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Mike Buchanan, the Men’s Rights buffoon who won 153 votes in the UK elections, is declaring victory

Aw yeah!
Aw yeah!

On May 7th, as I noted here yesterday, Men’s Rightser Mike Buchanan only managed to score a humiliating 153 votes in the UK election. This brought the total number of votes cast for Buchanan’s Justice for Men and Boys Party to — let me doublecheck the math here — 216 votes. 216.

The Labour Party, by contrast, won a total of 9,347,326 votes. But this was considerably less than the victorious Tories, and was seen as such a disaster for the party that Labour leader Ed Miliband resigned in disgrace.

But Men’s Rights Activists can never admit defeat. And so huge loser Mike Buchanan has declared his total drubbing to be a victory of sorts, telling the world — or whatever tiny portion of it that was paying attention — that his party had “achieved what we set out to achieve.”

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Here’s the, er, logic behind his victory claim, as set forth in a statement posted on his website, and on Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men.

Around 05:30 today, the results were declared in the two seats where Ray Barry and I were standing. I secured 153 votes, Ray 63, and I’d like to thank the good people who voted for us.

While more votes would have been welcome, we achieved what we set out to achieve, which was to use the democratic process to break the conspiracy of silence about J4MB and men’s human rights, and show up the hypocrisy and blatant gynocentrism of the mainstream political parties.

If your aim was merely to make a bit of noise, congratulations, Mike; a radiator can do that.

Mike took a moment to point out one piece of “evidence” for this terrible gynocentrism: Labour’s Gloria de Piero, who won the seat Buchanan competed for so miserably failed to compete for, didn’t even bother to mention him in her victory speech.

“Whether you voted for me, or Helen, or Philip, or Simon,” de Piero declared, “I promise to represent you all, and work tirelessly for you all.”

Buchanan sniffed:

So it’s only men in Ashfield for whom she won’t work tirelessly over the next five years.

Either that or she just didn’t feel the need to acknowledge a ludicrous “candidate” who got such a small percentage of the vote that it didn’t even round up to 1 percent. Or maybe she just forgot? In any case, I’m pretty sure there are some men who voted for her, or Helen, or Philip, or Simon.

Buchanan acknowledges that “we expected to secure a higher number of votes” — no shit; a fart in a jar could have done better — and blames the poor showing on the fact that “this was our first general election, fought with very limited funds.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

But even though he and his party comrade failed miserably at the polls, Buchanan takes heart in the fact that the complete assholes who blight the comment sections of every major UK newspaper were on his side.

[T]he comment streams in articles by the Telegraph, Independent, Mail, Express, and even the Guardian and Observer, have been highly supportive of J4MB, and many thousands of people have been led to our website after reading these articles.

I guess, from my point of view, this is a highly reassuring result, showing that these commenters don’t reflect the opinions of some silent majority, but rather that of a very loud but actually quite miniscule minority.

But Mike, seriously, you need to acknowledge your failure, as have the leaders of all the major losing parties. More than this, you need to accept the painfully obvious conclusion:

Your party has tried a male leader, and he — that is, you — failed miserably.

Clearly, you need to step down and let a woman take charge.

 

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ryohji
ryohji
9 years ago

And nobody was kind enough to stand up, go to his podium and whisper in his ear that in order to win an election, you’ll need the most voices not the fewest? Misandry !

Nequam
Nequam
9 years ago

Does the Raving Monster Looney Party still exist?

Nequam
Nequam
9 years ago

Nemmind, missed a post. Durr. Glad they’re still around, though.

http://youtu.be/TRM3LO2ZCac

(Hope that isn’t triggery; to me it’s just a novelty song by the MRLP’s founder.)

BVH
BVH
9 years ago

that his party had “achieved what we set out to achieve.”

Well, if they set out to prove the MRA movement does not represent men at all, but a negligible, irrelevant and delusional fringe, then he’s right.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Bet ya a quid that they’re a boy under 18 years old.

(Although you’d have to accept my defeat bet in USD.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

The MRLP’s policies included:

Lowering voting age to 18
All day pub opening
Passports for pets.

All of which eventually became law.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ GODDAMN!!!!!!! Batman etc.

You’re on!

