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Sorry, MRAs, You’re Kleenex: Why Men’s Rights Activists have lost control of their brand

Cat enjoying genuine Kleenex brand facial tissues.
Cat enjoying genuine Kleenex brand facial tissues.

While Men’s Rights Activists are quick to label virtually any woman that they disagree with a feminist, they react with outrage when anyone who is not a self-admitted MRA is described as one.

The folks at A Voice for Men are still fuming about what they consider a “trust-shattering” media scandal: the fact that a bunch of news outlets wrote about a supposed Men’s Rights boycott of Mad Max: Fury Road, when in fact the virulently antifeminist Youtube blabber calling for the boycott wasn’t technically a Men’s Rights activist at all.

Meanwhile, there’s a dude cluttering up my Twitter mentions with demands I take some sort of action against a tiny handful of commenters on this blog who have referred to the woman-hating mass killer Elliot Rodger as an MRA, even though, as far as we know, he wasn’t one.

To which I can only say: Sorry, guys. You’re Kleenex. And you’d better get used to it.

I don’t mean to imply that MRAs are thin sheets of paper best suited to being used as disposable snot-collectors. What I mean is that MRAs, like the makers of Kleenex, have lost control of their brand name.

Just as the word “Kleenex,” a brand name designating the product of one manufacturer, has become, in popular usage, a generic term for disposable snot-rags, so “MRA” has, in popular usage, become a catchall term used to designate any and all varieties of woman-hating nitwits who think “misandry” is a bigger problem than misogyny. 

So why have Manospherians, Pickup Artists, Incels, MGTOWs, GamerGaters, “slut haters,” Dark Enlightenment “thinkers,” and assorted other types of woman-hating nitwits all found themselves labelled MRAs, much to the chagrin of some self-declared MRAs?

Well, dudes, it’s actually pretty simple: because no one but you — and close followers of the New Misogyny, like the readers of this blog — can tell the difference between any of these groups of people. Because 90% of the backwards beliefs you espouse are exactly the same. 

Take the idea of female “hypergamy” — that is, the notion that women are perpetually obsessed with finding a “better” guy, and will happily desert or cheat on “beta” partners whenever they get a whiff of a nearby “alpha.” This particular redefinition of a term that used to simply mean “marrying up” originated with White Nationalist F. Roger Devlin; now it’s a central belief of Red Pillers everywhere, from the reactionary plate-spinning PUAs of the Red Pill subreddit (where Devlin’s, er, seminal work on the subject is listed in the sidebar) to the “Men’s Human Rights Activists” of A Voice for Men (where no less than 35 articles have mentioned the subject, including 7 in their headlines, and where one writer declared Devlin’s writing “supremely indispensable.”)

MRAs aren’t PUAs aren’t White Nationalists, but there are a lot of people whose identity straddles two or more of these labels, and they all love talking about hypergamy.

As for Elliot Rodger, he wasn’t an MRA or a PUA or a White Nationalist, but he hung out on a website, PUAhate, whose participants were immersed in the same misogynistic ideology that drives so many MRAs; indeed, one of the site’s mods was a regular contributor to AVFM. If you read through book-length manifesto left behind, as I have, you’ll find a lot of anti-woman rhetoric that is virtually identical to the hateful nonsense you can find posted all over the broader “manosphere.”. He also was a believer in female “hypergamy,” offering his own chilling take on one “meme” depicting the alleged unfairness of women’s sexual tastes that you can find all over the manosphere.

This isn’t the same sort of mislabeling that happens when, say, someone calls Margaret Thatcher a feminist, or when MGTOWs describe contemporary marriage as a feminist plot to enslave men, or when some particularly confused commenter in the Men’s Rights subreddit, say, declares far-right Norwegian MRA Elvind Berge to be some sort of feminist because he has suggested that teen boys raped by female teachers are “lucky.” (Never mind that this is not exactly a feminist belief in the first place.)

No, it’s much closer to identifying a Puffs facial tissue as a Kleenex.

Or, to fall back on the classic Monty Python bit, mixing up the Judean People’s Front with the People’s Front of Judea.

The outrage over the Men’s-Rights-boycott-of-Mad Max: Fury-Road-That-Wasn’t has gotten nearly as silly as that Monty Python bit. Over on AVFM, the site’s excitable managing editor, Dean Esmay, has been posting furious post after furious post attacking the “bigoted hatemonger[s]” and “hate-filled bigots” who in his mind are promoting “fabricated bullshit” claiming that Men’s Rights activists were boycotting the film.

At one point, he even suggested that these stories might be the result of “an actual coordinated plan by corrupt journalists who want to inject slander of human rights activists into supposedly straight news.”

In case you’re wondering, when Esmay talks about “human rights activists” he’s referring to MRAs. No, really.

