Last month, police say, University of Mary Washington student and feminist/LGBT activist Grace Mann was murdered — bound and asphyxiated by a male housemate and fellow student.
An antifeminist blogger is blaming her death on feminist jokes about misandry.
As Mike Oelke of the Feminism is a Fraud blog sees it, Mann’s death was the inevitable result of the unwillingness of feminists to “learn misandry is not a joke.” In an older post, Oelke had predicted that
one day a feminist wearing an “ironic” KILL ALL MEN t-shirt will walk down the wrong street, enter the wrong room and encounter the wrong man; a man that does not value her as a woman and chooses not to treat her as an equal. The man will not see the t-shirt as ironical humor, but be offended and beat her savagely, laughing as he licks the tears from her crying eyes.
WIth Mann’s death, he says, this “prediction has somewhat been proven true.” And he promises that there will be more violence directed at feminists who
constantly laugh off their misandry as a joke, while treating misogyny like a scourge. Some types of males are going to take that badly with predictable results.
While he says he doesn’t “feel good” about his prediction “somewhat” coming true, he also claims that
this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”
That callous and cruel last line, whatever Oelke meant by it, seems more than a little ironic given the facts of the case.
While we still don’t know the motive of the man who allegedly murdered her, Mann’s death took place on a campus that feminist activists say has become an increasingly hostile environment for them.
The campus group Feminists United — of which Mann was a member — has faced a barrage of harassment and threats online and on campus since last fall when it started to “expose the insidious misogyny and hatred” on campus, as the group’s president Paige McKinsey put it in an op-ed for the school paper in January.
The most egregious example of this “insidious misogyny” was the violent chant — celebrating the rape of dead “whores” — that the school rugby team performed at a party last fall. Surreptitiously recorded by a (male) friend of McKinsey who happened to be at the party, the noxious chant was brought to the administration’s attention by Feminists United last November.
Once the school began disciplinary actions against the team earlier this year, its supporters reacted with outrage — and an even bigger wave of harassment against campus feminists, including hundreds of threatening comments made on the anonymous chat app Yik Yak.
There were rape threats and numerous vicious, sexually explicit personal attacks against McKinsey; Mann was also targeted and threatened with rape. One supporter of the team warned that feminists would “burn” if the team was suspended and that “there will be no survivors.” Another threatened that “Dandy’s about to kill a bitch … or two.” When Feminists United reported these threats to the school administration, they were reportedly told that the school could do little about them.
The rugby team was suspended in March. Mann, a prominent member of the group whose activism led to the team’s suspension, was murdered in April. The suspect, a returning student named Steven Vander Briel, was a former member of the rugby team.
And while there is as yet no clear evidence that there is any connection between the suspension of the team and her murder, it is hard not to wonder if she was killed, not for any ironic jokes about misandry, but for challenging the culture of violent misogyny that seems to infect the Fredericksburg, Virginia, campus.
Mann, who was gay, was not involved with Vander Briel, police say; she was assaulted during what was supposed to be a brief stop at her home after returning from a Day of Silence event to raise awareness about bullying and harassment directed against LGBT folks.
In the wake of Mann’s murder, Feminists United, along with the Feminist Majority Foundation, has filed a Title IX complaint with the Department of Education charging the University of Mary Washington with a “systemic failure to protect” members of the group “from a sexually hostile school environment, from sex-based cyber assaults, and from threats of physical and sexual violence.”
At a media event on campus announcing the complaint last Thursday, Frederickburg.com reports,
Attorney [Debra] Katz said the complaint does not allege that the university caused Mann’s death, but that it “failed to act in the face of vicious abuse and ridicule” Mann suffered.
According to Frederickburg.com, Julia Michels, a University of Mary Washington student and one of the complainants in the Title IX complaint, said at the media event that while
she hopes the threats did not have anything to do with Mann’s death … when she heard the news … her thoughts immediately went to the threats.
“I know she had been mentioned by name on Yik Yak, and I know she was scared, as I am,” Michels said. “I know she was angry, as I am. Most of all, I know she was disappointed in her school for failing to protect her, just as I am disappointed at UMW for failing me.”
