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Mike Buchanan, the Men’s Rights buffoon who won 153 votes in the UK elections, is declaring victory

Aw yeah!
Aw yeah!

On May 7th, as I noted here yesterday, Men’s Rightser Mike Buchanan only managed to score a humiliating 153 votes in the UK election. This brought the total number of votes cast for Buchanan’s Justice for Men and Boys Party to — let me doublecheck the math here — 216 votes. 216.

The Labour Party, by contrast, won a total of 9,347,326 votes. But this was considerably less than the victorious Tories, and was seen as such a disaster for the party that Labour leader Ed Miliband resigned in disgrace.

But Men’s Rights Activists can never admit defeat. And so huge loser Mike Buchanan has declared his total drubbing to be a victory of sorts, telling the world — or whatever tiny portion of it that was paying attention — that his party had “achieved what we set out to achieve.”

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Here’s the, er, logic behind his victory claim, as set forth in a statement posted on his website, and on Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men.

Around 05:30 today, the results were declared in the two seats where Ray Barry and I were standing. I secured 153 votes, Ray 63, and I’d like to thank the good people who voted for us.

While more votes would have been welcome, we achieved what we set out to achieve, which was to use the democratic process to break the conspiracy of silence about J4MB and men’s human rights, and show up the hypocrisy and blatant gynocentrism of the mainstream political parties.

If your aim was merely to make a bit of noise, congratulations, Mike; a radiator can do that.

Mike took a moment to point out one piece of “evidence” for this terrible gynocentrism: Labour’s Gloria de Piero, who won the seat Buchanan competed for so miserably failed to compete for, didn’t even bother to mention him in her victory speech.

“Whether you voted for me, or Helen, or Philip, or Simon,” de Piero declared, “I promise to represent you all, and work tirelessly for you all.”

Buchanan sniffed:

So it’s only men in Ashfield for whom she won’t work tirelessly over the next five years.

Either that or she just didn’t feel the need to acknowledge a ludicrous “candidate” who got such a small percentage of the vote that it didn’t even round up to 1 percent. Or maybe she just forgot? In any case, I’m pretty sure there are some men who voted for her, or Helen, or Philip, or Simon.

Buchanan acknowledges that “we expected to secure a higher number of votes” — no shit; a fart in a jar could have done better — and blames the poor showing on the fact that “this was our first general election, fought with very limited funds.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

But even though he and his party comrade failed miserably at the polls, Buchanan takes heart in the fact that the complete assholes who blight the comment sections of every major UK newspaper were on his side.

[T]he comment streams in articles by the Telegraph, Independent, Mail, Express, and even the Guardian and Observer, have been highly supportive of J4MB, and many thousands of people have been led to our website after reading these articles.

I guess, from my point of view, this is a highly reassuring result, showing that these commenters don’t reflect the opinions of some silent majority, but rather that of a very loud but actually quite miniscule minority.

But Mike, seriously, you need to acknowledge your failure, as have the leaders of all the major losing parties. More than this, you need to accept the painfully obvious conclusion:

Your party has tried a male leader, and he — that is, you — failed miserably.

Clearly, you need to step down and let a woman take charge.

 

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venny
venny
9 years ago

“Very much so. In last Thursday’s election they came twentieth, with 3,898 votes. That put them well behind the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol party (17th, 8,419) but well ahead of the British National Party (25th, 1,667).”

where can i find a list of all the parties and how many votes they got each? thanks in advance

Steve D
Steve D
8 years ago

My car made a bit of noise, too. A new muffler and shocks and it was fine. Then I got the bill. Then I made noise.

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