Esmay is right about two things: Aaron Clarey, who called for the boycott, isn’t an MRA, nor is Roosh V, on whose site Clarey’s post was posted.

But it’s not hard to see how Clarey might have been mistaken for an MRA, given that in his post he sounds exactly like one. Indeed, he sounds enough like an MRA that AVFM has posted a number of articles and videos by Clarey on its site, the most recent of which, posted last month, was an excerpt of the white writer’s rather presumptuous self-published book “The Black Man’s Guide Out of Poverty.”

The whole fake controversy reached new heights of silliness today, when AVFM posted a piece denouncing a Forbes writer for talking about the supposed “Men’s Rights” boycott of Mad Max: Fury Road alongside a piece … decrying a supposed “feminist takeover of Hollywood.” No, really.

How Dave Thier rationalized lying to Forbes readers about a nonexistent boycott  Why are reporters like Dave Thier of Forbes standing by their fake reporting of a nonexistent boycott of Max Max Fury Road?  Female Friends Watching A Scary Movie Together Why a feminist takeover of Hollywood is a problem and why it’s happening  The feminist takeover of Hollywood will not satisfy their hunger for power. Rachael Lefler attacks the subversion of art for feminist panderers.

I’m going to post five quotes below. One or more is/are from Aaron Clarey’s non-MRA call for a boycott; the other or others are from Rachael Lefler’s AVFM attack on Hollywood feminism. Can you guess which are which?

  1. “[T]his maddening obsession with a distorted concept of egalitarianism and fairness is never going to end … and Hollywood will keep trying to make films that meet their demands which are never able to be met, because the feminists will still find shit to complain about.”
  2. “[F]eminism has infiltrated and co-opted Hollywood, ruining nearly every potentially-good action flick with a forced female character or an unnecessary romance sub-plot to eek out that extra 3 million in female attendees.”
  3. “[Feminists are] totally fine with a movie that perpetuates negative stereotypes about men, since we all know men are just dumb oppressive shitlords who can’t keep their rape-sticks in their pants for five minutes.”
  4. “This is the vehicle by which they are guaranteed to force a lecture on feminism down your throat. This is the Trojan Horse feminists and Hollywood leftists will use to (vainly) insist on the trope women are equal to men in all things, including physique, strength, and logic.”
  5. “Feminists will never be satisfied by any work of fiction, no matter how in line it is with feminist principles. They can always demand more, and they always will. Their whole idea of “activism” is to cry about how they are being oppressed by the latest blockbuster and to angrily denounce the next one on Twitter.”

So which of the quote(s) above is/are from the NON-MRA article by NON-MRA Aaron Clarey, posted on the NON-MRA “Return of Kings” website, and which is/are from the post by MRA (or at least MRA-sympathizer) Rachael Lefler on AVFM, the most influential site of the Men’s Rights movement?

.

1, 3, and 5 are from Lefler (Team MRA); 2 and 4 are from Clarey (Team Don’t Even Dare Call Him an MRA You Hatemongering Bigots). Don’t beat yourself up if you got some wrong: I had to doublecheck the origin of a couple of them, even though I’d cut and pasted them into this post only moments earlier.

So yeah, MRAs, you’re Kleenex.

Now, I’m a stickler for details, so I will personally continue to draw distinctions between MRAs and the various other sects of New Misogynists out there. But not everyone else will. Some because they don’t know all the details, others because they don’t care to distinguish between 31 flavors of terrible.

EDIT: Rewrote the conclusion.

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Aaron
Aaron
9 years ago

Pandapoop

Every one of those feminist movements revolve around “women are the benevolent victims of da evil men’s”.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@Aaron

Still more variety than any MRA-like bowel movement.

Aaron
Aaron
9 years ago

“In case you haven’t bothered to read any other posts or comments anywhere at all on this site, I’ll tell you. We, the people you think you are talking to on David’s blog, think that men are perfectly capable of civilised, kind, intelligent, responsible — and every other kind of virtuous and ordinary and admirable — behaviour. Just as women are.”

But based on Dave’s Kleenex analogy, you must accept being grouped with them.

Aaron
Aaron
9 years ago

Pandapoop,

NOT!

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Reading comprehension fail Aaron. David isn’t lumping all men in with MRAs. He’s pointing out that different manospherians have identical misogynistic attitude. Fortunately for humanity, the manosphere makes up a tiny minority of men.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Pandapoop,

NOT!

Is it 1991 again?

Party on Wayne!

Party on Garth!

Schwing!

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@WWTH

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

No, but if I was a president I’d be Baberaham Lincoln.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

If Aaron was an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@WWTH

Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

Aaron | May 28, 2015 at 10:55 pm
Pandapoop

Every one of those feminist movements revolve around “women are the benevolent victims of da evil men’s”.

Oh, what a clever (NOT!) little troll you are.

