Last month, police say, University of Mary Washington student and feminist/LGBT activist Grace Mann was murdered — bound and asphyxiated by a male housemate and fellow student.
An antifeminist blogger is blaming her death on feminist jokes about misandry.
As Mike Oelke of the Feminism is a Fraud blog sees it, Mann’s death was the inevitable result of the unwillingness of feminists to “learn misandry is not a joke.” In an older post, Oelke had predicted that
one day a feminist wearing an “ironic” KILL ALL MEN t-shirt will walk down the wrong street, enter the wrong room and encounter the wrong man; a man that does not value her as a woman and chooses not to treat her as an equal. The man will not see the t-shirt as ironical humor, but be offended and beat her savagely, laughing as he licks the tears from her crying eyes.
WIth Mann’s death, he says, this “prediction has somewhat been proven true.” And he promises that there will be more violence directed at feminists who
constantly laugh off their misandry as a joke, while treating misogyny like a scourge. Some types of males are going to take that badly with predictable results.
While he says he doesn’t “feel good” about his prediction “somewhat” coming true, he also claims that
this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”
That callous and cruel last line, whatever Oelke meant by it, seems more than a little ironic given the facts of the case.
While we still don’t know the motive of the man who allegedly murdered her, Mann’s death took place on a campus that feminist activists say has become an increasingly hostile environment for them.
The campus group Feminists United — of which Mann was a member — has faced a barrage of harassment and threats online and on campus since last fall when it started to “expose the insidious misogyny and hatred” on campus, as the group’s president Paige McKinsey put it in an op-ed for the school paper in January.
The most egregious example of this “insidious misogyny” was the violent chant — celebrating the rape of dead “whores” — that the school rugby team performed at a party last fall. Surreptitiously recorded by a (male) friend of McKinsey who happened to be at the party, the noxious chant was brought to the administration’s attention by Feminists United last November.
Once the school began disciplinary actions against the team earlier this year, its supporters reacted with outrage — and an even bigger wave of harassment against campus feminists, including hundreds of threatening comments made on the anonymous chat app Yik Yak.
There were rape threats and numerous vicious, sexually explicit personal attacks against McKinsey; Mann was also targeted and threatened with rape. One supporter of the team warned that feminists would “burn” if the team was suspended and that “there will be no survivors.” Another threatened that “Dandy’s about to kill a bitch … or two.” When Feminists United reported these threats to the school administration, they were reportedly told that the school could do little about them.
The rugby team was suspended in March. Mann, a prominent member of the group whose activism led to the team’s suspension, was murdered in April. The suspect, a returning student named Steven Vander Briel, was a former member of the rugby team.
And while there is as yet no clear evidence that there is any connection between the suspension of the team and her murder, it is hard not to wonder if she was killed, not for any ironic jokes about misandry, but for challenging the culture of violent misogyny that seems to infect the Fredericksburg, Virginia, campus.
Mann, who was gay, was not involved with Vander Briel, police say; she was assaulted during what was supposed to be a brief stop at her home after returning from a Day of Silence event to raise awareness about bullying and harassment directed against LGBT folks.
In the wake of Mann’s murder, Feminists United, along with the Feminist Majority Foundation, has filed a Title IX complaint with the Department of Education charging the University of Mary Washington with a “systemic failure to protect” members of the group “from a sexually hostile school environment, from sex-based cyber assaults, and from threats of physical and sexual violence.”
At a media event on campus announcing the complaint last Thursday, Frederickburg.com reports,
Attorney [Debra] Katz said the complaint does not allege that the university caused Mann’s death, but that it “failed to act in the face of vicious abuse and ridicule” Mann suffered.
According to Frederickburg.com, Julia Michels, a University of Mary Washington student and one of the complainants in the Title IX complaint, said at the media event that while
she hopes the threats did not have anything to do with Mann’s death … when she heard the news … her thoughts immediately went to the threats.
“I know she had been mentioned by name on Yik Yak, and I know she was scared, as I am,” Michels said. “I know she was angry, as I am. Most of all, I know she was disappointed in her school for failing to protect her, just as I am disappointed at UMW for failing me.”
We will know in time, one can only presume, what motivated Mann’s murderer. But the damage that can be done by the sort of violent misogyny that she and other members of Feminists United were subjected to on the University of Mary Washington campus — and which her friends still face — is already very clear.
“Misandry” is a joke. Misogyny can kill.
NOTE: This discussion thread is a NO TROLLS, NO MRAs, etc thread. If you’re a troll, an MRA or similar and you comment in this thread you will be banned.
EDIT: I have added a few things to highlight Mann’s LGBT activism.
@fruitloopsie
I’ll be remembering this as a retort for the next asshat who tries to claim the “it’s satire” defense.
