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Feminist activist Grace Mann murdered; blogger blames her death on feminist jokes about misandry

Murdered feminist activist Grace Mann
Murdered feminist activist Grace Mann

Last month, police say, University of Mary Washington student and feminist/LGBT activist Grace Mann was murdered — bound and asphyxiated by a male housemate and fellow student.

An antifeminist blogger is blaming her death on feminist jokes about misandry. 

As Mike Oelke of the Feminism is a Fraud blog sees it, Mann’s death was the inevitable result of the unwillingness of feminists to “learn misandry is not a joke.” In an older post, Oelke had predicted that

one day a feminist wearing an “ironic” KILL ALL MEN t-shirt will walk down the wrong street, enter the wrong room and encounter the wrong man; a man that does not value her as a woman and chooses not to treat her as an equal. The man will not see the t-shirt as ironical humor, but be offended and beat her savagely, laughing as he licks the tears from her crying eyes.

WIth Mann’s death, he says, this “prediction has somewhat been proven true.”  And he promises that there will be more violence directed at feminists who

constantly laugh off their misandry as a joke, while treating misogyny like a scourge. Some types of males are going to take that badly with predictable results.

While he says he doesn’t “feel good” about his prediction “somewhat” coming true, he also claims that

this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”

That callous and cruel last line, whatever Oelke meant by it, seems more than a little ironic given the facts of the case.

While we still don’t know the motive of the man who allegedly murdered her, Mann’s death took place on a campus that feminist activists say has become an increasingly hostile environment for them.

The campus group Feminists United — of which Mann was a member  — has faced a barrage of  harassment and threats online and on campus since last fall when it started to “expose the insidious misogyny and hatred” on campus, as the group’s president Paige McKinsey put it in an op-ed for the school paper in January.

The most egregious example of this “insidious misogyny” was the violent chant — celebrating the rape of dead “whores” — that the school rugby team performed at a party last fall. Surreptitiously recorded by a (male) friend of McKinsey who happened to be at the party, the noxious chant was brought to the administration’s attention by Feminists United last November.

Once the school began disciplinary actions against the team earlier this year, its supporters reacted with outrage — and an even bigger wave of harassment against campus feminists, including hundreds of threatening comments made on the anonymous chat app Yik Yak.

There were rape threats and numerous vicious, sexually explicit personal attacks against McKinsey; Mann was also targeted and threatened with rape. One supporter of the team warned that feminists would “burn” if the team was suspended and that “there will be no survivors.” Another threatened that “Dandy’s about to kill a bitch … or two.” When Feminists United reported these threats to the school administration, they were reportedly told that the school could do little about them.

The rugby team was suspended in March. Mann, a prominent member of the group whose activism led to the team’s suspension, was murdered in April. The suspect, a returning student named Steven Vander Briel, was a former member of the rugby team.

And while there is as yet no clear evidence that there is any connection between the suspension of the team and her murder, it is hard not to wonder if she was killed, not for any ironic jokes about misandry, but for challenging the culture of violent misogyny that seems to infect the Fredericksburg, Virginia, campus.

Mann, who was gay, was not involved with Vander Briel, police say; she was assaulted during what was supposed to be a brief stop at her home after returning from a Day of Silence event to raise awareness about bullying and harassment directed against LGBT folks.

In the wake of Mann’s murder, Feminists United, along with the Feminist Majority Foundation, has filed a Title IX complaint with the Department of Education charging the University of Mary Washington with a “systemic failure to protect” members of the group “from a sexually hostile school environment, from sex-based cyber assaults, and from threats of physical and sexual violence.”

At a media event on campus announcing the complaint last Thursday, Frederickburg.com reports,

Attorney [Debra] Katz said the complaint does not allege that the university caused Mann’s death, but that it “failed to act in the face of vicious abuse and ridicule” Mann suffered.

According to Frederickburg.com, Julia Michels, a University of Mary Washington student and one of the complainants in the Title IX complaint, said at the media event that while

she hopes the threats did not have anything to do with Mann’s death … when she heard the news … her thoughts immediately went to the threats.

