Last month, police say, University of Mary Washington student and feminist/LGBT activist Grace Mann was murdered — bound and asphyxiated by a male housemate and fellow student.
An antifeminist blogger is blaming her death on feminist jokes about misandry.
As Mike Oelke of the Feminism is a Fraud blog sees it, Mann’s death was the inevitable result of the unwillingness of feminists to “learn misandry is not a joke.” In an older post, Oelke had predicted that
one day a feminist wearing an “ironic” KILL ALL MEN t-shirt will walk down the wrong street, enter the wrong room and encounter the wrong man; a man that does not value her as a woman and chooses not to treat her as an equal. The man will not see the t-shirt as ironical humor, but be offended and beat her savagely, laughing as he licks the tears from her crying eyes.
WIth Mann’s death, he says, this “prediction has somewhat been proven true.” And he promises that there will be more violence directed at feminists who
constantly laugh off their misandry as a joke, while treating misogyny like a scourge. Some types of males are going to take that badly with predictable results.
While he says he doesn’t “feel good” about his prediction “somewhat” coming true, he also claims that
this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”
That callous and cruel last line, whatever Oelke meant by it, seems more than a little ironic given the facts of the case.
While we still don’t know the motive of the man who allegedly murdered her, Mann’s death took place on a campus that feminist activists say has become an increasingly hostile environment for them.
The campus group Feminists United — of which Mann was a member — has faced a barrage of harassment and threats online and on campus since last fall when it started to “expose the insidious misogyny and hatred” on campus, as the group’s president Paige McKinsey put it in an op-ed for the school paper in January.
The most egregious example of this “insidious misogyny” was the violent chant — celebrating the rape of dead “whores” — that the school rugby team performed at a party last fall. Surreptitiously recorded by a (male) friend of McKinsey who happened to be at the party, the noxious chant was brought to the administration’s attention by Feminists United last November.
Once the school began disciplinary actions against the team earlier this year, its supporters reacted with outrage — and an even bigger wave of harassment against campus feminists, including hundreds of threatening comments made on the anonymous chat app Yik Yak.
There were rape threats and numerous vicious, sexually explicit personal attacks against McKinsey; Mann was also targeted and threatened with rape. One supporter of the team warned that feminists would “burn” if the team was suspended and that “there will be no survivors.” Another threatened that “Dandy’s about to kill a bitch … or two.” When Feminists United reported these threats to the school administration, they were reportedly told that the school could do little about them.
The rugby team was suspended in March. Mann, a prominent member of the group whose activism led to the team’s suspension, was murdered in April. The suspect, a returning student named Steven Vander Briel, was a former member of the rugby team.
And while there is as yet no clear evidence that there is any connection between the suspension of the team and her murder, it is hard not to wonder if she was killed, not for any ironic jokes about misandry, but for challenging the culture of violent misogyny that seems to infect the Fredericksburg, Virginia, campus.
Mann, who was gay, was not involved with Vander Briel, police say; she was assaulted during what was supposed to be a brief stop at her home after returning from a Day of Silence event to raise awareness about bullying and harassment directed against LGBT folks.
In the wake of Mann’s murder, Feminists United, along with the Feminist Majority Foundation, has filed a Title IX complaint with the Department of Education charging the University of Mary Washington with a “systemic failure to protect” members of the group “from a sexually hostile school environment, from sex-based cyber assaults, and from threats of physical and sexual violence.”
At a media event on campus announcing the complaint last Thursday, Frederickburg.com reports,
Attorney [Debra] Katz said the complaint does not allege that the university caused Mann’s death, but that it “failed to act in the face of vicious abuse and ridicule” Mann suffered.
According to Frederickburg.com, Julia Michels, a University of Mary Washington student and one of the complainants in the Title IX complaint, said at the media event that while
she hopes the threats did not have anything to do with Mann’s death … when she heard the news … her thoughts immediately went to the threats.
“I know she had been mentioned by name on Yik Yak, and I know she was scared, as I am,” Michels said. “I know she was angry, as I am. Most of all, I know she was disappointed in her school for failing to protect her, just as I am disappointed at UMW for failing me.”
We will know in time, one can only presume, what motivated Mann’s murderer. But the damage that can be done by the sort of violent misogyny that she and other members of Feminists United were subjected to on the University of Mary Washington campus — and which her friends still face — is already very clear.
“Misandry” is a joke. Misogyny can kill.
NOTE: This discussion thread is a NO TROLLS, NO MRAs, etc thread. If you’re a troll, an MRA or similar and you comment in this thread you will be banned.
EDIT: I have added a few things to highlight Mann’s LGBT activism.
When I had that problem, it turned out to be dry eye. It came on really suddenly, and I thought it was some kind of acute problem, but it was a chronic one that had no symptoms until it reached a tipping point over the course of about 5 minutes. If it lasts more than a day, see an eye doctor.
