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Pickup artist “Heartiste” seems to think the notion of “playing hard to get” was his idea in the first place

The combination of
The combination of “playing hard to get” and Dacron slacks once again proves irresistible to women.

Heartiste — the pompous racist shitbag and alleged pickup artist of great renown —  is feeling a bit boastful again.

In a post yesterday, he links to a two-year-old Business Insider post with the clickbaity title 12 Scientifically Proven Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Opposite Sex. He’s interested in Scientifically Proven Way #8: “Men should play hard to get.”

The sciencey “proof” of this old saw comes from a 2010 study of, you guessed it, college undergraduates. As Business Insider’s Megan Willet summarized it, “the study suggested that if men hold back some of their feelings at the very beginning, and create some mystery, he’ll be more likely to hook a member of the opposite sex.”

The Business Insider piece also suggests eating fruits and vegetables, keeping your teeth white, and, if you’re a woman, wearing red lipstick.

Somewhat odder suggestions: women should talk in a higher voice and men should wear a T-shirt. That is, a shirt with a giant letter T on it. Apparently, according to some study from researchers at Nottingham Trent University that I’m not going to bother to read, women find men with giant T’s on their shirts “12% more attractive,” because the T creates the illusion of broader shoulders and a thinner waist.

In other words, as is often the case in such articles, the “scientific” advice is either trite, blindingly obvious or kind of silly.

But Heartiste thinks that this whole “playing hard to get” thing is quite the revelation.

He also seems to think it was … his idea in the first place.

The mainstream media have been reading CH. “Men should play hard to get.” Glad to see the Rude Word of Game is finally penetrating block-like skulls.

Yes, dude, I’m sure this two-year old article referencing a five-year-old study that seems to reaffirm a “Game” principle that probably dates back to prehistoric days is the result of people reading your idiot blog.

I mean, my fucking cats understand “playing hard to get.”

This isn’t the first time Heartiste has tried to claim some bit of conventional wisdom as a Heartiste Original.  I called him out a couple of years back for claiming he had “introduced”‘ the idea of sexual market value, which led to this highly edifying Twitter “debate.” (Sorry about the duplicate tweets; that’s just how Twitter handles embedding.)

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/393751507310354432

I noted that the term “meat market” was a common way to describe singles bars, and pointed out that really, the whole “dating world = marketplace” equation was “a commonplace notion that no sensible person would claim they’d thought up or popularized recently.”

Ah, well, I amuse myself at least.

And speaking of amusing: I also just discovered this definition of Sexual Market Value on Urban Dictionary; not only is it much more entertaining than Heartiste’s version, but it was also posted a year before Mr. H claims he “introduced” the idea.

TOP DEFINITION     Sexual Market Value Ones Sexual Market Value can only be found by using this simple easy to use equation.   ((Attractiveness) + ((4x)Socal status) + (Style)) - ((Nose Length) + (Weight) + (C) + (-Height))= Sexual Market Value   When (C) equals car type  Truck = 30  Car = 20  Suv = 10  Hybrid = 300  Motorcycle = 0  Vespa = 600  Van = 25  Classic Car = 5  Dune Buggy = -42

After doing the calculations, I find that my SMV is 7.37482 pounds per square inch (of nose).

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Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

Ha! Ninja’d by Flora. Serves me right for not refreshing the comments.

Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

Oh gawd, that Twitter conversation slayed me.

And that’s why they hate you, David. If there’s one thing narcissistic assholes can’t stand, it’s being laughed at by people who are demonstrably smarter and funnier than they can dream of being.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

The concept behind the “sexual market value” goes back at least to 1996. In the May 1996 issue of the Quarterly Journal of Economics, there was a paper that, in the course of analyzing the uptick in out-of-wedlock births, frames sex as an economic transaction between men (who provide money that women want in order to securely raise children) and women (who provide sex that men want). The terms “sexual marketplace” or “sexual market value” are not used, but anyone with any sense can read it and see that what the article talks about is a market model of sex. It does talk about “game,” though … game theory, that is.

I reckon Heartiste needed to make sure that concept had properly aged before he jumped the bandwagon, like fine cheese or whine.

Either that, or he read a dumbed-down account of it in some bizmedia rag, and promptly decided to dumb it even further down, and put his own dime-store psychological spin on it so that other suckers — er, pickup artistes — would buy what most of us have the good sense to snort derisively at and put back on the shelf.

Which, come to think of it, is where HE belongs, too.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Talk about entering a battle of wits unarmed. You slay me, David. These dorks really do not know what to do with you. They are so accustomed to their fellow fragile man-babies that they are utterly flummoxed as to how to respond to you. “You’re fat!” really is the hardest punch they can throw and my cat’s little powder puff paws could strike a more palpable blow.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

As a result of this on air confrontation, one of the sexist troglodytes lost his job.