“I know she had been mentioned by name on Yik Yak, and I know she was scared, as I am,” Michels said. “I know she was angry, as I am. Most of all, I know she was disappointed in her school for failing to protect her, just as I am disappointed at UMW for failing me.”

We will know in time, one can only presume, what motivated Mann’s murderer. But the damage that can be done by the sort of violent misogyny that she and other members of Feminists United were subjected to on the University of Mary Washington campus — and which her friends still face — is already very clear.

“Misandry” is a joke. Misogyny can kill.

NOTE: This discussion thread is a NO TROLLS, NO MRAs, etc thread. If you’re a troll, an MRA or similar and you comment in this thread you will be banned. 

EDIT: I have added a few things to highlight Mann’s LGBT activism.

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AltoFronto
AltoFronto
5 years ago

This is all too horrifying for words.

I really hope the university will finally step in to prevent any further acts of hostility and violence. But I’m disgusted to think that it will have taken a death to make people take misogynistic harassment seriously.

I am so, so sorry for Grace’s friends and family.

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

🙁 That poor woman.

Remind me again how many men’s rights activists have been murdered by feminists? I’m not including cases where men died and MRAs decided women were to blame.

Caylee
5 years ago

Reblogged this on micaylahca and commented:
A shame this.

Caylee
5 years ago

Just….stunning

boogerghost
boogerghost
5 years ago

So many layers of awful at work here… and for anyone to say this is just the natural result of pushing men too far… it’s really too much to stomach.

Assuming her murder was indeed motivated politically or by misogyny, and it seems pretty likely that it was at least in part:

It’s possible to be the victim of a victim. In fact, most victims are. The culture that drives specific men to express masculinity in this way is not their fault. But murder is still first and foremost the fault of the murderer. When a member of a group that’s ACTUALLY underprivileged commits a horrible act, prominent activists from that group do not say “well, it’s unfortunate, but that’s what you get until you respect us.” They may offer an explanation, but they don’t justify it or use it as an excuse to grandstand. They just denounce it. They hold themselves to a higher standard than the privileged, partly because they have to in order to be taken seriously, and partly because the work they do makes them perpetually conscious of justice and morality, which it is the privileged’s privilege to ignore.

When less prominent members of those groups do what this blogger is doing, it may be tacky and unproductive, but at least it’s understandable. The critical difference is that desperation in the face of a system that is stacked against you, while not a justification for the murder of the innocent, is a cripplingly real problem. What these (few, specific) men are dealing with is the trauma of a changing reality resulting in explosive cognitive dissonance. Unfortunate, yes, painful, yes, but infinitely more solvable. It’s not that I DON’T pity men who have yet to come to terms with their own societal power, learn to reflect more and externalize less, and confront the biases of themselves and their peers… but I pity the people they unknowingly shove down quite a bit more.

sevenofmine
5 years ago

The thought process is just so repellent. Feminists (don’t actually) wear t-shirts saying “kill all men”. Men actually kill women for being women. MISANDRY. *puke*

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Anti feminists: ::makes misognistic comments including kill and rape all women and sending death and rape threats :: “It’s satire! Lighten up!”

“Feminists wear “kill all men” and “I bathe in male tears” tshirts while drinking from “male tears” mugs::

Antifeminists: “This is why feminism is considered to be misandry they seriously have gone too far!”

Antifeminists are such hypocritical terrorists. This is horrible, my hugs and respect for that poor woman’s family.

Sarah
Sarah
5 years ago

“Licks the tears from her crying eyes”? Gawd, the specificity of these anti-feminist creeps’ fantasies are so effing disturbing! You know they’re probably typing with one hand. *puke*

carmillavoiez
5 years ago

Reblogged this on Carmilla Voiez.

Sarity
Sarity
5 years ago

This is awful news. I am sorry for her family and sickened knowing her murderer will be celebrated by misogynists regardless of whether he had an anti-feminist motive. If so, I too am disgusted that a human being will have had to LOSE HER FUCKING LIFE for these universities to start taking blatant threats and abuse of their students seriously. Tragedies like this can and should be fucking avoided.