@PussyPower, forgive me for requoting you in toto, but I just have to highlight what you said:
“You think you’re silencing feminists with terror? Well, bring it on, assholes. All my life I’ve lived with the fear of being killed or raped for being a woman, it’ll be REFRESHING to fear harm for something I actually did and not just for my gender. It at least gives me a sense of control over my destiny.”
This will be my insight and source of courage for the day. Yes, it is refreshing when the dragon comes out into the open, to fight it directly instead of fearing that it will spring from around any night-corner.
Am I the only one who thinks that my life would be better if I have never discovered the cesspool that manosphere is? Or at least some parts of it. Ignorance is bliss, indeed sometimes.
Misgyny kills. This is a fact. 🙁
This… this is the crucial difference, right here. This is where the scales tip. Normally, the manosphere’s fun-house mirror perspective on reality is fun to mock. The hypocrisy, the entitlement, the bitterness, the breathtaking logical fallacies, and most of all the frothing rage is most often construed by me as a helpless, man-boy neckbeard rage, ripe for mockery, scorn, derision and (sometimes, almost) pity. But then something like this happens, and I’m reminded that even the most craven of cowards can be driven to all-to-real acts of violence thanks to this echo-chamber effect of rage on social media and other forums. This is where my thoughts on the manosphere move from scorn and mockery to shock, anger, and a deep sadness. I’m saddened by the senseless loss of this poor girl, and I’m saddened by the helpless and hurt men who feel that something as hateful and hypocritical as the manosphere can be the only source of answers for whatever is eating away at their souls.
It’s a lot easier to make fun of MRAs when they’re charging obscene amounts of cash for conferences and making hilariously awful “documentaries” about “ethics in video game journalism” or whatever the fuck. When very real and very awful violence is committed by these shitbirds, suddenly it’s a lot harder to laugh at them.
So a woman wearing a t shirt that a particular man thinks is misandric said particular man can murder her if he wants to.
Now there’s a dead, murdered, young woman and some asshole thinks he predicted it. Violence is acceptable for men against women if women upset men. All these jackasses can say is they warned people, like this is an okay thing to do. Is anybody else starting to feel crazy, too?
Yeah, this is where I get the urge to yell obscenities and break things, rather than merely laugh and point.
What really sickens me is how these guys, before anything is known about the killer’s actual motives, just assume that she “did something to deserve it, because FEMINIST”, and promptly make up the most stinkingly ridiculous projections imaginable. And if it turns out that this murder had nothing to do with her being a feminist, then what? Well, they’ll probably STILL insist that she “deserved” it, because she was gay and a bitch who rejected a poor lonely incel who just wanted to have a threesome with her and her girlfriend (is that too much to ask?). Or whatever other stupidities they can concoct…because reasons.
This blogger needs to be launched into the sun. Who honestly thinks someone had murder coming or they ‘took one for the team’ and his write up about beating a feminist complete with the creepy sexual overtones… Yeah… ugh. No. I’ll be buried in blankets trying to shake that one off the rest of the day.
Jezus, this is horrific.
Thoughts and prayers to her family and friends.
All I can hope for is just punishment for the murderer and some action on the part of the university to make their campus a safer place for women. And not just some weasel-y words like “oh we don’t support this sort of thing”, no there should be actually real life steps taken. Its 2015 and its fucking ridiculous that shit like this is still happening and there are segments of the population who think it is acceptable!
Bina
Exactly these Devils want any excuse to kill us and simply make our lives miserable because they’re so scared of losing their power and will suffer consequences for their actions.
I wish I knew what I could do I’m tired of sitting here and watching my sisters dying and suffering I wish there’s more that I could do than sign petitions.
Speaking of petitions will everyone please sign this?
https://www.amnesty.org.uk/actions/child-denied-abortion-after-rape-save-her-life?utm_source=FBPAGE&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=20150430175800&utm_campaign=Maternal_reproductive
I actually don’t think it’s necessary to consider the killer’s motives in order to say that Mike Oelke is a terrorist. Regardless of what motivated the murder, Oelke’s motive is quite clear: he wants to use this murder to inspire terror in women.
The murder itself was probably terrorism, but Oelke’s blog post is terrorism without question.
It’s a good thing I don’t have to talk to her family. There are no words. What a terrible loss.
————————————————————————————————————–
For me? I was looking for a place for yet another sad story of a victim of male violence that has an encouraging little note within it. Here’s as good a place as any, I suppose.
A group in an Australian country town wanted to have a procession to mark the death of a local indigenous woman.
Even more encouraging, many more people showed up for this small ceremony in this small town than the organisers expected. http://www.theguardian.com/news/bush-mail/2015/may/10/on-mothers-day-the-scourge-of-violence-against-women-hits-home
So the police are deciding that enough is enough and that they’ll do what they can to support getting the message out to the community.
