Here’s what is unquestionably the Red Pill Quote of the Day. Well, to be perfectly honest, of two days ago, but I only saw it just now. It comes courtesy of the FeMRADebates subreddit.
H/T — TheBluePill
“I wonder if there’s a single person writing on ‘toxic masculinity’ who could out deadlift a certified alpha,” Red Piller wonders
I suspect the first problem with that challenge would be: How do you find a ‘Certified Alpha’? Is there a regulatory body somewhere in the manosphere handing out certificates of masculinity, and how much do you have to deadlift to get one?
So, they’re figured out that there are exercises besides pull-ups and push-ups. I suppose that we can call this progress?
Also, from what I remember of GayLubeOil, he is a fantastic example of toxic masculinity.
“We’ve developed a positive concept of masculinity.”
“If you don’t lift (bro), you’re not a certified alpha manly man’s man mangaroo manpants.”
Not only did this twit defeat his own argument, he gave the person he was crying about a two-lap head start and a trophy.
Ah, I remember this from my time I was in university. First, we debated German constitutional law, then we deadlifted a member of parliament. If you could not lift said politician, your argument was invalid.
I always knew that lifting your member was essential to RedPill culture.
Here you go, Redpillers, I found one for you http://www.themarysue.com/terry-crews-on-feminism/
Best of luck!
Could a certified alpha male conceive a hypothesis too odious for even him to raise in public? Do you even raise hypotheses, bro?
I know it’d be playing into the bullshit macho stereotype that physical prowess equals moral superiority to take this fella up on this. But a part of me would relish the challenge (assuming competition rules- a competitor in the same powerlifting weight class as me etc etc). It’s not as though seeing proof of a man opposed to the toxic masculinity these people espouse, who can also lift heavy ass weights, would change anyone’s mind or anything. Might be fun though.
I personally loved the “why not describe the highly disciplined red pill man who’d never damage his health for momentary pleasure?” thing. Um, maybe because that’s not what that particular essay/paper/article/whatever was about? Do you even brain, bro?
I lift.
Anyway…since most licensing systems require those accredited to pay, I think there’s an awesome business opportunity here for someone with enough tolerance to put up with these ‘alpha’ schmucks. Not me, alas. And being a fat, short-haired feeeemale, I guess they wouldn’t want my opinion anyway, even though, I do, y’know, lift.
But it’s kinda fun thinking about the arbitrary tests of manliness and putting these guys through their paces. Obvs. there would be both written and practical exams.
He must be reading a different red pill than the one I’m aware of, because on the red pill I know, it’s a bunch of guys spending all day whining about feminism, liking what other red pillers tell them to like, and spending their every waking moment trying to figure out how to have sex with people they don’t even like, all while claiming they’ve awoken to the truth about how the world REALLY works, and that this is all super logical, and that anyone who disagrees is a sheeple who hasn’t woken up yet.
And we should definitely evaluate theories based on factors like how much researchers can lift. In fact, lets toss out the scientific method altogether and replace it with a system where the scientist who can beat up all the other scientists real good is the one whose theory becomes the accepted consensus.
Much positive masculinity from Gay Lube Oil:
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/02/28/red-pill-theorist-women-are-like-children-except-you-can-have-sex-with-them/
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/09/09/if-women-didnt-have-vaginas-they-would-be-hunted-for-sport-and-other-brilliant-insights-from-red-pill-redditors/
wooo yeah u can lift bro that’s excellent i know one two three four five six seven eight nine ten different ways to put you on the ground with minimum effort on my part
ps is this disciplined red piller who would never risk his health for pleasure the same guy who brags about not using protection please tell me he is
I dunno. The Alpha Male Certification process is pretty tough. Not only do you have to benchpress 100 kilos, compete in a triathlon, do two months basic training in your local military, and swim 4 km without stopping (half of that in butterfly stroke, except “butterfly” isn’t a manly term, so call it “rhinoceros stroke” instead), but you also need three letters of recommendation from personal trainers, and even a well-paid personal trainer will be so jealous of a manly-man’s alphaness that he’ll (not “she’ll,” of course, never a she) botch the whole thing. But it will still be women’s fault because men compete for women, of course, which is the Law of Nature and also women being evil.
