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Toronto police investigating PUA who posted video saying a woman should be “stabbed and cut up into tiny pieces”

Screenshot of what appears to be xsouldeath's Twitter account
Screenshot of what appears to be xsouldeath’s Twitter account

Well, this is pretty freaking disturbing. Metronews.ca reports that

Toronto police are looking closely at video of a Toronto pick-up artist who filmed himself muttering about stabbing a girl who turned him down. … 

“She deserves to f**kin’ like stabbed and cut up into tiny pieces for that s**t,” he says. “Like, I would f**king take her and her boyfriend and all her f**king friends down. F**king worthless pieces of s**t. She thinks she’s all that, just because she has the looks and s**t. I’ll show all these little bitches one day.”

In a second clip, [“xsouldeath”] appears to try to purchase a knife from a grocery store.

After news of this began to spread, someone who described himself as

E.J., the head coach of TdotPickup, a group that holds PUA bootcamps and coaching in the Yonge and Dundas area, called Metro Monday evening after speaking with xsouldeath. He said some of his comments had been misunderstood.

“This whole thing about getting them back, all he was talking about is basically getting them back by getting a really good-looking girl and rubbing it in their face,” he said.

Apparently, there is some mysterious language that resembles English in which “she deserves to f**kin’ like stabbed and cut up into tiny pieces for that s**t” actually means “rubbing it in their face.”

As for talking about stabbing a woman and cutting her up, E.J. said xsouldeath is not the type of person to do that.

So reassuring.

The video in which xsouldeath talks about looking for a knife at a grocery store was taken out of context, E.J. said. “Basically the whole reason he was asking for this knife was to find the cutlery section and they were not really understanding the English,” he said.

And then there was this plot twist:

Update:  xsouldeath, the creator of the YouTube videos, appears to be EJ, the head coach of TdotPickup.

Creepy as hell.

While xsouldeath’s YouTube channel has been taken down, what appears to be his Google+ profile is still up (I’ve archived it here). In addition to posts about his own videos and a wide assortment of popular Youtube “prank” videos, xsouldeath posts videos from other PUAs as well as from antifeminist “philosopher” and self-described Men’s Rights Activist Stefan Molyneux and from obsessively antifeminist Youtuber Bane666au, whose frequently hour-long videos feature him as a talking skull in a pitcher of Koolaid.

What appears to be his Twitter account has been made private.

On the Toronto subreddit, meanwhile, someone  writes:

I’ve known this person since High School. There are some stories I would rather not share about him on this page to save him dignity. But he needs Help. I am just really creeped out to approach him anymore.

I’ll post more later as the story develops.

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Mark
Mark
5 years ago

What words would you prefer to be used?
I mean, there is fairly clearly someone with emotional disturbance and damaging ways of thinking. What word should we use to describe such a situation?

opium4themasses
5 years ago

Mark. We don’t know this guy’s emotional state. He could simy be reacting rationally using fucked up social structure or worldview. His reading of the incident may simply be one of strong insult from someone who he thinks doesn’t have the right. The same sort of shit that got people of color lynched in decades past. The people supporting lynching were far too large a majority to be considered mentally ill, yet it happened. Just because we don’t like the conclusions other people come to doesn’t mean we know shit about their sanity.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

Shit. I meant far too large a percentage.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

Why don’t old men murder in anything approaching the numbers younger men murder? As someone who has been a young man, and is now an older one, I would assume it has more to do with hormones than a feeling of entitlement.

Why is it always the MRAs who have the least charitable view of men? According to them, men are naturally inclined to be domineering and insecure, so women need to constantly be subservient to not upset them, to be rapists who “just can’t help themselves; it’s like if you put a steak in front of a starving dog”, and now (young) men are naturally inclined to LITERALLY BE MURDERERS.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with MRAs that they hold these kinds of awful opinions?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Right. Hormones. That must mean the Taliban and Boko Haram are just suffering from too much testosterone. Witch hunts? The church as a whole imply had too much testosterone.
>.<
Christ on a cracker, how many times are men going to deny privilege by claiming men are just naturally dangerous animals who should practically be kept on leashes to prevent them from murdering the rest of us?
That right there? That's how the patriarchy hurts men too.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Simply, not imply.

