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alpha males antifeminism do you even lift entitled babies gender policing red pill

“I wonder if there’s a single person writing on ‘toxic masculinity’ who could out deadlift a certified alpha,” Red Piller wonders

Do you even lift, baby?
Do you even lift, baby?

Here’s what is unquestionably the Red Pill Quote of the Day. Well, to be perfectly honest, of two days ago, but I only saw it just now. It comes courtesy of the FeMRADebates subreddit

toxic

H/T — TheBluePill

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Bacon
Bacon
5 years ago

I suspect the first problem with that challenge would be: How do you find a ‘Certified Alpha’? Is there a regulatory body somewhere in the manosphere handing out certificates of masculinity, and how much do you have to deadlift to get one?

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

So, they’re figured out that there are exercises besides pull-ups and push-ups. I suppose that we can call this progress?

Also, from what I remember of GayLubeOil, he is a fantastic example of toxic masculinity.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

“We’ve developed a positive concept of masculinity.”

“If you don’t lift (bro), you’re not a certified alpha manly man’s man mangaroo manpants.”

Not only did this twit defeat his own argument, he gave the person he was crying about a two-lap head start and a trophy.

Lordcrowstaff
Lordcrowstaff
5 years ago

Ah, I remember this from my time I was in university. First, we debated German constitutional law, then we deadlifted a member of parliament. If you could not lift said politician, your argument was invalid.

I always knew that lifting your member was essential to RedPill culture.

magnesium
magnesium
5 years ago

Here you go, Redpillers, I found one for you http://www.themarysue.com/terry-crews-on-feminism/

Best of luck!

friday jones
friday jones
5 years ago

Could a certified alpha male conceive a hypothesis too odious for even him to raise in public? Do you even raise hypotheses, bro?

analgender
5 years ago

I know it’d be playing into the bullshit macho stereotype that physical prowess equals moral superiority to take this fella up on this. But a part of me would relish the challenge (assuming competition rules- a competitor in the same powerlifting weight class as me etc etc). It’s not as though seeing proof of a man opposed to the toxic masculinity these people espouse, who can also lift heavy ass weights, would change anyone’s mind or anything. Might be fun though.

sevenofmine
5 years ago

I personally loved the “why not describe the highly disciplined red pill man who’d never damage his health for momentary pleasure?” thing. Um, maybe because that’s not what that particular essay/paper/article/whatever was about? Do you even brain, bro?

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

I lift.

Anyway…since most licensing systems require those accredited to pay, I think there’s an awesome business opportunity here for someone with enough tolerance to put up with these ‘alpha’ schmucks. Not me, alas. And being a fat, short-haired feeeemale, I guess they wouldn’t want my opinion anyway, even though, I do, y’know, lift.

But it’s kinda fun thinking about the arbitrary tests of manliness and putting these guys through their paces. Obvs. there would be both written and practical exams.

becausescience
becausescience
5 years ago

He must be reading a different red pill than the one I’m aware of, because on the red pill I know, it’s a bunch of guys spending all day whining about feminism, liking what other red pillers tell them to like, and spending their every waking moment trying to figure out how to have sex with people they don’t even like, all while claiming they’ve awoken to the truth about how the world REALLY works, and that this is all super logical, and that anyone who disagrees is a sheeple who hasn’t woken up yet.

becausescience
becausescience
5 years ago

And we should definitely evaluate theories based on factors like how much researchers can lift. In fact, lets toss out the scientific method altogether and replace it with a system where the scientist who can beat up all the other scientists real good is the one whose theory becomes the accepted consensus.

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
5 years ago

wooo yeah u can lift bro that’s excellent i know one two three four five six seven eight nine ten different ways to put you on the ground with minimum effort on my part

ps is this disciplined red piller who would never risk his health for pleasure the same guy who brags about not using protection please tell me he is

epitome of incomprehensibility

I dunno. The Alpha Male Certification process is pretty tough. Not only do you have to benchpress 100 kilos, compete in a triathlon, do two months basic training in your local military, and swim 4 km without stopping (half of that in butterfly stroke, except “butterfly” isn’t a manly term, so call it “rhinoceros stroke” instead), but you also need three letters of recommendation from personal trainers, and even a well-paid personal trainer will be so jealous of a manly-man’s alphaness that he’ll (not “she’ll,” of course, never a she) botch the whole thing. But it will still be women’s fault because men compete for women, of course, which is the Law of Nature and also women being evil.

