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The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist

That is a lot of tweeting.
That is a lot of tweeting.

So have you been following this whole  thing on the Tweeter? The hashtag was started a couple of days ago by some right-wing radio dudes as an excuse to say mean things about feminism. By yesterday it had turned into a monster, with some feminists jumping in to try to combat the forces of darkness; as I write this at 7:28 AM Wednesday it’s still going strong.

Happily, the hashtag is proving to be very educational. So I would like to share with you The top 10 shocking “truths” about feminism I’ve learned from #HowToSpotAFeminist. You may want to take notes, as some of them are truly shocking indeed.

1) Feminists are fat and ugly with stinky, hairy armpits and no one likes them

https://twitter.com/TechEFX/status/595634992702685184

https://twitter.com/Sgt_Bravo/status/595770240291733506

https://twitter.com/SaltyCon/status/595698771264217090

https://twitter.com/gardenofthegods/status/595746816307630083

https://twitter.com/Mikkjr/status/595777294377078784

https://twitter.com/Hello_Meow/status/595793317100658688

https://twitter.com/JeremySteyer/status/595757786627186689

https://twitter.com/jokeocracy/status/595620011567390721

Oh, wait, I think that last one is a ringer.

2) Feminists have smelly vaginas that may contain sand, cobwebs

https://twitter.com/BizarroGodzilla/status/595656206947069952

https://twitter.com/Your_in_nation/status/595828853009993728

https://twitter.com/ComputerThug/status/595604888362590208

3) These ugly, fat, hairy, feminists with stinky armpits and cobweb-filled vaginas sometimes resort to ad hominem instead of serious man logic

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595854364859887617

https://twitter.com/HeroOfCanton42/status/595821728259055617

https://twitter.com/ABurntTVDinner/status/595756421314129922

4) Feminists are Jews, or they’re controlled by Jews, or, I dunno, something to do with Jews

https://twitter.com/CapitalistMao/status/595752677163847681

https://twitter.com/AntiRHitler/status/595843351200571393

https://twitter.com/QuantumBios/status/595718068095025153

https://twitter.com/ReddFields/status/595859969783762944

jewslose

5) Feminists don’t know what “real feminism” is, and need to have some doofus on the internet who refers to women as “cumsluts” explain it to them

https://twitter.com/CartoonRage/status/595858534690136064

https://twitter.com/TsundereRager/status/595564852501999616

6) Feminists think they are equal to men, even though they sometimes need to have things repaired

https://twitter.com/voteforcantwell/status/595690322908344323

7) Feminists for some weird reason think that rape is bad even though they’re so ugly no one would even want to rape them

https://twitter.com/MARTYM0NDAYS/status/595747350083203074

https://twitter.com/olearyos/status/595789379534196736

https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/595881432196714496

8) Feminists aren’t real women, possibly because they don’t like Hitler enough

https://twitter.com/rentrikin/status/595648628116606977

https://twitter.com/ThatFoxyShadow/status/595726000987742208

9) They have kept alive by men for all of human life and still are with male taxes.In 40years of feminism only assault men

https://twitter.com/Sizzle75Ian/status/595856408651902979

10) Whatever the hell is going on here

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chaltab
chaltab
9 years ago

The way to make your ideas seem reasonable and coherent is to make ad hominem attacks, bash your opponents for making ad hominem attacks, and post antisemitic propaganda about how smelly and gross your opponents are.

Spindrift
Spindrift
9 years ago

“HOW CAN I KNOW IF I’M A FEMINIST OR NOT IF I DON’T HAVE A CAR??? It’s all so confusing!”

First women are the cars, then it’s women get raped by cars, then women are buses, now feminists are identified by how they deal with damaged cars? Misogynists are really trying to make cars versatile when talking about women. It doesn’t seem to be working very well.

Dawn Incognito
9 years ago

@Shaenon:

How’d we get so dirty if we won’t even change a tire?

I don’t know about you, Shaenon, but I am absolutely encrusted with the remnants of years’ worth of bonbons.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

@dawn, perhaps also wax from SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES?

the 4th survivor
the 4th survivor
9 years ago

Combat the forces of darkness? You sure have a black and white view on things there David. Not that I don’t but at least I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking otherwise.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

Does it surprise anyone here that 4th doesn’t know what a joke is?

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

Oh hi. It’s you again.

Moving on, I also don’t have a car. Does that mean a deficiency in the quality of my feminism? Can I make up for it with extra misandry credits?

I just want to keep the pussy pass, man… D:

the 4th survivor
the 4th survivor
9 years ago

David was just kidding when he called anti feminists the force of darkness? I find that a little hard to believe.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@the 4th survivor

D’aww, I missed you. It’s nice to see you again. How’s your mom? Have you decided what to name your kitten? Whatever happened to that Leslie? What did the doctor saw about that mole on your back? Have you cleaned your room yet? Your father always complains about the sour milk smell coming from your door and how crusty your socks get. You should go outside and get more sun, it’s not healthy for someone your age to stay indoors and troll forums all day.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

Hyperbole is a thing that writers use to entertain.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

4th troll,
Put the word “hyperbole” into Google and you will perhaps understand what it is and how it is commonly used as a comedic device.