Hypatia
Hypatia
5 years ago

This is not the first time I’ve seen MRAs threaten with revenge and death for all the injustice that has been inflicted on men. It’s fucking sociopathic. It seems that some of them don’t see another way of defeating feminists instead of killing them and yet they claim they are the one with logic and reason. Lol.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

That whole licking the tears from a feminist’s eyes as he beats her to death is disturbingly specific. The writer is pretending to be concerned that the poor menz will be pushed to far and snap, but really this sounds like a specific long time fantasy and he was waiting for an excuse to share it.

Truly disgusting.

I’m seriously worried that this guy is a ticking time bomb and will be committing a violent act in the near future.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BRAIN BLEACH IN THE WORLD FOR THIS.

FUCK ANTI-FEMINISTS. FUCK MISOGYNISTS. FUCK THEM TO HELL AND BACK, AND THEN TO HELL AGAIN WHERE THEY CAN STAY FOREVER.

I KNOW SOME OF YOU MRAS ARE READING THIS AND YES, THE ABOVE INCLUDES YOU.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

No doubt one of them will screen cap my above comment, rip it out of context and then use it as “proof” that feminists hate men. Whatever.

Spaceman
Spaceman
5 years ago

Horrible circumstances. I have no words for her family except that I am really sorry for their loss.

Events like this show that every single instance on online threats (rape, violent, bomb, SWAT,etc.) needs to be taken 100% seriously. There is no “Oh its just a joke”,”lt its the internet”, “just ignore them” or something like that. Law enforcement really needs to start taking this stuff more seriously and putting the resources together to track down the people sending the threats.

Especially when they are so specific it could only be a few people who could do it.

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
5 years ago

If “misandry” leads to the death of feminists, then what should we as women now do since men have proven that they’ll kill us over bullshit?

Mann was murdered by a member of the rugby team after a series of death threats because the rugby team got suspended. They made good on their threats. Going by Mike Oelke’s logic, it’s time for feminists to kill the rugby team. Kill them all. Lick the tears off their faces while they do it.

PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
PussyPowerTantrum, the Lousy Flouncer
5 years ago

You think you’re silencing feminists with terror? Well, bring it on, assholes. All my life I’ve lived with the fear of being killed or raped for being a woman, it’ll be REFRESHING to fear harm for something I actually did and not just for my gender. It at least gives me a sense of control over my destiny.

magnesium
magnesium
5 years ago

Only an MRA would see a man murdering a woman as proof of misandry. And then go on to celebrate men murdering women like Mike Oelke does here. Way to be scum, Mike Oelke.

Dan kasteray
Dan kasteray
5 years ago

A world approved by MRA’s and the sexist shitbags of the muddy world of the internet. Yeah, that’s the world I want to live in.

Fucking worthless pieces of garbage every one.

If anything this just proves we need to double down on feminism. Drown the misogynist beast, this fight has just begun

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”

Oelke is a literal terrorist. MRM attracts Nazis and terrorists. One might think that this would make MRAs rethink their life choices, and wonder if maybe there’s some kind of flaw in their philosophy that makes it so appealing to literal terrorists. I guess that’s expecting too much?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

this young woman’s death serves a purpose. She “Took one for the team.”

Sorry in advance for the all-caps yelling, but this just has to be said:

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER, SHE FUCKING DID NOT. AND NO, IT DOES NOT SERVE A FUCKING PURPOSE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCKROACH. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

Misandry wouldn’t be taken as such a joke if MRAs didn’t keep trying to label anything they don’t like as misandry. I’m not saying that actual factual misandry doesn’t exist, there are definitely man-haters out there, but it is nowhere close to a systematic problem, or even a widespread problem. There are plenty of times I’ve had a debate with an MRA and been accused of misandering. My crimes include:
1) referring to “male genital mutilation” (his words) as circumcision. (If anyone remembers it was that dude who accused me of having an “evil black corrupted cunty heart”. Who can forget such poetry?).
2) refusing to agree that men have been oppressed throughout history
3) posting counterarguments (“trolling”) a comment section under one of AVFMs memes
4) refusing to agree that false rape accusations are an epidemic.

blanktie
blanktie
5 years ago

Mras should actually be worried about tragedies like this if they ever want to be taken seriously. It’s not like feminists or the mainstream culture in general are going to turn around and say, “oh! You must have been right! She deserved it all along. We don’t want to make you mad; here, have a cookie.” Yeah, like that worked for angry incels after Elliott Rodger right?

