerned to hear about your sister. While I don’t have all the facts I can guess this is not going to end well, even if her boyfriend’s parents are good to her. But ultimately these are her choices, right or wrong. I’m glad that you’ve at least managed to escape the cycle of abuse.
I wonder if it occurs to these turds that the great majority of women who claim to have been raped….have, indeed been raped (?)
@Bryce,
I think it’s occurred to them about as much as the fact that they are statistically more at risk of being raped than being falsely accused of it.
@sn0rkmaiden:
They don’t see themselves as being at danger of being raped. In MRA ideology, alpha men don’t get raped by other men. Betas get raped. The way for them to avoid being in danger is therefore not to work to overcome toxic masculinity and rape culture, but to avoid being betas.
This is why, in my opinion, MRA culture is so quick to shun and abhor anyone within their ranks who has bad things happen to them. It’s not about compassion, it’s about No True Scotsmanning to make themselves feel invulnerable once again.
Seconding the support and best wishes for Paradoxical and fruitloopsie. There is no “upside” to being raped, even though this guy seems to think it automatically lands you a seven-figure book deal and a guest spot on Oprah.
He’s angry that rape isn’t a life-ruining experience for every woman, so he wants to move in, get in the face of survivors, and properly “punish” them by playing the damaged-goods/spinster card. (There’s probably also an undercurrent of twisted jealousy at the idea that rape survivors have had sex, however unwelcome and devastating and horrible and unlike actual sex that experience actually was, because to these guys sex is the be-all end-all, and sex and rape are indistinguishable anyways). That’s why he’s not being a shitstain to cancer survivors, because cancer is random and undeserved. It isn’t supposed to be a moral punishment for bad behavior, whereas rape survivors are “supposed” to just crawl off quietly into a corner and disappear, not reclaim their lives, tell their stories, and *gasp* make rapists look bad.
This guy has yet to realize that the spinster card expired round about 1980. In fact, unbeknownst to him, it now offers triple reward points and cash back for every vile douchedinghy who loudly announces that he will no longer be peeing in the dating pool.
Heh. I’m a 6.453785, but I get deducted on technical marks for violating the Zayak rule.
@Paradoxical and fruitloopsie – hugs if you want them.
Yeah, no upside to being a victim. It’s always worse too when it’s family. In my case it was all swept under the rug and every family function I can see my abuser interacting with children even though my mom is like ‘oh they’re watching him’ it’s still sickening because what happens when he’s not ‘being watched’, you know? There’s also the fact that when you DO come forward so many people don’t believe you or find some way to blame you for what happened. (Yes, my four year old self TOTALLY seduced my uncle >_< barf.)
That being said, hugs and support and chocolate (or other sweet and tasty things) to all other survivors and victims out there. <3
Translation:
“Don’t rape the ones who tell. You might get caught.”
After I was raped at 15, I lost my entire friendship group because they were all friends with him as well and they believed him over me. Except for one, who told me that she’d been raped by him as well but was too afraid to tell the others because she needed their friendship, however false said friendship was.
ALL UPSIDE, NO DOWNSIDE!
Real question: What about the supraorbital torus (tori?)?
He thinks the only downside to being raped is that some rapist asshole might not want to date you?
Christ, what an asshole.
Does anyone else notice that these guys often fantasize about being everything they aren’t (aside from rapists. In all likelihood, they are rapists.)?
This guy isn’t a sporty college student. No woman anywhere is clamoring to get in his bed. The only thing he can be from this fantasy is a rapist. That’s what he thinks the cool kids are doing. This is his fantasy. He wants to victimize a woman and have her meekly keep his secret and come crawling back to him anyway. These PUMGRedpillAs always dream of rejecting women. Everyone knows no women want them in the first place. The PUA branch of the manuosphere is all about how to get women alone, drugged and vulnerable so they can be raped by men they’d never consensualy fuck.
“I’d never fuck a fat/tattooed/educated /short haired/mature chick! Ew! Gross! Hate. Hate. Hate. Blah. Blah. Blah.”
They’d beg for a scrap of any of those women’s attention and they know it. They’d jump through flaming hoops if they thought it gave them a glimmer of an iota of a chance. They’ve likely tried everything they could think of (Bless their shriveled black hearts, you know that didn’t take long.) and been brushed off. Why else would they be so angry? There are plenty of people in the world I’m not interested in fucking. I’ve never felt the need to take to the internet to rage about it.