I’ve heard that the Ultra-Alpha Male Certification requires you to read all of Finnegans Wake aloud while balancing on an exercise ball, but maybe that’s just a rumor propagated by feminist James Joyce fans?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

http://www.powerliftingwatch.com/records/raw/women-world

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/11/28/77-year-old-woman-can-lift-more-weights-than-you/19640963/

I’d love to see these so called “alphas” try to tel those women that lifting is for men.

What keeps these guys from learning what words mean? Is there a special force field? Do they wear amulets of confusion? Is it a curse? I’m bewildered by how often they fight straw men (straw misandry!) because they have no idea what those words mean. Toxic masculinity has nothing to do with being a man or fitness of any kind. What? How? I can’t…

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Marty-McFly-Confused-In-Back-To-The-Future-Gif.gif

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

I’m not a man but a FEEEEEEEEMALE and if you want my advice I say go for it. If you want to lift, watch action movies, watch sports, read car magazines, etc then go for it. If you want to watch My little pony, listen to opera, cook, garden, etc then go for it too. I think it’s manly when a man does it and womanly when a woman does it and both are equally awesome. It doesn’t make you less of a man/woman it just makes you a person who likes those things.

The red pill are very hypocritical. Complaining about masculinity is being seen as toxic which they are the ones are making it that way in the first place and encouraging it. And that masculinity is supposed to be about doing things your own way without listening to others control you. And here they are doing the exact things that they say are against.

Alaisvex
If women are children does that make straight men pedo- I mean ephebophiles?

And that second one:
Men are already hunting us down
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwmiosJKa1riiw1do1_500.gif

Women professional lifters/body builders can outlift any of these “Alfalfas” any day.

brooked
brooked
5 years ago

When I can read the work of masculine role models like him on reddit, why would I talk seriously the conceptions of masculinity by someone else? It’s so foreign to what being a hyper masculine man is all about.

I’m not particularly surprised that a TeRPer would consider academia, journalism and all other non-reddit sources for information useless. I don’t totally buy that he doesn’t click on The Daily Mail links that litter reddit posts, it’s their number one independent source for news and cited by manospherians everywhere.

I did chuckle at the idea that he believes idiotic posts on reddit are an example of a great thinker’s “work”.

roguepixie
roguepixie
5 years ago

So that’s the definition of “alpha male”? Someone who can out lift an academic?

I’m so glad that’s finally been cleared up. After all, they wouldn’t want to confuse us with a lot of nonsense, would they?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

My husband once printed out and lamented a licence to kill for me to keep in my wallet. I may need to make him a certificate of Alpha Manly Man-ness.

He’s so cool. When I was still trying to quit smoking he made and framed a small poster that reads, “Machete don’t smoke” to help keep me strong. Looking into Danny Trejo’s disproving glare did help. If you are trying to quit, try keeping a picture of Machete in your living room. It worked for me.

becausescience
becausescience
5 years ago

I did chuckle at the idea that he believes idiotic posts on reddit are an example of a great thinker’s “work”.

“Great thinker” = Guy who tells me stuff I want to hear.

becausescience
becausescience
5 years ago

And that masculinity is supposed to be about doing things your own way without listening to others control you. And here they are doing the exact things that they say are against.

This aspect of “alphaness” always cracks me up.

A “real man” does what he wants but he needs anonymous strangers on Reddit to tell him how to act, how to dress, what to think, what type of women he should be attracted to, what to say to women, how to smirk, what kind of music is “alpha”, the most alpha way to stand while waiting in line at the supermarket, the most alpha kind of socks, etc.

lkeke35
5 years ago

It’s okay, Lea. We know you can’t even, because no one can. I know I can’t.
Not even they…can.