Reading further information, the stepfather has been arrested but is denying all charges and demanding a DNA test to prove the child isn’t his. So he’s in custody. Good news.
They’ve also arrested the mother accusing her of being an accomplice in the rape. They’re ignoring the fact that she reported the man’s sexual abuse of her daughter to authorities, who did nothing. Bad news.
And it seems so far that Paraguay will indeed force the girl to give birth, saying that they won’t do anything until they spot ‘complications’ (and even then I bet they’ll drag their heels in actually giving her an abortion). Any medical professional that wasn’t trained by goldfish should know that there doesn’t have to be ‘complications’ for a full term pregnancy to endanger a 10-year-old, and that by the time ‘complications’ are spotted it will probably be too late. Horrible news.
So challenging the culture of violent misogyny that seems to infect the Fredericksburg, VA campus (or any place, anywhere) = misandry. That’s what “misandry” always is, isn’t it.
Tragic.
Samantha
I prayed for her too.
Cyberwulf
I agree with Samantha as much as I want to see them punished for their actions and I completely understand your anger I don’t want us to stoop to their level. We have to think of other ways to stop them.
Sunnysombrera
http://youtu.be/q5mLjKI968g
Mars looks good.
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/cliffsnotes/sciences/can-there-be-life-on-mars
I really do hope and pray that she will be alright.
Feminism did not make me hate men. The reaction to feminism made me hate and fear men. And before some ass boil scampers in here to cry “#NotAllMen!”, I’d like to relay an old saying: A hit dog hollers.
A very happy Mother’s Day to everyone. I’m sorry it had to be marred by such violence and tragedy.
May Grace Mann’s soul rest in peace after her murderer gets whats coming to him, and may her family work safely through their grieving.
@samantha:
“They say it is to protect us. What they DO NOT say is that we are being “protected” from THEM.”
This.
“This will not stop until we refuse to be cowed, to live the “lives” they design for us, to sleep with them. When will we rise up, worldwide, and say NO! NO MORE!!! Never AGAIN the Burning Times!”
And this.
And everything else you, and everyone here, said.
Paradoxical Intention
“Feminism did not make me hate men. The reaction to feminism made me hate and fear men. And before some ass boil scampers in here to cry “#NotAllMen!”, I’d like to relay an old saying: A hit dog hollers.”
This is exactly how I feel. I can’t stand ‘notallmen’ It’s like if I give you a plate of brownies and some were poisonous would you take one? Don’t worry not all of them are poisoned.
As well as sorrow for the loss of a young woman’s life I feel fear for the other young women at that college. It must be horrendous knowing that the environment is so hostile, even if the murderer is locked up.
That’s just simply horrible, and that threat of further violence is so damned ugly… no wonder MRAs and Gamergaters get on like gangbusters…
This whole thing is so senseless. Thank you to everyone else who has said what I was thinking but could not articulate. I am so angry right now. I have children in college, and I will be than livid if I find out that the university is taking such a lackadaisical approach to their students safety.
My deepest sympathies to Ms. Mann’s family and friends. I cannot fathom the grief they must be feeling now.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mammotheers.
Oh, no doubt it is. “Be nice to the menz, ladies, or bad things will happen to YOU, too!” Ugh.
What bears remembering (and this is to encourage all the younger ones here to keep up the good fight) is that this kind of terrorism DOES NOT WORK. I was a university student when the Montréal Massacre happened. Many of the victims were my exact age, too. And I was a volunteer at my university women’s centre. Was I scared? SHITLESS. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, constantly watching my back. Did I let that stop me volunteering? HELL TO THE NO. Did I let it stand between me and getting my degree? FUCK NO! Did I let it change my mind about being a feminist and fighting for freedom from violence, and equality, and so on? FUCKING HELL TO THE NOPE. It just made me want to fight harder. And did it scare me away from men? NOPE NOPE NOPITY NOPE NOPE. Because that was half of whom I was trying to reach. Men have to get the message that THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY, DUDES. We can’t get there without activists working on it continually.
And universities can play a part by disallowing anything that encourages, or fails to discourage, violence against women. And by improving campus security and starting safe-walk escort services if they don’t already have one. Mine had banned all fraternities a couple of years before I enrolled. It also instituted a program where anyone needing someone to escort them safely home or around campus at night could call, and two volunteers (one male, one female) in specially marked safety vests would show up and accompany them wherever they needed to go. It might not have been a deterrent against, say, date rape or housemate violence, but at least it took care of the “stranger in the bushes” fear. There was still the “watch your drink/control your drinking” aspect, which bothered me even then (why should I, a responsible drinker whose parents taught her well, have to police myself while guys who roofied drinks kept getting away with it?), but there was also a quiet pub on campus where anyone who didn’t want to thread crowds, deal with drunken louts, etc., could still have drinks and chat with friends. (I only went there once, on a blind date, but it was nice. Wish I’d had the money to go out more.)