Mark
Mark
5 years ago

opium – Fair enough, I can see what is being said here – if we don’t want to make any assumptions about the cause of the behavior we should just say that it is a really bad idea, or a damaging behavior or something similar (I don’t think “asshole” is a great way of putting it).
Given my knowledge of present day Western-ish societies I would assume that someone behaving in that way was suffering from some form of emotional disturbance, but I can’t be certain of the social environment they have been exposed to or their motivations so I should just shut up about it.
On the other hand, I don’t think that the assumption of a patriarchal root to this behavior is any more justified than an assumption of a personal, emotional one.

Mark
Mark
5 years ago

Catalpa, Lea,
Young men do commit the vast majority of violent crimes, across (I think) all societies. I don’t think it is completely absurd to consider a biological cause. Is it?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

On the other hand, I don’t think that the assumption of a patriarchal root to this behavior is any more justified than an assumption of a personal, emotional one.

Penny, who was quite wrong, was nevertheless making a nuanced argument. You belong in the 089 remedial course: “Why Fish Don’t Notice That They Are Wet.”

Mark
Mark
5 years ago

Righty-ho.

tealily
tealily
5 years ago

Considering a biological cause would mean you would have to come up with a reason why most men don’t commit violent crimes, Mark. In fact, common sense would then lead me to believe that socialization and a basic entitlement passed down from each generation to men would be a more valid reason.

tealily
tealily
5 years ago

Also, the word crazy is no longer appropriate because it has been used and abused by people in order to label and demonize “others” prejudiciously.

One example that should make things crystal clear is that the same men who think they are entitled to be appeased in all things because of hormones they supposedly can’t control in order to not commit violence, uses the word to describe women when they don’t behave the way men want them to, or because of THEIR hormones.

Using the word is just inappropriate now. Period.

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

Actually, Mark, the link between testosterone and aggression is very weak and disappears altogether when you define aggression as physical violence. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strange-but-true-testosterone-alone-doesnt-cause-violence/

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I’m going to ignore the stated motive and decide it must be hormones. Biotruths! So rational!

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

POM,

There was a doctor some time back who out of curiosity had a fellow doctor commit him to a psch hospital as being Schizophrenic. What he found was that not only did no one ever notice that he had no symptoms but that he could not get out of the hospital until the same doctor came and got him out.
Here comes the TMI part of my word wall:

I have been talked down to and disregarded. For a long time I’ve let it happen because I felt like shit and expected to be treated like shit.

Because of my abuse and the resulting collateral damage I don’t expect people to trust me, especially about how I feel. I tend to be afraid to rate my pain higher than a 5 because I’m afraid I don’t know what “real pain” feels like even though I have a pretty good frame of reference. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m making it up. I hate asking for help. I don’t expect to get it.

A doctor once said I was rapid cycling in her office because I was laughing through my tears at being depressed. The fact is, I find the whole process both scary and ridiculous. I’m accustomed to laughing at my stupid, stupid brain. What else are you going to do? Sit down and die? It isn’t like you can cry more when you’re already sobbing. There comes a point where (to me anyway) it just starts to be morbidly amusing. It’s funny in a fucked up way. It’s funny like coming home and finding a dead dog in your living room when you don’t own a dog. She doesn’t know that because she’s never seen it from the inside looking out. She was an educated spectator, but still just a spectator.

I corrected her, but who knows what made it into the chart.

I’ll be lucky if I don’t have permanent nerve damage from the constant muscle cramps I’ve had for the past…year or more. I cannot recall when it started to really go down hill. It was a slow nose dive. I’ll also be lucky if I haven’t done damage to my heart. (Thank the stars I quit smoking!).
Depression and anxiety have come and gone for years, but this was different. I chalked it up to the past 5 years being very tough on me emotionally, but that wasn’t it. Or it wasn’t that alone.
I’ve been on muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories, mood stabilizers and a cornucopia of antidepressants. I’m slowly being weaned off until we find out what is helping and what is not. At one time I was told it was likely a personality disorder that therapy could help me with and I tried that too. I’d have let someone kill a live chicken over me and offer it to Papa Legba if there were any chance it would help.

A few weeks ago I could barely move it was getting so bad. I could sit on the porch and watch the kids play but I could not get up and join in. At one time I was into yoga and I’d always been limber. When I started to lose that I decided middle age was tough like that. I should have known better. Aging does not happen that fast.

Today I spent the afternoon chasing my kids through the park. I loaded every bit of sports equipment I had into my van and we made up for lost time. We’re doing it again tomorrow. The pain isn’t gone, but it isn’t immobilizing. My body doesn’t feel like it’s trying to make itself into a fist. I feel stronger. I sleep better. Meanwhile I’m eating fatty food and pounding down almond milk and oj. I’m down a dress size and still dropping. If I didn’t know what was happening, that would scare me. It feels like my body is rebuilding itself and I suppose it kinda is. At this point I’ve made peace with the fact my skin cancer will come back one day. I’m getting some sun. Better to be in pain one day than today. I’d like to live until I’m dead instead of decaying where I stand.