“I walked by a guy on the street today and he just wasn’t my type. ARGLEBARGLERAAWWWR!”
They rape as revenge because they are the lowest forms of life on the planet and they’ll never be as good as the women they want to torment.
This whole PUA thing is a bunch of rapists and their pathetic fans preforming for one another. It’s chest beating and knob slobbering that they know isn’t going to get even one of them a date. They do it anyway because what else are they going to do? Improve themselves? Grow a conscience? Get hobbies and self respect? That’s alot harder than rage wanking with a bunch of other hollow, frustrated men online. They might die from mild exertion if they tried. They’re going to stick to these easy stuff. It’s all they know.
Orgasms from rape do not mean you like rape anymore than sneezing when someone blows pepper in your face means you like irritants up your nose. Friction, how the fuck does it work.
Meanwhile I don’t believe for a second these men have ever seen and orgasm that isn’t their own live.
Ohhh -.- is this really a grown person?
Internet hugs to all of you who survived rape. As someone who at most has been inappropriately touched, catcalled and groped, I cannot say I “know what you’re going through”. I don’t. I just don’t. I can imagine. I can empathize. I can try to put myself in your shoes, but I admit, I really just don’t know how you feel. But please accept my internet hugs as the best I can do.
I really am sick of all these people who assert ideas with absolutely no evidence, who claim they know what other people think or feel, and who project all their own messed up crap onto other people.
I am sick of all these people who don’t understand power differentials, who, in their messed up worldview, actually assert that the power tips in balance of the powerless. These are men who will brag about how much stronger men are than women so that we cannot even imagine a female superhero who has great strength and courage. Yet, women should be able to miraculously escape from someone who seems threatening and appears they might kill her. And male victims of rape, I guess, are only lowly omegas or the butt of some prison joke.
The only acceptable rapist for them is the back alley stranger, probably a person of color, wielding a knife or gun. If you know your rapist, well, you must be lying because you regret sex.
And this is something I don’t get: why would I claim rape if I regret sex? I’ve had some bad sex. I had a one-night stand that was really awful. Stupid and pointless for me. I was young and experimenting. And at the time, a guy who was my friend actually seemed to change his attitude toward me (he was at the party where I picked up one-night stand guy). We stopped being friends. I think he thought I was a slut. Anywho, I didn’t claim rape. I wrote the one-night stand guy off as unworthy of any further contact, and the “friend” who thought poorly of me was equally written off as not a true friend. The idea of claiming I was raped never came into my mind. Did I miss out on the millions of free monies and instant fame? /sarc/
Shorter B. R. Crumb Return of Kings post title:
Fixed it for him.
Also, any women MRAs refuse to date are women who won’t have to worry about being raped by a population that has a huge problem respecting consent in the first place …
… unless the MRAs are the type of rapists that rape regardless of whether or not they “date.”
I don’t want to conflate MRA with rapist, but when they promote shit like this … : – (
I have not been raped, but I have known many women who have been, and they certainly did not tell me or anyone without knowing and trusting that they would be believed and treated with respect. It is not something that they liked to talk about, and found it very painful. Only one had reported, and her rapist was acquitted.
ROK go on about ‘broken’ women quite a lot – and yet deny that rape happens. So how does this ‘breaking’ occur exactly? It leads to things like eating disorders, self harm, tattoos (reclamation of the body for herself imo) – the former 2 commonly associated with childhood sexual abuse and rape. But in ROK’s world there is no rape. Whatevs guys – stay away from us, that is fine and dandy by us – we are not interested in compassion free rape denialists.
http://i.imgur.com/uqKruz3.jpg
Toddler hugs for all the survivors, everywhere!
My experience of attempted rape was already terrifying to me. I was with a guy from my class that I had had a crush on for months during a party. and he kept insisting that we go to his place. I kept saying that I was not interested. When I noticed, he was taking me to a darker and desert area of the place. He threw me on the floor and proceeded to jump on top of me. I managed to kick him in the middle of his legs and get him off me. I run away and left the party. It took me years to tell this story to people. I mean, I knew the guy. I felt so ashamed, for some reason. Now I know that I shouldn’t feel this way. I cannot imagine the horror that is to actually be raped. I send my love to all of you rape survivors and hugs if you want them.
These RoK idiots… makes me so upset, I want to cry…
p.s.: one time, I was dating a guy and we started sharing upsetting memories we had. He told me his story. I told the story above and he said “oh… that is not that big of a deal”. argh….