[What is we’re betting about again?]

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Whether you forget about betting on someone who is male and under 18 years old.

Pay up.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ GAWWWWWDAMMMMNNNNN! etc

There’s £0.646789 here with your name on it.

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

Does the Raving Monster Looney Party still exist?

Very much so. In last Thursday’s election they came twentieth, with 3,898 votes. That put them well behind the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol party (17th, 8,419) but well ahead of the British National Party (25th, 1,667).

And yes, that’s the same British National Party that got so many people spooked in the first decade of the 20th century – in 2010 it managed 563,743 votes, so that’s a 99.7% drop. There wasn’t much good election news for people of my persuasion, but that was one of the major exceptions.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

That’s not a quid. That’s 64.6789% of a quid.

I know what a quid is, Alan.

I know.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

Damn. You women *can* understand complex financial issues; the MRAs lied to me.

OK, your $1.5461 awaits.

Dedj
Dedj
9 years ago

153 votes is well within the realm of most of his votes being comprised of family and friends, as well as some people that thought he was still Tory, and the rest being made up of people that thought he was the guy from Art Attack. Very few will be from actual supporters.

153 votes is less than many comedy entrants managed to get.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Yaaaaay! Having to repeat algebra 1, geometry and algebra 2 twice in high school paid off!

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

153 votes is less than many comedy entrants managed to get.

Comedian Al Murray got 318 votes.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

Does that mean that now technically you’ve got algebra 2, geometry 2 and algebra 4?

No wonder you’re so good at this.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Pfff, I wish. I probably would have been more comfortable going into (high school) physics if I didn’t suck at math so much. Physics is really interesting.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

I had the same thing. I did A level physics but got kicked out of A level maths. The weird thing is, although there was obviously a lot of overlap I understood concepts in physics when I couldn’t grasp the same concepts in maths. Maybe it was a difference between the abstract and the actual.

I do love physics though, and science generally it’s all fascinating. Mind you, I find everything interesting (except football).

Cornish Pixie
Cornish Pixie
9 years ago

His humiliation is particularly amusing given Ashfield is a former coal mining constituency, (ok the pits are all closed now but plenty of former miners still live there) and we know how MRA’s love their ‘Feminism is a lie cuz coalminers are mostly men’ argument.

Yet practically none of these old miners, supposedly victims of the gynocracy which made them do all the dirty dangerous work while the lazy women sat round eating bon bons, felt sufficiently wronged by it to vote for Buchanan, and instead returned not only a women, but the Shadow Minister for Women and Equalities and staunch feminist no less, with a considerably increased share of the vote…………

Some1Here
Some1Here
9 years ago

I have a cat that might have some British Shorthair in him but I’m sure that he could scrape up more votes than Buchanan got (especially with his “a dead mouse on every welcome mat” campaign that he’s running now.)

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

a fart in a jar could have done better

And probably have raised more money to cover the deposit, too.

>snurk!<

Earl
Earl
9 years ago

Oh man, David, you turned the snark up to 11 for this post, and damn if it didn’t work. Hilarious.

misseb47
misseb47
9 years ago

chaltab-Me too!! XD I always have found it funny the way the MRAs throw words like ‘gynocentrism’ around when there is substantial evidence that the world is anything but gynocentric. In fact, it has no grounding in reality. Women are underrepresented in politics, and make up fewer military personnel, lawyers, magistrates, judges, politicians and CEOs etc For example, as Karl pointed out, only 27% of the candidates were women. ‘Gynocentrism’ is yet ANOTHER word that they have pulled out of their arse. They seem to pull out a LOT of stuff from their arse, almost everything in fact. O.O

” Mr Buchanan might invest his time in some basic mathematics courses.”

Yep, definitely.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

Mathematics? I thought they taught “27% is less than half” in elementary school.

misseb47
misseb47
9 years ago

153 votes?!?! But seriously, TOTAL LOLNESS AND HAHA! XD Damn, I can’t believe the Cannabis is Safer than Alcohol and Raving Monster Looney Party got more votes than that. Hell, even I could get more votes than that. I should totally run for parliament (along with my feminist friend Katie, of course). lol Even the Evil Feminazis for Misandry party will get more votes than that. ^^;