I don’t think I’ll ever come off all the mood meds and I don’t think further therapy would hurt me at all. But I know that no matter what is wrong with me, I’ll have to prove it isn’t a symptom of mental illness before I can get it treated.
So…that’s fun.

Oh, I’ve also started being friendly. That’s unusual. I think it will pass once the high from getting better passes. Until then I’m all:comment image
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwyn4szCx61qcgqbj.gifcomment image
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/9/10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-10315-1376057487-16.gif

I said all that mess to say this: Doctors mean well but they are human and humans make mistakes. Be careful that they don’t literally kill you with kindness.

…and sometimes it is Lupus.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Lea

I was right on board with you until this:

I said all that mess to say this: Doctors mean well but they are human and humans make mistakes. Be careful that they don’t literally kill you with kindness.

At which point I realized that you are far, far, far more charitable about it than I will ever be. Sometimes I think I’m broken somehow, from how utterly cynical I am about so many things.

I’m really glad you’re feeling better. That must be amazing! I know exactly how it is, to have to try to convince a doctor that yes, this symptom is really happening, you can trust me to tell you the truth here. I know I’ve told the story before about being disregarded, even though the symptom I was reporting was a clearly-visible, clearly-infected open wound. Invisible symptoms are the worst. I finally found a doctor who believed me when I said stuff, and I miraculously got treatment for things like mononucleosis that other doctors just blew off.

Then he retired. 🙁

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Yes Mark, it is. It is fucking ridiculous. You are fucking ridiculous.

Correlation is not causation, you stupid fuck. There is zero science behind your ignorant claim. How’s about young men commit more violence (If in fact that is even true. You did bother to cite a source.) because there are more young men. (We don’t all get to live to be old.) Maybe it’s because by the time they are old violent men have either died by the sword they lived by or been imprisoned? Maybe they just have more energy to get out there and do some killing. I’ve never murdered anyone myself, but it sounds labor intensive. Maybe old killers don’t get caught because they’ve gotten in plenty of practice?

Maybe looking for a reason men kill women that does not include you or your attitudes is self serving motivated thinking. Maybe presenting your assfax as logix we need to treat with any respect is a prime example of the privilege that leads men to think women are beneath them?

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

@Lea *applause* You sound like you’re kicking ass.

When I suspected I had thyroid problems and was describing the symptoms to my doc, her face practically lit up at ‘depression’. I had to really downplay it to get her back on track, bc she didn’t seem to be hearing much else after that. I’m just really, really glad I knew it was thyroid-related bc otherwise I’d have walked out of her office with the wrong prescription, and no better. Also lucky that I know depression, with me, is a symptom of something else wrong in my body, first my gut and then thyroid… took me many years to figure that out*. I’m really lucky, and I know it. But yeah, it can take some convincing for other people to take you seriously bc… well, you’re having mental problems so you can’t possibly KNOW or UNDERSTAND what’s actually going on with your own body…

Before I got thyroid meds, I remember getting off the streetcar on my way to a friend’s house, and I was so deeply bone-sad crying for no reason, and I started laughing at myself and how ridiculous it all was, me walking down the street puffy and red-faced, streaming tears, wanting to curl up in a hole and never come out. I couldn’t not laugh. Brains are weird.

*I think the health care profession has a long way to go before they start investigating other physical causes of mental symptoms, unfortunately. I know too many people who were on anti-depressants for years before they finally got diagnosed with thyroid issues and properly medicated. /tangent

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Historically, a lot of organized violence has roots in young, unemployed men. Young men who need jobs in order to support their families cannot find work, and the combination of frustration, fear, and a lack of anything else to do brews riots.

This pattern erupts over and over in poor countries, especially those that have wide disparities between the poor and the wealthy. In an environment of high unemployment, young men lose out to older men, who have more experience and are better entrenched in economic and power structures. (Women in these societies often do not work for pay, so they aren’t in competition for paid work.) When I refer to “families,” usually what this means is the extended family – a young man’s parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents. These men are often not married. If food prices start to rise in these conditions, violence frequently erupts, as a poor family can be put in immediate danger of literal death by starvation if food goes up in price even a small amount.