The ‘Amulets of Confusion’ should definitely be a thing. Can someone make those? Like Wonder woman’s bracelets? When you think a “fact” might be heading in your direction, just throw your arm up and the bracelet will deflect it, thereby keeping you “fact-free.”

Actually, Danny Trejo’s disapproving glare will stop anything right in its tracks. The next time I go on a diet, I’m going to take your suggestion.

steampunked (@steampunked)

My partner can bench 100 kilos and writes articles for support groups on toxic masculinity, does that count? He does a lot of ‘traditional’ manly things like messing around with cars, building houses, etc. He also paints his toenails, it’s almost like people are complex individuals…

I only managed to get to 50, myself. We could use that as the minimum ‘weak academic standard’.

I am so tempted to make myself an accredited alpha license…I have a laminating machine! What else should be on it…sock puppet, maybe?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

steampunked,
http://reptilis.net/index4/chlamydosaurus2.jpg

^This but with little weights photoshopped in his widdle hands?

Linnea
5 years ago

If I’m a woman who can deadlift over 300, can I get certified as an alpha male???? It would be fun to watch their heads explode.

Tessa
5 years ago

It’s basically doing to men what high school health classes are trying to do to sex and marijuana and it’s so toxic.

Does anybody know what health classes are doing to sex and marijuana? I can only think of “providing education about,” and I can imagine these guys hate all things educational and informative, but I don’t believe that’s what they mean.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

Hey, David! I read a book where you were referenced! (Uh, it was only one out of a hundred pages of footnotes, but still, YOU WERE REFERENCED.)

RE: Lea

I just saw Machete last night! It was way more awesome than I expected to be. Good choice in motivation role models.

opium4themasses
5 years ago

@LBT Wow, what book is that?

Also, I saw a hilarious renfaire interpretation of “Do you even lift, Bro?”. ” Dost though hoist perchance, good sir?” Thinking of that changes how seriously I can take people who think lifting is life.

ej
ej
5 years ago

I did chuckle at the idea that he believes idiotic posts on reddit are an example of a great thinker’s “work”.

The guy goes by the name “GayLubeOil.” Clearly, he is just oh so clever. One of the great thinkers of our time. /sarcasm

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

@Tessa

I think “misinforming” is the word they were looking for put couldn’t figure out because it’s four syllables. I know D.A.R.E. is still around telling kids marijuana is a gateway drug and the devil and shit.

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

@fruitloopsie,

If women are children does that make straight men pedo- I mean ephebophiles?

And that second one:
Men are already hunting us down

I don’t know why he thinks that misogynists aren’t already hurting and killing women, mostly because those women have vaginas and won’t give those cishet men access to those vaginas. (Somehow, I doubt that he’s acknowledging that trans women are even more likely to experience male violence.) Still, I do know that if they wanted an example of a positive redpillock and they picked GayLubeOil, that speaks pretty badly about the state of TRP reddit.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: opium4themasses

@LBT Wow, what book is that?

It’s the Witch-Hunt Narrative, by Ross E. Cheit. It’s a 500-page bookslab about distortions and fabrications around the idea of child sex abuse being a witch-hunt. It is a hell of a slog, but actually might be interesting to the folks here, because a LOT of the old MRA talking points about false accusations date back to these myths.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

It does seem like a lot of red pillers claim to be paleo dieting cross fitter types. There’s every chance they’re full of shit. But if they’re telling the truth, it doesn’t convince me of their superiority, it just justifies my preference for slightly skinny or pudgy guys over super buff guys.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

If any diet requires I give up things like bread and dairy, it is not the diet for me.

Orion
5 years ago

LBT (& Rogan, it seems?), thank you for the recommendation. I will definitely have to read this book, because it’s very different from the story I grew up with, but it sounds plausible. If there was more the the seemingly-discredited cases from the 80s and 90s, I want to hear about it.