We will know in time, one can only presume, what motivated Mann’s murderer. But the damage that can be done by the sort of violent misogyny that she and other members of Feminists United were subjected to on the University of Mary Washington campus — and which her friends still face — is already very clear.
“Misandry” is a joke. Misogyny can kill.
NOTE: This discussion thread is a NO TROLLS, NO MRAs, etc thread. If you’re a troll, an MRA or similar and you comment in this thread you will be banned.
EDIT: I have added a few things to highlight Mann’s LGBT activism.
Well, as we all know, it is not NICE to be frightened of men. After all, they have feelings…they have needs. I wonder how many of us have ignored that little voice inside that tells us to watch out and sends us feelings that we may be in danger. And I wonder how many of us have died, been assaulted or raped as a result. But we are taught to ignore the signals because We. Are. Supposed. To. Be. NICE!!! We are women, we are ladies and everyone else (usually male) matters more. Goddesses above and below, but I hate that four letter word!
Oh, and thanks for the link, Paradoxical Intention!
“Don’t die of politeness”
Thanks for sharing that story, mildlymagnificent. As tragic as that woman’s death was, I can’t help but be inspired by the people who turned Mother’s Day into a chance for remembrance and activism. It reminds me of Julia Ward Howe’s original vision for Mother’s Day. Such brave, good people are out there.
My best friend graduated from Sweet Briar (class of 2014) and is one of the alumni working to keep the school open. So far they have a few court rulings in their favor, and enough money to pursue more actions. The alumni aren’t letting go without a fight.
Bestie is in her mid-thirties, like me, and that school was the place where she really, finally came into her own. Her experience there was a amazing. I’d second Samantha’s recommendation and say that women’s colleges are well worth a look.
Thanks for that link Paradoxical Intention.
One thing struck me for the second time in 24 hours. The age of victims. Statistics tell us that most women’s experience of sexual and physical violence starts when they’re pretty young. Then we look at the details in the Counting Dead Women project, run in Australia by Destroy the Joint. It’s obvious that some women have lived a decade, maybe several decades, with violence before their partner finally kills them.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/destroy-the-joint/counting-dead-women-australia-2015-we-count-every-single-violent-death-of-women-/867514906629588
Non-Australians might not know why the organisation is called Destroy the Joint. It’s because of these several things being said in the space of a couple of weeks.
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/destroying-the-joint-on-the-way-to-the-postpatriarchy-20120903-25a7h.html
.
Yeah, they do this shit constantly. I’ve done a few posts about that in the past but I could probably find enough examples to do a post on that every day. Hell, one of the first posts/videos by Paul Elam to get a lot of attention was called “how to build a male bomb,” and it basically suggested that unless the powers that be recognized that men were the real downtrodden gender there would be giant violent riots etc.
Hmm…This is another way we can say a firm NO! to patriarchy. We can refuse to marry or, if we want to marry, we can write our own vows and/or have civil marriages. Religion, with the insistence on getting women to vow eternal obedience to their Overlords, has been a major player in preserving and expanding the ugliness of patriarchy. Contrary to the lies of MRA’s, priests and others, patriarchy is NOT needed to create/sustain civil society. Quite the contrary, I believe. Without patriarchs in control, we may actually find ourselves able to create civilizations based on genuine respect, compassion and free creativity.
I, for one, would like to give it a shot. If I hear one more guuuuuy spout the lie that only men create culture, art, fill-in-the-blank, I may take the next flight to Mars and give up on humanity entirely.
Reblogged this on abely0913 and commented:
Tell me gain how there is no war on women…
wow… just wow.
This is awful. 🙁
Aw, shucky darn.
And things like this are why, regardless of some pretty deep differences of opinion with a lot of the feminist movement, why I support feminism. They are one of (if not the only) things actively fighting what I’d consider a deep evil. I can’t say I’m so brilliant or pure that I know how to change things, but I’m more than willing to help those who have ideas. Why? Because young women get hurt, in terrible, terrible ways because of things that are preventable.
Sorry if I didn’t express that right, but I’m trying.