Young men do commit the vast majority of violent crimes, across (I think) all societies. I don’t think it is completely absurd to consider a biological cause. Is it?

Wait, that was too high of a level of discourse for this discussion, wasn’t it? Biotruths it is!

Kate
Kate
5 years ago

“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918-1956

This is always the quote that comes to mind for me when people try to “other” others to make themselves feel better*. Being self-aware and understanding that the capacity for evil lives in everyone is hard. Examining privilege (being cis, white, well in body and mind, etc.) and the accidental/unintentional injuries that it can cause is ridiculously hard. Let’s just all pretend that life is simple and that some people are irredeemably evil shall we? Sigh.

*also whenever that “stare into the abyss” quote comes up… like the abyss is external…

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

POM,
Don’t feel cynical. You’re right.

They don’t even have to think you’re mentally ill. You can just be young, poor and female. When I was in the hospital after my C-section I pointed out to the nurse that my IV was infiltrating. She ignored me. When I tried again I played dumb (I learned to make the light in my eyes appear to originate from the hole in my head. It’s easier than getting people to take you seriously.) “Oh my heavens! Why is the tissue surrounding my IV so puffy, yellow and painful? Do you know, nurse?”

She then “noticed” the infiltration and fixed my IV.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/people-what-a-bunch-of-bastards-meme.jpg

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

@POM

I know I’ve told the story before about being disregarded, even though the symptom I was reporting was a clearly-visible, clearly-infected open wound.

SMH. That’s horrible. I can understand your cynicism, because… well, holy shit.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Tracy

Oh, you haven’t heard that story? Well, that’s about all there is to it. I went to the doctor because I had a wound that was obviously infected and I wanted antibiotics. Instead the doctor could talk about nothing, literally nothing, except my psychiatric meds.

I have a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is incredibly competent. This was a general practitioner, and I’m not going to diss general practitioners at all, but I’m already seeing a specialist for this problem so why … ???

I wish I’d told the doctor off, but I didn’t. I just put up with it, and threw the script for whatever it was (probably Prozac, don’t really remember) in the trash when I left. Eventually the infection cleared up on its own, so I guess that’s good?

That’s only the most explicit and egregious incident. Like Lea has said, it’s hard to get symptoms taken seriously when a doctor sees psychiatric meds on your chart, and that goes 100x for invisible symptoms like “I’m tired” and “this hurts.”

@Lea

They don’t even have to think you’re mentally ill. You can just be young, poor and female.

I think your last word there was the key one.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Last time I had strep throat, both the receptionist and the doctor told me I might as well go home because I didn’t have a high fever. I told them I’d been exposed to it, and I’m prone to it so I can tell the difference between a cold and strep sore throat. No matter. 5 whole days of spreading strep around the city later, the lab came back and confirmed I did have strep. That was without any mention of previous mental health issues, so I can only imagine how much worse it must be for some of you. Hysterical females are what we always are to doctors.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Oh, shit. I just now made the connection – maybe the reason I’m so tired all the damned time is the mono relapsing again.

Fuck. My doctor retired. How on earth can I ever get this properly diagnosed now?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Tracy,
I’m glad it isn’t just me.

I had a sort of “Ah-ha!” moment once when I was up all night crying. Everything I thought of to try to distract myself had something depressing about it. I could not get out of the cycle of trying and failing to get over it and I wasn’t sure what “it” was. But failing made “it” worse.

Then I laid eyes on ( of all things) a roll of paper towels and I swear I could “feel” my mind try to find something horrible about it to torture me with. I laughed. Nothing so mundane could be a reason to feel that bad. I could almost hear the gears of the depression machine locking up. It was such a relief because it showed me that nothing was really wrong outside of my perception of it being wrong. It wasn’t me being mopey or self-pitying. Everything about the world and me was not a hopeless shitastrophy. It was something wonky in my head. That meant I was going to be OK. Paper towels. That was what may have saved my life.

…and I still think that’s funny. It’s so ordinary. Why didn’t I miss it? Because life is ridiculous and weird things happen for no reason at all but that they just do. If that’s not the soul of humor, I don’t know what is.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

POM,
I hope you’re OK. I’m sorry you have to worry about not being treated. It’s bad enough to be sick. You shouldn’t have to deal with stigma on top of that.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Paper towels. That was what may have saved my life.

I won’t even try to tell you how ridiculously true this rings for me.

I hope you’re OK.