Interesting how you found this phrase more disturbing than the pro Nazi tweets and the attitude that rape is funny though. I guess when there’s unimpeachable evidence that your side is reprehensible, all that’s left is for you to nit David’s phrasing.

Bryce
Bryce
9 years ago

Andrwea Dworkin did question the possibility of consent in a Patriarchy, which could be interpreted as implying “all sex is rape”. Third Wave feminists aren’t exactly uncritical of her work.

the 4th survivor
the 4th survivor
9 years ago

I’m not worried about people being pro Nazi because nobody takes them seriously and they have no power so they’re not a threat. Not true of feminism.

Nobody thinks rape is funny except maybe people with mental illness. Those tweets were poking fun at feminists who think everything is rape.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Seriously 4th troll? What powers does feminism have? What do feminists say or do that is remotely equivalent to white nationalists? You know what, it doesn’t even matter. This doesn’t detract from the fact that you are on the same side as Nazis. A fact you’ve once again sidestepped.

isidore13
isidore13
9 years ago

How is feminism and feminists threatening, exactly? Spell it out, use small words.

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

Andrea Dworkin, Andrea Dworkin, Andrea Dworkin. Whenever MRAs want to try and make feminism out to be extremist they always only ever quote Dworkin. Or Solanas. Then hope that their followers will be dumb enough to assume that all feminists are like either of the two, or both.

Bryce, that’s not going to fly here. The reason third wave feminists are largely uncritical is because they don’t bother trying to dismantle what ONE woman said that was problematic. Bigger fish to fry and all that. Plus, rare is the feminist that calls Dworkin a “leader” of the movement.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

I’m not worried about people being pro Nazi because nobody takes them seriously and they have no power so they’re not a threat. Not true of feminism.

Nobody thinks rape is funny except maybe people with mental illness. Those tweets were poking fun at feminists who think everything is rape.

Hmmm. Neo-nazis aren’t a threat. People who think rape is a funny joke aren’t a threat. Feminists, on the other hand, ARE a threat.

…4th survivor, have you ever stopped to consider that maybe you the baddie?

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

It’s funny how they make fun at feminist who think everything is rape, but not MRAs who actually think that some things are comparable to rape and call all sorts of things rape but actual rape, like financial-rape or divorce-rape or the many other “rapes” that I’ve blocked from my mind.

Man, it’s almost like they don’t understand what rape is! Kinda like 4th survivor.

And, yeah, Nazis don’t have power because we’ve been raised to know Nazis are bad and anti-America, but their way of thinking persists, as does any white supremacy group. That’s why we have all these white police officers shooting unarmed black men and all these tweets that use anti-semitism and “Jewish” caricatures and all these assholes who think illegal aliens are destroying America.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

There’s also the fact that neo Nazi parties have won elected office in recent years in Sweden, Greece and probably other places too.

Bryce
Bryce
9 years ago

@sunnysombrera

Perhaps I could have been clearer: they AREN’T uncritical. Her work doesn’t receive universal praise/acceptance, even within the radical feminist sphere.

Robert
Robert
9 years ago

Bryce, perhaps because the actual, consensus reality Dworkin is sufficiently different from the strawDorkin you’re brandishing like a crucifix* that most feminists don’t find it necessary to disavow all allegiance to her?

*And we were vampires. That’s the joke.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

Can I put in a little word for poor old Andrea Dworkin here? I didn’t agree with everything she said, but she was relentlessly honest and she made a lot of good points. If you go back to the 50s, you can see how difficult it was for an average woman to avoid a life of poverty without submitting to a marriage in which she was legally required to provide sex whenever her husband wanted it. If that’s not a form of rape, then perhaps I need to be re-educated about rape. And things HAVE gotten better, but what she wrote still casts a lot of light on gender politics.
So please do not pair Dworkin with Solanas.

Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
Banana Jackie Cake, the Best Jackie and Cake! Yum! (^v^)
9 years ago

@Bryce

I think it was more or less the wording, because, well, you stated that she said “all sex is rape” but then you say that not all feminist aren’t uncritical about her work, as if there was a reasonably sized group that agrees that all sex is rape rather than very, very small handful of feminist which I’ve actually never heard of beyond stawman arguments.

Tone doesn’t convey well in text and brevity isn’t on our side on the internet so use as many words as you can to convey exactly what you mean. And gifs. Lots and lots of gifs.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

I should add that I have always thought that the SCUM Manifesto was a real hoot, but I’ll readily admit to having a warped sense of humor and I’m perhaps too ready to see irony where it isn’t.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Freemage linked to an article that debunks the “all sex is rape” quote on the previous page. Why are we still discussing this?