I’ve heard that the Ultra-Alpha Male Certification requires you to read all of Finnegans Wake aloud while balancing on an exercise ball, but maybe that’s just a rumor propagated by feminist James Joyce fans?
http://www.powerliftingwatch.com/records/raw/women-world
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/11/28/77-year-old-woman-can-lift-more-weights-than-you/19640963/
I’d love to see these so called “alphas” try to tel those women that lifting is for men.
What keeps these guys from learning what words mean? Is there a special force field? Do they wear amulets of confusion? Is it a curse? I’m bewildered by how often they fight straw men (straw misandry!) because they have no idea what those words mean. Toxic masculinity has nothing to do with being a man or fitness of any kind. What? How? I can’t…
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Marty-McFly-Confused-In-Back-To-The-Future-Gif.gif
I’m not a man but a FEEEEEEEEMALE and if you want my advice I say go for it. If you want to lift, watch action movies, watch sports, read car magazines, etc then go for it. If you want to watch My little pony, listen to opera, cook, garden, etc then go for it too. I think it’s manly when a man does it and womanly when a woman does it and both are equally awesome. It doesn’t make you less of a man/woman it just makes you a person who likes those things.
The red pill are very hypocritical. Complaining about masculinity is being seen as toxic which they are the ones are making it that way in the first place and encouraging it. And that masculinity is supposed to be about doing things your own way without listening to others control you. And here they are doing the exact things that they say are against.
Alaisvex
If women are children does that make straight men pedo- I mean ephebophiles?
And that second one:
Men are already hunting us down
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwmiosJKa1riiw1do1_500.gif
Women professional lifters/body builders can outlift any of these “Alfalfas” any day.
I’m not particularly surprised that a TeRPer would consider academia, journalism and all other non-reddit sources for information useless. I don’t totally buy that he doesn’t click on The Daily Mail links that litter reddit posts, it’s their number one independent source for news and cited by manospherians everywhere.
I did chuckle at the idea that he believes idiotic posts on reddit are an example of a great thinker’s “work”.
So that’s the definition of “alpha male”? Someone who can out lift an academic?
I’m so glad that’s finally been cleared up. After all, they wouldn’t want to confuse us with a lot of nonsense, would they?
My husband once printed out and lamented a licence to kill for me to keep in my wallet. I may need to make him a certificate of Alpha Manly Man-ness.
He’s so cool. When I was still trying to quit smoking he made and framed a small poster that reads, “Machete don’t smoke” to help keep me strong. Looking into Danny Trejo’s disproving glare did help. If you are trying to quit, try keeping a picture of Machete in your living room. It worked for me.
“Great thinker” = Guy who tells me stuff I want to hear.
This aspect of “alphaness” always cracks me up.
A “real man” does what he wants but he needs anonymous strangers on Reddit to tell him how to act, how to dress, what to think, what type of women he should be attracted to, what to say to women, how to smirk, what kind of music is “alpha”, the most alpha way to stand while waiting in line at the supermarket, the most alpha kind of socks, etc.
It’s okay, Lea. We know you can’t even, because no one can. I know I can’t.
Not even they…can.
The ‘Amulets of Confusion’ should definitely be a thing. Can someone make those? Like Wonder woman’s bracelets? When you think a “fact” might be heading in your direction, just throw your arm up and the bracelet will deflect it, thereby keeping you “fact-free.”
Actually, Danny Trejo’s disapproving glare will stop anything right in its tracks. The next time I go on a diet, I’m going to take your suggestion.
My partner can bench 100 kilos and writes articles for support groups on toxic masculinity, does that count? He does a lot of ‘traditional’ manly things like messing around with cars, building houses, etc. He also paints his toenails, it’s almost like people are complex individuals…
I only managed to get to 50, myself. We could use that as the minimum ‘weak academic standard’.
I am so tempted to make myself an accredited alpha license…I have a laminating machine! What else should be on it…sock puppet, maybe?
steampunked,
http://reptilis.net/index4/chlamydosaurus2.jpg
^This but with little weights photoshopped in his widdle hands?
If I’m a woman who can deadlift over 300, can I get certified as an alpha male???? It would be fun to watch their heads explode.