They murder you because you won’t date them, they murder you because you break up with them, they murder you because you won’t do what you’re told, they murder you because you talk back, they murder you because you tell them when they’re wrong about something, now they murder you when you laugh at them.
There seems to be a pattern here.
Every time I try and process this, I just get filled with sadness. Its such a depressing thing to see a young life extinguished like this, simply because she dared speak up for her sisters. God help us 🙁
My sympathies to Grace Mann’s family, friends, and colleagues.
My un-sympathies to the blogger who’s trying to justify murder.
I looked at two of the background articles (what happened before the murder). There were people saying that the rugby song wasn’t the worst example of misogyny in itself, compared to the vicious threats and harassment. Well, no, but it makes sense to see it as a warning sign. The numerous threats McKinsey got weren’t just coming out of nowhere. And then when a tragedy happens, related or not, well… it’s because of misandry! Okay. That makes sense.
Where are the MRA whiners complaining about feminists’ “attitude” and “tone” when things like this happen? Is threatening to beat people up and then lick their tears a good “tone” to take? Is it polite to threaten rape (disguised as a reference to a comedy sketch or not)? Is it polite to strangle people who have different worldviews than you do? I DON’T THINK SO, OK?
No words. I’m so sorry for Grace Mann, and for her family and the people who loved her.
Bingo. And seriously, that “lick her tears” thing is just way beyond creepy. If I were the local police where this turd lives, I’d be keeping an eye on him. He seems just the type to go on a murderous spree at some point.
Yeah, where ARE all the tone-policing and tone-trolling MRAs when one of their own spouts off with blatant misogyny? “Human rights movement”, my ASS.
@ paradoxical intention
“And yet, while we’ve got a worse chance of being attacked by sharks (one in 11.5 million, according to the University of Florida’s International Shark Attack File) than to be raped (1 in 5) or assaulted by a man (and your chances are higher if you’ve been previously abused), it’s still considered smart to avoid sharks, but silly, “hostile”, and “misandry” to avoid men because of a (perfectly logical, statistically speaking) fear for your own safety”
This is not the place for quibbling over such things considering what’s happened to this woman, but the ‘1 in 5’ figure via anonymous survey responses included all forms of sexual assault, including unwanted groping and/or kissing.
http://time.com/3633903/campus-rape-1-in-5-sexual-assault-setting-record-straight/
@flagalicious I’m so glad it helped. Sometimes you need anger to get you through the day. *hugs if you want them*
@Shalimar
So this is a LITERAL “men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them” situation?
@Bryce, “unwanted groping and/or kissing” is sexual assault. I know Christina Hoff Sommers (sorry if I spelled that wrong) used that point to say that the 1-in-5 saying is false, but any unwanted touching is legally assault
@Lurker I did refer to unwanted groping as sexual assault. The statistic when limited to rape according to those survey results is 1 in 7 (still shockingly high).
But Paradoxy did say that the 1 in 5 statistic was for both rape and assault, so what was the point of that mansplaination?
They way the parenthesis were placed, it seemed like it was referring specifically to the incidence of rape.
@Tom “This is a mental case with a severe lack of empathy.”
While I agree on the empathy part, we prefer not to use words like “mental case” to describe horrible misogynists here. The implication that they must be mentally ill to believe/say/do what they do excuses their actions as being something beyond their control and stigmatises those who actually live with mental illnesses.
Thank you for your nitpick, Bryce. It’s been duly eye-rolled at. Because you’re right. This isn’t the time or the place for that. You could have asked for an explanation if you were confused or unsure of my intentions instead of launching into mansplain mode. I would have gladly explained myself if what I had written was not clear.
Seriously, let’s not start with semantics.
However, so we don’t have any more confusion: While it does seem like everyone else got the point, I’ll agree that that wasn’t the best place for the parentheses. They most likely should have gone after “assault”. I was more focused on what was going on and my disgust and anger at the situation to place them properly.
Now, drop it. This isn’t the time or the place. For fuck’s sake.
Shut up and fuck off, Bryce. This is not the thread for your mansplaining and WATMing.
Yep. Actually, most if not all of the recent murders committed by anti-feminists have been.