Heartiste — the pompous racist shitbag and alleged pickup artist of great renown — is feeling a bit boastful again.
In a post yesterday, he links to a two-year-old Business Insider post with the clickbaity title 12 Scientifically Proven Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Opposite Sex. He’s interested in Scientifically Proven Way #8: “Men should play hard to get.”
The sciencey “proof” of this old saw comes from a 2010 study of, you guessed it, college undergraduates. As Business Insider’s Megan Willet summarized it, “the study suggested that if men hold back some of their feelings at the very beginning, and create some mystery, he’ll be more likely to hook a member of the opposite sex.”
The Business Insider piece also suggests eating fruits and vegetables, keeping your teeth white, and, if you’re a woman, wearing red lipstick.
Somewhat odder suggestions: women should talk in a higher voice and men should wear a T-shirt. That is, a shirt with a giant letter T on it. Apparently, according to some study from researchers at Nottingham Trent University that I’m not going to bother to read, women find men with giant T’s on their shirts “12% more attractive,” because the T creates the illusion of broader shoulders and a thinner waist.
In other words, as is often the case in such articles, the “scientific” advice is either trite, blindingly obvious or kind of silly.
But Heartiste thinks that this whole “playing hard to get” thing is quite the revelation.
He also seems to think it was … his idea in the first place.
The mainstream media have been reading CH. “Men should play hard to get.” Glad to see the Rude Word of Game is finally penetrating block-like skulls.
Yes, dude, I’m sure this two-year old article referencing a five-year-old study that seems to reaffirm a “Game” principle that probably dates back to prehistoric days is the result of people reading your idiot blog.
I mean, my fucking cats understand “playing hard to get.”
This isn’t the first time Heartiste has tried to claim some bit of conventional wisdom as a Heartiste Original. I called him out a couple of years back for claiming he had “introduced”‘ the idea of sexual market value, which led to this highly edifying Twitter “debate.” (Sorry about the duplicate tweets; that’s just how Twitter handles embedding.)
For the record, since the lack of proper attribution is tiresome, CH was the first to introduce the concept of SMV. http://t.co/EVMUJUjNHq
— heartiste (@heartiste) October 25, 2013
1 of 2 Perpetual narcissist @heartiste thinks he invented the old, trite notion of "sexual market value" in 2007 https://t.co/8gv26x1NW9
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
2 of 2 So why, dear @heartiste, was Laura Kipnis using the phrase "sexual market value" in 2005? http://t.co/WPsHNev592
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
@heartiste Introduce, verb, bring (something, esp. a product, measure, or concept) into use or operation for the first time.(source; Google)
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
I noted that the term “meat market” was a common way to describe singles bars, and pointed out that really, the whole “dating world = marketplace” equation was “a commonplace notion that no sensible person would claim they’d thought up or popularized recently.”
@heartiste No, my argument is that you're an egomaniacal mediocrity who claims credit for shit he didn't do so as to feel important.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
@heartiste Brilliant argument there. You'll be captain of the debate team in no time.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
@heartiste Did you invent calling other people fat, too? Is that a CH original?
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
@heartiste I actually have three HB10s napping in the folds of my belly fat right this moment.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 28, 2013
@bjworthy69 @heartiste I have sent my ilk out to be repaired.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 29, 2013
Ah, well, I amuse myself at least.
And speaking of amusing: I also just discovered this definition of Sexual Market Value on Urban Dictionary; not only is it much more entertaining than Heartiste’s version, but it was also posted a year before Mr. H claims he “introduced” the idea.
After doing the calculations, I find that my SMV is 7.37482 pounds per square inch (of nose).
Ha! Ninja’d by Flora. Serves me right for not refreshing the comments.
Oh gawd, that Twitter conversation slayed me.
And that’s why they hate you, David. If there’s one thing narcissistic assholes can’t stand, it’s being laughed at by people who are demonstrably smarter and funnier than they can dream of being.
Either that, or he read a dumbed-down account of it in some bizmedia rag, and promptly decided to dumb it even further down, and put his own dime-store psychological spin on it so that other suckers — er, pickup artistes — would buy what most of us have the good sense to snort derisively at and put back on the shelf.
Which, come to think of it, is where HE belongs, too.
Talk about entering a battle of wits unarmed. You slay me, David. These dorks really do not know what to do with you. They are so accustomed to their fellow fragile man-babies that they are utterly flummoxed as to how to respond to you. “You’re fat!” really is the hardest punch they can throw and my cat’s little powder puff paws could strike a more palpable blow.