I will be. If this is a relapse (I’ve had 2 before, and it feels the same) it will go away in a month or two. There isn’t really a lot to be done about it, medically, but it’s nice to have a piece of paper with a doctor’s signature on it for those times when lots of energy is called for and I can’t summon it. You know, like sometimes happens at work.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@PoM

I don’t know how happy you are with your current doctor or even if you want to go through with this, but maybe you can ask your psychiatrist about doctors that are, you know, competent? I’m sure they know at least one doctor that doesn’t think it’s all in the patient’s head.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Jackie

I have. My psychiatrist is actually kind of old and semi-retired. The general practitioners he knows are mainly also retired or semi-retired and not accepting patients. :/ He knows lots of specialists, and referred me to a good orthopedist once, but we came up empty on GPs.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@POM – That sounds terribly frustrating, not to mention dangerous.

“Young, poor, female” – that reminds me of an experience, not as serious, but maybe on the same theme?

When I was at the clinic two years ago for worrying gastrointestinal symptoms (gas, constipation, cramps) I also told the doctor there that I’d been having worse pains before my period than ever before.

The doctor, a man, said something like: “Oh, but it’s normal to have menstrual cramps. A lot of women…” etc., as if he didn’t just hear me say that it hadn’t been that painful before.

Maybe I’m assuming things, but it seemed like he was just lumping me into some “women are like this” category without noting the change in pain levels, which is something doctors are supposed to take note of. I mean, usually that shit MEANS something.

(Thankfully it was just lactose intolerance. I changed what I eat/drink – lactose-free milk is expensive, so I usually just have it at breakfast – and I’m mostly feeling better now.)

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@PoM

Goddamn. I’m sorry. I figured you may have already tried. I really hope you don’t have to get the run around…again. Maybe you can find a website or something that shows mentally ill-friendly doctors in your area?

Maybe I should just try stopping to help because you didn’t ask for it. ><

epitome of incomprehensibility

Interesting fact: lactose-free milk isn’t actually lactose-free. They add lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, Anyway.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@epitome

Huh, didn’t know that. Kinda a misnaming, although I guess lactose enzyme rich milk doesn’t roll off the tongue like lactose free. It also explains why it doesn’t taste as funky as you’d think it would, if actual lactose-free milk does taste funny.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@epitome

Yah, it’s dangerous. Which is one of the many, many reasons I have zero patience for people who think that equating madness with whatever has a bee in their bonnet today is just fine. The link between “I use the word crazy for anything that doesn’t make sense” and “crazy people make no sense” is an extremely short and sturdy one. Crazy people are killed by medical malpractice all the time because they say stuff and aren’t believed.

@Jackie

Maybe I should just try stopping to help because you didn’t ask for it. ><

It’s okay. 😀 I, too, have the helper gene and I know how it is.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Are there things like walk-in clinics where you live, or is it that they exist and are ridiculously expensive? I’ve gotten referrals from one, though that isn’t the same as having a GP. (In Quebec the CLSCs are free – the waiting time can be punishing, though).

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Pandapool – It doesn’t taste that much different to me – maybe a bit sweeter?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@epitome

The problem is not finding a doctor, but finding one who will take me seriously after seeing Seroquel on my medication list. I could get an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow, but the idea of shopping around for one who won’t blow me off is exhausting (which is why I haven’t done it yet).

Lanariel
Lanariel
5 years ago

@PoM
@Lea

For my self, the worst part of interacting with the healthcare system was just before I got diagnosed with depression and was suicidal and were rapidly running out of things to distract my mind with. When ever we (me and may flatmate) called the Psychiatric Emergency the script they apparently had where:

Have you had these kind of thoughts before? If so did you find anything to distract yourself with? Have you tried that? Then they hanged up.

Luckily I have now found a therapist that cares allot.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@PoM

@epitome

Oh, hey, that’s something. Maybe PoM can take a “vacation” to Canada and “happen” to “need” to go to the hospital. Maybe our Canadian friends would “know” of an “area” that happens to “have” some “decent doctors”.

Lol, no, I’m kidding.

Unless that’s a good idea.

But otherwise I’m kidding.

But if it goes well, you know who gave you the idea.

The funny, jokey idea.

Ha ha.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/0402ca3821266581affd88022743b0a4/tumblr_n97b6qWIdM1qeyb9ho1_500.gif

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Lanariel

Holy hell. That is about the worst possible thing to say and at the worst possible time! I am flabbergasted.