Yay! And about time something like that happened. Maybe now, random bozos will think twice before mike-jacking a working reporter in the field.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

I just saw in the teaser for The Nightly Show that George Zimmerman got shot at during a road rage incident. The glass window of his car broke and hurt his face when the bullet passed through.

The guy involved, Apperson, says that Zimmerman was waving a gun in his face first and shot in self defense. Apparently, Apperson called 911 on Zimmerman twice for threatening behavior and had a littler verbal altercation with him.

http://i.giphy.com/iaBiPW3vAOi0E.gif

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Zimmerman’s been in a lot of shit with the cops and stuff, especially as of late. He’s a very nasty human being and he’s reaping what he’s sown.

Though, I hope he reaps it before he murders some other poor child.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

Another poor child you mean. >:(

Mikki
Mikki
5 years ago

Everytime I read Heartiste’s posts, I read them in Ricardio from Adventure Time’s voice.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
5 years ago

@Mikki

He was voiced by George Takei.

You should not be imagining George Takei voice as his.

Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

Re George Zimmerman’s latest bullshit–here’s some schadenfreudelicious hilarity:

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2015/05/george-zimmerman-shot-face.html

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

@Bina, yes I was wondering why the sirens were all in uniform. And why is one of them biting his knee? To show that dacron is nibble proof?

That image is actually pretty disturbing, judging by how miserable the guy looks I’d say those girls need to be pulled up on their boundary issues.

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

I just read up on that incident with the reporter in Toronto, good for her for going after them and showing how utterly mindless their actions were. Of course now someone’s gotten fired over this the manosphere will be hailing him as a martyr to freeze peach.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

Alan Robertshaw:

It may well have that meaning elsewhere over your side of the pond. Over here it originally meant ‘pimp’ or any man who essentially mooched off of women. It’s still sometimes used with that connotation e.g if a bloke won’t get a job “You still poncing off your girlfriend?” etc.

Also “can I ponce a fag?”, which means “could I trouble you for a cigarette?”

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ Moggie

Of course! You know, I hear that so often it doesn’t even register [usually the ‘bit of baccy’ variant]

Naomi Harvey
5 years ago

How does the term Sexual Market even exist? Having a calculator for it is even more disturbing. I need to go and look at kittens….

Falconer
5 years ago

men should wear a T-shirt. That is, a shirt with a giant letter T on it. Apparently, according to some study from researchers at Nottingham Trent University that I’m not going to bother to read, women find men with giant T’s on their shirts “12% more attractive,” because the T creates the illusion of broader shoulders and a thinner waist.

Does this mean that if I wear a shirt with a giant picture of a Dorito on it, people will mistake me for Chris Evans?

ktrantingredhead
5 years ago

U r fat. There4 I win.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

@Bina, yes I was wondering why the sirens were all in uniform. And why is one of them biting his knee? To show that dacron is nibble proof?

That image is actually pretty disturbing, judging by how miserable the guy looks I’d say those girls need to be pulled up on their boundary issues.

I’m guessing he’s miserable because synthetic fibres don’t breathe, and he’s sitting in a pool of his own butt-sweat. And because he thinks this whole he-man-in-polyester thing is ridiculous.

Falconer
5 years ago

Harris Dacron slacks — for when you absolutely, positively have to deny her your vital essence.

(Is that three women or one woman composited in three times?)

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

@Falconer:

I’m actually going to say that it’s the same woman composited three times. All three ladies look so darned similar that it’s difficult for me to imagine that they’re not the same. I mean, it’s possible that they just used triplets, but my Occam’s Razor sense is pointing towards photo editing.

Also, am I the only one thinking of the whole “precious bodily fluids” rant from Dr. Strangelove?

Falconer
5 years ago

@monzach — that’s what I was thinking about, except somehow I got “vital essence” instead of “precious bodily fluids”!

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

@Falconer:

“You can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” My absolute favourite quote from that film. xD

Also, I just love your Cary Grant avatar pic.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

I can imagine the reaction of the guy when the photographer told him what was up.

But, I took another look at the photo, and I don’t think it’s ‘shopped. I think it’s three girls who might all just look alike. My Graphic Design Sense isn’t tingling. : /

The girl at the guy’s left shoulder has slightly longer hair than the girl sitting at his feet, and while they’re all wearing the same outfit, I’m pretty sure their eyes are slightly different as well.

‘Course, I could be wrong. It’s happened before.

(Also, side note: I was playing a visual novel last night, and they take careful pains to not mention any product by name to avoid being sued or the like, and one character was taking photos of the protag, and said “I wish I could Illustrashop them!” because the protag has a huge scar that he got from protecting this girl years ago who years later brought him to this all-girls school to attend as a test so she can vouch for co-ed to save the school from bankruptcy, yadda yadda yadda.