Who knows. Perhaps more police groups, more universities, more local authorities will start to do more to support women who tell them there’s a problem. It’s been a long, long time coming, but maybe we’ll get a real start some time soon. As the writer puts it at the end of the article …
Happy Mother’s Day.
This Oelke creature makes me sick. Also, it’s pretty easy to predict a feminist will get killed sooner or later when men are already killing women regardless of whether they identify as feminists or not. To then wait for a murder to happen and say it proves your point about misandry is just disgusting and wrong.
It’s like predicting that if african americans aren’t nicer to cops they’re going to get killed. Just cause you can predict something will happen doesn’t mean you’re right about why it will happen. This is preemptive victim blaming.
@fruitloopsie
Signed the petition.
First, my deepest sympathies for the family and friends of Grace Mann.
Second, this is what life has been for women for thousands of years. For whatever reasons, patriarchs seem to think that the world – and all beings who live on it – belongs to them. They look at women and see things that they can, and should, use for their own pleasure. When women protest, the patriarchs say that it is “nature” that makes REAL women submissive to men. It never occurs to them that if women, unlike men, are ruled totally by hard-wired biology, it WOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE! We would not question our “natures.” The fact that we do makes us unnatural, criminal, even, and certainly misandrist. Rape and murder are the tools they use to terrify us and send us home. This is why there are, in many cultures, proscriptions about women’s dress, with whom we can speak, where we can go and with whom, who we may love and with whom we may sleep. They are even destroying the living planet! Mother Earth is just one more rape-able toilet for them!
I tried to teach my own daughter about the realities of life under patriarchal rule. They say it is to protect us. What they DO NOT say is that we are being “protected” from THEM. This will not stop until we refuse to be cowed, to live the “lives” they design for us, to sleep with them. When will we rise up, worldwide, and say NO! NO MORE!!! Never AGAIN the Burning Times!
Yes, I am furious. This unfortunate woman is just one more victim of a system that hates, wants, and destroys women for the pleasure of the ruling PATRIARCHAL class. It is time we named it for what it is. I need to go work in my garden now, so that I can re-connect with something of beauty.
Samantha
::claps::
http://www.torrington.info/uploads/1/9/0/5/19057235/3250703.jpg
http://www.freeallpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Happy-Mothers-Day-Animals-3.jpg
http://cdn.cutestpaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/A-momma-cat-sleeping-with-her-two-kitties1.jpg
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/03/15/article-2115569-1229A6DC000005DC-274_634x409.jpg
http://www.cutestpaw.com/articles/happy-mothers-day-honoring-35-animals-being-good-moms/
http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/squee/tag/mothers-day
@fruitloopsie
I saw that petition published on one of the anti-feminism facebook pages. The admin encouraged page fans to sign the petition, but of course, there were idiotic pro-life motherfuckers in the comments saying how the child of that little girl also has the right to live. Some people really know no limits with their pro-life propaganda.
Awww…Fruitloopsie, thanks! You just made my day. I was on my way out to my garden when I stopped to check email again and found this.
(smiling with a happy tear on my cheek)
@Samantha – I had to do that with my youngest too. My husband was in the room at the time and told me I was making her terrified of men for “no reason” I sent her upstairs and spent fifteen minutes explain all the ‘no reasons’ to him after which he agreed these talks were really REALLY important.
Hypatia
I don’t know what to say I’m too upset over that rapist of a step father and sad over the mother and child to even think about anything else. I just…can’t even.
Samantha
🙂
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!
@Cyberwulf – Guess I will get to the garden a little later 🙂 What do we do? We do not stoop to their level. We learn how to defend ourselves and we refuse to obey, to listen to their lies, to live our lives according to their dictates.
It has been said that the best revenge is living well. Ok. We do that. We create/join women’s groups wherever we are, we learn to take care of ourselves. We make it so that we do not need them…at all. For those of us who want kids but not the husband, go to sperm banks. We need to bond together, watch out for each other and create and rear our families without them. By them, I mean patriarchs. Women have to learn how to choose men who are truly our friends, our companions and fellow travelers. Not all men are patriarchs, and too many women are. We need to learn the difference.
I would even go so far as to advise women who want to go to college to find a women’s college. Studies have shown – and I wish I could remember where I have read this – that women and girls learn best and get higher grades when they learn with other women/girls.
Oh, and I send out a Happy Mother’s Day to every mom here!
“Misandry” isn’t even a thing, just a feeble excuse to hate.
And the next time I see a woman in a “Kill All Men” t-shirt it will be the first.
Eat a bag of shit Oelke!
@Fruitloopsie – Thanks for the link to the Amnesty International petition. I happily signed and pray that she is able to have the abortion she needs.
@Johanna Roberts – Yup. I got the same response from my husband, until I told him about the rapes and beatings that I had gotten. He is such a sweet guy, but that kind of behavior was just not on his radar. After that, he, too, stepped back and agreed. Sad that this has to be done, is it not?