I’m raising my eyebrows at the title though, because I’ve been told that the child abuse panic included a literal witch hunt, in that people started looking for actual witchcraft and satanism. I’m completely prepared to believe that the “satanic panic” has distracted from other important things that happened during that time period, but framing it this way feels insensitive to those victims.

Do you have any thoughts on that?

tiffany267
5 years ago

Still trying to figure out why being strong, pursuing one’s own interests, valuing oneself, acting as an individual, not giving time or happiness away for free, and requiring that people add value to one’s life in order to be in it ARE RESERVED FOR MEN.

Orion
5 years ago

Why is he called gaylubeoil? He seems invested in heterosexuality.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: Orion

The book SPECIFICALLY takes on the cases of the 80s and 90s. That is, in fact, it’s primary reason for existing; it was originally intended to be a rebuttal to Satan’s Silence, from 1995, but the sheer amount of research required took almost twenty years. Cheit takes his research SERIOUS.

I’ve been told that the child abuse panic included a literal witch hunt, in that people started looking for actual witchcraft and satanism.

It’s complicated. Basically, there were a few isolated incidences of overreaction… which then blew up into this MYTHOS that everyone was on an actual witch-hunt. Everyone’s “been told,” but there’s actually precious little hard data to actually back it up! A lot of things that people CLAIM are fantastic details aren’t actually fantastic at all. (For example: events in the basement; forced oral sex. Those happen in ordinary sexual abuse cases, and have nothing to do with satanism or witchcraft, but the people who formed the narrative acted like they were.)

There is SOME overreaction, yes… but mostly, they are isolated pockets in a sea of underreaction. And people USED those incidences of overreaction to encourage continued underreaction.

I got my hands on this book because Debbie Nathan, who wrote Satan’s Silence, also wrote Sybil Exposed, and I found she has an antagonistic relationship with facts. This book was everything I wish I’d had fifteen, twenty years ago, but it is NOT a fun read.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Orion

I remember the satanic ritual abuse panic in the late 80s. It’s pretty much bullshit. It was a massive moral panic and there was never any evidence or any logic to the idea.

That’s not to say that no children were ever abused, however. The satanic ritual abuse panic came out of poor interviewing techniques, and an effort to “other” child abuse. Child abuse couldn’t possibly be done by ordinary upstanding citizens; it had to be satanists!

Most of the moral panics seemed to originate with one child, or a few children, who probably did suffer some kind of abuse. The adults would then spin out this elaborate story about satanic cults and pressure both those children and other, non-abused children to corroborate the cult story. It did a disservice to both the innocent adults who got caught up in the dragnet, and to the children who had suffered abuse when the non-innocent adults wound up going free because the satanic cult story was so obviously false.

… where men … don’t give their time or happiness away for free, require that people add value to their lives in order to be in it …

Social capital? What is that?

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: Policy of Madness

Yeah, there was never a widespread network of cults or pedophiles working to abuse children. That, far as we know, isn’t a thing.

However, there wasn’t even that huge a panic over it. Again, it was a few instances of overreaction, drowning in a sea of UNDERreaction to child abuse. And ritualistic behavior in abuse actually is a thing–it’s just often not actually SATANISM. Also, how people DEFINE ‘ritual abuse’ tends to be… uh, not very scientific. I mean, by some of the standards, WE would’ve been ritually abused, and we were not.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

Here is a short article by Cheit about the whole Satanic ritual abuse thing. You might recognize a name; I KNOW Christina Hoff Summers has been snarked here before!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

More a voice for men memes. There is one with a man with a black eye has comments on the bottom suggesting ideas how to deal with abusive women: murder them.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

fruitloopsie,
When you consider what MRAs think of as abuse from women, that’s scary. “Divorce rape”, “Date fraud” that is supposed to be the equivalent of date raping a man by not fucking him after he’s buys dinner, making “false” allegations of abuse etc. They really hope to incite men to murder women. I hope the FBI is keeping tabs on them, but I doubt they are.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

That’s misandry women/girls not being slaves, not obeying them, calling them out, etc. I reported to Facebook but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Ah, Satanic Panic. I actually met a social worker who believed in it once.
Thankfully, only once. That I know of. 🙁
But this is the kind of place where people used to think role playing games caused demon possession. At one point I remember some stores refused to carry Count Chocula cereal lest it lead children into the occult. In the 90’s there were still preachers who believed subliminal backmasking lead to teen suicide and that the Eagles were secret Satanists. Meanwhile at church we were singing “Washed in the Blood”. Talk about your mixed messages.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

However, there wasn’t even that huge a panic over it.