I still think there’s a lot more they could have done. I wish to Goddess they’d had a “Don’t Be That Guy” program when I was there, but I’m glad things like that are happening now. It’s inexcusable that ANY guy should think himself entitled to just help himself to whatever if a woman is in a vulnerable spot.
And wow, did I ever teal deer. Oh well. Better that than flipping tables over, I guess.
Bina
::claps:: we should have women only pubs
I wish I can go to a women’s college but I have to go to a community college.
This feels like a person who has been waiting for this to happen, and relishes is. This is a person who is barely trying to hide his glee in response to a young woman being murdered for her political beliefs. This is a mental case with a severe lack of empathy. Is this the degree to which MRAs are desensitized to the suffering of feminists? Do they have a war mentality? It’s like he’s talking about a terrorist, or an enemy soldier.
Up until now, watching these clowns, it’s been harmless for me. Sure, people get harassed, swatted, doxxed, but all of that was slightly detached for me. They all seemed to bounce back from it, they seemed to cope with it.
This is evil. This is the moment that MRA became an actual threat to humankind. These people don’t realise they’re fucking with real peoples lives…
At risk of sounding melodramatic, it’s personal now. We can’t let this stand. For women like Grace who risk everything to make the world a better place, and in retaliation to these men who hold their precious sporting club and their online hate movement above all else in contempt of her death.
What bears remembering (and this is to encourage all the younger ones here to keep up the good fight) is that this kind of terrorism DOES NOT WORK. I was a university student when the Montréal Massacre happened. Many of the victims were my exact age, too. And I was a volunteer at my university women’s centre. Was I scared? SHITLESS. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, constantly watching my back. Did I let that stop me volunteering? HELL TO THE NO. Did I let it stand between me and getting my degree? FUCK NO! Did I let it change my mind about being a feminist and fighting for freedom from violence, and equality, and so on? FUCKING HELL TO THE NOPE. It just made me want to fight harder. And did it scare me away from men? NOPE NOPE NOPITY NOPE NOPE. Because that was half of whom I was trying to reach. Men have to get the message that THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY, DUDES. We can’t get there without activists working on it continually.
All these kind of attacks do is show how horrible misogyny is and make more feminists.
I heard a similar analogy with M&Ms. If someone hands you a bowl of M&Ms and offers you a handful, but they either tell you or you had prior knowledge that ~10% of them were poisoned, would you reach your hand in and grab some?
No you fucking wouldn’t, because to do so would be considered rather stupid of you. You’d be risking your health by doing that, and it’s easier to just abstain from eating the M&Ms and just have a Snickers bar instead rather than rely on sheer fucking luck.
And yet, while we’ve got a worse chance of being attacked by sharks (one in 11.5 million, according to the University of Florida’s International Shark Attack File) than to be raped (1 in 5) or assaulted by a man (and your chances are higher if you’ve been previously abused), it’s still considered smart to avoid sharks, but silly, “hostile”, and “misandry” to avoid men because of a (perfectly logical, statistically speaking) fear for your own safety.
Here’s a link to the domestic violence statistics I found. If anyone’s interested, that is.
Joins Frootloopsie clapping. You should teal deer more, Bina.
“I would even go so far as to advise women who want to go to college to find a women’s college. ”
Ironically, one of the few remaining women’s colleges – Sweet Briar, doubly ironically also in Virginia — is closing its doors this spring. Hopefully the people trying to save it will succeed, but women’s colleges are having a very hard time surviving.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/ed/2015/05/08/405194244/a-bitter-goodbye-sweet-briar-college-closes-its-doors
It’s too bad you couldn’t get the women at Mary Washington to transfer en masse to Sweet Briar — it would save Sweet Briar and send a message to college administrators everywhere. If women decide it’s not safe to go to your college …
Paradoxical Intention
Thanks for the link
GOSJM
That’s awful
frootloopsie and Paradoxical Intention
Thank you for clearly expressing the problem with the “#NotAllMen!” cry which seems to be used far too often.
Bina, you should teal dear more often.
Yup, that is what it is alright. Those in power do not like it when those whose necks they step on to get into power in the first place decide to stand up. Just like militaries do not like it when the folk they attack fight back. Those people are then called terrorists. Oh, just like environmentalist!
Blast WordPress. What must I do to assuage your desire to regularly post comments under the wrong name?
Sorry Orion.
University of Louisville has an escort service after dark, that sends campus police to you, to literally drive you wherever you need to go.
It’s pretty cool. Like you said, it doesn’t help with acquaintance rape, but it’s at least a step in the right direction. No discrimination: they will drive both women and men.