Yes, feminism all centers around the fact that women are less privileged than men. However, it’s how each individual branch of feminism handles that fact or what issues they focus on or what activism they do that differentiates them from the rest.

With the Manosphere, it’s all the same bullshit in a different wrapper. It all boils down to “Women are evil bitches who are to blame for all my problems!”

They’re not out to help anyone, they don’t do any activism, it’s all just about sitting about on the internet and whining about women and thinking of ways to make them more miserable or to make them “submit” to them.

At the end of the day, it’s just about them whining that women aren’t taking their shit and accepting whatever blame the MRM wants to lay upon us.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@WWTH

OH DAMN I WAS TOTALLY GONNA DO THAT QUOTE.

You are the better quoter.

WE’RE NOT WORTHY!

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Waynes-World-Were-not-Worthy.gif

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@WWTH

Oh, uh, FYI. Wayne’s World came out in ’92. Just thought I’d correct that before the troll.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

But they were on SNL by 91 surely. I figured it was a safe guess!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq70l3ZHXS1r0qhsno1_500.gif

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Wayne’s World was directed by a woman; Penelope Spheeris. Misandry! No woman tells Mad Mike Meyers what to do!

katz
9 years ago

You know, Aaron, at some point your inability to tell things apart just makes you look stupid. It’s like if someone was trying to explain the difference between an orange and a banana and you kept insisting that they were all fruit and therefore all basically the same thing and saying “But they both have peels!”

Whereas telling the difference between an MRA and an MGTOW is like telling the difference between a lychee and a rambutan, if 90% of lychees were also rambutans.

Bryce
Bryce
9 years ago

@Pandapool

… then there’s gender essentialist rad fems that describe men as mutations that parasitize on women. You forgot to mention them.

And yes I get that the majority of MRAs are basically gender essentialists too.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Every time with you, Bryce. You’re starting to sound like one of those “I’m not an MRA but… ” false neutrality trolls.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
9 years ago

I don’t want to argue with these trolls everybody else did a good job.

Paradoxical Intention
Thank you you’re right there will always be someone who has it worse. You, I and everyone is equally important and deserve love, support and to speak up. I don’t like to speak for others like say women In the Middle East I’m a woman from America I don’t know what goes on over there so I should keep my mouth shut and I will listen to what they have to say.

Panda pool
“Then there’s womanism, which state “that sexism, class oppression, and racism are inextricably bound together”. It was created because many times, mainstream feminism ignored the plight of women of color, which can be unfortunately true.”

Excuse me I got to pull a sword out of my heart 🙁

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago

@Bryce

I didn’t list all 21, either.

misseb47
misseb47
9 years ago

‘Pandapoop’? Really, Aaron?

dbrvnk
9 years ago

“Like you, radfems rally against the mysterious patriarchy and like you are obsessed with rape culture, fat shaming, slut shaming, etc. You and the person below are similarly Kleenex:

https://icemountainfire.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/men-are-not-broken/

So a woman criticising men and institutions of male power and therefore advocating… not spending any time with men. Is exactly the same as all these assorted MRAs criticising women and therefore advocating… raping, killing or otherwise hurting women? And is the woooorrrrssst, scariest example of a radfem you can come up with? Like, do you realise how good you are making radical feminism look here? lol.

(has a radical feminist ever raped, murdered, beaten, oppressed, or otherwise materially harmed someone else? at all? I mean apart from Valerie Solanas, and speaking as an artist, the guy she shot kinda deserved it, lol)

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

But you do accept that radfems are feminists,

Radical feminists are indeed feminists.

thus they are part of your Kleenex family.

However, they are extremely easy to distinguish from, say, liberal feminists, for anyone who takes even 5 minutes to look into the claims of both groups. When you say you can’t distinguish them, you’re saying you haven’t taken even 5 minutes to do that.

The point is that the difference between MRAs and MGTOWs is so thin that a person has to invest hours of investigation to uncover the dividing line. The point is that the difference between those groups is so thin that one can read hundreds of comments by both groups before uncovering any difference at all. The way MRAs write about women (and they’re constantly writing about women) and the way MGTOWs write about women (ditto) is indistinguishable the vast majority of the time.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

There’s something almost delightfully meta about Aaron getting het up about people lumping MRAs and adjacents together, then happily lumping all feminists together and accusing us of hypocrisy. Not only is he being hypocritical and projecting it, he’s even hypocritical about the hypocrisy itself. It’s like it’s turtles all the way down.

Kootiepatra
9 years ago

There’s something almost delightfully meta about Aaron getting het up about people lumping MRAs and adjacents together, then happily lumping all feminists together and accusing us of hypocrisy.

It’s another one of those “I perceive that this word and/or concept is an SJW trump card (whether it is or not), so I will wield it against you (without understanding it), and declare myself victorious (even though I think the word/concept is bogus to begin with).”