As for that pos that killed that poor girl; I hope they throw the book at him and he has the worst possible life from here on out.

reymohammed
reymohammed
5 years ago

I’m afraid this is being incited.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

@Bina
Yell away all you like, I did. I’m a pretty chillaxed lady, and most WHTM posts just cause me to facepalm, but sometimes some of the things David brings to light make my blood boil instead. This is one of them.

Also, there is a consistent burning in my left eye and I’m not sure what it is. I suspect some shampoo got in there while I was in the shower, since that’s when it started. Not sure what to do after running my eye under the tap for a bit. Halp?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Also, there is a consistent burning in my left eye and I’m not sure what it is. I suspect some shampoo got in there while I was in the shower, since that’s when it started. Not sure what to do after running my eye under the tap for a bit. Halp?

When I had that problem, it turned out to be dry eye. It came on really suddenly, and I thought it was some kind of acute problem, but it was a chronic one that had no symptoms until it reached a tipping point over the course of about 5 minutes. If it lasts more than a day, see an eye doctor.

flagalicious
flagalicious
5 years ago

@PussyPower, forgive me for requoting you in toto, but I just have to highlight what you said:

“You think you’re silencing feminists with terror? Well, bring it on, assholes. All my life I’ve lived with the fear of being killed or raped for being a woman, it’ll be REFRESHING to fear harm for something I actually did and not just for my gender. It at least gives me a sense of control over my destiny.”

This will be my insight and source of courage for the day. Yes, it is refreshing when the dragon comes out into the open, to fight it directly instead of fearing that it will spring from around any night-corner.

Hypatia
Hypatia
5 years ago

Am I the only one who thinks that my life would be better if I have never discovered the cesspool that manosphere is? Or at least some parts of it. Ignorance is bliss, indeed sometimes.

Anne
Anne
5 years ago

Misgyny kills. This is a fact. 🙁

Sandy Lee
5 years ago

This… this is the crucial difference, right here. This is where the scales tip. Normally, the manosphere’s fun-house mirror perspective on reality is fun to mock. The hypocrisy, the entitlement, the bitterness, the breathtaking logical fallacies, and most of all the frothing rage is most often construed by me as a helpless, man-boy neckbeard rage, ripe for mockery, scorn, derision and (sometimes, almost) pity. But then something like this happens, and I’m reminded that even the most craven of cowards can be driven to all-to-real acts of violence thanks to this echo-chamber effect of rage on social media and other forums. This is where my thoughts on the manosphere move from scorn and mockery to shock, anger, and a deep sadness. I’m saddened by the senseless loss of this poor girl, and I’m saddened by the helpless and hurt men who feel that something as hateful and hypocritical as the manosphere can be the only source of answers for whatever is eating away at their souls.

It’s a lot easier to make fun of MRAs when they’re charging obscene amounts of cash for conferences and making hilariously awful “documentaries” about “ethics in video game journalism” or whatever the fuck. When very real and very awful violence is committed by these shitbirds, suddenly it’s a lot harder to laugh at them.

Tina S
Tina S
5 years ago

So a woman wearing a t shirt that a particular man thinks is misandric said particular man can murder her if he wants to.

Now there’s a dead, murdered, young woman and some asshole thinks he predicted it. Violence is acceptable for men against women if women upset men. All these jackasses can say is they warned people, like this is an okay thing to do. Is anybody else starting to feel crazy, too?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

It’s a lot easier to make fun of MRAs when they’re charging obscene amounts of cash for conferences and making hilariously awful “documentaries” about “ethics in video game journalism” or whatever the fuck. When very real and very awful violence is committed by these shitbirds, suddenly it’s a lot harder to laugh at them.

Yeah, this is where I get the urge to yell obscenities and break things, rather than merely laugh and point.

What really sickens me is how these guys, before anything is known about the killer’s actual motives, just assume that she “did something to deserve it, because FEMINIST”, and promptly make up the most stinkingly ridiculous projections imaginable. And if it turns out that this murder had nothing to do with her being a feminist, then what? Well, they’ll probably STILL insist that she “deserved” it, because she was gay and a bitch who rejected a poor lonely incel who just wanted to have a threesome with her and her girlfriend (is that too much to ask?). Or whatever other stupidities they can concoct…because reasons.

