Well, this is pretty freaking disturbing. Metronews.ca reports that
Toronto police are looking closely at video of a Toronto pick-up artist who filmed himself muttering about stabbing a girl who turned him down. …
“She deserves to f**kin’ like stabbed and cut up into tiny pieces for that s**t,” he says. “Like, I would f**king take her and her boyfriend and all her f**king friends down. F**king worthless pieces of s**t. She thinks she’s all that, just because she has the looks and s**t. I’ll show all these little bitches one day.”
In a second clip, [“xsouldeath”] appears to try to purchase a knife from a grocery store.
After news of this began to spread, someone who described himself as
E.J., the head coach of TdotPickup, a group that holds PUA bootcamps and coaching in the Yonge and Dundas area, called Metro Monday evening after speaking with xsouldeath. He said some of his comments had been misunderstood.
“This whole thing about getting them back, all he was talking about is basically getting them back by getting a really good-looking girl and rubbing it in their face,” he said.
Apparently, there is some mysterious language that resembles English in which “she deserves to f**kin’ like stabbed and cut up into tiny pieces for that s**t” actually means “rubbing it in their face.”
As for talking about stabbing a woman and cutting her up, E.J. said xsouldeath is not the type of person to do that.
So reassuring.
The video in which xsouldeath talks about looking for a knife at a grocery store was taken out of context, E.J. said. “Basically the whole reason he was asking for this knife was to find the cutlery section and they were not really understanding the English,” he said.
And then there was this plot twist:
Update: xsouldeath, the creator of the YouTube videos, appears to be EJ, the head coach of TdotPickup.
Creepy as hell.
While xsouldeath’s YouTube channel has been taken down, what appears to be his Google+ profile is still up (I’ve archived it here). In addition to posts about his own videos and a wide assortment of popular Youtube “prank” videos, xsouldeath posts videos from other PUAs as well as from antifeminist “philosopher” and self-described Men’s Rights Activist Stefan Molyneux and from obsessively antifeminist Youtuber Bane666au, whose frequently hour-long videos feature him as a talking skull in a pitcher of Koolaid.
What appears to be his Twitter account has been made private.
On the Toronto subreddit, meanwhile, someone writes:
I’ve known this person since High School. There are some stories I would rather not share about him on this page to save him dignity. But he needs Help. I am just really creeped out to approach him anymore.
I’ll post more later as the story develops.
What words would you prefer to be used?
I mean, there is fairly clearly someone with emotional disturbance and damaging ways of thinking. What word should we use to describe such a situation?
Mark, just drop it.
Mark. We don’t know this guy’s emotional state. He could simy be reacting rationally using fucked up social structure or worldview. His reading of the incident may simply be one of strong insult from someone who he thinks doesn’t have the right. The same sort of shit that got people of color lynched in decades past. The people supporting lynching were far too large a majority to be considered mentally ill, yet it happened. Just because we don’t like the conclusions other people come to doesn’t mean we know shit about their sanity.
Shit. I meant far too large a percentage.
Why is it always the MRAs who have the least charitable view of men? According to them, men are naturally inclined to be domineering and insecure, so women need to constantly be subservient to not upset them, to be rapists who “just can’t help themselves; it’s like if you put a steak in front of a starving dog”, and now (young) men are naturally inclined to LITERALLY BE MURDERERS.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with MRAs that they hold these kinds of awful opinions?
Right. Hormones. That must mean the Taliban and Boko Haram are just suffering from too much testosterone. Witch hunts? The church as a whole imply had too much testosterone.
>.<
Christ on a cracker, how many times are men going to deny privilege by claiming men are just naturally dangerous animals who should practically be kept on leashes to prevent them from murdering the rest of us?
That right there? That's how the patriarchy hurts men too.
Simply, not imply.
opium – Fair enough, I can see what is being said here – if we don’t want to make any assumptions about the cause of the behavior we should just say that it is a really bad idea, or a damaging behavior or something similar (I don’t think “asshole” is a great way of putting it).
Given my knowledge of present day Western-ish societies I would assume that someone behaving in that way was suffering from some form of emotional disturbance, but I can’t be certain of the social environment they have been exposed to or their motivations so I should just shut up about it.
On the other hand, I don’t think that the assumption of a patriarchal root to this behavior is any more justified than an assumption of a personal, emotional one.
Catalpa, Lea,
Young men do commit the vast majority of violent crimes, across (I think) all societies. I don’t think it is completely absurd to consider a biological cause. Is it?
Penny, who was quite wrong, was nevertheless making a nuanced argument. You belong in the 089 remedial course: “Why Fish Don’t Notice That They Are Wet.”
Righty-ho.
Considering a biological cause would mean you would have to come up with a reason why most men don’t commit violent crimes, Mark. In fact, common sense would then lead me to believe that socialization and a basic entitlement passed down from each generation to men would be a more valid reason.
Also, the word crazy is no longer appropriate because it has been used and abused by people in order to label and demonize “others” prejudiciously.