It was on national news. There were weeks of news stories about these satanic cult cases. I remember there was a warehouse near the edge of town, and all of the kids in my (very small) town believed that that was where the satanic cult did their thing in our town.

I don’t really know how that can’t be classified as a “huge panic.”

Some of the details of these stories were just ludicrous. 10 year old girls being forcibly impregnated, forced to give birth, and then their babies being sacrificed to Satan was … not a claim that makes sexual abuse seem more plausible. When irresponsible interviewers wove these kinds of details around very plausible stories of abuse, they sabotaged any hope of that abuse being prosecuted.

LBT
LBT
5 years ago

RE: Policy of Madness

When irresponsible interviewers wove these kinds of details around very plausible stories of abuse, they sabotaged any hope of that abuse being prosecuted.

Aaargh, this is getting hard to explain. The media made a big deal about it, yes. People believed it, yes. It caused some bullshit trials and accusations, yes. But also, often, people were very misleading about these accusations HAPPENING. The interviewers fucked up, definitely! But people also blew up their screw ups out of proportion.

I’m going to use the Frank Fuster case as an example, because this is hard. (Warning to folks: it’s got child abuse shit in it.) People sometimes paint it as a “Satanic panic” thing because there were accusations that Fuster, in his illegal home daycare, frightened children with masks, used a dead bird to frighten the kids, and had a fascination with shit. Absurd, right?

Also sadly true. He DID do all those things. They found the masks at his house. They found family photos he’d taken and hidden in his mattress of his young son raising the skirt of a young woman, her underwear stained with feces or blood. There was another picture of his son crouching terrified in the bathroom with shit smeared everywhere. It was PROVEN that he did these absurd things.

Nowadays, people claim that the children made stupid claims about riding sharks and eating other people’s heads. Absurd, right? Yes. Untrue, right? Yes. But the kids NEVER MADE THOSE ACCUSATIONS. The shark riding reference was a kid discussing a nature program on TV, not anything abusive. There was no eating of anyone’s heads every claimed anywhere in the interviews!

There was no ritual or Satanic abuse in the Fuster case. But there was sexual abuse.

I’m not saying there weren’t fuck ups and moral panic. I’m saying that people in the media and as activists exaggerated how deep that panic and fucked-uppery WENT to advance their own causes.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

I don’t remember anything about riding sharks. It was mostly about organized cults meeting in school basements and warehouses to sacrifice babies to Satan … and oh, by the way, sexual abuse of kids was in there somewhere. And I don’t think the kids made up anything. It was the adult interviewers making up stupid shit and pressuring the kids to go along with it, because they couldn’t believe/didn’t want to believe that ordinary-looking human beings could sexually abuse kids. They had to believe that Satan literally made them do it.

I’m saying that people in the media and as activists exaggerated how deep that panic and fucked-uppery WENT to advance their own causes.

Unfortunately, when the media exaggerates a panic, it doesn’t remain an exaggeration for long. It becomes a real panic, just as big and widespread as the media originally claimed it was.

Andrew Norton
Andrew Norton
5 years ago

Hey Dave, ROK just publish a article saying that women who support gay marriage should be avoided and that gay marriage is destroying fatherhood
http://www.returnofkings.com/63801/avoid-women-who-support-gay-marriage
just giving you ideas for your next post 🙂

chaltab
chaltab
5 years ago

I like how all the ‘positive’ aspects of Red Pill masculinity are displayed by exactly zero red-pillers.

Well except demanding that people ‘add value to their lives’ while offering nothing in exchange, which seems to be the common trait of all of them.

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