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

This blogger needs to be launched into the sun. Who honestly thinks someone had murder coming or they ‘took one for the team’ and his write up about beating a feminist complete with the creepy sexual overtones… Yeah… ugh. No. I’ll be buried in blankets trying to shake that one off the rest of the day.

Bad_dog
Bad_dog
5 years ago

Jezus, this is horrific.
Thoughts and prayers to her family and friends.
All I can hope for is just punishment for the murderer and some action on the part of the university to make their campus a safer place for women. And not just some weasel-y words like “oh we don’t support this sort of thing”, no there should be actually real life steps taken. Its 2015 and its fucking ridiculous that shit like this is still happening and there are segments of the population who think it is acceptable!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Bina
Exactly these Devils want any excuse to kill us and simply make our lives miserable because they’re so scared of losing their power and will suffer consequences for their actions.

I wish I knew what I could do I’m tired of sitting here and watching my sisters dying and suffering I wish there’s more that I could do than sign petitions.

Speaking of petitions will everyone please sign this?
https://www.amnesty.org.uk/actions/child-denied-abortion-after-rape-save-her-life?utm_source=FBPAGE&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=20150430175800&utm_campaign=Maternal_reproductive

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

What really sickens me is how these guys, before anything is known about the killer’s actual motives, just assume that she “did something to deserve it, because FEMINIST”, and promptly make up the most stinkingly ridiculous projections imaginable. And if it turns out that this murder had nothing to do with her being a feminist, then what? Well, they’ll probably STILL insist that she “deserved” it, because she was gay and a bitch who rejected a poor lonely incel who just wanted to have a threesome with her and her girlfriend (is that too much to ask?). Or whatever other stupidities they can concoct…because reasons.

I actually don’t think it’s necessary to consider the killer’s motives in order to say that Mike Oelke is a terrorist. Regardless of what motivated the murder, Oelke’s motive is quite clear: he wants to use this murder to inspire terror in women.

The murder itself was probably terrorism, but Oelke’s blog post is terrorism without question.

mildlymagnificent
5 years ago

It’s a good thing I don’t have to talk to her family. There are no words. What a terrible loss.
————————————————————————————————————–

For me? I was looking for a place for yet another sad story of a victim of male violence that has an encouraging little note within it. Here’s as good a place as any, I suppose.

A group in an Australian country town wanted to have a procession to mark the death of a local indigenous woman.

It was a short march to lay a wreath, but …
the police encouraged them to take a longer route in order to pass the pubs.

Even more encouraging, many more people showed up for this small ceremony in this small town than the organisers expected. http://www.theguardian.com/news/bush-mail/2015/may/10/on-mothers-day-the-scourge-of-violence-against-women-hits-home

So the police are deciding that enough is enough and that they’ll do what they can to support getting the message out to the community.

Who knows. Perhaps more police groups, more universities, more local authorities will start to do more to support women who tell them there’s a problem. It’s been a long, long time coming, but maybe we’ll get a real start some time soon. As the writer puts it at the end of the article …

Happy Mother’s Day.

Spindrift
Spindrift
5 years ago

This Oelke creature makes me sick. Also, it’s pretty easy to predict a feminist will get killed sooner or later when men are already killing women regardless of whether they identify as feminists or not. To then wait for a murder to happen and say it proves your point about misandry is just disgusting and wrong.

It’s like predicting that if african americans aren’t nicer to cops they’re going to get killed. Just cause you can predict something will happen doesn’t mean you’re right about why it will happen. This is preemptive victim blaming.

@fruitloopsie

Signed the petition.

samantha
samantha
5 years ago

First, my deepest sympathies for the family and friends of Grace Mann.