One example that should make things crystal clear is that the same men who think they are entitled to be appeased in all things because of hormones they supposedly can’t control in order to not commit violence, uses the word to describe women when they don’t behave the way men want them to, or because of THEIR hormones.
Using the word is just inappropriate now. Period.
Actually, Mark, the link between testosterone and aggression is very weak and disappears altogether when you define aggression as physical violence. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strange-but-true-testosterone-alone-doesnt-cause-violence/
I’m going to ignore the stated motive and decide it must be hormones. Biotruths! So rational!
POM,
There was a doctor some time back who out of curiosity had a fellow doctor commit him to a psch hospital as being Schizophrenic. What he found was that not only did no one ever notice that he had no symptoms but that he could not get out of the hospital until the same doctor came and got him out.
Here comes the TMI part of my word wall:
I have been talked down to and disregarded. For a long time I’ve let it happen because I felt like shit and expected to be treated like shit.
Because of my abuse and the resulting collateral damage I don’t expect people to trust me, especially about how I feel. I tend to be afraid to rate my pain higher than a 5 because I’m afraid I don’t know what “real pain” feels like even though I have a pretty good frame of reference. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m making it up. I hate asking for help. I don’t expect to get it.
A doctor once said I was rapid cycling in her office because I was laughing through my tears at being depressed. The fact is, I find the whole process both scary and ridiculous. I’m accustomed to laughing at my stupid, stupid brain. What else are you going to do? Sit down and die? It isn’t like you can cry more when you’re already sobbing. There comes a point where (to me anyway) it just starts to be morbidly amusing. It’s funny in a fucked up way. It’s funny like coming home and finding a dead dog in your living room when you don’t own a dog. She doesn’t know that because she’s never seen it from the inside looking out. She was an educated spectator, but still just a spectator.
I corrected her, but who knows what made it into the chart.
I’ll be lucky if I don’t have permanent nerve damage from the constant muscle cramps I’ve had for the past…year or more. I cannot recall when it started to really go down hill. It was a slow nose dive. I’ll also be lucky if I haven’t done damage to my heart. (Thank the stars I quit smoking!).
Depression and anxiety have come and gone for years, but this was different. I chalked it up to the past 5 years being very tough on me emotionally, but that wasn’t it. Or it wasn’t that alone.
I’ve been on muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories, mood stabilizers and a cornucopia of antidepressants. I’m slowly being weaned off until we find out what is helping and what is not. At one time I was told it was likely a personality disorder that therapy could help me with and I tried that too. I’d have let someone kill a live chicken over me and offer it to Papa Legba if there were any chance it would help.
A few weeks ago I could barely move it was getting so bad. I could sit on the porch and watch the kids play but I could not get up and join in. At one time I was into yoga and I’d always been limber. When I started to lose that I decided middle age was tough like that. I should have known better. Aging does not happen that fast.
Today I spent the afternoon chasing my kids through the park. I loaded every bit of sports equipment I had into my van and we made up for lost time. We’re doing it again tomorrow. The pain isn’t gone, but it isn’t immobilizing. My body doesn’t feel like it’s trying to make itself into a fist. I feel stronger. I sleep better. Meanwhile I’m eating fatty food and pounding down almond milk and oj. I’m down a dress size and still dropping. If I didn’t know what was happening, that would scare me. It feels like my body is rebuilding itself and I suppose it kinda is. At this point I’ve made peace with the fact my skin cancer will come back one day. I’m getting some sun. Better to be in pain one day than today. I’d like to live until I’m dead instead of decaying where I stand.
I don’t think I’ll ever come off all the mood meds and I don’t think further therapy would hurt me at all. But I know that no matter what is wrong with me, I’ll have to prove it isn’t a symptom of mental illness before I can get it treated.
So…that’s fun.
Oh, I’ve also started being friendly. That’s unusual. I think it will pass once the high from getting better passes. Until then I’m all:
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwyn4szCx61qcgqbj.gif
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/9/10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-10315-1376057487-16.gif
I said all that mess to say this: Doctors mean well but they are human and humans make mistakes. Be careful that they don’t literally kill you with kindness.
…and sometimes it is Lupus.
@Lea
I was right on board with you until this:
At which point I realized that you are far, far, far more charitable about it than I will ever be. Sometimes I think I’m broken somehow, from how utterly cynical I am about so many things.
I’m really glad you’re feeling better. That must be amazing! I know exactly how it is, to have to try to convince a doctor that yes, this symptom is really happening, you can trust me to tell you the truth here. I know I’ve told the story before about being disregarded, even though the symptom I was reporting was a clearly-visible, clearly-infected open wound. Invisible symptoms are the worst. I finally found a doctor who believed me when I said stuff, and I miraculously got treatment for things like mononucleosis that other doctors just blew off.
Then he retired. 🙁
Yes Mark, it is. It is fucking ridiculous. You are fucking ridiculous.