Yay! And about time something like that happened. Maybe now, random bozos will think twice before mike-jacking a working reporter in the field.
I just saw in the teaser for The Nightly Show that George Zimmerman got shot at during a road rage incident. The glass window of his car broke and hurt his face when the bullet passed through.
The guy involved, Apperson, says that Zimmerman was waving a gun in his face first and shot in self defense. Apparently, Apperson called 911 on Zimmerman twice for threatening behavior and had a littler verbal altercation with him.
http://i.giphy.com/iaBiPW3vAOi0E.gif
Zimmerman’s been in a lot of shit with the cops and stuff, especially as of late. He’s a very nasty human being and he’s reaping what he’s sown.
Though, I hope he reaps it before he murders some other poor child.
Another poor child you mean. >:(
Everytime I read Heartiste’s posts, I read them in Ricardio from Adventure Time’s voice.
@Mikki
He was voiced by George Takei.
You should not be imagining George Takei voice as his.
Re George Zimmerman’s latest bullshit–here’s some schadenfreudelicious hilarity:
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2015/05/george-zimmerman-shot-face.html
@Bina, yes I was wondering why the sirens were all in uniform. And why is one of them biting his knee? To show that dacron is nibble proof?
That image is actually pretty disturbing, judging by how miserable the guy looks I’d say those girls need to be pulled up on their boundary issues.
I just read up on that incident with the reporter in Toronto, good for her for going after them and showing how utterly mindless their actions were. Of course now someone’s gotten fired over this the manosphere will be hailing him as a martyr to freeze peach.
Alan Robertshaw:
Also “can I ponce a fag?”, which means “could I trouble you for a cigarette?”
@ Moggie
Of course! You know, I hear that so often it doesn’t even register [usually the ‘bit of baccy’ variant]
How does the term Sexual Market even exist? Having a calculator for it is even more disturbing. I need to go and look at kittens….
Does this mean that if I wear a shirt with a giant picture of a Dorito on it, people will mistake me for Chris Evans?
Here you go, Naomi-and everyone 🙂
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140614000321/clubpenguinpookie/images/d/d0/Extremely-cute-kitten_large.jpg
U r fat. There4 I win.
I’m guessing he’s miserable because synthetic fibres don’t breathe, and he’s sitting in a pool of his own butt-sweat. And because he thinks this whole he-man-in-polyester thing is ridiculous.
Harris Dacron slacks — for when you absolutely, positively have to deny her your vital essence.
(Is that three women or one woman composited in three times?)
@Falconer:
I’m actually going to say that it’s the same woman composited three times. All three ladies look so darned similar that it’s difficult for me to imagine that they’re not the same. I mean, it’s possible that they just used triplets, but my Occam’s Razor sense is pointing towards photo editing.
Also, am I the only one thinking of the whole “precious bodily fluids” rant from Dr. Strangelove?
@monzach — that’s what I was thinking about, except somehow I got “vital essence” instead of “precious bodily fluids”!
@Falconer:
“You can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” My absolute favourite quote from that film. xD
Also, I just love your Cary Grant avatar pic.
I can imagine the reaction of the guy when the photographer told him what was up.
But, I took another look at the photo, and I don’t think it’s ‘shopped. I think it’s three girls who might all just look alike. My Graphic Design Sense isn’t tingling. : /
The girl at the guy’s left shoulder has slightly longer hair than the girl sitting at his feet, and while they’re all wearing the same outfit, I’m pretty sure their eyes are slightly different as well.
‘Course, I could be wrong. It’s happened before.
(Also, side note: I was playing a visual novel last night, and they take careful pains to not mention any product by name to avoid being sued or the like, and one character was taking photos of the protag, and said “I wish I could Illustrashop them!” because the protag has a huge scar that he got from protecting this girl years ago who years later brought him to this all-girls school to attend as a test so she can vouch for co-ed to save the school from bankruptcy, yadda yadda yadda.
I had a little laugh at the portmanteau of “Illustrator” and “Photoshop”, my favorite Adobe programs to work with.
As for the game: The story’s good, but the game itself is very lacking in action for my taste. It’s mostly just “Keep tapping the space bar until you get to one of four choices you can make through the entire game”, and I need my visual novels to have more choice than that.
But, still, it wasn’t too bad.)