Second, this is what life has been for women for thousands of years. For whatever reasons, patriarchs seem to think that the world – and all beings who live on it – belongs to them. They look at women and see things that they can, and should, use for their own pleasure. When women protest, the patriarchs say that it is “nature” that makes REAL women submissive to men. It never occurs to them that if women, unlike men, are ruled totally by hard-wired biology, it WOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE! We would not question our “natures.” The fact that we do makes us unnatural, criminal, even, and certainly misandrist. Rape and murder are the tools they use to terrify us and send us home. This is why there are, in many cultures, proscriptions about women’s dress, with whom we can speak, where we can go and with whom, who we may love and with whom we may sleep. They are even destroying the living planet! Mother Earth is just one more rape-able toilet for them!

I tried to teach my own daughter about the realities of life under patriarchal rule. They say it is to protect us. What they DO NOT say is that we are being “protected” from THEM. This will not stop until we refuse to be cowed, to live the “lives” they design for us, to sleep with them. When will we rise up, worldwide, and say NO! NO MORE!!! Never AGAIN the Burning Times!

Yes, I am furious. This unfortunate woman is just one more victim of a system that hates, wants, and destroys women for the pleasure of the ruling PATRIARCHAL class. It is time we named it for what it is. I need to go work in my garden now, so that I can re-connect with something of beauty.

Hypatia
Hypatia
5 years ago

@fruitloopsie

I saw that petition published on one of the anti-feminism facebook pages. The admin encouraged page fans to sign the petition, but of course, there were idiotic pro-life motherfuckers in the comments saying how the child of that little girl also has the right to live. Some people really know no limits with their pro-life propaganda.

samantha
samantha
5 years ago
Reply to  fruitloopsie

Awww…Fruitloopsie, thanks! You just made my day. I was on my way out to my garden when I stopped to check email again and found this.

(smiling with a happy tear on my cheek)

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

@Samantha – I had to do that with my youngest too. My husband was in the room at the time and told me I was making her terrified of men for “no reason” I sent her upstairs and spent fifteen minutes explain all the ‘no reasons’ to him after which he agreed these talks were really REALLY important.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Hypatia
I don’t know what to say I’m too upset over that rapist of a step father and sad over the mother and child to even think about anything else. I just…can’t even.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Samantha
🙂

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!

samantha
samantha
5 years ago

If “misandry” leads to the death of feminists, then what should we as women now do since men have proven that they’ll kill us over bullshit?

Mann was murdered by a member of the rugby team after a series of death threats because the rugby team got suspended. They made good on their threats. Going by Mike Oelke’s logic, it’s time for feminists to kill the rugby team. Kill them all. Lick the tears off their faces while they do it.

@Cyberwulf – Guess I will get to the garden a little later 🙂 What do we do? We do not stoop to their level. We learn how to defend ourselves and we refuse to obey, to listen to their lies, to live our lives according to their dictates.

It has been said that the best revenge is living well. Ok. We do that. We create/join women’s groups wherever we are, we learn to take care of ourselves. We make it so that we do not need them…at all. For those of us who want kids but not the husband, go to sperm banks. We need to bond together, watch out for each other and create and rear our families without them. By them, I mean patriarchs. Women have to learn how to choose men who are truly our friends, our companions and fellow travelers. Not all men are patriarchs, and too many women are. We need to learn the difference.

I would even go so far as to advise women who want to go to college to find a women’s college. Studies have shown – and I wish I could remember where I have read this – that women and girls learn best and get higher grades when they learn with other women/girls.

samantha
samantha
5 years ago

Oh, and I send out a Happy Mother’s Day to every mom here!

Doctor Bill (@TheDoctorBill)

“Misandry” isn’t even a thing, just a feeble excuse to hate.

And the next time I see a woman in a “Kill All Men” t-shirt it will be the first.

Eat a bag of shit Oelke!

samantha
samantha
5 years ago

@Fruitloopsie – Thanks for the link to the Amnesty International petition. I happily signed and pray that she is able to have the abortion she needs.

samantha
samantha
5 years ago

@Samantha – I had to do that with my youngest too. My husband was in the room at the time and told me I was making her terrified of men for “no reason” I sent her upstairs and spent fifteen minutes explain all the ‘no reasons’ to him after which he agreed these talks were really REALLY important.

@Johanna Roberts – Yup. I got the same response from my husband, until I told him about the rapes and beatings that I had gotten. He is such a sweet guy, but that kind of behavior was just not on his radar. After that, he, too, stepped back and agreed. Sad that this has to be done, is it not?

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