Correlation is not causation, you stupid fuck. There is zero science behind your ignorant claim. How’s about young men commit more violence (If in fact that is even true. You did bother to cite a source.) because there are more young men. (We don’t all get to live to be old.) Maybe it’s because by the time they are old violent men have either died by the sword they lived by or been imprisoned? Maybe they just have more energy to get out there and do some killing. I’ve never murdered anyone myself, but it sounds labor intensive. Maybe old killers don’t get caught because they’ve gotten in plenty of practice?
Maybe looking for a reason men kill women that does not include you or your attitudes is self serving motivated thinking. Maybe presenting your assfax as logix we need to treat with any respect is a prime example of the privilege that leads men to think women are beneath them?
@Lea *applause* You sound like you’re kicking ass.
When I suspected I had thyroid problems and was describing the symptoms to my doc, her face practically lit up at ‘depression’. I had to really downplay it to get her back on track, bc she didn’t seem to be hearing much else after that. I’m just really, really glad I knew it was thyroid-related bc otherwise I’d have walked out of her office with the wrong prescription, and no better. Also lucky that I know depression, with me, is a symptom of something else wrong in my body, first my gut and then thyroid… took me many years to figure that out*. I’m really lucky, and I know it. But yeah, it can take some convincing for other people to take you seriously bc… well, you’re having mental problems so you can’t possibly KNOW or UNDERSTAND what’s actually going on with your own body…
Before I got thyroid meds, I remember getting off the streetcar on my way to a friend’s house, and I was so deeply bone-sad crying for no reason, and I started laughing at myself and how ridiculous it all was, me walking down the street puffy and red-faced, streaming tears, wanting to curl up in a hole and never come out. I couldn’t not laugh. Brains are weird.
*I think the health care profession has a long way to go before they start investigating other physical causes of mental symptoms, unfortunately. I know too many people who were on anti-depressants for years before they finally got diagnosed with thyroid issues and properly medicated. /tangent
Historically, a lot of organized violence has roots in young, unemployed men. Young men who need jobs in order to support their families cannot find work, and the combination of frustration, fear, and a lack of anything else to do brews riots.
This pattern erupts over and over in poor countries, especially those that have wide disparities between the poor and the wealthy. In an environment of high unemployment, young men lose out to older men, who have more experience and are better entrenched in economic and power structures. (Women in these societies often do not work for pay, so they aren’t in competition for paid work.) When I refer to “families,” usually what this means is the extended family – a young man’s parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents. These men are often not married. If food prices start to rise in these conditions, violence frequently erupts, as a poor family can be put in immediate danger of literal death by starvation if food goes up in price even a small amount.
Wait, that was too high of a level of discourse for this discussion, wasn’t it? Biotruths it is!
This is always the quote that comes to mind for me when people try to “other” others to make themselves feel better*. Being self-aware and understanding that the capacity for evil lives in everyone is hard. Examining privilege (being cis, white, well in body and mind, etc.) and the accidental/unintentional injuries that it can cause is ridiculously hard. Let’s just all pretend that life is simple and that some people are irredeemably evil shall we? Sigh.
*also whenever that “stare into the abyss” quote comes up… like the abyss is external…
POM,
Don’t feel cynical. You’re right.
They don’t even have to think you’re mentally ill. You can just be young, poor and female. When I was in the hospital after my C-section I pointed out to the nurse that my IV was infiltrating. She ignored me. When I tried again I played dumb (I learned to make the light in my eyes appear to originate from the hole in my head. It’s easier than getting people to take you seriously.) “Oh my heavens! Why is the tissue surrounding my IV so puffy, yellow and painful? Do you know, nurse?”
She then “noticed” the infiltration and fixed my IV.
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/people-what-a-bunch-of-bastards-meme.jpg
@POM
SMH. That’s horrible. I can understand your cynicism, because… well, holy shit.
@Tracy
Oh, you haven’t heard that story? Well, that’s about all there is to it. I went to the doctor because I had a wound that was obviously infected and I wanted antibiotics. Instead the doctor could talk about nothing, literally nothing, except my psychiatric meds.
I have a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is incredibly competent. This was a general practitioner, and I’m not going to diss general practitioners at all, but I’m already seeing a specialist for this problem so why … ???
I wish I’d told the doctor off, but I didn’t. I just put up with it, and threw the script for whatever it was (probably Prozac, don’t really remember) in the trash when I left. Eventually the infection cleared up on its own, so I guess that’s good?
That’s only the most explicit and egregious incident. Like Lea has said, it’s hard to get symptoms taken seriously when a doctor sees psychiatric meds on your chart, and that goes 100x for invisible symptoms like “I’m tired” and “this hurts.”
@Lea
I think your last word there was the key one.
Last time I had strep throat, both the receptionist and the doctor told me I might as well go home because I didn’t have a high fever. I told them I’d been exposed to it, and I’m prone to it so I can tell the difference between a cold and strep sore throat. No matter. 5 whole days of spreading strep around the city later, the lab came back and confirmed I did have strep. That was without any mention of previous mental health issues, so I can only imagine how much worse it must be for some of you. Hysterical females are what we always are to doctors.