I did call a suicide helpline once and they literally sent people to my house to be with me. It was actually more than I wanted and overwhelming, but I’d take that over “well, hope it works out for you! *click*” any day of the week.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@epitome

I haven’t had actually milk in years because 1) I had accidentally drank sipped spoiled milk a couple of times so I kinda stopped drinking it and 2) recently figured out I was lactose intolerant so now I actually never have to drink regular milk again, so I don’t really remember what actual milk tastes like, but lactose enzyme enriched milk is pretty alright. Although now I can’t have ice cream, but, you know, it’s better not to have it than be in pain and shitting myself. And I only take lactose enzymes when I have to eat things with lactose in it because I really don’t want to take a pill just so I can eat food, especially food I don’t really need, like cheese and stuff. Although I do miss cheese.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

Re: healthcare

Don’t forget if you’re overweight or a body type that is generally considered to be too heavy! Then you get the fun of doctors immediately assuming everything that’s wrong with you is just a symptom of how fat you are!

Moving onto another topic, apparently the ‘finding random mundane thing inexplicably hilarious’ is a reasonably common occurrence with depression? Allie from hyperbole and a half also describes that happening, along with a very informative(and morbidly entertaining) description of depression.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

Young men do commit the vast majority of violent crimes, across (I think) all societies. I don’t think it is completely absurd to consider a biological cause.

Hey, do you ever notice how the vast majority of people who pee in urinals are men? Clearly men must be biologically driven to urinate in weird porcelain sink-like objects, because there is no such thing as a learned behaviour, only instincts and hormonal urges.

There is further proof in this that the vast majority of men who do not pee in urinals are either toddlers, extremely elderly men, or drunk men, because toddlers and old men don’t have the same hormones as adult men do, and alcohol screws up your hormones. I don’t have a link or studies to prove that, but it totally makes sense, right? Can you feel the truthiness?

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

Lea-Congrats on finally getting a correct diagnoses and congratz on feeling much better and kicking so much butt! I am a little angry at the doctors, though. Why did it take so long to diagnose something as basic as anaemia and vitamin D deficiency? I have vitamin D deficiency as well as hypothyroidism and I have experienced how physical conditions can cause depression. Luckily for me I managed to get the hypothyroidism diagnosed early. I was experiencing some very unusual symptoms and thyroid function was just one of the many things they tested for. I was experiencing numbness and tingling in my mouth, and in one hand and arm. If it wasn’t for that, I probably would never have been tested and I would have ended up on antidepressants. The funny thing is they never found out what caused those symptoms and I never had anything like it again. 😀

Mew York Kitty (@CCMSparkster)

>XSoulDeath
I’m sorry. I know this is horrifying, but I can’t stop loling at how edgy that name is. He makes Bismuth look like a cotton ball.
CrawlingInMySkin/10

Also, you’ve got to be a special breed of stupid to post that on a YouTube video and not expect to be questioned by the police.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

To all the people who think that being disallowed from using a small handful of words on exactly one website is tantamount to Orwellian censorship:

If you, personally, donate a few dollars or help lobby the government of your country for better mental health care, I’ll drop my dissent. If you truly believe that these people need help and aren’t just othering them, then what do you have to lose? And hell, America’s mental health system in particular needs all the help it can get.

Hello?

http://i.imgur.com/IxGE5F7.gif

Meredith
Meredith
5 years ago

Lea, I might be completely off-base and this might be unwelcome but – I noticed you mentioning you were limber. Have you ever read about hypermobility syndrome/ehlers-danlos? I’ve seen some of my fellow bendies mention muscle spasms as a problem for them.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

Ugh, regarding doctors and obesity. They tend to assume obese people are simply ignorant of portion sizes and/or lack willpower. I could probably rattle off portions and approx calories faster than they can look them up.

Oh and god forbid you have a nuanced question.

I told this story once before, but figure this is a good time to repeat it. I had lost significant weight. I think I was down 80-100lbs. My doctor said “This is gonna sound terrible, but you look human now.”. I was too stunned to respond. He wasn’t even bad on this subject. However, some of that might be that I was able to demonstrate my knowledge early on and so he didn’t start off as condescending.

Another time I remember being prescribed Metformin and low dose aspirin by the same doctor. When I asked about the fact that metformin and NSAIDs counteract each other, I was given a printout from Wikipedia that said aspirin was a salicylate. While true, this doesn’t mean it is not also an NSAID. This doctor was a hospitalist who was unfamiliar with me and never saw a problem he couldn’t throw a pill at. I walked out of the hospital with 7 scripts and 2 scripts for OTC things, vitamins and fish oil.

Mine are so minor compared to the shit others have described here though. Luckily, my issues have always been obviously symptomatic.