I had a little laugh at the portmanteau of “Illustrator” and “Photoshop”, my favorite Adobe programs to work with.

As for the game: The story’s good, but the game itself is very lacking in action for my taste. It’s mostly just “Keep tapping the space bar until you get to one of four choices you can make through the entire game”, and I need my visual novels to have more choice than that.

But, still, it wasn’t too bad.)

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

I think Dacron Guy is miserable because he wants women to be attracted to him for his personality, not his static electricity.

yutolia
yutolia
5 years ago

ps there’s no logic that says a term can’t be independently created.

Actually, yes there is. As a linguist, I can tell you that when we hear what we think is a new term, we study it in various ways (including google, a fantastic new linguistic tool in so many ways) to find out where and when it actually came from, and attribute the term to whoever is found in any records to have used it first.

Heartiste apparently doesn’t know that a term doesn’t become new just because he’s never heard it before.

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

@Yutolia:

A fellow linguist! *high five*

I’m fascinated by the way new words can be coined in such various ways. Like for example the way the word “quiz” got added just through a guy in Dublin, Ireland, betting his friends that he could add a word to the dictionary, and then pasting notices all over town asking people what the word “quiz” meant. Nowadays more rigourous testing is applied, of course. CH probably just thinks that he is such an important person on the Internet that the OED should acknowledge him as the first cause of all modern vocabulary, especially the ones that relate to the “science” of The Game.

Hambeast, Social Justice Hoo-Ha Glitterer
Hambeast, Social Justice Hoo-Ha Glitterer
5 years ago

Nonono, you’re all wrong! Dacron Guy isn’t miserable at all; he’s just so alpha that he’s able to neg all three of the winsome young models at once and it’s SO working!

yutolia
yutolia
5 years ago

@Monzach:

Yay!!! *strikes and misses the high five like she always does :))

Yes, I agree – he is definitely one of these people that thinks something’s only important after he’s somehow involved in it.

Steph
Steph
5 years ago

That guy was really mean but your tweets and responses were simply brilliant.

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

‘Egomaniacal mediocrity’ – I will be stealing this, @David!

Josh Hayes
Josh Hayes
5 years ago

Yutalia, my students taught me the trick: keep your eyes on the elbow, and you’ll make good contact. It seems to be true.

And I do find this blog interesting and useful, but man, it makes me sad sometimes. This “heartiste” guy is just so pitiful.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

I think Dacron Guy is miserable because he wants women to be attracted to him for his personality, not his static electricity.>/blockquote>

Win!!!

The Dude
The Dude
5 years ago

Heartiste is sort of right about this. While the concept of romantic pairings as a “market” dates back at least to the work on the stable marriage problem in the 1950s, the actual term “Sexual Market Value” was developed on the old Usenet group soc.singles in the late 1990s or early 2000s, although it is unclear exactly who first used it. However, one of those who popularized it on soc.singles was a poster known as “Jackie The Tokeman”, who is either none other than Heartiste himself or is someone who has influenced Heartiste so strongly that they are virtually indistinguishable on most (but not all) topics. From soc.singles, the notion of SMV spread to the nascent PUA culture developing in usenet at that time (in groups such as alt.seduction.fast) and from there to the manosphere in general, with JTT/CH undoubtedly helping it along in various ways.

The Dude
The Dude
5 years ago

SMV is also widely misunderstood particularly by those who use it the most, who seem to regard it as some sort of unique numerical value that can be measured for each person like height (it’s not). However, there is a rigorous definition (derived from completely analogous results in labor economics) that maintains a coherent notion of “market value” and avoids that sort of reification fallacy.

cbianco
3 years ago

great to see the name of jackie t tokeman resurface, as a useful search result at least. warms the cockles of my heart. hope he’s still writing in 2017 as well as he did at his best in the 90s, much of which i remember as being either true or beautiful most of the time. it’d be great if there were posted somewhere, a jack-built discography of his work, done under however many successive aliases, with the best stuff excerpted under one roof.com — (a house that only jack could build) . — and “incidentally” “Dude”, you forgot to mention An-day Oscny-may (in pig latin for safety), who if i’m not mistaken, was the Mitochondrial Adam of the SMV-manifesto line. render unto dan the things that are dan’s.

yours in christ,
yours in proust,
yours in klaus kinski,

cb

.

Tupac Chopra
10 months ago

Cbianco,

I liked your poast. I will be bold. His name was Mocsny. Daniel Mocsny. PBUH.

I too would love to see a compendium of Tokeman’s finest. Not the faded simulcra known as “Heartiste”.

Your brother in Christ,

Tupac Chopra